Hey bro – Just a quick note before we leave. Mom mentioned that you talk all the time about some co-worker. She wants me to get the scoop from you and pass it on but seeing that I’m leaving the country I don’t have time for this type of distraction. So I think the best solution would be for you to just come clean to Mom because with me being gone she needs the distraction! Peter

Jack smiled softly at the note from his brother at the same time Sue entered the Bullpen.

“Good morning,” she greeted him.

He studied her face fully before responding. “What?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he shrugged and closed his email quickly then went to pour a cup of coffee for himself as well as Sue.

That bit was particularly funny. duckfan, this is great!!!!! I love how Jack does these little thing for Sue, like getting her coffee. I'm sure she appreciates it!! Lovely setting!!

Jenny

intriguing start but a bit short!!!!

cath

Wonderful start! I look forward to more!

Great start!!!!

This was interesting to me...

Hmmm intere..... Unfortunantly due to the teasing shortness of your post I am unable to reply further at this time

Yay, another Duckfan story! Except...this one got off to an awfully short start, doncha think? More, please!

yeah, Pam, where's the rest of it???

Can't wait for more!

I'm so thrilled you're writing another story, Pam... and even more that it's this one!!! Can't wait for more!!!

Pam, I love it so far!! I guess it's going to be a "short story"!!!

Joy

Why does it have to be a short story? It can be long, can't it?????

Really nice start! I love it already! Can't wait to read more!

Hey Jack – Still here – you know the government – hurry up and wait. Think we will head out today. I know you don’t understand why I did this and I don’t expect you to really I guess, but it had to be done and I had to do it. I wanted you to know that I left your name as my contact person. I couldn’t bear the thought of some stranger telling Mom and Dad if something happened. Thanks and I’ll write when I can. Peter

Sue entered the Bullpen in time to see Jack drop his head into his hands. She put away her purse, unleashed Levi then stood in front of Jack’s desk.

“Everything okay?” she asked softly as Levi padded up and placed his head on Jack’s leg.

Jack took a deep breath as if to steady himself, then raising his head he attempted a smile. “Its fine,” he said quickly turning his attention to Levi so Sue couldn’t see his face.

“Okay,” she said turning to return to her desk.

Just before lunch Jack leaned against Sue’s desk and signed “Lunch? Friend need.”

She nodded, and clipped Levi’s leash to his collar then picked up her jacket and they left.

Sitting in the park, eating a sandwich and tossing the ball for Levi, Sue waited.

Finally Jack began “My brother sent me an email today.”

“Oh how is he? Will he be home for the holidays?” Sue asked.

“He’s fine and I doubt it. He left for Iraq again today,” Jack explained.

“Oh but I thought…” Sue began.

“Yeah me too but apparently he volunteered to go back. Why do you volunteer for that?” Jack shook his head, his emotions on edge.

“Because it is his job,” Sue said.

“His job – he was done with his part of that job in August! He was supposed to come home and go to law school, not take someone else’s place in the middle of a war,” Jack stormed.

“Why did he take someone’s place?” Sue asked.

“Who knows? Maybe because he has no regard for our parents and their feelings?” Jack said.

“I’m sure there’s a better reason than that,” Sue answered.

Noting the time Jack said “We’d better get back to work.” He whistled for the dog as Sue sighed and wondered if she would ever get him to open up.

Love Sue's steady thinking...her "always trying to see the best" is coming out and when will Jack open up??? and why did Peter go???

Pam, I have a feeling this is going to be heartwrenching!! You've only written a small part, but I can feel the emotion coming off the page already!!

Joy

I love that Jack sought out Sue when he needed a friend, even though he really didn't open up much. Lots of questions here, Pam, that I know you'll answer in time. In the meantime, I think we're in for a wonderful, emotional ride!!

How did I miss this one?????!!!!! Gasp!!!!! Well thankfully I'm all caught up now! At least I think I'm thankful. Is this going to be angsty? Am I going to need chocolate and kleenex? Loved Jack getting the coffee, such a switch from the typical woman fetching it. I think I know why Peter volunteered. and I find it ironic that Jack is complaining about him going back to Iraq when his job requires him to put his life on the line almost daily. And love that he's sought out Sue. Hopefully he's going to confide in her some more.

kav

A/N: Trying to post between storms (and Jack sitting on the keyboard) - hopefully I'll be back later today!

Jack was staring at his computer again when Sue walked in with Lucy a few mornings later.

“So do you sleep here now?” Lucy joked. Shaking his head, he got up and left the Bullpen.

“What did I do?” Lucy asked, frowning.

