Title: The 25 Days of Christmas

Wednesday, December 1, 2004

Bobby sat at his desk, trying to avoid looking at the paper in front of him. It had been a month since the breakup, but he still couldn’t see or hear Darcy’s name without getting this sick feeling to his stomach. He felt like he was this walking ticking bomb, waiting to detonate. The guys tiptoed around him and he had to admit he’d be tempted to do it too if he could find a way to achieve it. The only one who kept acting the same around him was Levi – which said a lot.

You gutless bastard, just read the paper and be done with it.

He picked up the paper and turned it to Darcy’s chronicle : The story behind the story. Her picture jumped at him and grabbed him by the throat, choking him.

My God, she’s so beautiful.

He started reading.

The shadow of Christmas past…
By Darcy D’Angelo

It’s the season to be jolly yet again, but I just can’t bring myself to feel anything resembling happiness this year. Is Christmas supposed to erase all your problems and make you cheery and joyful? Is it supposed to atone for all the screw ups that litter your life and drag you down?

For a long time, I thought Christmas was a commercial heaven, something invented to make merchants richer and the ordinary folk poorer. Christmas, the mercantile holiday. Then someone came along and tried to tell me that Christmas was the season for hope. Hope that tomorrow would be better than yesterday, hope that things would work out fine in the end. Hope that all your dreams would come true.

It held a certain appeal to believe that so I let myself be convinced. I dared hope against hopes, I dared to trust against all odds. After all, being an investigative reporter means being open to new situations and to explore new angles to get to the heart of the matter, to get to the truth.

Well, the truth is that there is no such thing as Christmas being a time for hope. Why? Because there is no such thing as hopes working out and coming true. Goodwill towards men and women alike… I’d settle for just some will from certain men and women, some responsibility towards their actions and some reaction to move forward. Then maybe I’d have some more trust in mankind.

No, Christmas in my book is a fool’s illusion to make you believe everything can be right with the world again, when the truth is that this world is far from rightness or from being well. We live in a time and place where ‘one for all and all for one’ has been replaced by ‘alone I stand on top of the world’.

Bobby stopped reading there, not going into the economical statistics related to Christmas that were displayed for all the world to see, for all the cynics to gloat over.

He took the paper, folded it in half and dropped it in his trash can, right along with any hopes of reconciliation his foolish heart might have harbored. Darcy D’Angelo had just written a piece to make sure he understood she was ridding herself of him. She preferred returning to her cynical view of the world and to move forward, alone.

Is it supposed to atone to all the screw ups who litter your life… I’d settle for some will from certain men… some responsibility towards their actions and some reaction to move forward…

Those words were etched on his brain, like so many sharp knives thrust at his tender heart. That foolish heart that had dared to hope against all hopes that love existed for him out there.

But he refused to become like the Darcys of the world. No, Christmas was magic and he’d be damned if he’d let her destroy this for him.

Thursday, December 2, 2004

“Here, I got you your very own box of donuts so we can have hope to eat some ourselves”, said Myles, placing 12 glazed donuts on Bobby’s desk.

Bobby looked at the donuts and at Myles, unable to deal with the pity he saw in his colleague’s eyes. It was the same pity he saw in everyone’s eyes. Even his landlord seemed to have that look when he talked to him.

Poor bastard. He got dumped and the sheila stomped all over him in a bloody newspaper article.

He could hear the words as clearly as if they would say it to his face.

“Thanks mate, but I’m not hungry. You guys can eat those”, he said, turning his attention back to the paperwork littering his desk.

Myles looked worriedly at Tara, silently asking for help. She shrugged and shook her head, mouthing the words ‘leave him alone’.

Jack walked in, carrying several folders.

“Okay, listen up people, we got a new case. We’ll be working closely with the DEA on that one so I invited the case liaison to come over. You all remember Scott?”

Everyone nodded at Scott, waiting for more details on the case.

Bobby leaned back in his chair, twirling a pen between his fingers and assuming a bored look, which admittedly was not so far off from the truth. He just couldn’t muster interest for anything much these days.

“Our office has been tracking an organization that ships drugs into the US from Columbia for some time now. We had never been able to catch them in the act before so we kept everything covert. We were able a few months back to get one of our guy on the inside. As you can imagine, it took some time for him to become trusted enough to be let in on some of the scams.”

Jack looked at Bobby, noting his absent look and his lack of attention. He knew he’d have to have a talk with him about that. He understood that he was feeling heartbroken and downtrodden, but as Team Leader, it was his responsibility to insure his entire team was on top of their game. And Bobby Manning was not anywhere near the top right now…

“We have reason to believe that this organization – TFT – plans to use toys to smuggle drugs on US soil. Though TFT originally stands for Tijuana Francisco Trade, they have started to refer to their operation as Toys for Tots lately.”

Now THAT got Bobby’s attention. Christmas was the time for hopes, but also a period where a whole lot of toys were bought. And some screwups were using the opportunity to bring destruction to their doorstep.

“We have asked for a light press coverage for this mission, someone who is known to dig behind stories and get to the heart of the matter, someone who could help us get further…”

A sense of foreboding came over Bobby.

Certainly fate wouldn't be that cruel…

“Miss Darcy D’Angelo will be assisting the DEA and the FBI.”

Every set of eyes in the room turned to Bobby as his chair clattered to the floor.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Who put you up to this?”

Scott looked puzzled and glanced at Jack, wondering if the guy was suffering a paranoid episode of some sort.

Jack looked at Bobby and spoke calmly.

“Crash, we’ll discuss this you and me. We’ll make sure you don’t have to work closely with Darcy.”

Bobby stalked across the bullpen and stood in Jack’s face.

“It’s not good enough Sparky. Make sure I don’t have to work with her at all. I’m done with Darcy D’Angelo.”

“Well, that’s a good thing because Darcy D’Angelo is also done with you Special Agent Manning”, came a cool reply from the door as Darcy walked in.

Friday, December 3, 2004

Bobby entered Garrett’s office and closed the door behind him. He walked to the chair and took a seat.

“You wanted to see me?”

Ted looked at a single letter in his hand, reading it before looking up at Bobby, waving the letter.

“This is about your request. It is highly unorthodox, Bobby.”

“I need personal time. I can’t deal with everything in my life right now, not with Darcy D’Angelo working with us on this case.

“Bobby, I know you two have personal history, but that’s not reason enough to grant you 30 days of leave. You already took your vacation this year and I can’t warrant you your request.”

“What about assigning me to another case then?”

Garrett was shaking his head before his sentence was even finished.

“Your entire team is assigned to this case, and you know as well as I do that we don’t mix teams. This is only asking for trouble.”

Bobby’s expression was thunderous as he pushed up from the chair, stalking the width of the office.

“Then what am I supposed to do? Work with her?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t! I just can’t. She’d drive a sane man straight to the funny farm, and no one’s ever accused me of being sane to begin with.”

“I’m sorry Bobby. The best I can do is grant you 5 days. We’ll take those from your sick leaves. But that’s the absolute best I can offer you.”

“I’ll take it. I need out, Ted.”

“You know, the best thing for you might be to stand up to her and talk this out. You live and work in the same city, at jobs that pushed you together in the first place. This is bound to happen again… so you’ll have to work this out sooner or later.”

“I’ll take later… much later.”

Ted looked at Bobby, noting the dark shadows under his eyes. It’s not that he didn’t understand where Manning was coming from, he could empathize with his pain. But he had an office to run, and there was no place for sentimentality in the FBI. Manning was a fine agent, a little too hot-headed at times, but a fine agent all the same. And they needed all their best agents right now to stop this traffic before innocents got hurt.

“Your leave will be effective starting Monday. Take the time to sort through your affairs and come to terms with the situation. Because when you come back on the 13th, I want you back to your old self. I’ve let you off the hook for the past month, but that won’t work when you’re back, Manning. If you can’t figure something out, you find yourself in the very possible situation of losing your job… Do I make myself clear?”

“Absolutely crystal clear, sir”, said Bobby in a strained angry tone.

“Good. You’re dismissed.”

Bobby left the office, carefully closing the door after himself when all he felt like doing was slamming it shut so their heard it all the way across the building.

What was I thinking to start this thing with her? I should have run at the first clue…

And what would have that first clue been? When she failed to fall for his charm? Or when she made him out to be this laughing stock in her paper by saying he condoned invasion of privacy?

Bobby groaned, disgusted with himself and with his life.

Just another mistake in a long list of them…

Saturday, December 4, 2004

Bobby woke up to incessant pounding. The trouble was he couldn’t decide if it was all in his head or at his door. He’d definitely drunk way too much last night and now it felt as though his skull was trying to split open.

“Crash, open up!”

Okay, so it wasn’t just my head after all.

He tried to push himself up from the bed by using his mattress as leverage, but his hand only encountered thin air and he fell off the couch in a resounding… well, crash for lack of a better word.

The pounding at the door intensified, soon joined by barking.

“Bobby, are you okay? Open the damn door or I’m kicking it in”, came Jack’s muffled threat through the oak paneling.

“Hold your bloody horses, mate... I’m coming”, groaned Bobby as he picked himself off the floor, taking a minute to get his bearing and bring the doors into focus.

Since when have I got two doors?

The two doors turned into one as his mind cleared up a bit and he gingerly made his way towards it, trying not to bump into anything. The trek from his couch to his door, which usually took him all of 10 seconds to make had turned into a 2 minutes ordeal by the time he reached it and unlocked it.

He turned to make his way back to the couch, knowing Jack would let himself in. He didn’t even have to wait.

“What the heck happened to you? Are you alright, buddy?” worriedly asked Jack as he came in followed by Sue and Levi.

Bobby winced as echoes of Jack’s voice rang through his achy brain.

“Do you have to shout? I’m right here…”

Jack narrowed his eyes and looked more closely at Bobby. Just then, Levi hit something with his paw and sent it sailing across the floor, straight at Jack’s feet. He looked down and noticed an empty bottle of Jack Daniels.

“What are you trying to do? Turn into an alcoholic?”

Bobby’s head snapped up, a very bad move considering his head started spinning like a mad carousel on a destruction course. He started swaying and would have fallen if Jack hadn’t rushed forward to steady him.

“Nah, I’m just a gambler remember?” he muttered under his breath, his green eyes bleary and dead.

Jack turned to Sue, worried that she had been able to read Bobby’s lips and had learned his secret. He let out a relieved sigh when he saw her eyes were averted and taking in their messy surroundings.

“Bobby, this can’t go on like this. You have to get a hold of yourself and get over Darcy… this is destroying you, man.”

“Don’t you think I know it? But I can’t forget it’s about this time last year that I met her. And it feels like history is moving backwards until we all return to a previous state of affairs. She’s going back to being this cynical cold-hearted reporter, and I’m going back to being plain screwed up, good for nothing Manning.”

“That’s not true Bobby, that’s not how I see you or know you to be”, said Sue who had caught on the last part of his tirade.

“Listen to Sue, pal. That’s not who you are and you know it. You’re a good and decent guy.”

“Yeah sure, whatever. If I’m such a good guy, then how come Darcy dumped me like a dirty sock? No, don’t answer that. My God, when did I turn into this whining loser?”

Jack shared a weary look with Sue. He didn’t know what to say to his best friend and only seemed to be making things worse for him. He wasn’t able to reach him under that thick layer of hurt and misery, no matter how much he wanted to.

Levi brushed past Jack and used his muzzle to push against Bobby’s hand, asking for a caress or a pat. He let out a small whine as he waited, tail wagging with impatience.

Bobby looked down at Levi and patted him on the head absent-mindedly. He then moved away from Jack and went to the couch where he sat down, holding his head in his hands to try and contain the noise inside his brain.

Levi was not deterred and ambled towards Bobby again, letting out another small whimpering sound as he approached him. He sat down on his haunches and looked at Bobby with sad brown eyes, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

Bobby looked back at Levi and felt his eyes water. He coughed and blinked back the tears, not wanting anyone to see him do his crying.

He’s just a dog, it’s not like he understands what you’re going through and shares your pain. You’re losing it, Manning.

Levi moved forward until he was close enough to Bobby to lick his face. But what he did instead was lay his head on Bobby’s knees, looking up at him with those eyes that seemed to say ‘I’ve been where you are now, you’re not alone’.

Sue looked at Levi, then at Jack, her brows furrowed. She had never seen Levi act that way with anyone but her. It was as if he was trying to comfort Bobby.

Both Jack and her turned in time to see Bobby throw his arms around Levi and burry his face in the thick fur at his neck. But only Jack heard the muffled sound his friend made as he cried.

Sunday, December 5, 2004

“Okay, tell me again why you got me out of bed at 7am on a Sunday?” asked Bobby, looking at the passing signs on the highway.

Lucy glanced at him out of the corner of her eye before returning her attention to the road. Her perpetual smile was of course pasted on her lips.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you”, she joked, hoping this outing would cheer Bobby up. She missed Mister Spunky Agent and his devilish sense of humor.

“Well, now there’s something to look forward to, sheila.”

“This is a joke, right?” said Lucy, her attention divided between the road and the sullen man at her side.

Bobby smiled at her, but the dimples failed to appear and his eyes never lit up with the wicked gleam that usually shone there.

“Of course it’s a joke. You know me, never a dull moment.”

Lucy spent a long moment debating whether or not to broach the subject of his nasty breakup and what she and Donna had heard through the wall. In fact, she was silent for so long that Bobby turned on his seat and faced her, his back to the passenger window.

“Okay sheila, what’s on your mind?”

Lucy gripped the steering wheel tighter and took a deep breath, casting a quick glance at Bobby and noting the tension on his face.

“The night of the party, when you went into my room with Darcy… Sue, me and Donna had to go into Sue’s room because of Tara and Stanley”, she began, searching for the best way to say this.

“Okay…” carefully said Bobby, his eyes not missing anything.

“And well, I guess we never knew how thin those walls really were until we heard you arguing…”

Bobby’s expression shuttered as realization dawned on him. He replayed the scene and shuddered as some of the things that had been said that night flew through his mind.

You’re great to look at, you’re fun to party with… but you’re a not a nice person to BE with… can I help it if I wonder how long it will be before you gamble again and lose everything…

He closed his eyes and swore softly.

“How much did you hear?”

Lucy was tempted to lie and say they had not heard much, but then Bobby would not be able to open up and let go of the things he kept bottled up inside. Then again, he may never do that even with the truth hanging out there.

“How much did you hear Lucy?”

“Everything…” she said in a minuscule voice.

She sat there in silence as Bobby let out a string of curses that would have made a sailor blush.

“Bobby, that doesn’t change anything…”

“Like heck it doesn’t change anything! Tell me you have not looked at me with pity in your eyes since the party…”

His own words registered and he stopped short, looking at Lucy with wide eyes.

“You told everyone, huh? That’s why everyone’s been looking at me like I’m the poor schmuck who’s been tossed off… the one who’s got a gambling problem.”

“Bobby, no! Me and Donna didn’t tell a soul. It’s no one’s business but your own. I’m sorry we even heard about it without you deciding to let us know…”

Bobby remained silent until Lucy took the exit she had intended all along.

“New York? Why are we coming to New York?”

“Because you love Christmas and New York has the Rockefeller tree… and I thought that would put you in the spirit a lot more than looking at the four walls of your apartment.”

Bobby gaped at her, trying to come to terms with the fact Lucy – who had to work in the morning – had gotten up early on one of her few days off, because he, Bobby, loved Christmas and she wanted to cheer him up. The selfsame Lucy who knew he had a gambling problem and knew all that had gone on between him and Darcy. And she was not steering clear of him or judging him. No, she was going out of her way to… be a friend.

Have I lost touch with the real world so much that I forgot I had friends?

“I… I don’t know what to say, sheila.”

Lucy smiled, her expression gentle as she looked at him.

“You don’t have to say anything. What are friends for if not to lean on one another and support one another in times of crisis? You’re really not alone in this Bobby and we’re all there, waiting to help you… if you’ll just let us.”

Bobby was shaken to the core.

A man’s worth is never measured by how many enemies he has, but by how many TRUE friends he has.

His step-dad’s words sprang to mind and for the first time in a month, Bobby saw light at the end of the dark tunnel.

Monday, December 6, 2004

Bobby woke up at 10am, something of a rare occurrence in his line of work. Daylight streamed through the window and fell across his bed, catching dust particles in the air and making them shine like tiny stars.

He sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He stretched and yawned before flipping the covers back and putting both feet on the floor. One foot hit its intended target, but the other landed in something gooey.

“Ewwwww, what the bloody heck…?”

Bobby raised his foot and saw strings of cheese and some pepperoni sticking to his toes.

“Well, I guess I won’t be eating that for breakfast”, he said matter-of-factly, not feeling the least bit weird for talking out loud to himself.

He was reluctant to put his foot down and make a mess, although he wasn’t sure how much more damage he could do if he looked closely enough.

