ANYTHING WILL FIT A NAKED MAN
Part 1
“You,” she snarled through gritted teeth, “are an obstinate, egotistical megalomaniac!”
“And you,” he shot back with equal fervour, “are the quintessential dithering female who can’t make a decision without consulting those two neurotic puff-balls you call your friends!”
“My friends are not puff-balls!”
“So you admit they’re neurotic? And since you’re not protesting your label, I take it you agree with that too.”
Her mouth fell open. She could jolly well make her own decisions, she wasn’t a puff-ball and she certainly didn’t dither! What she was, was out of her mind for falling in love with an egotistical megalomaniac … one she wanted to marry more than anything else in the world, if they could figure out where to have the ceremony, how many people to invite, the colours, the date … they needed more time!
“I do not agree,” she hissed. “I do not dither and I prefer to consider all possibilities before making a decision.”
“When you were considering possibilities, as when you were considering whether or not to marry me, I would’ve called you reflective and cautious. Unfortunately, we’re now past reflecting because we need to make a decision.”
She was losing ground and she knew it. “You refuse to consider alternatives.”
“We’ve had this conversation before; each time with a different venue in mind. Then you chat with those two and suddenly we’re looking at yet another location. My dear, changing the location for the wedding brunch a month before the wedding is not about considering alternatives; it’s asking for a logistical nightmare!”
He was right but darned if she would tell him just yet. “Blinkered.”
“Indecisive.”
“Stubborn.”
“Suicidal.”
She took a very deep breath and went for righteous indignation. “Has anyone ever told you name calling is rude?”
“Might I remind you that you started with the name calling?”
She sighed, calm now. “Perhaps today I did. But you started it from the time we met.”
______________________
Thanks for reading ... part 2 will be up really soon.
Full Version: Anything will fit ... - yhm
RomanceFanFiction.net > The Highlights - A Place To Start > Seasonal/Holiday Challenges > 2006 Seasonal/Holiday Challenges > Fall 2006 Proverbs Challenge
I'm so happy to see another story from you, yhm! Interesting start! Anxious to find out more!
I'm trying to decide who this is!! Oh well, it doesn't matter!! A Yhm story is wonderful no matter who it is!!!
Joy
Joy
very interesting start
cath
cath
Intrigued. When exactly is soon??? 
It's GREAT to see you here with another story yhm!!!
Jen
It's GREAT to see you here with another story yhm!!!Jen
I'm going to hazard a guess that it's Myles and Tara? 
Great to see another one from you yhm.
~Siti~
Great to see another one from you yhm.
~Siti~
QUOTE(suesfan @ Sep 14 2006, 02:33 PM)
I'm trying to decide who this is!! Oh well, it doesn't matter!! A Yhm story is wonderful no matter who it is!!!
Joy
Joy
Here here!!
Thanks for posting another story.
Soph
I can't wait for more!
Part 2
He narrowed his eyes in an exaggerated pose of recollection. “If my memory serves me, and I’m quite well aware it does, I was referring to myself … ‘me, a name I call myself' … that sort of thing.”
“Oh, funny. What was it? ‘SWAT-trained’?”
“I am.”
“ ‘Harvard educated’?”
“Guilty.”
“Something about being ‘Einstein with a gun’?”
“I am what I am.”
“Hmmm … and the definition of ‘ego’ would be?” She had to make her point if she was to concede on the brunch venue.
“You are deliberately displacing context.”
“I’m a writer. Writers sometimes do that.”
“No kidding.”
Nora threw a cushion at him. “Egotistical megalomaniac.”
“Aren’t you tired of saying it yet?”
“Nope.”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine.”
“Arrogant.”
He pretended to whistle.
Her eyes widened in surprise and she had to try one more. “Opinionated.”
Myles bit back his smirk, already recognising her trap. To disagree and protest would be to confirm the very thing. “Hmmm?” he asked innocently instead.
She laughed, then walked over to take his face in her hands. “I love you anyway.”