“Nothing, his brother went back to Iraq,” Sue explained “but I don’t think he’s ready for it to be Bullpen conversation.”

“I can respect that,” Lucy nodded, walking toward her desk to get started on her day.

“I got a letter from my brother today,” Jack told Sue at dinner that night. She cocked her head and looked him in the eye.

“Aren’t you going to ask how things are?” Jack wanted to know.

“Will you tell me if I do?” Sue asked back. Jack sighed and watched this woman that he loved as she looked at him defiantly.

“We had an argument…” Jack began then grabbing the server he quickly paid the bill and escorted Sue out of the restaurant.

Back at his apartment he began again “We had an argument. He was home, still in the reserves but with little chance of going anywhere because he had started law school. And suddenly out of the blue he announces he is going back to Iraq for six more months. Law school can wait, he said, this was more important.”

“Why was this so important?” Sue asked.

“I don’t know, I didn’t ask him,” Jack said somewhat sheepishly.

“Oh, Jack,” Sue’s meant her words for comfort but he didn’t take them that way.

“All I could think of was how hard this was for our parents and why couldn’t he understand that!" Jack protested.

She reached out and touched his face gently. “It’s a defense mechanism,” she told him.

“What is?” he asked confused.

“Your anger. If you harden your heart and feel anger then if something happens you think you won’t feel as much pain,” she explained then seeing the look on his face she continued “but you’re wrong – you’ll feel more.”

Jack got up and left the room then and she wondered if she had pushed too hard. He came back a few minutes later and handed her the letter. She took it hesitantly.

“I want you to read it too,” he encouraged. So she did.

Do we get to read it too?

Hope you don't suffer any negative consequences due to the storms.....I've almost forgotten what rain looks like- it's been a while here. Just lots of sunshine and heat!

Isn't it amazing how easily what we intend as comfort is taken inversely?

This is wonderful, Pam!!

sure hope we get to read the letter and i'm sure sue will help jack deal with his anger and other mixed up emotions

cath

At least Jack is talking to Sue about this, rather than keeping it to himself!! She is so good with him!!!

Pam, I love the way you write!!!

Joy

Ditto to all of that!!!!!

I love the way you are weaving this!!!!

It's great!!

Jenny

I snuck on during lunch...soooo much work to do in a library at the end of school. Now I have nervous butterflies in my tummy and they're not the good kind. I'm glad he keeps reaching out to Sue.

kav

Glad I finally got the time to check this out. I too think this one is going to prove to be heartwrenching. I know what it's like to have a loved one go fight in a war and it sure isn't easy. Thankfully Sue is there for Jack and their relationship seems to be on solid ground right now. Jack has even admitted to himself that he loves her...but has he told her that?

Jack - Okay so here I am again and nothing has really changed. Well the address to write me is different so hopefully I will be able to receive mail and not just send it. This time of year, this country can be actually pretty. Such a stark difference from where we grew up which is what I guess makes it look remarkable to me. The summer heat and sandstorms have passed for the most part. We have settled into a routine and I find that helps my team focus so much better. Those that are new to our unit don’t appreciate the structure that we keep even when we are home but once we are dispatched out, the routine makes everyone more secure and that in turn breeds good teamwork.

I’m mailing Mom and Dad a letter today also but could you call when they get yours just in case it gets lost? I asked them to do the same to you. The mail here isn’t quite as dependable as it is at home.

Time to eat and I need to round up my team. Tomorrow is Sunday and the teams take turns cleaning and preparing the area we use for church. It is my team’s turn. It some instances I think they find great comfort in the church service but in others I think it is a reminder of home and families that we miss. I shall say a prayer that you have forgiven me for what you termed my selfish actions and hope that one of these days you will ask why I made this choice. Later, Pete

“Did you call your parents?” she asked. At the shake of his head No it was her turn to encourage “You need to, because he asked that you do.” Sighing again, Jack picked up his phone, scanned thru the numbers until he found the one he wanted then hit send.

She watched his end of the conversation which wasn’t much. When he was finished, he smiled slightly, and leaned in to kiss her. “Better?” she asked.

After kissing her one more time he agreed “Somewhat but now I need to take you home and that never makes me better.”

She smiled back and ran her hand lovingly along his cheek then said “You need to write him back.”

“I know,” Jack admitted pulling her up from the couch while he still had the willpower to do so.

I think with Sue's encouragement Jack is going to be able to work through this situation with his brother!!!

Joy

Why won't Jack ask his brother why he made this choice?