What a pigsty! That will take me the whole week to clean up.

He picked a dirty jersey from the floor and wiped his foot clean on it.

There. Now I can walk.

He got up, feeling relaxed and a lot more like his old self, all thanks to Lucy and the long talk they’d had on the way home.

She had been right, seeing the Rockefeller tree and being surrounded by all those people who believed in Christmas and its magic had lifted his spirits with a lot more success than the Jack Daniels.

Oh, he was not out of the woods yet. If there was one thing he knew, it was not to lie to himself. He was a long way from being over Darcy, but he had taken his first baby step towards recovery… a long recovery by the look of things.

Bobby picked up dirty clothes on his way to the bathroom and dumped those in the hamper. Entering the bathroom, he looked at himself in the vanity mirror, noticing the dark circles under his eyes and the limp hair, not to mention the growing beard.

“Well, you’re rather scary this morning, mate. Time to get out of the funk and get back to being sexy, charming Bobby Manning. The man of steel himself.”

He winked at his reflection and turned on the faucet, picking up his shaving kit from the shelf. He whistled as he went to work, shedding not only the beard, but a month’s worth of self-misery.

When he was done, he stepped into the shower, intending to clear more than just the cobwebs of sleep. And while he didn’t exactly sing as had once been his style, he at least didn’t cry either, which was a clear improvement over the last few weeks.

He left the shower stall and toweled himself dry, feeling rejuvenated and finding himself whistling Christmas carols. He dressed up in gym cutoffs and a t-shirt and set to work on straightening the place out.

The hours sped by quickly as his place took on a livable air again: the trash was taken out, the place was dusted, vacuumed and aired. The only time he really took a break from his self-appointed task was to order takeout and eat it.

It was approaching 5 o’clock when he finally put away the last of the dishes. He moved to the couch and sat down wearily - a nice way of describing the way he slouched there - with a contented smile on his face.

He rolled his eyes when there was a knock at his door.

“It figures that it would wait for me to finally sit down to relax… they couldn’t come 5 seconds earlier when I was still up…” he complained as he got up, groaning in pain.

He made his way to the door and opened it, stepping aside quickly when Jack pushed past him, his arms loaded with bags. Sue followed him with Levi and Lucy. Both held a bowl in their hands and smiled at him as they followed Jack to his kitchen. He was about to close the door when Tara and Myles walked up with a… tree?

What the heck is going on here?

Bobby craned his neck to look into the hallway after Myles and Tara went to the corner of his living room and deposited the tree there. Sue enough, D and Donna were walking up to his door with a handful of CDs.

“You’re looking better, man” said Dimitrius as he walked past him to join the others.

Bobby dared another glance in the hallway before closing the door. For a minute there, he had been afraid Ted Garrett would walk up to his apartment as well!

“Will anyone please tell me what is going on? What are you all doing here?”

“We’re here to help you decorate your place of course.” said Jack, as if it was the most normal thing on Earth.

“Oh well, of course. Why didn’t I figure that out with the tree?” snickered Bobby with a crooked half-smile.

Sue and Lucy looked at one another and shared their relief.

Crash was back!

Tuesday, December 7, 2004

On his second day off, Bobby realized something he had overlooked: he may not have been ready to face Darcy, but now he was left wondering what to do with his days thanks to the time off he had asked for and gotten.

Always lucky that Garrett refused to grant me 30 days or they’d have thrown me in the funny farm and lost the key.

He picked up the remote control and flipped through the channels until he happened on a morning show that caught his interest. Oh, it wasn’t the fact it was a morning show and that Kelly Rippa was hosting it that got his attention. No, it was the subject they were discussing.

He sat down on his couch and watched as the hosts recalled the ordeal a 7 year old little girl was facing after losing both her parents in a terrible car accident. That little girl – Shasha – was still in the hospital, hanging between life and death, with no family to call her own. That was the most heart-breaking part of the story to him: that little girl was totally, completely alone in the world. No parents, no uncles or aunts, no grandparents… no one.

“A trust found has been set up for little Shasha. You can call the number on your screen for donations. As well, the George Washington University Hospital, in Washington D.C. is holding a blood drive in hope of helping more people like this little girl.”

“Well, what do you know. I happen to have a lot of time to give lately. I think I just found myself a place to be after all.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The little kids squealed when they saw Santa enter the pediatrics wing with his bag of toys and his jolly Oh! Oh! Oh! They didn’t care that this was not Christmas yet, to them, it was just one of those magical events that only happen once in a while if you’ve been pretty good. And the doctors always told them to be good if they wanted to get better…

The nurses and doctors watched with a smile as Santa visited with each and every kid in the ward, sharing a smile and kind words, leaving a small gift behind. They knew most of those toys were donated to the fire station, but that this man had taken the time to dress up and hand-deliver them probably made the toy he left behind even more special to their new little owner.

Santa walked to the nurse station and smiled at the nurse on duty, his green eyes shining and his face youthful and relaxed beneath the false white beard.

“Would it be at all possible to be let in to see little Shasha? I have a special gift just for her.”

The nurse shook her head sadly.

“That won’t be possible, she’s in the kids ICU because of the extent and severity of her injuries. Only hospital personnel and family members are admitted there.”

“Aw come on, you know as well as I do that that little girl has no family left. I am sure it would give her something to fight for to have some of the magic of Christmas surround her.”

He looked in his big red pouch and took out a small decorated desk tree.

“I wanted to put that on her bedside table so it’s one of the first things she sees when she wakes up”, he said with the cutest accent and the most heartfelt sincerity.

The nurse looked up as a doctor placed a chart on the station. Bobby looked at the man.

Caught in the act, red-handed.

“He’s right, Mandy. I guess we can bend the rule this one time… for Santa. If you’ll follow me. You won’t be able to stay for long though.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

The doctor led the way, with Bobby at his side.

“No, thank you. You’ve just made those children happy and believe in miracles. The human spirit is a wonderful thing. It can carry you through most anything. But just as the body needs nourishment, so does the spirit.”

The doctor stopped in front of a closed door and turned to Bobby, his hand on the handle.

“You lifted their spirits and gave some of them a fighting chance. And I’m hoping you can accomplish that with Shasha, because that little girl has so much to overcome when she wakes up.”

He opened the door and motioned for Bobby to enter.

“I’ll give you 5 minutes.”

Bobby thanked him and walked further into the room, his eyes moving to the small form in the middle of the bed, hooked up to all those tubes and monitors. She had black hair that curled wildly around her and her little face appeared so pale under the bruises…

He placed the tree on the desk, rearranged a few ornaments and placed a small wrapped gift under it. Turning to the bed, he pulled a chair and sat down, his big hand covering Shasha’s.

His eyes misted over at how still she was, how lifeless. You expected 7 year-old kids to be out running, having fun, marveling at life and the season, not fighting for their life in an ICU hospital room.

“Hey, little sheila. I know you can hear me even if you can’t wake up at the moment. I just wanted to let you know that there are people out there waiting to love you so much. I know it’s going to be scary without your mom and dad out there, and you’re probably going to be so mad that God took them away from you. But I have a friend, her name is Sue, who says that God only throws at us what he knows we can handle, that everything happens for a reason in the grand scheme of things.”

He looked at the heart-rate monitor, seeing all the little spikes and the little beating heart in the corner.

“That may not sound like much when you hear that… in fact it’s downright hard to understand and to accept, but I know you’ll find a new family that will love you and make you feel safe. They’ll never replace your parents, but maybe they can give you something else you didn’t know you were missing.”

The door opened silently and the doctor waited for Bobby to wrap up, signaling his 5 minutes were over.

“You’ve got to wake up Shasha, because Santa and his little helpers would really be sad if they lost you so soon. So you rest now, and you wake up when you feel like it okay?”

He got up and pushed the chair back, walking once more towards the bed and, acting on impulse, he bent down over Shasha and softly kissed her forehead.

“Merry Christmas, Shasha.”

The beeps on the monitor came more quickly and Bobby looked up alarmingly, wondering what he had done, moving out of the way so medical personnel could attend to the little girl.

The doctor was looking at the monitor, a strange expression on his face. He walked into the room, picked up the chart at the foot of the bed and looked it over before walking to the monitor and checking a few things there.

Bobby saw a relieved smile spread on his lips as he turned towards him.

“Well Santa, I believe we just witnessed a miracle here: Shasha’s vital signs are stabilizing… thanks to you.”

Bobby closed in eyes in a silent prayer. When he opened them next, he looked at Shasha and then the doctor.

“I didn’t do anything. It was the magic in the air.”

And he just turned and left.

Wednesday, December 8, 2004

Bobby got out of the elevator on the pediatrics floor, holding a small teddy bear in his big hands. He looked around, hoping to see the doctor that had been so helpful to him the day before. Of course he didn’t see him, but he did see the nurse that had been on duty.

What was her name, again? Mandy!

He walked to the nurse station, smiling down at kids as he passed them. When he reached the station, he leaned down on the counter, placing the teddy bear straight beside him.

“I’m wondering if you could help me, Mandy. You see…”, he looked around and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial tone, “I’m Santa, gone undercover. So I had to get a brand-new disguise and I was wondering if you could help me visit with Shasha again.”

The nurse looked at him, a grin spreading on her lips at his far-fetched explanation. By the time he was done, she was laughing.

“That has to be the most creative line I’ve been fed, ever. And God knows I get a lot of those.”

Bobby examined her from head to… counter. He could see why she would attract the attention. The woman was a living, breathing line magnet. She had blond hair, baby blue eyes and had enough curves to warrant getting her very own road sign.

“Yeah, I bet you do, sheila. So, how about Shasha? Do you think there is any chance that doctor is about today and willing to bend the rules once more on my account?”

“Doctor Chandler is not on duty today, but I think he must have been on the same wavelength as you because he made special arrangements to get you to see Shasha.”

Mandy walked to a shelf and picked up a form. She grabbed a pen and came back to him, offering him both.

“You need to fill this form up, the doctor already signed it so you can get to see her today. It’s a visitation rights form, especially made for civil servants.”

Bobby raised an eyebrow at that, looking puzzled.

“We both figured you had to have an in with the Fire Department to have gotten those gifts you distributed to the kids yesterday. We took a small bet: I said you were a firefighter, Chris.. I mean doctor Chandler said you had to be a cop. So which one is it?”

Bobby grinned, trying not to dwell on the gambling part. He had a problem, not everyone else around him.

“Neither. I’m an FBI agent. But I used to be a cop, years ago.”

“Damn, so I guess we both lost. You’re really an FBI agent?”

“Yup, honest to goodness.”

“Well then I guess you are the safest person for Shasha to be around, other than doctors of course.”

Bobby smiled at her, pretending not to see the interest that had crept in her eyes at the mention of his job. He got that all the time, as if he were a badge before being a man.

He bent his head and started filling the paperwork, anxious to go see the little lonely girl in room 6159. When he was finished, he pushed the form towards Mandy and gave her back the pen.

“Now what? Do I have to wait for administrative clearance or can I just go?”

The nurse stamped the form and gave him a copy.

“You need to keep this with you, just in case someone tells you you cannot be there. Just flash this around, pretty much like you would do your badge, and this will get you in. And that’s it. You can go and see her now.”

“Thank you. And please thank doctor Chandler as well.”

Mandy had a strange, beautiful smile on her face as she nodded.

“Oh, he knows... but I’ll tell him all the same, agent Manning.”

Now, that was strange…

Bobby picked up the teddy bear and made his way to the pediatrics ICU, stopping at Shasha’s door to compose himself. When he felt the smile on his lips firmly in place, he pushed the door and entered the room.

The first thing he noticed was that Shasha looked peaceful, as if she were sleeping instead of unconscious; and it must have been a restful sleep judging by the colors on her little angular face.

Walking to the chair he had occupied the day before, he pulled it up to the bed again before moving to Shasha, the bear tucked in the crook of his arm.

“Hey, little sheila. I see you are doing better. That’s good, that will make a lot of people happy when you finally open your eyes. Speaking of which, I brought you a new friend, so you’re not so alone when you wake up.”

Bobby gently raised her little arm until he could tuck the bear against her small body, wrapping her arm around it.

“He doesn’t have a name yet because I thought since he was yours, you should get to name him. I guess until then, he’ll be known as Mister Bear to everyone else.”

Bobby finally sat down, touching Shasha in her sleep, a contact that he needed probably just as much as she did… if not more. To touch something so pure and innocent, that was something he didn’t get to do often while working his cases. None of them got to do much of that, aside from Jack that is. Because Jack got to touch Sue and be touched by her, and if there was such a thing as a gentle soul, Sue Thomas had to be the embodiment of the word.

He talked to Shasha, telling her about Levi and the rest of the team, telling her Christmas stories he remembered his mom and Lyle reciting to him at night. He felt a sense of peace envelop him as the hour passed and turned into another.

He was in the middle of a new story when he felt Shasha’s fingers move. He stopped mid-sentence and looked up into her face, seeing her eyes opened on him.

She had fathomless black eyes, eyes that seemed to have lived through centuries, not mere years. Her little face was serious and concentrated as she studied him.

“You don’t look like any Santa I know”, were the first words that left her mouth. Her voice was thin and croaked because of the lack of moisture in her throat, but it rang like celestial music to Bobby’s ears.

He smiled at her, raising up to put some water and ice in a glass with a straw. He moved to the head of the bed and gently arranged the pillows so it would be easier for her to sip. He held the straw to her lips and watched her take a few sips before he answered.

“That’s because I’m on a mission. And everyone would look at me if I were wearing my beard and costume. So I got this disguise. Pretty good disguise too, wouldn’t you say?”

Shasha looked at him seriously, as if the question warranted careful reflection.

“It works”, she finally said, nodding her approval.

Bobby grinned at that, suddenly thinking he should tell the medical staff she had regained consciousness. He pressed the button on the headboard and waited for a tin can voice to come on, asking him what he needed.

“Shasha just woke up. I thought you might like to know that.”

Thursday, December 9, 2004

“Good morning, agent Manning. You’re early today”, said Mandy as he walked out of the elevator.

“Tell me Mandy, are you always on duty or something? I see you every single day, no matter what time I come over. You gotta tell your bosses they’re overworking you, sheila.”

Mandy laughed and shook her blond hair.

“What can I say? I love my job. Those kids are so great to be around.”

Bobby thought of the reason he had come to the hospital for the past three days, and he had to admit he agreed wholeheartedly with her.

“So how’s our little trooper?”

“She’s been moved out of the ICU into her own room. You’ll find her in 6789, probably talking to that bear you gave her.”

Bobby thanked her and walked to the end of the corridor, where he knew the room would be. He was about to turn into the next one when he heard barking. He stopped in his tracks, just knowing who he’d find when he turned around. After all, how many dogs were accepted into hospitals?

He turned and, sure enough, there were Jack and Sue, along with Levi.

“Bobby, what are you doing here?” asked Sue.

“Well fancy that, I was just about to ask you the same, sheila. I’m here to see a friend actually. How about you, Sparky?”

“We’re here because of the case. Someone gave toys to the children, and some of them were stuffed with something else than synthetic stuffing.”

Bobby’s eyes took on a fierce expression.

“What do we know about the guy who brought the gifts?”

“Only that he came around 2 days ago, dressed up as Santa and gave away toys to every kid in the ward.”

Bobby’s expression had turned from fierce to shocked when he realized he was the guy Jack was talking about.

“There’s gotta be a mistake mate. I was the guy dressed up as Santa and I got those toys from the Fire Station. How in heck would those toys have found their way there?”

Jack looked at him, gaping.

“You. You dressed up as Santa? Well, I don’t have to wonder now what you do with your days…”

“Well, I’d had been a lot more worried if he admitted he had dressed up as the Tooth Fairy”, chipped in Sue.

The both laughed and Bobby shook his head, looking at his watch.

“That’s it guys, you laugh it up. In the meantime, I have somewhere else to be. Somewhere you are not, I might hope… because this would mean involving Shasha in this case.”

“Who?” asked Sue, frowning in concentration.

“Who’s Shasha?” asked Jack at the same time.

Bobby grinned at both of them, his green eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Wouldn’t you just love to know huh? Well, I’ll tell you this much. She is this great raven-haired beauty I’ve been seeing for the past 3 days.”

Sue looked at him closely.

That explains the sparkle in his eyes again. He’s in love!

Jack wasn’t as careful with his thoughts though. He grinned like a fool and hit Bobby on the shoulder in this male bonding way that still puzzled Sue.

“Way to go hotshot! So, this Shasha works here? When do we get to meet her?”

Bobby had to refrain from laughing. It was just so much fun to tease those two.

“She doesn’t exactly work here, no. And as for meeting her, I’m afraid you’d scare her away, mate. Maybe some other time though. But right now, I gotta go meet her, so you guys have fun with this case. I’ll be back in the office on Monday.”

