A/N: If you haven't read the series I did you may be confused by some of the characters mentioned in this story. For the most part it won't matter, but the background for Michele can be found in Finding Faith, pages 12 & 13, in my file in the Finished Section.

He rocked the baby in the dark of night, happy to give his wife some much needed rest, despite her protests that he should sleep since he had to work in the morning.

“I want to. I need to know her better,” he had said. That had bought him some silence and Tara had gone to bed although begrudgingly.

She really was a good baby, rarely having a fussy night. She seemed to know from the beginning that she wasn’t the only one in the house and she would simply have to wait her turn. Not that Bethany didn’t dote on her; she did from the first moment she held Natalie at the hospital. In fact it had gotten to the point where Bethany decided she didn’t want to go to preschool because she really didn’t want to leave her mother and the baby alone.

“You might give her too many kisses and not have enough for me,” came the reasoning.

“Bethany, that would be impossible, mommies and daddies have unlimited amounts of kisses,” Tara had tried to explain but to no avail.

Fortunately Tess had an answer when every thing else proved to not work.

So glad to see you entering the challenge, Pam, espcially since it's a continuation of your series! Beautiful, heartwarming start.

Yay, Pam!!! You KNOW I'm excited to see this! I love the image of Myles as a father!

I can see her tallying kisses on a chalkboard in the kitchen. Who gets how many and when!!!! I'm thrilled you started this.

kav

Sooooo glad to see a continuation of this terrific series.
thanks,
Terie
BTW> I enjoyed the rain today and the family actually let me on the computer for a change!

Tess bought Bethany the book A Pocketful of Kisses and that seemed to put Bethany’s fears at ease. However, it was read daily (or more) by anyone who dared to walk thru the door. By January, Bethany was doing the “reading”. This would occur anywhere, with or without the book. Myles explained it all to Tess one afternoon when she dropped by the bullpen to see Riley.

“That’s great. It’s the first step in learning to read. You should be really pleased with yourselves and her,” Tess insisted, smiling brightly.

“Yes, well, of course she is smart, but perhaps it is time for a different book – maybe one of the classics,” he tried to look stern but Tess just grinned more at his proud daddy behavior while the rest of the bullpen groaned.

He was proud of Bethany. A study he had read said preemies can take up to five years to catch up with their peers. Bethany had blown this theory completely away as in his mind she was miles ahead of her peers already. It probably was time for her to learn to read and not just memorize.

He had brought this up with Tara who had simply stated “She just turned 4. Perhaps we should work on some age appropriate things, maybe recognizing letters and numbers, perhaps some writing?”

“I think I will start reading her Little Women, and we should probably begin visiting the various art museums,” Myles continued. Tara had just rolled her eyes at that point.

D.C. had a variety of art museums and since Bethany enjoyed painting at preschool he thought this was an excellent place to start. Figuring they could spend some quality father-daughter time together and she would be learning in the process. Two weeks into it Bethany told him she didn’t want to go anymore.

“Why not?” Myles asked.

“Because they don’t let you paint anything. I want to go to McDonald’s and play on the toys. Call Joshie and ask him,” she insisted.

Gotta give Myles credit for trying! Bethany will have him trained yet.

Poor Myles. I love Bethany's idea of father/daughter time.
thanks,
Terie

Bethany wouldn’t let him read to her anymore either.

Finally Tara had had it, “You need to let her pick the books. Sorry if you have read it before but repetition is the key to learning, so unless the classics rhyme and can be read in one sitting, put them away!”

His ego somewhat bruised, Myles offered to read Bethany whatever she wanted and bedtime slowly returned to its routine. He was trying to explain it all to Tess one day when she and Riley had stopped by, telling her he was worried about Bethany’s academics. Tess actually laughed out loud at that point.

“Myles, just because she isn’t interested now doesn’t put her behind for the rest of her life. Education is a marathon, not a sprint, if you allow her to explore then she will learn to love school. And trust me, children who love school have the best success rates,” Tess assured him.

So he quit worrying about Bethany (well at least the education part) and began worrying about Natalie. Jenna had asked Jack to be on the Fatherhood Panel but not him. He was slightly irritated by this and when Jenna asked if he was coming his response was “Because you think I need to?”

“No because it’s always nice to have someone in the audience who has a clue and will agree for the most part about how important daddies are,” Jenna said sounding somewhat exasperated.

“Oh…” Myles didn’t really know how to respond to that.

“Did you think I didn’t ask you because I doubt your skills?” she questioned.

