QUOTE(tis*me! @ Jul 9 2006, 08:46 PM)
If being a pompous idiot was justifiable grounds, Randy would have been gone a looooong time ago!

I think Myles might have gone too, I was trying to build the quote when Randy was going on a blind date but couldn't fit it inThose of a sensitive nature may not wish to read on!!!!!!!!!!Chapter 3
Reading the instructions she walked around the house her legs wobbling.
Taking a deep breath she picked up the phone.
Seeing his reply she spoke quietly, her voice wavering as her body trembled.
‘Jack…….? How are you with lizards…………?’
‘Lizards……….? Dunno………… is that what Randy has then?’
Jack could see the guys gawping at him as they stopped in the middle of the game of pool.
‘Lizards…….. and snakes……and rats….………, and spiders…….. big ones……… and lots of them………….’
Jack swallowed, ‘Ok………. I’ll come over……. I’ll bring Bobby………. Should be a piece of cake for him coming from the Outback, wrestling crocs and kangaroos……. You need food?’
‘Hudson, when you see what I have to feed these creatures……. You’ll know food is the last thing on my mind……….’
As Jack filled them in they all piled into his car and headed for Randy’s house.
The third bedroom was filled with an assortment of cages, each containing a living creature.
A large freezer was behind the door, ‘what’s in there?’ Jack asked, almost afraid to look.
‘You really want to know?’
‘Probably not’ he answered.
‘Mice and rats………… in all different sizes……… I have to feed them to the snakes and spiders………..’
The guys retched as Sue continued, ‘and there are insects for the lizards…….. live ones……….all the instructions are there’ she passed them the written instructions Randy had left.
The instructions were very clear, including guidance for cleaning them out.
‘He can’t seriously expect you to put your hand in a plastic box containing a tarantula can he………….?’ Myles was incredulous at the thought; if Sue did this he’d eat his hat.
‘Myles, I don’t care if I have to write every report for every unit in the whole DC bureau……nor will I allow him to pass on my reports to Jack…..
The guys looked at her, jaws dropping, as she explained, ‘he told me that if I did this little favour he would pass all my reports to Jack………. I was about to tell him I would continue to write his stupid reports, since Jack had more than enough already but he didn’t bother to listen……….’
Jack was fuming, the idea of taking Randy down in a very bloody coup was extremely appealing right now, not only had he put Sue in a position where she had to feed these creatures but he’d tried to blackmail her into doing it.
‘…. I am not cleaning out any of these creatures…… I’ll grit my teeth and feed them because it isn’t their fault that Randy has gone away for 3 weeks and I have no intention of letting them starve to death………’ she continued gazing into Jack’s eyes.
‘Technically Randy can’t make you do anything extra at the bureau………… the way I see it you’re doing the guy a favour and it isn’t work-related……… if he makes life difficult I will speak to Ted, he can tell the annoying little jerk to pull his head in……..’ D placed a fatherly hand on Sue’s arm as he spoke, she had a wonderful heart and he knew she’d be worrying about them all till Randy returned.
‘Are you sure they’re all secure?’ Jack asked, terrified at the thought of Sue being bitten by something poisonous and having no means of calling for assistance.
‘Thanks Hudson…….. that’s one more thing for me to worry about…….’ Sue rolled her eyes at him and felt her knees wobble as he winked at her.
‘Sue……… I’m not saying you’re not capable of looking after all these……. these creatures……….although I have to say I wouldn’t want to…….. but I believe the Napoleonic paper pusher has outdone himself this time…… I feel it is incumbent on us as members of your team to assist you with this onerous task ………’
‘You mean you’re going to clean out all the cages, Harvard?’ Bobby slapped Myles on the back as he spoke, winking at Sue.
‘No, Koala Boy that isn’t what I meant……………. I am merely suggesting that we find someone who loves these loathsome creatures and would be happy to assist the fair Miss Thomas in her task, since I am assuming that none of us feel up to the task……………….’
The guys all shook their heads as Sue spoke up, ‘I appreciate the thought Myles but it does seem as though I am cheating in the job……….’
‘Thomas, you are not cheating, merely delegating an onerous task to someone better suited……… as Jack does when he asks you to make the coffee since your coffee tastes far better than the creosote he makes……..’ Myles grinned as Jack threw him a dirty look.
‘Thank you Myles, although I think I can cope with the rats……. I had hamsters when I was younger…… and rats are just bigger hamsters……. How he can have pet rats and feed dead ones to the snakes I have no idea……….’
‘I reckon that just about sums up Randy the ridiculous……….’ D commented, ‘I suggest that while we are here Sue makes coffee and we can peruse the phone book and Internet for a local reptile shop…… we can begin to make the calls tomorrow morning then we should have the problem solved before lunch.
As Sue clattered cupboard doors open looking for mugs and spoons Jack entered the kitchen.
‘Want some help, Sue………?’
‘I can’t find anything; this man has no system whatsoever……. Aaaaaaaarggggggghhhhhhh’ she slammed another drawer closed in frustration.
‘Relax……….. I’ll go find a store, buy all we need……..’
Looking over at the guys now busy with the computer and phone books Sue decided she’d walk Levi with Jack.
‘Guys, we’re going out for milk………. and coffee……… and sugar………..’ she shouted as she and Jack exited the house with Levi following closely behind.
As soon as they were clear of the house Jack stopped and pulled her in for a kiss, ‘I hadn’t planned on the guys coming with me………. but Myles was prattling on about you being a damsel in distress and needing more help than I could possibly give!!!!!’ he grinned as he spoke.
‘I knew you’d gone out for drink and pool and it would have looked a bit suss if you’d refused their offer to come over……… unless you planned on telling them you were an expert on reptiles………..do you think anyone suspects we’re dating?’
Jack shook his head, if anyone had any idea Bobby or Luce would have mentioned it, ‘clueless the lot of them…………’
Watching them leave Myles asked, ‘do you think they know we know they’re dating at last?’
Bobby and D shook their heads, ‘not a clue, not a clue…….though how Luce has managed to keep quiet this long is beyond me……..,’ Bobby chuckled, but then he and Tara were dating so the longer these secrets were kept the better for both couples.
D smiled to himself, they had no idea that he knew about Bobby and Tara as well as Lucy and Myles.
Jack and Sue had been dating for about 3 months, Bobby and Tara for 2 while Myles and Luce were fairly new to the dating game this time around, he’d noticed something had changed 3 weeks ago, observed closely and had his suspicions confirmed a couple of days later.
Since then he’d been talking to Ted about changing the no dating policy as an outdated policy. To cover his tracks he’d also spoken to him about a number of other policies and procedures he believed should be changed or thrown out.