And he turned quickly to walk off before he gave himself away, feeling the smile fight to come to the surface. Bobby knew they were looking at him as he turned the corner and headed for the mysterious Shasha.

Jack looked at Sue and grinned. She smiled back at him.

“Our Bobby is back in the market. Can’t wait to see Darcy’s face when she realizes he is way over her and it seeing someone else.”

“Jack, stop being so mean. She didn’t do anything to you.”

Jack’s smile turned to a glower.

“What she does to Bobby, she does to me. He’s my best friend and I watched him go through the ringer for her. You really think I wouldn’t want a piece of her for that?”

“I’ve never seen you to be this angry before.”

“I’ve been angry before, maybe I just didn’t let is show, Sue. Everyone has to change eventually…”

Sue watched him as he turned to go into their first little victim’s room, his last words playing through her mind.

Was there a message for me in there? What did Jack mean?

Friday, December 10, 2004

“Jack, what are we doing here? We interviewed all the victims yesterday and the doctors and nurses… And we know who Santa was so why aren’t we off looking at the Fire Station to see who donated those gifts?”

Jack kept on walking down the hospital hall until he reached the row of elevators. He pressed the up button and waited for a car to arrive.

“Because D and Myles are checking the Station.”

“You still haven’t answered my question. Why are we here?” asked Sue again as she followed him into the elevator, pulling Levi behind her on his leash.

“We’re here to find out who Bobby’s Shasha is, that’s all.”

“Oh no, Jack! What’s with you lately? Bobby is big enough to have his private life. How would you like it if he went around snooping into your love life?”

“What love life? I don’t have a love life, Sue so he couldn’t very well snoop. I haven’t had a date since… heck, it’s been so long I can’t even remember when was the last date I had.”

“August 13, 2004.” said Sue without thinking.

“What?”

Jack realized he would not get an answer because Sue was suddenly busy looking at the digits on the elevator, pretending not to have heard his honest question. So he moved in front of her, his mind still reeling with the possibilities.

“What did you say?”

Sue looked at him, trying to hide the blush she felt creeping up her neck and cheeks.

When will I learn to think before I speak?

“Oh look, we’re on the 6th floor. So who would know who Shasha is if she doesn’t exactly work here?”

“You are not getting away with it this easy. I still want my answer, Sue Thomas.”

“Who said we always get what we want?” asked Sue with an angelic smile as she left the elevator car and moved down the hall towards the nurses desk.

“Women…”

“Yeah, I know. I never could understand them either”, said an elderly doctor who seemed to have materialized out of nowhere. Jack read his nametag, more out of habit than anything: Dr. Chandler.

“Just great, so what you’re telling me basically is that I better resign myself to a life spent in utter puzzlement?”

Doctor Chandler started laughing, a belly laugh any Santa impersonator would have been proud of. Come to think of it, the more he looked at Dr Chandler, the more Jack thought he resembled Santa.

Kids must love him!

“I’ve been married for what seems like forever, and though the Lord knows I love my wife, I still cannot understand her most days. But there are worse things in this world. I could NOT have my wife.”

Jack looked at Sue, unaware of the longing in his eyes.

Boy, can I relate to that one!

“Say Doc, would you happen to know a Shasha by any chance?” asked Jack as he turned back to the elderly doctor… and found only an empty space.

“Where did he go so fast?”

Jack looked around but doctor Chandler was nowhere to be seen in the near vicinity.

“Jack, I think I’ve found Shasha”, said Sue from the nurses desk, wondering what he was doing still standing by the elevators.

She watched him walk towards her, still recalling how she had just about blabbered out that she had a huge crush on him and was keeping tab on his love life – which was not as barren as he would like to let others believe! Way too many women crowded Jack Hudson for Sue’s peace of mind. One was bound to catch his attention one day or another.

“So, where is she?” asked Jack as he joined her by the desk and the blonde woman behind it.

“Room 6789.”

Jack opened wide eyes, his jaw going slightly slack. Sue had a hard time not laughing at his expressed shock. The truth of the matter was, she had been shocked herself.

“Shasha is a patient? On a pediatric ward? How old is she?”

The blonde woman – her name appeared to be Mandy if he were to believe the tag pinned on her … ample bosom. That sidetracked him a bit.

I hope those are real or she might spring a leak someday by wearing sharp things…

Jack stumbled as Sue pulled on his coat sleeve and dragged him away from the nurse station.

“Jack Hudson, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. You were all but drooling on that woman. And her eyes were a good 7 inches above your staring point, I might add.”

“I wasn’t exactly drooling…”

Sue stopped in her track and came closer. Jack held his breath, wondering if she would kiss him. Her finger caressed his chin and he all but shivered.

“Then what’s that?” asked Sue.

Huh? What is she talking about?

He looked down and saw moisture on the tip of the finger she had used to caress him. Only, it hadn’t been a caress, it had been a swab!

Women… I really can’t understand them!

Saturday, December 11, 2004

“Bobby, what are you doing here? I thought we said you’d be back on Monday?” said Ted Garrett when he entered the bullpen.

“Yeah, well I had a few things I wanted to check up regarding the case and I thought now was as good a time as any to be back.”

“Of course we’re glad to have you back… especially if you’re feeling more like yourself. Well the you we have come to know before the past month… Okay, I’ll shut up now.”

Bobby smirked.

“Yeah, I’m back to my old tricks, Ted. You know me…”

“Never a dull moment”, they both said in unison.

“Well, it’s good to have you back, Bobby.”

“Thanks. So any leads on this case? Any clue who donated those gifts to the fire station?”

“Nope, we came up empty-handed on that one. We’re still hoping to find some forensic evidence on the marked toys, but this may take a while and so far they’ve yielded nothing.”

Bobby looked at all the papers strewn on his desk, raking his fingers through his hair.

“There’s got to be something we’re not seeing that’s in there. I just have to find out what it is.”

“It’s not just your investigation, Bobby. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.”

“I’m the one who brought those toys to the hospital, so I feel personally invested in this case, Ted. Those are kids, sick kids who already have so little. And now, some of them can’t even have the gift Santa brought them. It’s unfair.”

“Yes, it’s unfair, but it’s not your fault.”

“I know, boss. I know…”

“Do you really? Cause the last thing you need is another chip on your shoulder. You’ve been through a lot lately and that made you lock yourself into your own little world. But this team needs you back.”

“Don’t worry Ted, I’m back. Nothing can keep this Aussie down.”

“That’s the spirit, my man. Right on. Gimme five.”

Bobby turned at Dimitrius' voice and watched him enter the bullpen, his daughter Tania trailing behind him.

“Hey D. Hey Tania. I see you still have your good looks from your mother too.”

Bobby winked at the teenager, his dimples showing and white teeth gleaming.

“Hey, no corrupting my daughter with that lady-killer, Crash.”

“What? I was just smiling at her, right Tania?”

“R-Right”, stammered the teenager before looking down, shuffling her feet. “Dad, will Jack be here later on? And Sue too”, she hurried on to add.

Ah Ah. Someone has a crush on Sparky.

“Tania Gans, what have I told you before?”

“You mean what did MOM tell me? To leave Jack alone, but really... I don’t get what all the fuss is about. It’s not like I’m asking him to marry me or anything, dad. I’m still a teenager!”

“You make sure you remember that, young lady.”

Garrett shared a look with Bobby, obviously finding the younger Gans as amusing as he did.

“I’ll be in my office if anyone needs me.”

Jack, Sue and Levi met Garrett at the door on their way in and nodded to him in greetings... Well, Jack and Sue did anyways. Of course, Jack immediately spotted Bobby sitting at his desk.

“Crash, you swine! Why did you let me believe Shasha was your new girlfriend?”

“Ah, you went around snooping, didn’t you Sparky? I just knew you wouldn’t be able to resist. You should have seen your face when I talked about her. But really, all I said was true.. she is a gorgeous raven-haired 7 year old.”

“Yeah, well you had forgotten the 7 year old part, buddy.”

Bobby grinned and went back to his files, trying to find the missing link, the missing proof… heck, the missing something!

“Hey D, I see you brought your own backup. How are you doing Tania? Still acing all those classes?” asked Jack with a wink at D’s daughter.

“Hey Jack. Of course I’m acing all the classes! I have to have superior grades if I want to make it to Quantico.”

“Over my dead body, you will.” stated Dimitrius, not wanting to imagine how his sweet daughter would fare at the Academy.

Tania just smiled at her father and he just knew in his bones she’d go ahead and do just as she pleased anyway. She was that headstrong, and God was he proud of her!

Dimitrius smiled back at Tania and resumed his search of his desk, looking for a missing file in his report. He finally found it and pulled it into his briefcase.

“Alright kiddo, let’s go.”

“Daaaaaaaadd, stop calling me that!” complained Tania, not wanting to remind “Awesome Jack” that she was that much younger than him.

Sue, Jack and Bobby watched them exit the bullpen, bantering and bickering at one another. Jack laughed when they were out of earshot and shook his head.

“Makes me glad not to have kids at times like these.”

“Did you know young Tania has a huge crush on you, mate?”

“Ah, she’ll get over it. It’s just a passing fancy.”

“You mean, like the sheila over there?” mumbled Bobby loud enough for Jack to hear, but managing to keep his words from being clear to Sue.

Jack turned his back to Sue and glared at Bobby, making a silencing motion with his hand and mouthing to him to cut it out.

Bobby smirked and went back to his files.

“One day Sparky, you’ll have to admit it to yourself and to the sheila. Some things are more than just passing fancies.”

I know something you don’t, Crash. I already admitted it to myself…

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Shasha was talking to her bear, just as Mandy has said she would, when Bobby entered her room. She raised her head when she heard the shuffle at the door and her serious little face immediately lit up as she spotted him.

“You came! Why didn’t you come and see me yesterday? I waited all day… My bear doesn’t answer me when I talk to it.”

Bobby just had to smile. By God, it felt good to be wanted and needed, even if it was only by a 7 year old.

“Hey little sheila. How are you today?” he asked, moving closer to the bed and bringing the chair along with him.

He felt his heart squeeze when he saw Shasha open her little arms for him, asking for a hug. He bent and gently wrapped his arms around her, placing a soft kiss on the fine hair on top of her head. Shasha’s little arms around his neck felt so good, so right. He had to take a deep breath to chase the threat of tears away before releasing her and taking a seat by her bed.

“So why didn’t you come yesterday?”

Bobby weighted down what to tell her, realizing that she could handle the truth. She had just lost both parents, she knew life was not a fairy tale, though he’d do everything in his power to insure she remembered how to dream and smile.

“I didn’t come because I was working.”

“You’re Santa, how come you have to work? You were making toys?”

Oh right, I had forgotten that small detail. Well, maybe she can remember to dream after I tell her I am not really Santa…

“About that…”

Bobby was interrupted by a soft giggle and the sight of Shasha burrowing her face in her teddy bear. He stopped and looked at her, a puzzled look on his face.

“I know you’re not really Santa because Santa is old and has white hair and blue eyes… And besides, you don’t have a big enough belly to be Santa.”

“Right. You’re not too disappointed I am not Santa I hope.”

“Nah, you’re nice, so it’s okay if you’re not him. I still love you a lot.”

“And I love you a lot too, little sheila. And about yesterday… well I had to go make sure that some bad people get caught.”

“Are you a police officer? Like in those movies?”

“Not really, I’m with the FBI. Do you know what the FBI is?”

Shasha thought for a minute, her little face illuminating all of a sudden.

“It’s like Keanu Reeves in the movie Point Break, right?” she said, having a hard time pronouncing Keanu.

“That’s an old movie, how come you know it?”

Not to mention it’s not fitting for a 7 year old little girl!

“My mommy used to play it for me all the time when dad was at work and uncle Ray was coming by.”

Uncle Ray? But I thought this little girl had no family? Oh wait, when daddy was at work…

“You didn’t like playing with your uncle Ray?” asked Bobby, wanting to verify his hunch.

“He was not really my uncle… and besides, he and mommy played together a lot. I could hear her giggling in her bedroom.”

Bobby felt his cheek redden, and he was not sure if it was a blush or the flush of anger. What kind of mother left her kid alone to cheat on her husband, while the kid was sitting in the next room with a movie he would not even let a 12 year old watch? Time to change that subject.

“Well, to answer your question, yes, I am in the FBI… like Keanu Reeves was in that movie. But I don’t exactly do the same work as he did though.”

“Ah.” said Shasha, apparently a little disappointed that he was not one to go around surfing with the bad guys and robbing bank. Go figure!

“My bad guys don’t rob banks, what they do is they take toys, just like your bear, and stuff bad things in them.”

“Is my bear stuffed with bad things?” asked Shasha, her little face turning down in a frown.

“I hope not kiddo. But would you mind if I made sure?”

Shasha hesitantly handed her bear over to him, hope and fear warring on her expressive little face. Bobby turned the bear from side to side, studying each stitch to make sure none had been opened and stitched back. In the end, finally satisfied he had found nothing, he handed the bear back to a now smiling Shasha.

“Your bear is okay. No bad things in it.”

The little girl hugged her bear close to her heart.

“Did other kids in the hospital get bad gifts?”

She is a smart cookie.

“Some did, yes. So that’s why I had to go to work… so we can find who did this and stop them from doing more of it.”

Shasha nodded, looking at him with serious eyes.

“Then I think you should go back to work and make sure you catch the bad guys. It’s not a nice thing to do to hurt toys.”

Bobby watched her look at her bear a long time and then raise her eyes to him.

“Do you think those other kids with the bad toys would like my bear?” she offered sweetly.

Bobby smiled and ruffled her hair, feeling pride for that little girl who’d even think to sacrifice a bear she so obviously loved.

“I know they’d love it, but this one is yours. The others will get a new toy. A GOOD toy this time.”

Shasha was obviously relieved at not having to part with her new best friend.

“Good, cause I’d be sad if they got another bad toy… and they’d be sad too I bet.”

“I bet they would too, Shasha. That’s why me and my friends will make sure they don’t lose another toy. And that’s why I won’t be able to come and see as often. I’ll try and stop every evening to see you, before you go to sleep.”

“It’s okay, I understand. Hey, maybe you can come with your friends sometime. That would be neat. Anyone who looks like Keanu?” she asked, the name coming easier this time after having heard him say it.

“I’m afraid not. But maybe you’ll think Jack looks better than Keanu.”

Shasha thought for a minute.

“Nah, if no one looks like Keanu, I know I’ll love you better.”

Always nice to know Keanu Reeves would win over me. Really, nothing like being wanted.

Bobby laughed aloud, surprising Shasha. She couldn’t know what he was finding funny, yet she joined him and they both laughed.

That’s the sight that greeted Dr. Chandler and Mandy as they both stood silently in the doorway. They looked at one another, exchanged a mysterious smile and went as silently as they had come, unnoticed by the agent and the child inside…

Monday, December 13, 2004

Bobby entered the bullpen that Monday, knowing his short reprieve from miss D’Angelo was now over. He had to admit to himself the thought of meeting her again didn’t scare him as much as it had last week.

Strange what a new purpose in life will do to you.

Because he doubted that change came from the 5 days off. No, it ran deeper than that. If he had to take a guess, he’d say it came from meeting Shasha and discovering there were far worse things in life than a broken up relationship. Losing someone to death was far more final and earth-shattering than a year long relationship fading away into nothingness.

It was early yet so he was the first of the team to walk in and he used this time to himself to go through some files on the case while drinking his cup of coffee. Soon, his thoughts were turning back to Shasha in her little hospital bed and her expression every time he walked in to see her. He smiled dreamily, wondering what it would be like to come home to a smile like that every night. D was lucky to have kids and a wife who kept the home fire burning for him…

“Don’t tell me it’s the thought of seeing me this morning that put that smile on your face Special Agent Manning.”

Bobby’s smile dimmed as he recognized Darcy’s voice. The coffee didn’t taste half as good as it had a minute ago.

“No worry, I won’t tell you. I try to keep my best lying for the cases who can benefit from it, these days.”

Darcy’s face flushed and she walked further in the room, pointedly ignoring him.

You can’t have it both ways, babe. Either I’m a loser you never want to see darken your door or I’m not. And you made it clear what I was to you. Tough luck, I listened.

Darcy was seething in her corner. It was one thing not to want Bobby in her life, but it was another to have him not want HER. That wasn’t supposed to happen that way…

“I hope you told the new woman in your life about your problems, Special Agent Manning. Would hate for her to think you’re a knight in shining armor until she discovered just how rusty the armor really was.”

“Look Dar, what I do and with whom I do it is none of your concerns. Why don’t you worry about your own little person and let me worry about me? It shouldn’t be too much of a stretch for you”, said Bobby with a sweetness that was belied by his hard gaze.

Darcy sputtered and opened her mouth to speak, but Bobby hurried on before she could place a word.