“Well…” he again didn’t have an answer so he just tried to brush it all aside.

“I have a place for you, it just isn’t quite up and running,” she promised.

“What?” he asked cautiously.

“Adoption support group. It will start in the spring or early summer. I was planning on you leading it,” Jenna explained. Then before he could formulate a response, she signed off saying she had another phone call and would expect him at the Fatherhood Panel.

You do such an amazing job of capturing Myles. Nice to see Jenna again!

Poor Myles, throwing himself into parenting ! Doesn't he realize that Dr. Seuss is a classic? I liked this bit:Though when I was in school I really wanted it to be over quick!
kav

So much truth and wisdom tucked into this story... love that about your writing, Pam!! You capture Myles so well - his heart as well as his mind and actions. And I'm very happy to see Jenna and Tess (and the others) again!!

I heard from my father that the worry never really end for a parent so I liked that line...very happy to see you posting again, Pam, will look forward for more!

The panel discussion turned out to be very eye-opening for him. He had never realized the number of men that had no concept on how to be a father. Things that came naturally to him, most of these men couldn’t even fathom. The missing piece he concluded was that he and Jack both had wives that expected them to be good daddies. Many of these men had no example of good parenting. He watched Jack answer questions, give examples and become slightly agitated at the response from some of the audience.

It’s a good thing Jack doesn’t have his gun, he would probably haul off and shoot a few of these people, Myles thought.

Jenna’s husband had taken them out for lunch when they were done. Myles was feeling very much like a star parent, Jack was feeling very frustrated and Eric just laughed at both of them, promising “This is good, Jenna will feel that it was successful.”

The only part that nagged him was the discussion of being involved in your child’s education. He had tried that and obviously failed. Jack still occasionally talked about helping out at preschool and would ask why Myles’ hadn’t volunteered yet. Leave it, however, to Tara to solve this problem for him.

That just cracked me up!

Yes Myles, why haven't you. It would be an illuminating experience for sure!!!!!

kav (who has to run back and WORK!)

Love to see the learning and growth in the Leland family.
thanks,
Terie

Ditto. This is a beautiful story duckfan!!!

Jen

“Mommy I want you to go with me,” Bethany Leland stomped her little foot as she spoke.

“Daddy wants to go. He’s really looking forward to it,” Tara explained, trying to comb her daughter’s hair.

“No, Daddy can stay home with Natalie and you can come roller skating with me!” Bethany insisted again, shaking her head. “Ow, you’re pulling my hair!” she cried.

“Well, stop moving your head,” Tara answered under her breath.

“What is all this noise coming from my favorite big girl princess?” Myles asked as he entered the bathroom.

“Mommy is pulling my hair,” Bethany said crossly.

“Well shame on Mommy,” Myles answered only to be handed a hairbrush and two ponytail holders.

“Have at it,” Tara said and left the room.

“I’m so looking forward to roller skating today,” Myles began, trying to brush his eldest daughter’s hair.

“Why can’t mommy go?” Bethany frowned.

“Because I want to go. I haven’t helped out in the classroom and it’s my turn,” Myles explained. “How about you just wear you hair down today?”

“No, two pigtails please,” Bethany insisted.

“Tara,” he called…

I love that so much! So true to life, Pam!

Oh Pam... what a wonderfully real scene!!! I loved that - could see and hear Tara and Myles perfectly! This is so great!

I'm late, but I'm here!! And boy oh boy is it ever fun! Myles.......you'd better have both eyes open for this story cuz you're going to learn a lot!!!

Okay.......... I'm set. Please continue!

Jill

wonderful scene, Pam!

The rink was bustling with preschool skaters and mostly mommies. Myles had an uneasy feeling that someone from the team was lurking behind a pillar ready to videotape every move he made. Jack had hooted with laughter when Myles had told him he was joining the class’ roller skating party.

“Tara had trouble with ballet – do you really think I’m going to let her go roller skating?” Myles asked. Bobby had outwardly shuddered at that thought while Lucy had tried to rise unsuccessfully to her friend’s defense.

“It really can’t be that bad. I mean she was little then. Surely she has gained more coordination by now,” Lucy said.

“She strained an abdominal muscle hula hooping last month,” Myles reminded them.

“It could happen,” Michele noted.

“Only to Tara,” Jack laughed, “Sue is looking forward to it so I’m sure the two of you will have a great time together. Paige will entertain Tara and Natalie.”

“I’ll be in after lunch tomorrow,” Myles grumbled on his way out the door.

“Can we figure out how to videotape?” Lucy asked Bobby and Jack.