Jack can be so stubborn at times! I still find it ironic that he's ticked that he's brother has placed himself in a dangerous situation when Jack does it every day of himself. I think it's that part of him that wants to take care of everybody he loves -- he tries to dictate the way they live so that he can keep them safe. He must feel so helpless because there's nothing he can do to help his brother if anything bad should happen. I hope he settles the score with Peter sooner than later though. I love Sue's gentle push -- and he did what she asked! Ugh -- can you imagine being Jack's parents with both your sons working in such dangerous jobs?

kav

Well said, Kav!! There's a lot to this story, Pam, and I'm loving the depth and layers!!! Looking forward to more!

Hey Peter – Thanks for the address. I called to make sure Mom and Dad had it as well. I’m sure you already know that because Mom was baking you cookies when I called. Hope they arrive still edible. She never sends me cookies although Sue is a very good cook so I’m not suffering by any means!

Work is the same. Feast or famine it seems and trust me we do more of our share of the hurry and wait routine.

Sue was captivated by the thought of church services. She said she finds it comforting knowing that in the midst of a war we can still celebrate God being with us. Well she said it much better than that but since I didn’t have the forethought to write it down you get my paraphrased versioned – sorry.

I’m sorry that I never I asked what made you do all of this. I guess I just figured I would get some response about serving our country and how I of all people should understand that. I do I guess but then again I don’t.

Do you need anything? I would be happy to send whatever just let me know. Write or email or call my cell phone, anytime, I like hearing from you. Jack

Okay it sounds like things are on the mend between Jack and his bro. At least I hope so.

Awww...too bad my bro isn't like that...

Glad Jack is reaching out to Peter and asking that question that needs to be asked. Love how their familial bond comes through even when they're at odds. This continues to b great!!!

Jack’s cell phone rang in the middle of night, startling him awake. “Hudson,” he answered groggily.

“Hey, I’ve got five minutes, if I’m lucky. The reason I did this doesn’t have to do with country or anything like that. It has to do with family – not mine but one of my co-workers. His wife was expecting their first child basically the day we were supposed to ship out. I couldn’t stand the thought of this guy going to Iraq without ever seeing his baby, so I took his slot. As for how our family feels about it – Mom told me that she hated for me to go but she wouldn’t have expected any other response because it is what we – you and me – have always done. I gotta go – later.”

“Peter – wait!” Jack cried.

“Yeah?” came the answer.

“Thanks,” Jack said quietly. He could see the grin now on his younger brother’s face.

“You’re welcome – now I’m expecting more information on Sue!” Then the line went dead and he was gone.

When Sue arrived at work the next morning, Jack was sitting with his head down on his desk. Fearing the worse, she approached quietly “Jack?”

He sat up then and blinked a few times. “Are you alright?” she asked.

“Tired, Peter called me this morning about 3:00am and I’ve been awake since,” he explained.

She nodded as he continued “Dinner? I’ll tell you about it.”

“Do you think you can stay awake that long?” she teased.

I think if he's with Sue he can!!! That was lovely duckfan!!! I loved Peter's reason for going. So touching!!

Jenny

Peter had a god reason for going

love that he still wants to know the details about sue and that she is there for jack through everything

if he falls asleep in his soup she can always give him the kis of life

cath

Wow, Peter seems like a really great guy.

What a lovely reason for going again!! Yes, I would have to agree with their mother, it's what the Hudson boys do!! How proud she must be of both of them!!!

Did you notice in Jack's letter to his brother, even though it was short, that he mentioned Sue several times??

I'm glad Peter took the time to call Jack and answer his question!! And, it was cute when he said he wants to hear more about Sue!!

Yes, Jack, I hope you stay awake long enough to have dinner with Sue and let her know what Peter said!!!

Thank you so much for this story, Pam!!

Joy

I knew it! I knew it!!! I figured Peter would have to be as noble as Jack And he isn't married, is he? Oh - sorry, my thoughts wandered there for a moment. Does he have the Hudson eyes, Pam? You can let us know that can't you? A little physical detail might be nice too...and whether he has a steady girlfriend? Sorry...I'm just tired tonight. Okay so, what I was really going to say is that ironically I just found out on Sunday that a friend of mine -- well, I haven't seen her in five years since she moved back to the states -- anyway, her son has just been shipped off to Iraq and he's leaving behind a a very young wife and newborn baby.

kav

OH Pam. I just caught up. What a gripping story. You have me nervous...not knowing if I should be on the verge of tears over Peter or cheering for Jack and Sue! I love that you I love that you're doing another story! I'll be back!

Jill

“So he offered to go so this co-worker could be home for the birth of his baby?” Sue was intrigued. Jack was leaning against the back of the couch, holding a plate of uneaten pizza.”