“And bloody heck I have a name, not just a title. If you want to go out with a Special Agent, there are a bunch of them around here. Move up and down the stories and you’re bound to find one who won’t mind you. I’m Bobby Manning, not Special Agent Manning… There’s a heart beating in that chest, not a badge. You think you could have bothered to really discover that in the 10 months we were together.”

Darcy looked crestfallen by the time he finished his tirade. The dull flush on her face had faded as she listened to him.

“I… Bobby…”

“Save your breath, Darcy. I no longer care what you have to say.”

And if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you.

Darcy studied Bobby’s face, seeing the hurt and bitterness in his eyes, the hard set of his jaw.

Wake-up call, princess. You put that look in his eyes, not the other way around.

“No wonder you’re not heartbroken over me.”

“Who said I wasn’t? Not that it matters anymore. But just tell me one thing: did it ever matter to you to begin with?”

Darcy had to swallow a couple of times past the lump in her throat. What was she supposed to tell him?

“It’s a simple question. A ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ will suffice.”

“Yes, it mattered. I’m sorry I led you to believe otherwise, Bobby.”

Bobby nodded and took a deep breath, turning his back to her unless he did something stupid like… oh, I don’t know: start crying.

“I think we are both guilty of leading each other around. Let’s forget about that and move on. I wish you luck with your life and all that. I’m sure you understand if I don’t ask you if we can remain friends”, said Bobby in what he hoped was a neutral voice.

He closed his eyes in a silent prayer of thank you when he heard voices outside the bullpen, drawing closer. Help was on its way.

“What kind of name is Spike for a dog? That’s not dignified, that’s common. Barthelemew is a far more suitable name for man’s best friend”, said Myles as he walked in with Tara by his side.

“Newsflash, Spike will me this woman’s best friend so I don’t see what you have to say on the subject”, objected Tara as she made her way to her desk, taking off her mitts and putting them in her coat pockets.

“I don’t see myself calling out to the whole neighborhood : Spike, come on boy. Come eat.”

The silence in the bullpen forced Bobby to turn and look. He just had to see if Tara’s hands were choking the life out of Myles just yet.

“Read on my lips, Myles. You will never get to call my dog home. It’s my dog, my home, my life.”

Myles just smiled and patted Tara’s cheek gently.

“I know it will take time for you to get used to the idea that we belong together. I don’t mind a little hard work.”

Oh boy, now he’s so gonna get it…

“Boy, you’re quite clueless for someone who went to Harvard”, said Tara, turning to her computer and ignoring Myles.

That’s it?!? Well, I do believe our Tara is softening up. Way to go Myles!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

If I have to look at one more file, I’ll scream!

Bobby dispiritedly shoved away all the folders on his desk and pushed up, striding across the bullpen with nervous strides. Christmas was in 11 days and they still had to find one solid lead to this case. This was turning into the biggest cat and mouse game in history, and the cats were sorely losing!

“Come on, don’t tell me your guy on the inside has not found anything more... we’re stalling here. Give us something to work with, mate” said Bobby to Scott as he walked past him and picked up a donut.

Myles had watched him do that exercise – the donut-picking that is – 5 times before. He now understood why Bobby was always so agitated and moving from one end of the bullpen to the other: it was to walk off all those donuts he ate!

“Manning, you know as well as I do that if he knows something, he is probably looking for the best opportunity to let us know.”

“You think he possibly could do this anytime before St-Patrick’s Day?” muttered Myles in an aside to no one in particular as he stared at yet another file that said just as much as the gazillion files he had looked at before; that is zilch!

“Is this another case of the FBI picking up on the DEA, guys?” asked Scott, squaring off and looking slightly indignant.

“No way, mate. It’s a case of us picking on the incompe…”

“Bobby, Myles… that’s enough”, cut in Jack, not wanting this case to degenerate into an all-out war with the DEA.

“What did I do?” asked Myles innocently, casting a woe-is-me look Jack’s way.

“Come on Sparky, look at us. We’re all sitting here instead of being out there finding those perps and getting answers. If we wait for those guys to give us answers, we’ll still be here on your wedding day!” said Bobby, jerking a thumb towards Scott to mention whose guys they were waiting on.

Jack looked at him as if he had lost him mind.

“On my wedding day? I’m not getting married. I’m not even dating!”

“You just made my point, thank you Spark.”

“Look, why don’t you go take another five days to do what it was you were doing while the rest of us were working?” huffed Scott, coming to stand in Bobby’s face.

Bobby looked down the few necessary inches to make the adjustment and smirked.

“Yeah, I can see all the progresses that were made too.”

“Well at least, WE didn’t deliver corrupted toys to innocent sick children”, quipped Scott.

He had barely uttered the last word when Bobby’s fist solidly connected with his stomach. Scott doubled over on a silent hiss of air and Bobby used the opportunity to send his other fist down on his opponent’s face. He had the distinct pleasure of hearing Scott’s nose break before Dimitrius and Jack managed to pull him off of him.

“What is going on here?” demanded Garrett as he entered the bullpen, having heard the ruckus from the hallway. He took in the bloodied face of the DEA agent, Bobby being held back by Jack and D and silently groaned to himself.

“This lunatic attacked me”, complained Scott, pressing a tissue Sue had just handed him to his nose.

“He provoqued me”, countered Bobby, glowering at Scott.

“That’s enough! I want to see you both in my office.” said Garrett, turning towards the door. He turned back when he heard nothing only to see both men looking menacingly at one another.

“Now!” he all but roared, his patience at an end.

They would get this situation straightened before it got any more out of hand. All they needed was for the press, in the guise of Darcy D’Angelo, to get a hold of this and both the FBI and the DEA would come out looking like a bunch of adolescent pricks who couldn’t behave, and not like the professionals they were.

Garrett looked at both men and amended his thought.

Like the professionals they were supposed to be.

He entered his office and directed each man to a seat as far away from each other as he could manage to place them. Playing bouncer was nowhere in his job attribution.

“Gentlemen, do I have to tell you how disappointed I am in your behavior?”

Utter silence greeted his question.

“I didn’t think so. I will not tolerate such outlandish behavior in this building, nor anywhere for that matter. You are a team, and you will behave as such.”

He silenced both men when they opened their mouth to talk.

“I don’t care if you’re in different agencies, for this case you’re on the same side, and I better not hear of any other incident or this will go in your jacket, do I make myself clear?”

Both agents nodded, glancing murderously at each other, but knowing better than to act on the animosity between them.

“Now you go back out there and resume work as usual. Oh and one thing. Try to come up with suspects sometime this century…”

Bobby all but stuck his tongue out at Scott, glad his point had been put across by someone higher up than him.

“That goes for you too, Manning.”

Now this was Scott’s turn to grin.

“Now get out of my office and go back to work”, said Garrett, feeling a vein start to throb in his forehead. To think he had avoided having children because of the petty rivalries. Now he was dealing with it in the office!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004: After supper…

Bobby was back in the hospital’s pediatric ward with his Santa costume, except this time he had help. Levi was wearing reindeer antlers on top of his head and the rest of the team were there, without costumes of course. The only person missing was Dimitrius who had called to say he would be there shortly.

As if on cue, the elevator doors slid open and out came Dimitrius with a trailing Tania in tow. And what a sight she was too, wearing a long flowing blue dress and a tiara.

“Tania volunteered to help us distribute the gifts to the children”, said Dimitrius as he walked up to them.

Tania glared dagger at the back of his head.

The rat! Not like I can say I didn’t in front of Jack! What would he think?

“Well you know me, always willing to help those most unfortunate.” she said instead in her sweetest little voice, which caused her father to look at her with worry in his eyes.

No doubt he’s wondering what I’ll do next.

That thought made her smile even wider and made Dimitrius look at his daughter even closer. It was never a good sign when Tania got that look on her face and used that sweet tone…

“How sweet of you, Tania! Those children will really have a grand time: imagine, getting Santa, Rudolf and the Christmas Fairy at all the same time!” said Jack.

Tania batted her lashes at Jack as she had seen actresses do in romantic movies. She wasn’t entirely sure, but she thought she heard her father choking in the background.

Bobby coughed and turned to look in his bag of treats, his shoulders moving up and down as he laughed at Tania’s antics. D wore the same expression on his face Garrett had worn earlier that morning when he and Scott has been in his office.

“So, who’s first on our list?” asked Tania in her most grown up voice, casting adoring looks at Jack.

Bobby watched Jack blush and look to Sue for help. But Sue was so busy trying not to laugh that she was no big help to him.

“Err, Bobby, you know the place. Where should we start?”

“Hey, you’re the team leader Sparky. Lead us and we’ll follow you”, he couldn’t resist saying, his dimples flashing in his face. The murderous look Jack threw him was made only funnier by Tania’s earnest answer that she would follow him everywhere he went.

By that time, Dimitrius had turned an unsightly shade of red. Bobby wouldn’t have thought it was possible for a black man to turn red, but he just had the proof it was indeed feasible.

“Tania Gans, I need a word with you”, he said through clenched teeth, pulling her daughter by the arm.

“But dad, I can’t. I’m busy distributing gifts”. Tania could be heard saying as D pulled her with him further down the hall.

“Ah, there’s nothing quite like young love. You make quite a fetching couple, Jack”, said Myles.

“Ah ah, very funny, you guys. A little help would have been appreciated back there.”

“But why? As you so eloquently said yourself yesterday… it’s only a passing fancy”, smirked Bobby.

“Don’t tempt me to rearrange your face…” threatened Jack, which only made Bobby laugh even harder.

“I hope D is not being too harsh on poor little Tania. I remember what it was like to fall in love at that age”, said Lucy.

The team chatted idly while waiting for D and Tania to make their reappearance. Ten minutes passed before they saw Dimitrius walk up to them, alone.

“Where’s Tania?” asked Lucy, beating all of them to the question.

“I called Donna to come and pick her up”, said D in a still shaky voice.

“D, she is just 13. It’s innocent puppy love”, added Lucy, trying to spare a little of Tania’s pride.

“Jack, man… I apologize for her behavior. She will not be bothering you again. I’ll make sure of that.”

Jack felt compelled to defend Tania. After all, you could not choose who you loved, and this was just a case of infatuation, nothing worth a father’s wrath.

“Hey, don’t mention it, D. There’s no harm in it. Be gentle on her. Remember how awkward first loves were?”

Of course, I had no idea back then how awkward it could be for the other party involved…

Dimitrius nodded and promised to go easy on Tania, though everyone noticed he didn’t elaborate on what exactly he qualified as ‘going easy’.

Finally, their small troupe moved from room to room, distributing gifts to the 7 children that had seen theirs taken away for the investigation. As they finished their tour, they decided to visit with the rest of the kids and take a little time to talk with each of them, give a hug, a word of encouragement… sometimes just a smile.

Levi was a very popular attraction with the kids. They watched so many small hands come down to pet him, and Levi – good boy that he was – stood there and let them cuddle him until he got his signal from Sue to go.

All in all, the evening was a franc success. Finally, they reached Shasha’s room and Bobby felt free to take off the white beard that came with his costume. Myles, Tara and D were clearly puzzled but said nothing.

Bobby opened Shasha’s door and stood there, watching her sleep with her bear clutched to her heart. He thread silently in the room and walked to the bed, covering the sleeping child up and leaning down to place a soft kiss on her brow. She stirred in her sleep and turned into his embrace, mumbling something under her breath.

“Shhh, go back to sleep, little sheila. I’ll see you tomorrow”, whispered Bobby tenderly, stroking a strand of hair away from her face.

He watched a soft smile spread on her lips as she went back to sleep, never having opened her eyes but having recognized his voice. His own lips turned up in a soft smile and he ran a light finger over her cheek.

When he turned to the door, he saw Jack had his arms around Sue, Myles had his around Tara and Lucy and Dimitrius were standing on either side of the couples. All of them had this surprised look on their face, but a dreamy softness in their eyes.

He had forgotten for a moment that they were there, but it was as well they now knew why this case was so important to him. Because this case had a face: that of a small black-haired angel.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

“So tell me Bobby, do you think this lead is real or just something the DEA cooked up so we would not say they’re sitting on their laurel?”

Bobby finished the last bite of his pizza, licking his fingers clean before picking his binoculars again.

“The lead comes from Howie, Myles. So your guess is as good as mine on whether or not it’s real…” smirked Bobby.

“True. But usually he comes through… in a rather odd way I will concede.”

“I just think it’s an odd coincidence that he comes forward with this lead the day after the incident with Scotty-boy.”

Myles turned his head to look at Bobby, his own binoculars hanging in mid-air.

“You think they fed him false information?”

“Well, Howie is a bit of a drongo.”

“English, please?” said Myles in what had become a long-running pet peeve of his.

“He’s not the sharpest knife in the cutlery. A light bulb on a dimmer. A few Kangaroos loose in the top paddock…”

“Okay, okay I get it, though the last one is still an Aussie slang if I ever heard one. And God knows I’ve heard my share with you around.”

“Just adding to your general culture, mate”, teased Bobby as he returned his attention to the small shop they were staking out.

They both watched in silence, waiting for anything suspicious to catch their eye. They of course never imagined the something suspicious would be a sleigh pulled by horses instead of reindeers, with a few Santa and even more red pouches inside!

“I’ll be damned…” muttered Myles.

“I don’t bloody believe it!” exclaimed Bobby at the same time.

Jack, sitting in the surveillance van on the other side of the building, heard the dual exclamation, without having the visual to know what was happening.

“Bobby, Myles, report to me. What’s happening?”

“You won’t believe me when I tell you mate.”

Jack rolled his eyes and looked at Tara and Sue who were sitting with him in the van. Tara was mouthing to Sue what was being said over the airwaves.

“Try me”, said Jack, his eyes staying a little longer than necessary on Sue. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard Myles say something like ‘you asked for it’.

“We’re looking at an honest to goodness sleigh, pulled by horses instead of reindeers – a good thing too, would hate to see how they’d explain a permit for reindeers in D.C…”

“And…?” prodded Jack, imagining the sleigh to be somewhat more of a carriage. Had to be some Aussie slang again.

“And that’s it. A sleigh, like Santa drives… with 6 Santa inside and horses pulling it”, said Myles, this time driving home to Jack that this was no slang, but a real sleigh.

Jack sat up, adjusting his headset.

“D, Scott … I want you to make your way to the front of the store and check any alternative exits to the shop. Be careful. Myles, I want you to keep an eye on the situation down there. Bobby, join D and Scott and let’s shake a few Santa loose.”

“I’m on it”, said Bobby, already at the door by the time Jack finished. He felt inside his coat and drew his gun out, ever ready for trouble to find him.

He met up with Dimitrius at the door where the 6 Santa had disappeared 5 minutes before. They waited for Scott to arrive… and waited.

“Scott, maybe you could hurry up a bit, mate? We’re trying to shake those guys, not let them die of old age…” grunted Bobby in his headset, wondering why they were always shackled with the usual dimwit.

Silence. Bobby and Dimitrius looked at one another. If the DEA agent had not bothered to answer to the bait, something was definitely up.

“Jack, do you have a visual on Scott?”

“No. I’m going to check this out. Hold your position. Myles, keep your eyes opened.”

Jack left the surveillance van, his gun drawn and at the ready. He ran smoothly towards the alley Scott had disappeared in earlier. He was moving as close to the wall as possible so to not be an easy target if anyone should be waiting for him.

“Scott, come in. Do you copy?”

Silence crackled over his headset, making him stand on edge. Something wasn’t right.

Think Jack… Think!

“Bobby, D get out of there, now!” came Myles’ voice. "It’s a decoy. I repeat, it’s a decoy. They’re coming back for the door and they look rather over-armed.”

The picture clicked in Jack’s brain.

Sue!

Jack turned and sprinted back to the surveillance van, no longer bothering to be silent or to stay close to the wall. He rounded the corner just in time to see the van careening down the street, with Tara and Sue inside.

“We’ve got a situation. They have Tara and Sue!”

Thursday, December 16, 2004 : 1 a.m.

The bullpen crackled with energy and tireless activity as the team contacted every single snitch they had, trying to garner intel on the van and its whereabouts. It was on the back of everyone’s mind that the longer it took to track it down, the higher were the chances of it getting ditched somewhere or, God forbid, get torched down.

Garrett had gotten the DEA involved as it appeared, for all intent and purpose, that one of their own was either missing or – worse – a rotten apple that had set up the entire operation in such a way that it would insure failure. To say the least, there were a few people in very hot water at the moment, and all of them wanted answers badly… But none of them wanted them as badly as Jack.

“Why don’t you take Levi out for a walk, mate? I’ll keep an eye on things and keep turning loose stones. He looks like he needs to go.” said Bobby, his eyes on the very inert Levi.

Okay, so he doesn’t really look like he needs to go anywhere, but I’m sure that would do both of them a world of good.