“We probably can’t but I bet Riley could,” Jack grinned as the three of them raced over to Riley’s desk.

poor myles, his inability to skate will be on view for all to see, happy to see jack is still the big kid we know and love

cath

From the whole pony tail thing (by the way, Myles, barrettes are easier and they make your hair sing...check it out in Red Is Best by Kathy Stinson) What was she doing with a hula hoop in the first place???!!!! And I love Myles at his self sacrificing best. But oh, Pam -- you're sending him on his first preschool visit on a roller skating outing? I didn't know there was this cruel, sadistic side to you!

kav

You paint such a vivid picture of these characters with your writing, Pam! Hopefully Myles is able to enjoy the time spent with his daughter, aside from whatever antics the rest of the team cooks up.

This is the funniest line I have read!
thanks so much for this terrific story,
Terie

Poor Tara...she must have tried too hard!

Wowsers! You do such a great job family-wise with all sorts of topics, Pam. Love it.

I wonder if they do the Limbo for pre-schoolers at the rink...ours does...and the Hokey Pokey. I can see it now....Myles, you put your right foot in, you take your right foot out......

Jill

Fantastic, another story in the series, I really enjoy reading about these characters daily lives, it feels as if I am watching them go about their lives!

Myles is going to learn a lot I feel in this story

Glad that Jenna, Eric, Tess and Riley have made a reappearance aswell.

Soph

The rink was dim with the traditional shag carpet on the walls, benches and pillars. The décor caused Myles to wonder if the inventor of shag carpet had really meant for it to be used in such a way.

“Isn’t this great?” Sue tromped over with Josh in tow to where Myles and Bethany were standing.

“Great?” Myles echoed weakly.

“It is just like the rink I went to growing up, same décor, same lighting, I wonder if the disco ball works,” Sue grinned.

“There are more of these?” Myles asked.

“You never went roller skating growing up?” Sue was astounded. At the look on Myles’ face, she made quick work of putting the children’s skates on them before explaining to Myles how to lace and tie his.

Once everyone had skates on they hit the rink. In Bethany’s case literally. “Ouch,” she said rubbing her bottom.

“Let’s get your wheels tightened up a bit,” Sue said, leading Bethany over to the attendant. Once the wheels were tightened Bethany caught on fairly quickly how to skate and was soon chasing Josh around the rink.

“Josh skates like his father, I take it,” Myles noted as he and Sue leaned against the wall to watch.

“Well I would never admit that to Jack because I’m pretty good at skating too but he does have Jack’s fearless attitude,” Sue explained.

The children stopped in front of them yelling excitedly “Hokey Pokey.”

“What?” Sue couldn’t read them thru all the excitement.

“Hokey Pokey,” Myles said. Sue grinned and grabbed Josh’s hand. He in turn grabbed Bethany's who pulled Myles along as well.

THAT's what it's all about. Yeah!

I can't think of a better way for Myles to jump right in then to do a few rounds of the hokey pokey.

Uh -- nope...not like in an arena or anything...Pam, does this really exist? Is it like figure skating only on rollers? That just doesn't seem right! I think I need enlightening for my Northern-firmly-fixed-that-ice-is-needed-to-skate brain. But the hokey pokey I get...only if Myles has never been skating before.... Are these rollerblades or roller skates they're wearing? Either way, I think he should have a chair to keep him up!

kav

Myles your a brave man going roller skating for the first time to Spare Tara
I hope you are better coordinated than she is

Dianna

A/N: Yes Kav these rinks do exist at least in all the states I have lived in. Many of the older ones still have beautiful hardwood floors but the rest of the decor tends to be how I described it. It isn't hard to learn and most everyone I know can roller skate (4 wheels not inline) even if you didn't go to the rink growing up. The roller skating rink was the place to be when I was in Junior High School!

Myles allowed himself to join the circle half-heartedly. Tara had been insistent that he go, not so much because she couldn’t skate but because in the realm of being a daddy this stood out as an important moment for her.

“You need to have some preschool memories with Bethany also,” she had told him.

“I have lots of memories of things we do together,” he answered.

“But none of preschool - you haven’t been. If you go then Bethany knows that what she does during her day is important to you,” Tara had explained.

He had agreed although somewhat unwillingly. Now however, watching Bethany wiggle and giggle and sing and enjoy, he realized the difference between living your life and loving your life. She was certainly the love of his life, along with Natalie and Tara. She was so much like Tara that some days it caught him off guard – this little sprite of a person who had taken his world by storm. Bethany pulled impatiently on his hand “Chicken dance Daddy – I know you know how.”