“I guess so,” Jack admitted.

“You’re still angry,” Sue observed.

“A little,” Jack agreed.

“This is what he does Jack, not unlike what you or Bobby or Myles do,” Sue reminded him.

“We aren’t in a war zone,” Jack answered tersely.

“You are in a different type of war zone, some days,” Sue corrected. “There is no better reason in the world to do something like Peter did than for the sake of this baby. Don’t you see that? If this guy had gone and something had happened to him, Peter never would have forgiven himself. He is right. Law school will always be there, but a baby, Jack that is a once in a lifetime opportunity and you can’t tell me that if you were in Peter’s position you wouldn’t have done the same thing.” Her last sentence was what got him. He knew he would have done exactly what Peter had done and someday down the road probably would in some capacity for a member of his team.

“What if something happens to Peter?” he asked softly, blinking back the tears that threatened from exhaustion and emotion.

“I guess Jack that is where our faith comes into play. If Peter can find God in the middle of a desert during a war then surely we can find him here at home. I pray for Peter daily, the congregation at my church prays for him because I put him on the prayer list, Lucy prays for him because I told her and she told her church and her grandmother’s church. We pray for Peter’s safety and for you to have courage. The courage to be able to love those around you despite the risks and the fears. I think, Jack, to have a job like yours or a job like Peter’s and not to be able to pray and find God is the first step in allowing the bad guys to win,” she moved his plate at that point and embraced him. He allowed himself to be comforted by her and by her faith which he was sure could move mountains.

Wow oh wow oh wow, so much of that post got to me.

You tell him Sue!!!! Now there's a lady with insight.

Now that just makes you stop and think. We have so much that we take forgranted and isn't it ironic that it sometimes seems easier to find God when we're in the worst situations of our life?

Amen. That's so powerful. And Sue would have that kind of perspective. Jack is beyond lucky -- shall we say blessed? - to have her in his life right now.

kav

ditto to Kav who said what i was thinking much better than i ever could

cath

Wow, some powerful stuff there duckfan!!!

Jenny

I managed to snag some computer time while working today, and I'm so glad that I did---look what I've been missing thanks to my computer woes! This story is so wonderful---the struggle within Jack is so believable, as are Peter's reasons for going back to Iraq. You're portraying the relationship between the brothers beautifully and realistically. Also loving the support Sue is giving Jack just when he needs it the most--I'm so glad he's able to turn to her!
Love that line and this story!

Leave it to Sue to make Jack realize how much alike he and his brother are!! And, that Jack would do the same thing for any friend of his!!!

And, Pam, I love the part about surely if Peter can find God in the middle of a camp in Iraq, we can find him here!!!

You have written this so true to form with our favorite characters that I can see this being acted out!!!

Joy

Ah Sue, always full of such quiet strength and wisdom.

A/N: Tina I hope your computer gets fixed soon! Thanks for the replies - I appreciate all of them!

Peter – So you want to know about Sue huh? I don’t know why Mom is quizzing you – she met Sue over the summer. I work with her. She’s very pretty, kind of stubborn, has a really nice dog and I think most days considers me her boyfriend in addition to her co-worker.

Christmas is coming and if Mom asks - I don’t know what I’m getting Sue yet. Probably not what Mom is hoping I’m getting her although I have been thinking about it. Maybe for her birthday…

I was wondering if the guy who’s place you took – if they had their baby? I hope that everything went well for them. I’m not certain I would have had the forethought to look at it the way you did and that bothers me some. It makes me wonder if I will some day embrace fatherhood the way it should be embraced or if I will just let it pass over me with the wave of a hand. Okay enough of the philosophical stuff…

I’m sending you socks and boxers. Still not sure why you didn’t want to ask Mom for those – she’s seen your underwear, in fact she would probably be happy to know you aren’t wearing underwear with holes in it! Sue found the whole thing amusing. You can thank her for the candy and the powdered juice mixes. She was smart enough to buy the ones with sugar already added, so needless to say I now have ten packages of the stuff which requires sugar which I don’t have. Guess I’ll put that on my grocery list. The team is coming over Friday so I suppose I could make some to drink. Pretty sure Bobby will drink it or spill it. Sue also picked out the non-chocolate candy. I told her you would eat it melted but she just shook her head. I tried the whole its winter there now but you’re still not getting any chocolate. I would have added it back in but she, Lucy and Tara (and probably Bobby) ate it. I should have sealed the box before I entered the office.

It’s late and I gotta go to bed. Take care! Jack