“I can’t. Sue is out there, no one knows where… she is probably scared and feeling quite alone without Levi. And maybe she’s even hurt at this point. We don’t know who has her, what they plan to do with her, if they plan on giving her back… God, they have to give her back!”

“Jack, she’s not alone… Tara is with her and you know those sheila can take care of themselves. And just so you know… we’ll get them back; it’s not like you to be this negative. Go on, get some fresh air and I promise I’ll get you at the first sign of activity we get.” Bobby said, grabbing Jack’s coat and handing it to him.

Jack shuffled up and took the coat absent-mindedly, his eyes on Sue’s empty desk.

Will I ever have a chance to tell her I love her?

Levi whimpered and sashayed to Jack, sitting at his feet and nudging his hand for a reassuring caress. He looked so forlorn without Sue, and Jack could very well understand how he felt.

“I know you miss her, buddy. I do too…” he said, his vision blurring as tears gathered close. He picked up Levi’s leash from Sue’s desk and attached it to the dog’s collar.

“You get me the minute you hear anything. I’ll just be in the park across the street.”

“You know I will, Jack.” said Bobby, squeezing his best friend’s shoulder in a silent show of support.

He watched Jack leave the bullpen, his shoulders hunched under the weight of his worries. Worries he shared with him, though he would never admit it to Jack.

Bobby got back on the phone and dialed another number, talking to yet another snitch who knew nothing and said even less. This was so infuriating. Someone, somewhere, had to know something.

“I’m with the FBI, though technically I am not. I’m Sue’s intel collector, do you like that? I think it sounds much better than snitch. Anyways, as I was saying, I’m with them and they need me now so you better let me in or I’ll have you fired. I have that kind of pull with my people.” Bobby heard coming from the hallway. The voice of course belonged to Howie, and for once Bobby was almost glad to hear him. Howie was the one who had gotten the original intel on the stake out, maybe he could shed some light on this for them.

Bobby got up and crossed the bullpen in long strides, reaching the hallway as security guards were dragging Howie away.

“It’s okay, he’s with us. Howie, where the heck have you been, mate? We’ve been looking all over for you!”

Howie looked at the security guards with an indignant expression on his face.

“What did I tell you? I’m with them!” He shrugged the guards’ hold on him and walked to Bobby. “Well, I was looking for Sue, and I think I might have found her and your other friend, Tara?”

“Where? Hold on, let me get Jack first.” Bobby said, his cell phone already in his hand. He hit the speed dial for Jack’s cell and waited. He did not have to wait long as Jack picked up after a single ring.

“Talk to me”, he heard over the phone.

“Jack, Howie is here and he says he may have found Sue.”

“I’m on my way!” And the line went dead.

Thursday, December 16, 2004 : 3 a.m.

Bobby crawled along the fence with a sense of déjà vu. What was it with Alliance Freight Forwarding and illegal activities? Did they put an ad in the paper recruiting jerks or what?

He could hear the rest of the team dispersing as they made their way towards the supposedly empty hangar number 7 – there they went again with flashback reinforcement! Though this time, his career was not on the line, it felt even more important that they find what they were looking for inside – because this time it was lives hanging in the balance, something far more important than a badge.

Jack crawled over to Bobby’s side, giving him a quick look that seemed to say ‘here we are again, now what?’.

“Please, let me pick the door this time, even if you learned to operate that infernal gadget.” deadpanned Bobby in an undertone as they approached the door, standing on each side of it.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Very funny.”

They waited for the agents to deploy and shadow all the possible exits. They did not want to come this far only to have them flee from another door.

“This is SAM33. All teams are in place.” came Myles’ disembodied voice over their earpiece.

“Copy SAM33. This is SAM36, let’s get this show on the road and exert extreme caution. We don’t want anyone to get hurt in the process.”, said Jack in a calm voice, when his insides were twisting in nervous knots.

Bobby silently and quickly picked the lock, easing the door open a fraction to peer inside and report.

“This is SAM31, I have visual. 7 Tango with sub machines, I see both hostages in the middle of the hangar, bound to chairs. This means we need to take them down before they go for the sheilas…”

“Bobby, if we do that, we’ll never know who set this up. Do you see Scott anywhere?” asked Jack, deferring to Bobby to keep them informed on the situation inside.

“No visual on Scotty-Boy… wait. Erase that. I have visual. Gentlemen, let’s make it 8 Tango.”

Jack cursed under his breath. First Tony, now Scott. Was there something in the water that made good agents turn bad? If so, he guessed it was a good thing their team drank coffee by the gallon!

“This is SAM36. Let’s see if we can do this civilly and get everyone out alive, Tango included. They may be our best and only lead to our case. But if at any time it looks like our gals are in danger, shoot them.”

“SAM33, ready.” said Myles, telling them he and his group of agents were ready to enter the premises on their signal.

“Backup TEAM 4, ready.” said another voice, letting Jack and Bobby know they were a go.

Jack looked at Bobby and they both checked their Kevlar was secured and their guns ready. They shared a look and Bobby nodded at Jack, reassuringly.

“Let’s go”, said Jack in his mouthpiece and pandemonium ensued.

Bobby threw the door opened and knelt down, his gun raised as he shouted: “FBI, freeze!” All around, similar shouts could be heard as FBI agents came in from every available opening, carefully taking aim at the Tango inside.

It was obvious they had not been counting on their arrival on the scene by the way the T’s stood rooted on the spot. Then Jack noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and spotted Scott making his way towards Tara and Sue. He acted on pure instinct and threw himself into the room, running at full speed towards Scott.

The DEA agent heard the approaching footsteps and turned, firing a shot that hit Jack squarely in the chest. Sue and Tara screamed in unison and gun reports echoed as Bobby and Myles fired their guns. Scott and Jack both hit the ground at the same time.

Thursday, December 16, 2004 : 8 a.m.

“Just when I thought Myles was the drama queen, you had to go and do something this insane, didn’t you Sparky? You could have just aimed your gun at him and told him to stop right there or you’d shoot him. That would have saved you a bruise and saved a perfectly good Kevlar as well.”

Jack winced as he got up from the examination table.

“I didn’t think, I just reacted to seeing him heading towards Sue. And Tara.” he added quickly as an afterthought.

Sue hurried over to Jack, her small delicate hands flying over him as if to assure herself he was all in one piece. When she was reassured, she drew her hand back and hit him, right in the solar plexus.

Jack doubled over with a soft woosh of air and everyone stared in opened astonishment at Sue.

“What was that for?” wheezed Jack, clutching his abdomen and looking at Sue with wide incomprehensive eyes.

“That was for being stupid and scaring me half to death! You’re always the one telling me to think before I act and to not get myself into sticky situations… then you go and do something as stupid as asking to get killed!”

“We had our Kevlar on”, said Bobby after having gotten her attention by touching her arm lightly.

“That’s no excuse! You know as well as I do that those are not 100% foolproof and he still could have gotten killed. Even you are not stupid enough to rush in like that.”

Bobby looked at her, arching his brow in a mocking smirk.

“I’ll try not to take this as an offense. Even ‘I’ am not stupid enough…”

Sue blushed a bright red and stammered. “Th – this is not how I meant it…”

Bobby started laughing, relieving the tension that had been with him for what seemed like forever.

“Well, if you’ll all excuse me… I’ll take the opportunity to go and check on Shasha. I’ll meet you all at the bullpen in 1 hour, is that okay?”

Jack nodded, his eyes on Sue.

“You go ahead, Crash. D and Myles have already started with the interrogations so you can take some time to yourself.”

“I suspect the DEA will have some interesting questions of their own…” said Bobby.

“Don’t we all?” added Jack.

Friday, December 17, 2004

“So we’re sure this is not a setup this time, right? There’s no way those guys could have been organized enough to have a backup plan where they reveal this spot if in a bind… right Jack?” asked Bobby in his earpiece, looking at the quiet building in front of him.

“Right… At least I hope.”

Bobby rolled his eyes heavenward.

“You were supposed to reassure me, not make me think twice about doing this. I made a promise to someone not to get killed yesterday, and I’d hate to break it the day after.”

“Hey, who said anything about getting killed? I just said this might be an elaborate setup… though I doubt it.” said Jack from his spectator spot in the surveillance van. Thanks to the bruise and sore ribs, he had won the coveted title of ‘surveillance man’ on this trip.

“Okay, let’s do this then. Tara, run us through the layout of the place?”

Tara bent to study the floor plans laid before her.

“Okay, Bobby… when you go in, you’ll be in the communal area. You’ll have what used to be the manager office on the right, and a stairwell on your left that leads to the employee room on the second floor. If you keep going, you’ll have swinging doors leading to the docking area.”

She ran her fingers along the plan so she could keep track of her own comings and goings.

“The docking area has 3… no 4 docking lots, plus 2 emergency exits on each side. There is a stairwell that leads to a credenza that has the lavatory and the foreman’s office.”

“Windows in the lavatory?” asked Bobby, visualizing the layout.

“1, about 3 feet wide and maybe 1 foot high if I believe the plan here.”

“Everyone got that? Let’s get ready to rock and roll.”

“And guys? Be careful out there”, said Jack, wishing he were going in with them and not sitting back in the van.

Sue squeezed his hand and he looked up, seeing the silent understanding in her eyes. She was telling him she knew how hard it was for him to sit on the sideline while others put their life on the line out there. He nodded and squeezed her hand back.

“SAM39, I’m clear!” came D’s voice through their earpiece.

“SAM33, I’m clear”, called out Myles.

Jack looked worriedly at Sue and Tara. “That leaves Bobby, probably NOT clear.”

“FBI, you’re surrounded! Drop your weapons and put your hands where I can see them!” came Bobby’s voice over the airwaves. “Don’t do it drongo…”

A shot rang out.

“Bobby, do you copy? Talk to me, mate!” called out Jack, his heart in his throat.

“This is SAM31, I’m clear.” calmly replied Bobby after what seemed to be ages. “1 Tango down, the rest being taken into custody. And a whole lotta gifts in the shop. Merry Christmas everyone!”

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Bobby stepped out of the elevator, making a beeline for the nurses’ desk on his way to seeing Shasha. He had a few questions for Mandy and with any luck, she’d have some answers for him to get him started in the right direction.

When he reached the station, he saw a slender brunette talking on the phone. She signaled to him that she’d be with him in a minute as she wrapped up her phone conversation.

“Yes, how may I help you?”

Bobby smiled at her and looked beyond her at a new nurse coming in, not Mandy either.

“I see Mandy finally got a day off! Good for her.”

The nurses both looked puzzled.

“Mandy who? We don’t have a Mandy on staff, do we Rachel?”

The other nurse – the one called Rachel – agreed with her.

“Of course you do. She’s about 5’6”, blonde, blue eyes… very curvaceous. She’s been manning this desk every single time I’ve been here in the past 11 days”, said Bobby, wondering if those nurses were new maybe. It seemed rather odd that 2 new nurses would work together unsupervised, but who was he to know how hospital policies worked?

“Let me check with Personnel, sir. But I’m pretty certain we don’t have a Mandy working on this floor… and I’ve worked here for 4 years; so if someone should know, it would be me.”

Now Bobby too was puzzled. If there were no Mandy working here, then who the heck had that woman been? He remembered something that might help both nurses.

“She seemed pretty tight with Dr. Chandler if that’s any help to you.”

Both women looked at him with questioning looks.

“Yeah, you know… the attending physician? White hair, blue eyes.. in fact he looks a bit like I expect Santa would. He treated Shasha Taylor.”

Both nurses exchanged a look and Rachel turned her back to him as she picked up the phone and called Personnel to check the records.

“Sir, may I ask what your name is and why you are looking for Mandy and Dr. Chandler?”

“I’m FBI Special Agent Bobby Manning. And I had a few questions for them regarding Shasha Taylor and her situation: both medical and custodial.”

“Well you see, Mr. Manning… we have a problem here. We do have a Shasha Taylor in this hospital, but there have never been any Dr. Chandler working here, nor any Mandy for that matter.”

The nurse looked over his shoulder and smiled in relief.

“I think he may have escaped the psychiatric ward. He believes he is an FBI agent and is looking for a doctor who looks like Santa Claus and a nurse who looks like the Christmas Fairy…” said the nurse, her eyes focused on someone standing behind him.

Before Bobby had time to register any of what she said – or how it made him sound – he felt hands grab hold of him and start pulling him towards the elevator.

“Hey, get off me!”

I know I said there was never a dull moment with me, but this is taking the concept too far!

Saturday, December 18, 2004 : 2 p.m.

Bobby glared at Jack who was still busily laughing his head off in the hospital hallway. The lackwitted wonder seemed to think it was pretty hilarious he’d just had to spring Bobby from the psychiatric wing. Sue, who stood beside him, was doing a slightly better job of keeping her mirth in check, but she was looking perilously close to losing it herself.

Bobby rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, moving towards the elevators on his way – yet again – to the pediatric floor. This time, he’d just make sure to give a wide berth to the nurses station… There was just no way he’d stay away from Shasha, even for a day.

“Woah, where do you think you’re going, Crash? Remember you are in my custody until they get the result from your psych exam…” Jack guffawed, clutching his side and wincing as his sore ribs protested the treatment.

Serves him well. Oughta teach him to laugh at me!

Of course, the jokester in him had to admit he’d had been the first one hooting in laughter if the tables had been turned and he’d had to come and get Jack out of the loony bin. Bobby’s lips started to twitch at the mental picture in his head.

No, darn it. I’m supposed to be mad, not laughing!

“Oh admit it, Bobby. You’re finding this almost as funny as we are.” said Sue having noticed the twinkle in his eye.

“Well, okay… it is funny. But that still does not tell me where that nurse and that doctor disappeared to. You’ve both seen them, so we can’t have been hallucinating the 3 of us.”

That sobered them up. Obviously they had not considered things from that angle.

“Well, I happen to know from a reliable source that we’re out of a case at the moment, so this sounds like something we could investigate.”

“You stole the words from my mouth, Sparky.”

Saturday, December 18, 2004 cont’

“Oh no, Rachel… The lunatic is back and he brought friends this time”, said Rhonda – the brunette nurse – to her colleague.

Rachel looked up in time to see Bobby come to a halt at the station and lean down into it, one arm resting on the countertop in a relaxed position. She would bet her last paycheck that his ankles were crossed too, adding to the ‘without a care in the world’ image he projected.

“Hello ladies. As you can see, I’m back… and this time I’d really love to have some answers, and not in the guise of armed security either.”

Jack flashed his badge at both nurse.

“I’m Jack Hudson, and this is Sue Thomas. We’re both colleagues of Special Agent Manning.”

Both nurses blushed.

“Oh gosh, you really are with the FBI… I’m so sorry… Oh Lord, are we in trouble?”

Bobby turned on the roguish charm, beckoning Rhonda closer. She leaned forward until she was close enough to hear him whisper if he so chose. He flashed her those dimples.

“You won’t be if you tell me what I want to know, sheila. Let’s start with a simple question: What’s your name?”

Rhonda’s blush turned a shade brighter as she fell into Bobby’s eyes.

“Rh – Rhonda.”

“Then tell me Rhonda, who was working the afternoon shift on December 8?”

She averted her gaze and looked for the roster, finding it and flipping through the pages until she found the one she was looking for.

“December 8. It’s signed M. Doherty and S. Champion, so that would be Marnie and Sandra.”

“And what does Marnie look like? Any chance of her being the blonde I described and I would not have caught her name right?”

Though you’d think she’d have corrected me all the times I called her Mandy!

Rachel snickered in the background.

“Marnie is 5’2, 140 pounds and has coke bottle glasses. Hardly a blond bombshell.”

Sue made a face at the woman’s description; not because of the way poor Marnie looked, but because of the way she had seemed to delight in highlighting her shortcomings.

Bobby shifted his attention from Rhonda to Rachel, casting a cool look her way.

“Thank you for the most charitable way you stepped in. It’s always nice to see the true character of those who care for our sick youth. I can see they’re in very capable and gentle hands here…” he snickered, not bothering to hide the sarcasm.

To Sue’s amazement, the woman turned a nasty shade of purple and stalked away in a huff. She turned to Jack and caught him trying to hide a grin.

What did I miss?

Jack, seeing Sue’s incomprehensive look, mouthed to her what Bobby had just said. Sue’s eyes widened as it became clear Bobby had called the woman on her poor behavior. He truly was a knight in shining armor!

Oblivious to everything else but his goal, Bobby had once again turned his attention and charm on the unsuspecting Rhonda.

“Okay, can you tell me whose doctor this signature belongs to then?” he asked, presenting the form ‘Mandy’ had given him that had allegedly been signed by Dr. Chandler to allow him unlimited visits to Shasha.

Rhonda picked the form and looked at it, furrowing her brow.