If there had ever been a reason to chicken dance in his life, this was most certainly it. So he clucked and wiggled and circled with Bethany then with Sue then with Josh. For Myles Leland the Third to immerse himself in the atmosphere of preschool, to become lost in the giggles, the music and the lights despite the camera flashes going on around him, most would have thought impossible. It was a connection with his child unlike one he had ever made before. He witnessed the interaction with her peers, realized how much in personality she was like Tara and fell in love with her all over again. Myles was astounded once again by the feelings of fatherhood. Nothing could ever compete with being a daddy. Smiling at his daughter he knew Tara had been right - it would be one of the best memories he would forever share with Bethany.

AWWWWW! You almost made me cry with this one, Pam! *sniff*

So beautifully expressed, Pam! Loved all of this post!

My goodness Pam, that was stupendous. It reminds me so much of my husband's relationship with our two daughters. You described it so beautifully.
thanks,
Terie
BTW> My husband would not let me take his picture while playing "Pretty Pretty Princess" with his girls. It was hilarious seeing him wearing the jewelry that barely fit on him.

2 lovely posts

cath

Ditto. A perfect scene.

Jen

Well, my eyes are tearing and I read this at school!I love your writing because there's always little gems like this tucked inside and it's such a treasure to discover them.Thank you for theis incredible peek into Myles' growing insight on fatherhood. And I'll be picturing him chicken dancing the rest of the day. I hope someone gives Tara copies of the photos!!!!

kav

Yet here he sat, rocking his baby and worrying that he hadn’t done enough to love her in these first few months. Riley had really started all of this worry (well maybe not but he was a good scapegoat). Riley had explained very enthusiastically one day that he bought Tess a new MP-3 player and downloaded a song to represent each of the people important in their lives.

At the blank looks he received he continued “You know how they play a snippet of a song when the baseball player comes up to bat? Kind of like that.”

“Except doesn’t the player get to pick his own song?” Bobby questioned.

“It’s an imperfect world,” Riley shrugged with a grin.

Tara had gotten Katrina & the Waves “I’m Walking on Sunshine”. Riley had downloaded a song for him called “Daughters”. Myles had never heard of it and didn’t really want to but Riley insisted and since it was easier to give in than argue, he listened.

“At least it isn’t the Chicken Dance,” Jack pointed out, trying unsuccessfully to hide his smile.

Now the words would come back to haunt him randomly.

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the God and the weight of her world…
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do…*

He knew he would protect her at all costs, just like he would Bethany or Josh or Paige, but he worried that maybe wasn’t enough. His parents had yet to acknowledge their newest grandchild. Christmas came and they sent Bethany presents but nothing for Natalie. Bethany had refused to wear or play with anything that she knew came from her grandparents. Both Tara and Myles had tried to explain that it was all right to play with the toys but she stubbornly refused.

Finally Jenna had reminded them “Children have very real feelings but can’t always express them verbally. This is her expression of anger and not being able to understand. Be grateful that she is learning empathy. Ask her what she wants to do with those things and then do it.”

So when Bethany had said to throw the toys away, they had done better and simply taken all the things that Bethany didn’t want to a homeless shelter for families. When Myles’ mom mentioned that she had never received a thank you note, he mentioned that they were waiting for Natalie’s presents to arrive. She hadn’t spoken to any of them since and to be honest, he didn’t miss the strife.

*Daughters, Heavier Things, John Mayer, 2001, Aware/Columbia Records

bethany is so sweet, myles' parents could learn a great deal from her

cath

Dude. That was sharp for granma. Geeze. Go Bethany.

Pam,
so much I want to say yet words are hard to put together. I love each word you string together to give all of us a glimpse of life.
thank you,
Terie
BTW> I love the song "Daughters"

Aw Pam. Those were some sweet posts! Can't believe I got behind by three...but hokey pokey and chicken dance...yeah! My husband's favs when he takes the girls skating.

And Kav...even in MN we have roller skating!!! I'm sure it's in Canada....somewhere! Marlene????? Have you seen it?

You made some wonderful memories for all here...both within and outside of the story!

Jill

Such a wonderful song, and it fits so well into this story!!! I'm in Canada and I used to roller-skate growing up... Can't say I've seen any around since in-line skating became all the rage though!

I am filled with indignant outrage! Ugh -- how wearing familes can be at times. I'm glad Myles is creating the kind of family that builds up instead ot tears down.

kav