He looked down his nose at her. “Is that so?”
She smacked him. “Yes.”
He drew himself to his full height and scowled. “Ma’am, you just assaulted a federal officer.”
“We’re getting married!”
Myles made a show of thinking hard. “I could cuff you. But instead, I shall mention in my speech that you proposed.”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Try me. Crimes should never go unpunished.” And he kissed her.
“You are impossible!” She wrapped her arms around him, toppling him onto the cushions.
“I try.” With a twist, he had her under him and he smiled down at her, his hair falling over his eyebrows.
He reclaimed Nora’s mouth before progressing to nibble at an exposed earlobe. When she clutched at his shoulders, whimpering his name, he switched his attention to her other earlobe. “Myles!”
“A rose by any other name,” he murmured.
“You … are not a … rose … more like … a thorn.”
“Really.”
She almost forgot to breathe. “Yes … ummm … prickly.”
He blew lightly into her ear then trailed his lips down her jaw line to the centre of her throat in a series of languid, lazy kisses. He eased his hands out from behind her back, and took his time to slide them in downward spirals over her waist and to her hips, smiling smugly to himself as he felt her tremble.
“If you say so.”
He was encouraging further conversation? Fine. “Bloody … b-barbed.”
“My roses are crimson. Not bloody.”
“I was talking about you. If the shoe fits …”
Where did that come from? And what was the rest of it? She was rapidly disintegrating and running out of coherent thought, much less proverbs. She grabbed fistfuls of his hair.
“And?”
Nora was suddenly inspired. “Then anything will fit a naked man,” she said in a rush, and nodded vigorously.
Myles propped himself up, shifted to accommodate them better, and tried not to laugh. “You’re misquoting and I’m hardly naked.”
She gazed in wonder into clear eyes that shone with adoration and love for her. She hoped she would always retain the privilege and honour of earning that look.
“Your face is baring your soul,” she whispered. “I’d say that counts as naked.”
Myles’ smile was tender. “I’m an open book.”
“I … ummm … I like reading.”
“And writing. I know. So no more changes to the wedding plans?”
“Okay.”
“Finally!”
He could engage in truly unbelievably unfair tactics. “You sneaky - ”
“Calling me some more names?” Myles returned to his explorations at the hollow of her throat.
“If they fit …”
“Right.”
“Under … underhanded.”
“Whatever.”
“Upstairs!”
“That’s not a name but it’ll do.”
END
_____________________
For E.C. - with a lifetime's gratitude and love.
Thank you all for reading.
He narrowed his eyes in an exaggerated pose of recollection. “If my memory serves me, and I’m quite well aware it does, I was referring to myself … ‘me, a name I call myself' … that sort of thing.”
“Oh, funny. What was it? ‘SWAT-trained’?”
“I am.”
“ ‘Harvard educated’?”
“Guilty.”
“Something about being ‘Einstein with a gun’?”
“I am what I am.”
“Hmmm … and the definition of ‘ego’ would be?” She had to make her point if she was to concede on the brunch venue.
“You are deliberately displacing context.”
“I’m a writer. Writers sometimes do that.”
“No kidding.”
Nora threw a cushion at him. “Egotistical megalomaniac.”
“Aren’t you tired of saying it yet?”
“Nope.”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine.”
“Arrogant.”
He pretended to whistle.
Her eyes widened in surprise and she had to try one more. “Opinionated.”
Myles bit back his smirk, already recognising her trap. To disagree and protest would be to confirm the very thing. “Hmmm?” he asked innocently instead.
She laughed, then walked over to take his face in her hands. “I love you anyway.”
He looked down his nose at her. “Is that so?”
She smacked him. “Yes.”
He drew himself to his full height and scowled. “Ma’am, you just assaulted a federal officer.”
“We’re getting married!”
Myles made a show of thinking hard. “I could cuff you. But instead, I shall mention in my speech that you proposed.”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Try me. Crimes should never go unpunished.” And he kissed her.