“I’ve never seen this signature before. I’m sorry.”

Well, so far, not so good, mate…

“Then maybe you can tell me who is Shasha Taylor’s attending physician?”

“Oh, that’s easy: Dr Quincy. She’s just one of the best doctor this hospital has.”

Bobby was feeling a pounding headache coming on. Lately, it seemed as though up was down and down was up. And he was going nowhere with his line of questioning either.

“Tell me Rhonda, since you’ve worked here for 4 years, how easy would it be for 2 distinct people to come here day after day and pretend to be personnel…?”

Rhonda seriously considered the question before answering.

“Well, the hardest part would be getting in. I mean there are restricted areas that will need you to have security clearance, all computer terminals require you to have your own login and password, you would need to have the uniform as well as fake ID. And of course, if you plan on stationing yourself in one spot where there is a rotation, well there is always the risk people will notice you don’t belong here. But I guess is you only plan on mingling and walking down the halls, it’s easy enough not to get noticed…”

“Okay, so in short… it’s not that easy, that’s what you’re telling me.”

“Basically, yes.”

Jack who had been quiet until now spoke up.

“How long has your friend Rachel worked here?”

The question – or maybe it was Jack’s presence – surprised Rhonda.

“Rachel? She’s worked here a little over a year. Why?”

“Is she good with the kids?” asked Jack, ignoring Rhonda’s question.

“She’s a good nurse” only said Rhonda, apparently not as comfortable speaking ill of someone as her colleague had been.

“Okay, so not particularly good with kids, but she has the right training. Would you agree with this assessment?”

“Er… yes.” said Rhonda in a very small voice.

“Do they work?” asked Jack, pointing to the security cameras. His abrupt change of subject was meant to destabilize the witness, and it evidently worked this time again as Rhonda looked at him, blinking.

“Yes, they work. Well, at least we were told they work. I’m just a nurse, so security would be better able to answer you.”

Bobby looked at his watch and at Jack.

“Jack, mate, can you wrap this up here? I’m gonna go check on Shasha for a while.”

“Alright, catch you there.”

Bobby left Rhonda in Jack’s very capable hands, rushing to see his little angel. It had been too long since he’d had a chance to look in her strangely serious eyes and bond with her.

The sight that greeted him when he entered the room twisted his guts. His little Shasha was in her bed, crying her heart out, her bear held securely against her chest. A severe-looking woman was sitting on the chair that he usually took. The woman said something he could not hear and Shasha only started crying harder, her pitiful sobs tearing at his heart.

“What’s going on here? What are you doing to her?” he demanded as he hurried into the room and immediately went to Shasha.

The little girl threw open her arms and let go of the bear as she reached for him, snuggling as close to him as humanly possible.

“Shhhhh… I’m here, little sheila. Don’t cry so hard angel, you’re going to make yourself sick.” he said, glaring at the woman over the kid’s head.

“She… want … people to adopt… me” pitifully hiccupped Shasha as she sobbed brokenly.

So soon? thought Bobby, feeling an acute sense of lost.

“Well, this is great kiddo”, he forced himself to say. “Don’t you want to live in a real home?”

Shasha raised a tear-stained face up to look at him.

“I want to live with you!”

Bobby’s heart stopped, and he was not sure it would ever start again…

Saturday, December 18, 2004 cont’

“Shasha… I can’t take you with me, sheila. You remember what kind of job Keanu had in the movie right? Well I have pretty much the same. I am not home at regular hours, at times I am not home for a long time. So who would look after you then?”

“Your friends could…” innocently said Shasha, her eyes pleading with him.

Bobby ran a shaking hand through Shasha’s fine hair, soothing her sobs.

“You deserve to have a mom and a dad, angel. I can’t give you that. But I can be your friend though. I’d try and see you as often as I could, as long as your new family didn’t mind of course. Wouldn’t that be as good?” lamely tried Bobby, unable to bare the fat tears rolling down the little girl’s face.

“No! I want… you. I’ll be a… good… girl, please???”

Bobby felt his own eyes fill up with tears, and he had to squeeze them hard to try and stem the flow.

“Shasha, you’re killing me” he moaned softly, holding her. “Try to understand, angel…”

“Everybody … leaves… me. And Sa – Santa … he said… I’d live … with you.”

Bobby sat down on the bed and carefully picked up Shasha, holding her on his lap as she cried, and cried. He felt his own tears slip free and mingle with his little girl’s… because a part of him had started to think of her as his. He just knew enough to realize he could never care for her appropriately.

He faintly heard the Child Services lady leave the room, but his attention remained on Shasha, on her little fists grasping at his shirt.

“Shhhhhh… Stop that baby. Please…” he pleaded with her brokenly, his big hand caressing her back. How such a small child could survive such wracking sobs was beyond him. It felt as though she should be breaking with each shuddering breath she took, yet there she was, holding on to him for dear life.

That’s the scene that greeted Jack and Sue when they finally walked up to rejoin Bobby. They both stood rooted on the spot, watching the play of emotion on Bobby’s face.

“Can I please have a word with you?” asked a lady that had an official look about her. Jack immediately thought this might be Child Services, a hunch that was proven when she handed him her card: Cecile L. Baxter, Child Services.

Jack led her farther away from the room so as to give Bobby some privacy. He had thought it had been hard to see Bobby go through his breakup with Darcy, but this was turning out to be equally as hard to watch him cry a child to sleep.

“What is it?” he asked, having to clear his throat when he heard how rusty his own voice sounded.

“Do you have any information on the child in this room? At all? Because other than the papers she had on her when she was brought in, this child does not seem to exist in any report or database.”

“What? Run that by me?”

“There is no Shasha Taylor in the system. The name on her identification does not come up anywhere. No birth certificate, no records of any shots or stays in any hospital… it’s all coming up blank.”

“Are you thinking child abduction?” asked Jack, his eyes returning to the door, where Sue was still watching Bobby and Shasha.

“At this point, I don’t know what to think. There could be a very simple explanation, but we can’t rule anything out.”

“We could run her prints through IAFIS and see if there is a case of missing child involving her, but it’s very unlikely she’d have been printed at such a young age.”

Mrs. Baxter turned back to the door.

“She truly seems to be attached to this gentleman, and he seems to deeply care for her…”

“Yes, Bobby does care a lot for the girl. Can you tell me what happened in there?”

“I was discussing adoption with Shasha, prepping her for the idea… now that she is an orphan… and it seems she only wants to live with your friend, who says he cannot take her in.”

Jack watched Mrs. Baxter wipe a tear from her eye. For all her cool exterior, the woman truly seemed to be involved in her cases.

“I commend him for his devotion to Shasha’s well-being. I know many parents who cannot even do the same for their kids.”

“Mrs. Baxter, is this possible that Shasha as it is spelled now, might not be how it was spelled on her birth certificate? I’ve heard of Sasha before, but never Shasha… Or how about maybe Alexandra?”

“Okay, I could see the Sasha, but how did you come up with Alexandra?” asked the lady, clearly intrigued.

“Well, Sasha is Russian for Alexander. Obviously, we have a girl here, so why not try Alexandra?”

“Smart thinking. I’ll look into this immediately. Is there a way I can contact you so we can coordinate our efforts?”

Jack reached in his pocket for a card and handed it to Mrs. Baxter.

“The FBI? Now I know I can rest assured Shasha will be properly cared for… for the time being.” Mrs. Baxter looked over her shoulder one last time, towards the room. “And maybe a single father would not be so bad after all…”

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Bobby woke up with a heavy weight sitting on his chest. He just laid there, on his bed, reliving the awful scene with Shasha the day before. It still had the power to break his heart if he let it, but he couldn’t turn his back on his little angel.

He had finally been able to calm her and talk to her, and she’d reluctantly accepted that he could not adopt her. It had taken countless promises that he would not stop seeing her, and a promise that he’d take her on vacation with him – something he made sure to tell her would depend on people other than him ultimately – for her to finally stop crying. The clinging had lasted for another hour after that.

I’ve done the right thing; so why do I feel so lousy?

That was simple… because he had let himself care too much. He’d cared about Darcy – he’d loved Darcy – yet had always kept a part of himself locked up, his comfort zone never touched. But Shasha had crept undetected and lodged herself all over his bruised heart, in all those ugly places that held the scars of the child abandoned by his dad decades ago. And now that she was there, there was no way to push her out. Not that he wanted to. She’d just become one more scar to bear.

“Enough dallying, mate. There’s a doctor and a nurse to find.”

Bobby got up and quickly went about his business, getting ready for another day that promised to be anything short of boring. He just hoped there was not as much excitement as the day before, because he was not sure he could handle a repeat.

He was putting his dishes in the sink when his phone rang.

“Manning, speak to me.”

“Bobby, it’s Jack. I think we may have a lead on nurse Mandy. Can you meet me at the Child Services office in say 30 minutes?”

“Child Services? Have you had a good look at her, mate? She didn’t look like any kind of child to me.” snickered Bobby. “I’m on my way, meet you there in 30.”

Sunday, December 19, 2004 – 30 minutes later

Bobby walked into the designated office for the Child Services and spotted Jack talking to a lady in a navy suit. Upon closer inspection, Bobby recognized the lady that had been sitting with Shasha the previous day. He walked up to them, having no clue what was going on.

“So what have you got for me, and why here?”

Jack turned to Bobby and nodded a greeting.

“Bobby, this is Cecile Baxter from the Child Services. Mrs. Baxter, Special Agent Bobby Manning.”

“Ma’am.” nodded Bobby in greeting, not sure how the dragon lady would be able to help them find blonde nurse Mandy, but willing to go with it for a bit.

“Special Agent Manning. Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“Whatever concerns Shasha concerns me.” he replied, meaning every single word of it.

“That’s what I gathered from watching you two yesterday”, she said softly, in a voice that belied her appearance. She spoke with a gentle, caring tone, her voice soothing. Not at all what he’d have expected from someone wearing a prim suit that had about as much grace and appeal as a sack of potato, and who wore her hair pulled back in a strict bun that could be a fair substitute to a face lift.

“How is Mandy related to this office? Because I gather this is why we are here?”

Jack stepped in.

“First of all, Bobby. It appears Shasha is not who we believe she is. There are no records of a Shasha Taylor having ever existed.”

“What? How can that be? She had identification papers, well rather her mother had them in her purse.”

“Those papers are the only trace to a Shasha Taylor that has no birth certificate, no hospital records of any sorts, nothing. Agent Hudson came up with the theory that her name may have been spelled differently on her birth certificate… and we also thought of the possibility of a child abduction case, which means her name could be anything, really.”

Bobby was stunned. Wrap up a case, uncover 3 more… And all seemed to turn around little Shasha, or whatever her true name was.

“Did you find anything?” he asked, looking from Jack to Cecile Baxter.

“As a matter of fact, we did, though it took a lot of digging and help from Agent Hudson to get all the missing links.”

Bobby turned to Jack.

“Why didn’t you tell me yesterday when this was brought up with you?”

Jack could tell Bobby was hurt that he had been left out of the loop. But it had really seemed like a good idea at the time.

“Bobby, you had a really tough day yesterday and I didn’t feel it was fair to add onto it. I didn’t want you to worry anymore than you already did, do.”

“She’s my responsibility Jack. I had a right to know and to help find out who she really is.”

A thought struck him.

“Oh my God, she may have family out there after all if Shasha Taylor is not her real name.” He looked expectantly at Mrs. Baxter, unsure if he should be hopeful for Shasha or scared for himself.

“No, she has no family… that part is sadly true. Her real name is Alexandra Sasha Tyler. That was really her father in the car with her – his real name is Richard Tyler -, but the woman with them was not Sha.. sorry, Alexandra’s real mother.”

“Then who was she?” asked Jack and Bobby at the same time.

“She was Richard’s second wife. Alexandra’s mother was killed when she was 4 years old. Richard Tyler was convicted of the crime, even though evidences were sketchy at the time.”

“Then how come he was here with Shasha … sorry, this is gonna take some time to get used to her other name… then how come he was here with Alexandra if he was convicted of killing his wife?”

“Richard Tyler escaped prison 1 year after his incarceration. He was being moved to a different prison when the convoy was attacked. One of the prisoner he was traveling with was a gang member and his people sprung him. This was a lucky break for Tyler, and he used it to get to his daughter.”

Bobby felt blindly for a chair and sat down heavily, his mind trying to wrap around everything he was hearing.

“How did he find her?” asked Jack. “I mean, if her dad was convicted of killing her mother, wouldn’t Child Services have seen to it that she was safe and protected?”

Mrs. Baxter looked at Bobby a moment longer, feeling sympathy for the tall FBI agent. He was taking this all very hard. It had to be confusing to see everything you believed turned around and reshaped.

“Alexandra’s maternal grandparents had custody of the child.”

“But I thought you said she had no family?” said Jack.

“She doesn’t anymore. Her grandparents died shortly after Tyler abducted her. Their condo burned down due to faulty electrical wiring.”

“Did Tyler have anything to do with this?” asked Bobby in a white voice.

“No, arson investigated and it was ruled out as accidental. I am about ready to bet Richard Tyler had no idea the Chattendel had died.”

Bobby and Jack started at the name.

“Chattendel? As in Roy and Jackie Chattendel?” asked Jack, looking incredulously at Bobby.

“I see you’ve heard of them. Yes, that would be Roy and Jackie Chattendel. Kira – Alexandra’s mother – was their adoptive daughter. There was a lot of suspicion at the time that Tyler was convicted only because the Chittendel had enough money to insure he never see his child again. One of the staunchest supporter of that theory was a Child Services worker by the name of Amanda Carson…”

“Mandy…” guessed Bobby, seeing everything fall into place, but in a bizarre new picture.

“It would appear so, yes.” said Mrs. Baxter. “Amanda Carson was fired within the first week of the Chattendel gaining custody of Alexandra. There are also many police complains lodged against her for stalking. When interrogated, she claimed she was only making sure the child was properly cared for and to insure her safety.”

“Could Tyler and her have been having an affair? She seems rather invested in this case, no?”

“No connection was ever found between them. Anyways, no one ever heard of Amanda Carson again after Alexandra was taken away.”

Jack studied all the info they had been given and came up with two scenarios.

“So either Amanda Carson was in with Richard Tyler from the very beginning, at his trial… or she may have witnessed Alexandra’s abduction and have been tracking them ever since.”

“This would make sense”, added Bobby “if we believe her claim that she was only looking out for the child’s best interest when the police interrogated her time and again in regard to the Chappendel. If she were watching them to make sure they treated Shasha right, then she would not hesitate to track Tyler to make sure he did the same.”

“But why not simply notify the authority of the abduction instead?” asked Mrs. Baxter. “She had been a Child Services worker for the past 3 years, she knew better than to not report.”

“But she had been fired because of the same family who pressed charges again and again against her. Add to that that she truly believed that the Chattendel had framed Richard Tyler to get custody of their grandchild… this means she truly believed Richard Tyler was innocent, and probably felt he deserved a chance at having his daughter with him.” said Bobby, processing the ideas aloud.

“Thus why she would take it upon herself to uproot herself from her own existence and instead track father and child all over, to make sure she had not been deceived and that Alexandra’s best interests were still met.”

Bobby pushed the chair and walked briskly towards the door.

“Bobby, where are you going?”

Bobby kept on walking, calling over his shoulder: “The hospital. It’s high time someone finally asked all the right questions.”

Sunday, December 19, 2004 cont’

Bobby walked up to the bed, thinking Shasha was asleep by the stillness of her form. But when he reached her side, he noticed her big dark eyes were opened and following his every move.

“Hey little sheila. Are you still mad at me?” he asked softly, leaning to brush a tender kiss across her brow.

“No… I’m not mad; I’m just sad. What if my new family take me far, far away and you can’t come and see me like you promised?”

That was as good an opening as any.

“Is that what happened to you before, Shasha? Did your dad take you far, far away from your grandparents?”

Shasha’s eyes widened in surprise.

“No, I don’t have grandparents.” she valiantly denied.

“It’s okay to tell me, angel. I’m sure your dad would want you to tell the truth. Did he ever tell you it was bad to lie?”

Shasha nodded solemnly, her lips pursed as she thought.

“Yeah, but then he told me that I had to make-belief, and that it was not like lying. It was just like being in a movie.”

Bobby sat down on the edge of the bed, his hand covering both of Shasha’s smaller ones.

“Well, you can stop pretending now, angel. Will you tell me the truth if I ask you questions?”

Shasha nodded, her eyes on his face, tears swimming close to the surface.

“Shasha is not your real name, no?”

Shasha made a negative sign with her head, her lips quivering slightly.

“It’s okay sweetheart, no one is gonna be in trouble. You’re doing great. Can you tell me what your name is?”

“Alex. Alexandra… but my momma called me Sasha.”

“And what name do you like better? Alexandra or Sasha?” Bobby asked gently, thinking he might have an easier time with the Sasha than the Alexandra after having known her as Shasha for the past few weeks.

Shasha shrugged. “I don’t know. I like both.”

“Okay, so what would you prefer I call you? Because I can’t keep calling you Shasha when it’s not your real name, you know?”

Shasha worried her lips, lost in her thoughts.

“Sasha. Sounds almost like Shasha. Yes… I think I’ll like that.” she said, bringing a quick smile to Bobby’s lips.

“Okay then Sasha. What happened the night of the accident? Do you remember?”

Sasha shook her head no.

“I was asleep. Mommy and daddy had been fighting and I fell asleep not to hear them anymore. And then there was a loud noise, mommy screamed and… nothing. I woke up here.”

“Do you remember what kind of noise that was? Like someone hitting a pan on the stove or more like… a balloon blowing up?”

“Like a balloon blowing up, but really, really loud.”

My God, someone shot at them. That’s why they had the accident… Think Manning, think fast.

“Was your daddy nervous before the accident? Did he seem scared to you?”

“My daddy was never scared… except when he took me from grandpa and grandma… then he was plenty scared.”

“Did you like living with your grandparents?”

“No! They were mean to daddy and always said bad things about him. And they made momma cry often, that’s why we never went to see them before she died.”

“You must have been real sad when you were sent to live with them then.”

“Yes. That’s why I wanted to live with you… cause I really like you. I don’t want to be sent to people I don’t like…” she sniffed.

“You’ll have the right to decide if you want to go live with the families who want to adopt you, Sasha.”

“But, Santa said I could go live with you.”

“You said that yesterday too. When did he tell you that?”

“2 days ago. He was with that lady with the blonde hair and blue eyes. He was disguised like a doctor, too.”

Bobby’s ears perked up. Doctor Chandler and Mandy?

“Did he tell you he was Santa Claus?”

“Of course not!”

Bobby smiled. At least the guy was not insane, that’s good.

“Santa is not allowed to say who he is. The lady said he was Santa.”

Huh?

Monday, December 20, 2004 : 8 a.m.

Bobby impatiently waited for Sue and Lucy to come in the next morning. He had a new mission for their rotor extraordinaire: find out if Richard Tyler had known adversaries who might have tracked him down and tried to kill him.

Lucy did not even have time to take her coat off that Bobby was already on her.

“Morning Luce, got something to do this morning?” he asked with a roguish grin on his face.

“Okay, what do you have to ask me?”

“What? I’m hurt! Can’t a bloke just be friendly and charming in the morning without an ulterior motive?”

Lucy just looked at him, one brow slightly raised.

“Okay, well I ‘might’ have a little job for you… if you really insist.”

“I knew it! I can read you like a book Bobby Manning. Okay, what do you need me to do?”

“I need you to find anything you can on Richard Tyler and his known enemies, anyone he might have had a brush in with, any people he might have crossed at one time or another, either in or out of jail…”

“Who the heck is Richard Tyler?” asked Lucy.

“Sasha’s father.”

“That little girl in the hospital?”

“That one. The one that’s there because someone shot at their moving car…”

“I’m on it. Poor sweetie, this must be so hard for her to lose both parents that way. But wait a minute… you said in or out of jail. You mean Sasha’s dad has been in jail?”

“Escaped convict. He had been charged with murdering Sasha’s mother.”

”Oh boy, I can already feel the love for that jerk.”

“I still reserve my judgment on whether he was a jerk, or a poor victim of the system…” simply said Bobby, knowing you rarely crossed people like the Chattendel and came out of it unscathed.

Monday, December 20, 2004: 4 p.m.

Lucy stopped at Bobby’s desk and placed a folder on top of the papers he had been studying.

“It seems Richard Tyler had few enemies, but those he had were rather important ones. He was a well-liked and respected insurance salesman, nothing I’d figure a murderer to be. Nothing bur praise about the guy until he married into a rich family.”

“The Chattendel”, said Bobby.

“Oh, you know that part. Well, the Chattendel didn’t take kindly to their only daughter marrying so beneath her. There’s no proof they had anything to do with it, but shortly after he started seeing their daughter, he lost his job and could not get hired anywhere. Still, things only got worse after he married Kira.”

“How so?” asked Bobby, leaning back in his chair and looking intently at Lucy.”

“Suddenly people came out of the woodwork, saying they had been robbed blind by him, that he stole their life saving, etc. But here’s the thing, they never found any bank accounts in the Cayman or in Switzerland, nothing. He did not live above his means, not a single thing. The charges were finally dropped, but the damage to his reputation was done.”

“These people – the Chittendel – were real piece of work!”

“They still are.”

“What? We were told they died a year after Sasha was taken…”

“Oh, they’re dead, but that did not stop them from one final insult and veiled threat. When Tyler abducted Sasha, they hired a private investigator to track him down and get their granddaughter back. Then they died, but it was specified in their will that the executor would still pay the investigator’s fees as long as it took for him to deal with Tyler. This investigator is Sam Farrell.”

“Wasn’t he involved in some kind of scandal?”

“Yes, the killing of a person he was hired to ‘track’. We’re thinking he’s more of a hitman than a PI…”

Bobby got up and picked his coat, shrugging it on.

“Do we have an address for this Farrell?”

His sentence was not even finished that Lucy handed him a paper.

“Already ahead of you.”

Bobby flashed her a half-grin.”

“Thanks Luce. I owe you one.”

Tuesday, December 21, 2004, 9 a.m.

Bobby stopped his car in front of the Farrell Investigation storefront, taking a moment to study his surroundings. The building was unobtrusive but situated in a booming part of town, which meant serious cash for the lease. Might be interesting to look at just how many figures we were talking about, yearly.

He got out and walked to the door, noticing how the etched glass held an eye symbol and the words Farrell Investigation – Sam Farrell, Inv. It was a bit gaudy, but then few people really had the benefit of having a Myles Leland III at their disposal to learn all the subtleties of proper presentation without ostentation and tackiness…

Bobby smirked to himself, remembering that particular diatribe of Myles. That had been pretty entertaining in on itself; but when Myles had gone into details and demonstrated how that lesson applied to the art of floral arrangements, he had lost it…

Coming back to the present, Bobby pushed the door and entered the building, seeing only one desk in the room, and not a soul in sight. No secretary to welcome visitors, no sweet smelling aroma of coffee permeating the air, just empty space. Bobby started reaching for his gun when a man walked in, studying a case file. He started when he saw Bobby standing in the middle of the room.

“Oh, I didn’t hear anyone coming in. I’m Sam Farrell, how may I help you?”

Bobby lowered his hand from his gun, his eyes carefully studying the man before him. Medium height, medium brown hair, slight build… no wonder the man was still in business, he didn’t stand out – something very much appreciated in a PI… or a hit man.

“My name’s Bobby Manning, I’m with the FBI”, he said, flashing his badge. “I have a few questions to ask you in regard to an old case of yours.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Manning, but I am not free to discuss cases. Client confidentiality, I’m sure you know I’m sworn to secrecy.”

“I thought this applied to lawyers and doctors, not Private Investigators.”

“Well, let’s just say my clients appreciate my discretion”, smoothly replied Farrell.

Oh, I bet they do…

“I’m not looking for specific details, just a few confirmations. You can only answer with yes or no to my questions without elaborating. That should take care of the confidentiality aspect.”

Farrell motioned for Bobby to follow him to his desk. He offered a chair and seated himself, putting a desk between them.

“I’ll see what I can do to be of help. So which case is this about?” he asked, his fingers over the keyboard so he could search his files.

“The Chattendel case”, Bobby said, watchful of the investigator’s body language. Only a small start betrayed Farrell’s surprise, but it was enough for Bobby.

“Oh yeah, such a sad case. The Chattendel were heartbroken and distressed over the abduction of their granddaughter. They really feared for her life, after the way Tyler killed his wife, they had good reason too.”

“Can you refresh my memory, I don’t seem to remember how he killed his wife.”

“Oh, he shot her, execution style. She had fallen asleep in front of the television when he walked in and coldly executed her.”

Strange that he knows so much on how it exactly happened…

“Was there a witness to corroborate any of this?”

“No, only prior incidents that my clients revealed to the police and in court.”

An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of Bobby’s stomach. Sam Farrell was affable enough, but there was something wrong in his character – he never showed any kind of emotion. Even when he’d said the Chattendel case was a sad one, his expression had revealed nothing.

“So the Chattendel hired you to find their granddaughter specifically or to track Richard Tyler and bring him – and their granddaughter – back?”

“That’s not a yes or no question, but I’ll answer nonetheless. They hired me to bring back their granddaughter. A week before their death though they amended this. They wanted me to find Richard Tyler and bring him to justice. And of course that would bring them back Shasha.”

He called her Shasha! He knew who they were here…

“Did you ever find them?”

“No, I am still looking for them. They seem to have vaporized.”

Busted!

“So you will be shocked to hear that Richard Tyler is dead, as is his daughter”, said Bobby, trying the oldest trick in the book, hoping the guy would betray himself.

“Oh you mean she died too?” Too late, Farrell realized what he had just admitted.

Bobby got up and pulled out his handcuffs, walking around the desk to Sam Farrell.

“Sam Farrell, you’re under arrest for the murder of Richard Tyler and Sandy Taylor, everything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. And mate, if I find out you had anything to do with Kira Chattendel Tyler’s death, I will make sure you rot in heck for that too…”

He jerked Farrell with him towards the door.

“Come on, let’s go see your new office.”

December 21, 2004 3 p.m.

“So Bobby, tell me again when you’re going to adopt little Alexandra/Sasha?” teased Myles for the umpteenth time that afternoon as they were searching Sam Farrell’s home.

“Probably at the same time you’ll convince Tara to marry you, Myles…” teased back Bobby, knowing no more progress had occurred since the dog incident.

D and Jack both laughed.

“Hey guys, I think I found something rather unexpected in here”, called out Tara from Farrell’s bedroom.

“Want to hazard a guess?” smirked Bobby.

“I’m hoping it’s not leather and chains”, replied Myles in his usual humor.

“Oh, you’re not into leather and chains? Hope Tara knows about that, mate”, grinned Crash, not waiting for a reply and strutting to the bedroom.

“So Tara, what have you got here?” he asked, entering the room.

“Remember in the ‘Toys for Tots’ case when we got all those Santa and their gifts? Each of them had in their possession a card with the end of a saying, but not the beginning of it? We had concluded it was a communication code with the higher command, well take a look at this.”

Bobby bent over the bed where Tara had displayed a series of cue cards with a saying on it, the last part underlined with a marker and a name written at the bottom. He searched the cards for one with the name Scott on it but found none. On the other hand, there was a card with the name Mole on it. The saying on that card read ‘Keep your friends close; keep your enemies closer’. Scott’s card had read ‘keep your enemies closer’.

Bobby’s head snapped up and he looked at a grinning Tara.

“I told you this was unexpected…” she smirked.

“Bobby, we’ve got a gun here. I’ll see if ballistics can match it with the bullet they removed this morning from Tyler’s car”, said Jack from the door.

“While you’re at it, check if you can find out who worked Kira Chattendel’s case 3 years ago and see if you get a match from the bullet…”

“You think the Chattendel would have had their own daughter killed?”

“Nothing more would surprise me coming from those people, mate.”

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Jack walked into the bullpen the morning after, looking like somebody had kicked him out of bed. He walked to his desk, passing Sue’s and smiling softly at her. He took his seat and noticed Bobby’s eyes were watching him and Sue.

“How did things go with Sasha last night?”

Bobby ran a hand through his hair, letting out a weary sigh. Jack saw that he too looked about as tired as he himself felt.

“I could not see her last night; they had to operate her again. She started complaining about abdominal pains so they ran some tests and noticed a tear in some of the suturing work they had done when she was brought in. They think a sudden move probably stretched the tender skin and caused it to rip.

“Oh no! Is she going to be alright? What are you doing here then?”

“Docs say it was nothing life threatening, but it was a good thing they caught it when they did so infection did not have time to set in. I spent the night there, watching her sleep… I can’t do this, Jack. I can’t let myself get attached to this kid – she deserves so much better than I could ever give her.”

Jack shot up from his chair, cursing under his breath when his ribs reminded him it wasn’t that long ago he had been fired at. He motioned for Bobby to follow him and led him to one of the meeting rooms.

Bobby shuffled in, shoulders slumped in defeat.

“I know what you’re gonna say, Jack… so you can save it.”

“Oh no. I think you need to hear what I have to say. No, in fact, I think you need to ‘listen’, not just hear. Have a seat, Crash, this could take a while.”

Bobby stifled a sigh and seated himself at the end of the table, feeling so utterly drained after last night. He had sat there, watching this little girl who had been through so much already go through some more surgery yet again – and probably because of something he had done too. He hadn’t been able to watch her cry without holding her 2 nights ago; so he had picked her up and taken her on his lap… Was it a coincidence that the day after, she had complained about being in pain? He personally didn’t think so.

“Earth to Bobby… did you even hear a single word of what I said?” asked Jack in a resigned tone.

“No, huh sorry… I was thinking.”

“That’s part of the problem too. You spend so much time thinking, that you forgot how to trust what you feel. You base all your decisions on what happened when you were 6, and the fiasco with Darcy has just reinforced your tendency to shy away from relationships. You know, just because you don’t let others get close to you does not mean you won’t suffer, Bobby…”

“Don’t take it the wrong way, mate… but you’re a fine one to talk. That coming from the man who admitted his love to a woman on Halloween night but wouldn’t own up to it.”

“I never said I was perfect, and we’re not talking about me, but about you and that little girl who I saw crying her heart out because she wanted to be with you. I’ve seen you with her, Bobby. I’ve seen the way you look at her, the way you have to touch her, either a finger caressing her cheek, or touching her hair, holding her hand… You need her just as much as she needs you, if not even more.”

“It’s stopped being about what I need a long time ago, Jack. Sasha needs and deserves stability, love and support She deserves to know she’ll still have someone there for her the day after tomorrow, not someone who might get killed in the line of duty every time he goes to work. Not someone who might go on undercover assignments more often than he is at home.”

“I see you’ve given this a lot of thoughts…”

“It’s all I’ve thought about, Spark. As much as I would love to take her into my home, I can’t. And watching her sad big brown eyes is more than I can stand; it breaks my heart a little more every time.”

“What about your promise to be there for her?”

“I’ll be there for her. I don’t intend to be one more person lying to her. I just hope they’ll find her a good family soon so she can discover what she would be missing out on if she were with me. It may hurt now, but it’s for the best in the long run.”

“And who’ll be looking out for your best interest?”

“Same as always… no one.”

Wednesday, December 22, 2004, 7 p.m.

Sasha opened her eyes to find Santa and the blonde woman standing over her bed, looking down at her. Her eyes filled up with tears and she searched around for her bear.

“You lied to me”, she accused Santa. “You promised me I could go live with Bobby and he said I can’t.” She sniffled, not wanting them to think she was a baby.

Santa didn’t look sad or mad, he just smiled at her, his soft blue eyes calm and serene.

“I said you would go live with him, I just didn’t say it would happen this Christmas. You see, Bobby has a lot of healing to do. He may not have been in an accident, but there are scars that are there, even if you don’t see them…”

“What kind?” asked Sasha, eyeing him carefully – not sure if she should trust him to tell the truth this time.

“Let me tell you a story. I think you’ll understand then what I mean. May I sit down?” he asked, pointing to the chair by the bed.”

Sasha nodded, all ears.

“Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Bobby Manning. Little Bobby lived in Australia with his mother and – sometimes – with his dad. I say sometimes because Bobby’s dad was not often there, always off somewhere, stealing money from people. So little Bobby grew up wanting his dad more than any gift in the world.”

“Now you see, Santa knows little boys and little girls’ wishes, even if they’re not for Christmas. It’s part of Santa’s job to listen all year long to know what to give those who’ve been nice. Bobby’s only wish for his 6th birthday was to have his dad be there for his party, and for him not to leave ever again.”

“Did he get his gift?” asked Sasha, her eyes wide with interest.

“No, he didn’t… not because he had not been a good boy, because he had been very good. But his dad did not want to stay in only one place so when Bobby told him he wanted him to not go ever again, his dad got scared and he left… and never came back.”

Sasha’s face expressed surprise, but also held a lot of hurt and anger for the child Bobby had been.

“So you see, Bobby does not let himself believe he can love people and have them stay for him. He has to learn that lesson and let his heart heal before he can accept you are meant to live with him. You know, it hurts him to see you this sad because he really does care. This means the healing has already started a little bit. Can you be patient some more?”

Sasha nodded, hugging her bear to her chest.

“As long as you promise never to take away what he asks for Christmas. I don’t want him to have other scars cause then I won’t be able to live with him”, she said, as serious as any 7 year old bent on a purpose could be.