“You are impossible!” She wrapped her arms around him, toppling him onto the cushions.
“I try.” With a twist, he had her under him and he smiled down at her, his hair falling over his eyebrows.
He reclaimed Nora’s mouth before progressing to nibble at an exposed earlobe. When she clutched at his shoulders, whimpering his name, he switched his attention to her other earlobe. “Myles!”
“A rose by any other name,” he murmured.
“You … are not a … rose … more like … a thorn.”
“Really.”
She almost forgot to breathe. “Yes … ummm … prickly.”
He blew lightly into her ear then trailed his lips down her jaw line to the centre of her throat in a series of languid, lazy kisses. He eased his hands out from behind her back, and took his time to slide them in downward spirals over her waist and to her hips, smiling smugly to himself as he felt her tremble.
“If you say so.”
He was encouraging further conversation? Fine. “Bloody … b-barbed.”
“My roses are crimson. Not bloody.”
“I was talking about you. If the shoe fits …”
Where did that come from? And what was the rest of it? She was rapidly disintegrating and running out of coherent thought, much less proverbs. She grabbed fistfuls of his hair.
“And?”
Nora was suddenly inspired. “Then anything will fit a naked man,” she said in a rush, and nodded vigorously.
Myles propped himself up, shifted to accommodate them better, and tried not to laugh. “You’re misquoting and I’m hardly naked.”
She gazed in wonder into clear eyes that shone with adoration and love for her. She hoped she would always retain the privilege and honour of earning that look.
“Your face is baring your soul,” she whispered. “I’d say that counts as naked.”
Myles’ smile was tender. “I’m an open book.”
“I … ummm … I like reading.”
“And writing. I know. So no more changes to the wedding plans?”
“Okay.”
“Finally!”
He could engage in truly unbelievably unfair tactics. “You sneaky - ”
“Calling me some more names?” Myles returned to his explorations at the hollow of her throat.
“If they fit …”
“Right.”
“Under … underhanded.”
“Whatever.”
“Upstairs!”
“That’s not a name but it’ll do.”
END
_____________________
For E.C. - with a lifetime's gratitude and love.
Thank you all for reading.
This was very good!
thanks,
Terie
thanks,
Terie
Great story!
Love the teasing, and Myles is how I imagine he would be in love, still trying to get the upper hand but conceding where necessary.
Soph
Love the teasing, and Myles is how I imagine he would be in love, still trying to get the upper hand but conceding where necessary.
Soph
myles & norah ?
intersting combination, can just imagine myles like that
cath
intersting combination, can just imagine myles like that
cath
Wow, yhm, that was simply wonderful. I'm so glad you decided to add in another entry. The pairing of Myles and Nora were certainly unexpected but nonetheless romantic. 
Okay, I was half right. 
But that was one nice fuzzy humor. Or humorously fuzzy?
Great story!
~Siti~
But that was one nice fuzzy humor. Or humorously fuzzy?
Great story!
~Siti~
Great ,yhm, I loved all the bantering, very fitting for Myles...
QUOTE(MelissaT @ Sep 15 2006, 03:06 AM)
Wow, yhm, that was simply wonderful. I'm so glad you decided to add in another entry. The pairing of Myles and Nora were certainly unexpected but nonetheless romantic.
Ditto Wonderful writing, yhm!
Thanks for sharing!
What a wonderful piece of writing! The banter and conversation flowed well and it was smooth as silk to read. Without naming names, you drew me in to the 'plot' and held me there with excellent wit and style.
Great stuff!
Great stuff!
Yhm, this is absolutely delightful!! I loved Nora in the series and this is exactly how I would expect her to act!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Joy
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Joy
How about fussour? You've created a new genre in fanfiction -- fuzzie and humourous all roled into one! 
And very witty -- loved how you tied in the proverb.
kav
And very witty -- loved how you tied in the proverb.kav
That is so funny, I can so see Myles and Nora saying that! 
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