“I promise you that I won’t forget either him or you for Christmas, Sasha.”

The blonde woman was standing behind Santa, dabbing a tear from her eye. Sasha looked at her for a long time, a long-ago memory flashing in her mind.

“I talked to you when I was littler”, she scrunched her nose. “You made grandma cry and grandpa yell a lot”, she said, a little half-smile playing on her lips.

“I guess I would have yes. But why are you smiling?”

“Because they were mean to daddy and they made him cry… so it was nice to see them cry too a little.” Sasha nervously looked at Santa. “Does that mean I’ve been a bad girl and won’t get any gift?”

Santa leaned over and caressed her hair.

“No Sasha, this only means you’re human and a very good judge of character. Go to sleep now and dream pleasant dreams.”

Sasha snuggled deeper into the covers and fell asleep, dreaming of a house with a fireplace. There was a tree with lots of gifts under it and she was sitting there, squinting at the lights to see how pretty that made them. Bobby had taught her to do that. He was sitting there with her, one arm around her shoulders, the other around a redheaded woman who smiled happily at him. Sasha had finally gotten a mom and a dad…

Amanda watched the smile appear on Sasha’s lips and then looked at the old man still sitting in that chair. She knew adults would think her insane to believe he really was who he said he was – namely Santa. Millions of people believed in the magic of Christmas; yet very few believed in Santa. Well, she was a believer… and before long, others would be too.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Bobby’s eyes felt gritty from spending the entire night looking at old police files. He had contacted a few friends he had kept in touch with from his cop days and called in a few favors still owed him. That had finally paid off when he’d not only been given access to all the evidence and case files from the old Kira Chattendell Tyler’s case; but also to the court transcripts.

The case against Richard Tyler had been circumstantial at best. Prosecution had no witnesses other than the Chattendel, no gun was found at the crime scene, no gun was registered to Richard Tyler, no neighbors remembered seeing him that day… That he had been judged guilty could only mean that the proverbial Chattendel influence had been hard at work. Or maybe they had been such good actors that they’d had everybody fooled – themselves included. The forensics report that came back last night proved, without the shadow of a doubt, that the gun that had killed Kira had been Sam Farrell’s… not Richard Tyler’s.

“Bobby?”

Bobby looked up from the file he had been pretending to read for the past 10 minutes; straight into Darcy’s eyes. He raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Darcy?”

“Hi. I – I thought this might interest you,” she said, handing him a cached envelope. “A source of mine found that out. It may not be much, but…” she let the end of the sentence trail off.

“What is it?” asked Bobby, opening the envelope.

“Your Christmas gift. Merry Christmas.”

Bobby looked inside the envelope at what seemed to be a legal contract. His eyes scanned the content quickly before stopping at a name. He went back to reading from the beginning all the way down to the signatures. There it was, the proof he had been looking for.

“How did you know I would be able to use this?” he asked, looking up at Darcy, only to find she was no longer there.

“What did she want?” asked Jack, coming to stand beside Bobby, ready to lend him moral support if he needed it.

“She wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas. And she handed us the key to charging Sam Farrell with murder. Here is the agreement the Chattendel signed to have their beloved daughter killed…”

December 23, 2004, afternoon

“Do you want me there with you?” Jack asked Bobby, just outside of Sasha’s room.

“No, I’ll be okay. But thanks mate, for everything. You really didn’t have to come all the way here.”

“Hey don’t mention it. Besides, what are friends for?”

Bobby offered a small smile to Jack and took a deep breath. Pasting a brighter smile on, he entered Sasha’s room.

The first thing he noticed was that Sasha seemed a little less sad than she had a few days ago. She actually smiled when she saw him; last time she had all but cried. Bobby started breathing a little easier.

“Hey little sheila. How are you feeling this afternoon?” he asked, brushing a soft kiss on her brow.

“Better; though my tummy still feels funny. But they say I can go back to my old room in time for Christmas.” She made a small face. “You think Santa will remember us here in the hospital?”

“I’m sure he will Sasha. And I heard the nurses and doctors throw a big party for their little patients tomorrow. That should be interesting, don’t you think?”

“Yes, but I don’t know anyone here. And all the other kids will have their mom and dad with them. I’ll have no one,” she said very seriously.

“That’s not true. I’ll come for you… unless you don’t want me to come that is.”

Sasha’s twinkling eyes was all the answer Bobby needed, but she still added her voice to the answer.

“I want you to come! I’m sure you’ll be the best-looking dad,” she stopped mid-sentence, casting her eyes down and biting her bottom lip.

Bobby’s heart squeezed at her unease. It was apparent she was having a hard time dealing with their situation. Heck, he had a hard time dealing with it and he was an adult!

“It’s okay angel; I understand what you meant to say. And I think you’ll be the prettiest girl in the whole room… maybe even the whole hospital.”

Sasha beamed at him.

“How do you think I should dress myself? As an FBI super agent or as Santa Claus?”

“You can’t come as Santa cause then I won’t know who is Santa and who is you,” she giggled. “Besides, I think you look better than Santa; cause Santa has a big belly and a beard.”

“You don’t think I would look good with a big beer belly and a beard?” Bobby grinned, his dimples making their first true appearance of the day.

“No,” Shasha laughed, making a face.

Jack stood outside the door, listening to the sound of Bobby’s and Shasha’s laughter and he knew without a doubt that this little girl had the power to heal his best friend. He just had to find a way to make Bobby see and believe that.

“This ought to be fun,” he snickered to himself before walking off. He had things to set in motion…

Friday, December 24, 2004

“Special Agent Hudson, what brings you here?” asked Cecile Baxter as she led him into her office and closed the door behind them. “Please, have a seat.”

Jack smiled at her and took place on the narrow chair. He waited for her to take her own seat before he explained the reason for his visit.

“I’m here as Jack Hudson, not Special Agent Hudson actually. I just had a few questions regarding Sasha’s custodial situation and the likelihood of her getting adopted soon.”

“I couldn’t tell this to Jack Hudson; but I could tell that to an FBI agent though. Are you sure you still want to go on the record that this is totally an off the record type of request?”

Jack looked at Cecile Baxter and wondered how he had ever thought her cold. It was true looks were deceiving.

“Well, let’s forget I said anything then. What can you tell me about Sasha’s situation?”

“Sasha – since this is how you all seem to refer to her – is probably going to be very easy to adopt because she is still young and not a problem kid. We’ve found out people are more likely to adopt an older kid when it’s a girl than a boy… a sad truth for all those little boys who so desperately need a home.”

“Have you found any prospective families yet?”

“We have a few promising leads, but nothing definite. Sasha still has a long time left to spend in the hospital, first for treatment, then for physiotherapy. Not to mention she will need to see a child psychiatrist for at least a few more years. She’s had to deal with a lot of traumatic experiences in her short life, so we want to make sure she gets a solid foundation to build the rest of her life on.”

Jack looked crestfallen for a moment.

“So the chances of a single man adopting Sasha are really not good, I would gather.”

Mrs. Baxter looked at him with commiseration.

“The fact your friend is single and unattached is something against him. If you add that he has a dangerous and unstable job – not in the sense of job stability, but rather the kind of stability it would bring a kid – his chances drop even further. I’m sure he’d make a fantastic father, but the courts will look more favorably on a couple adopting than a single FBI agent.”

“Damn. Will he be able to visit with her though? I mean, I know it’s something that is important to Bobby and to Sasha.”

“That can be arranged. I don’t think any family would object to that, but it’s entirely up to the family and not something we can enforce because of the fact Mr. Manning is not a relative.”

“How long do you think it’ll be before Sasha is adopted?”

Cecile Baxter leaned back in her chair, her hands folding on her desk before her.

“This depends on many factors. Sasha’s recovery, her response to physiotherapy and psychotherapy. But most importantly, her acceptance of prospective families. It’s not uncommon to see kids in the system systematically run away from foster homes; just as it’s not uncommon to see children prefer to stay in familiar surroundings. I’ve seen this happen often in the case of children who’ve lost their parents suddenly: it’s like a barrier they put up so they won’t be left behind once again.”

“Do you see Sasha falling in that category from the talk you had with her?”

“Based on the fact she so adamantly wanted to go live with Mr. Manning, I would say it’s highly unlikely. Though what concerns me is she may refuse to be adopted out because she is holding out hopes of living with your friend.”

Jack thought about that for a minute and recalled Sasha’s little stubborn chin and her friendly behavior of the day.

Smart kid!

“Hope is sometimes all we’ve got,” Jack said with a smile before thanking Mrs. Baxter and leaving her office.


** There should be 1 or 2 more chapters to this story before I call it a wrap. I just wanted to thank you all for your continued interest and comments! **

December 24, 2004 cont’

Bobby walked out of the elevator to a collective gasp from the throng of nurses milling about in the hallway. He looked around himself, expecting to see Adam Kinsey standing there for all the vapid attention the women were casting his way. But no, it was just old him.

“Hello ladies. Any idea where I can find Shasha Taylor,” he asked them, knowing the hospital records still used the name she had been admitted under.

None of the ladies answered, so busy were they ogling him. This was bizarre. He knew he cleaned up good, but this was getting to be a bit much even for him. If they swooned seeing him wearing black trousers and shirt with an electric blue tie, he’s hate to encounter them when he really went all out!

He shook his head, bemused and walked away, feeling their eyes on him and hearing a big dreamy sigh.

Oh, for crying out loud!

That devilish part of him reared its head up and he looked over his shoulder, winking at the 6 nurses and flashing his dimples. He thought he saw a few knees buckle, but he just turned around and kept on walking, grinning to himself.

“Special Agent Manning, I thought I’d see you here today,” came a familiar voice from somewhere on his left.

Bobby stopped in his track and turned, taking a long look at the woman standing before him, her long blond hair flowing down her back, the blue eyes and the soft blue dress following the alluring curves of her body. A tiara adorned her hair and she was holding a wand with a star at the end.

“Mandy, or should I say Amanda. You know, I ended up in the psychiatric ward because of you and your friend the good Doctor. It’s a federal crime to impersonate someone else and claim affiliation with an hospital when we are not even employed there.”

“I never treated any patients so I was a danger to anyone. If anything, I’d have thought you would thank me for making it possible for you to approach Alexandra in the first place.”

Bobby looked around, searching for Doctor Chandler. He could not see him anywhere, but that did not mean he was not here.

“Are you here alone?”

Mandy – sorry, Amanda – laughed in a throaty voice and motioned with her arm to look around them.

“I’d hardly call that being alone, agent Manning.”

Bobby was about to continue when he heard the sound of a throat being cleared behind him. He turned and faced the most breathtaking sight he had ever seen. There, in a wheelchair, stood Sasha, her dark hair pulled into a long braid that hung over her shoulder. The end was adorned with a blue ribbon, the exact same shade of the tie he was wearing. And she had on this blue robe over her hospital issue gown. There again, the blue matched that of his tie.

How is it possible?

His eyes fell on the hands at the back of the wheelchair and followed them up to the arms they were attached to… and higher up, until he encountered a pair of brown eyes he saw everyday at work. Jack Hudson!

“Hey Crash, hope you don’t mind that I joined the party.”

December 24, 2004 cont’

“Jack? What are you doing here?”

“We were invited. You do remember we worked the case too, right? So the nurses and doctors invited us,” answered Jack, grinning from ear to ear.

“Do you like my new robe, Bobby? Jack and Sue gave it to me,” beamed Sasha, her little face upturned to look at him.

Bobby squatted down so she didn’t have to crane her neck to look at him. His hand involuntarily moved to caress hers as he smiled at her.

“I love that robe little sheila. It looks great on you.”

“And it’s the same color as your tie too,” she added, just in case he had failed to notice.

“Yeah, I saw that. Sue gave me that tie this morning; how funny is that,” he asked, catching movement from the corner of his eye and knowing it was Sue.

Sue, who was standing slightly off Jack could clearly make out Bobby’s words.

“What can I say: I have good taste?” she said, drawing a short laugh from Jack.

Bobby raised his head and grinned at Sue. His eyes traveled meaningfully between her and Jack.

“That you have, sheila.”

He winked when he saw her blush profusely. Jack was none too steady either there for a minute.

“You look a little flustered mate. Why don’t you take the lovely Miss Thomas and get some punch? I’ll take over from here,” he smirked, gently pushing Jack out of the way and handling Sasha’s wheelchair himself.

Sasha’s excited squeal drew all of their attention.

“Bobby, look: it’s Santa! Can we go, please… can we?”

Bobby followed the direction of her arm and saw a man in a Santa suit sitting in a big chair in the communal room. Children were sitting around him and nurses and doctors stood scattered in the room.

“It’s the Christmas reading,” explained Mandy. “Santa reads a story to the children and staff and then each kid gets to have its picture taken with him and to receive a gift.”

“Wish we had known that beforehand. I don’t feel too safe around gifts lately,” muttered Jack under his breath but loud enough for Bobby to hear.

“I hear you mate,” Bobby replied, rolling Sasha into the room so they could listen to the story as well.

Something about the Santa looked familiar, yet Bobby could not quite place what. It wasn’t until he saw Mandy join him that his brain clicked. Dr. Chandler!

“Jack, get a good look at Santa, don’t you recognize him?”

Jack, who had been busy looking at Sue, turned guiltily away and took a look at the man in red.

“Well, wouldn’t you know it; Dr. Chandler is back to make his rounds,” he said, laughing at his own joke.

Bobby grinned ruefully.

“Stick to the FBI mate, I don’t think the world is ready for your humor yet.”

“Jealous,” Jack shot back in an undertone when people around them started glaring their way.

“The sleigh was all packed, the reindeer were fed, but Santa still knelt by the side of the bed.”

The room got very quiet the moment Santa started reading his tale.

“Dear Father,’ he prayed ‘Be with me tonight. There’s much work to do and my schedule is tight. I must jump in my sleigh and streak through the sky, knowing full well that a reindeer can’t fly. I will visit each household before the first light, I’ll cover the world and all in one night. With sleigh bells a-ringing, I’ll land on each roof, amid the soft clatter of each little hoof.”

Bobby was as caught up on the moment as everyone else. Santa’s prayer on Christmas Eve had always been a favorite oh his. Lyle used to read it to him, he remembered with a fond smile.

“To get in the house is the difficult part, so I’ll slide down the chimney of each child’s heart. My sack will hold toys to grant all their wishes. The supply will be endless like the loaves and the fishes. I will fill all their stockings and not leave a track. I’ll eat every cookie that is left for my snack. I can do all these things Lord, only through You, I just need Your blessing, then it’s easy to do. All this is to honor the birth of the One that was sent to redeem us, Your most Holy Son. So to all of my friends, least Your glory I rob, please Lord, remind them who gave me this job.”

Bobby was shocked when Santa looked straight at him after his tale and winked. He turned to ask Jack if he had seen that; but what he saw stopped him cold. Jack was holding Sue’s hand. Just like that, Jack was holding Sue, no roll of the drum, no Divine intervention, no matchmaking by Lucy – although he supposed he couldn’t bet on that last one.

He turned back to see Santa moving towards him and Sasha.

“Hello Sasha, you look radiant today. That shade of blue really looks good on you,” he smiled, handing her a wrapped package. Sasha hurried on to open it and found inside a picture of her and Bobby together.

Bobby looked closely at the picture, wondering when it had been taken. In it, he was sitting on the bed, his arms wrapped securely around Sasha who had her head on his shoulder.

The day she told me she wanted me to adopt her.

He looked up at Santa, puzzlement clear on his face.

“You believe so strongly in Christmas and its spirit; yet you are so reluctant to believe in me. Tell me Bobby, when did you stop to believe in Santa Claus?”

Bobby opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out. Jack, who was listening in on the conversation stepped in.

“Dr. Chandler – or whoever you are – we’d like to have a few words with you when your duties here are fulfilled.”

Dr. Chandler – Santa, Bobby was getting very confused – looked at Jack with a gentle smile on his lips.

“Jack Hudson. You’ve been a very good boy this year; but even more so in the past couple of months. Everyone dreams of having a friend as caring as you are. Just know I agree with you: ‘sometimes, hope is all you’ve got’, but let me add this: most often, it’s more than enough.”

Jack started when the man threw back at him the words he had told Cecile Baxter in her closed office the same morning.

“Oh, and Jack? Don’t fight your feelings so hard. There’s nothing wrong with love and no one can dictate to you whether or not you can love someone. God never intended for laws and regulations to come in the way of His master plan.”

Jack now looked as bemused as Bobby. How could the man know so much when he had been told none of this? The only logical explanation was not only improbable, it was downright crazy.

“Sue, my dearest child; your heart is truly made of gold. I know you sometimes get discouraged with the world around you and don’t think you do enough for it. Rest assured, you’re doing more than your part. Judy smiles down on you from the heavens and I was told to pass a message along to you: ‘Stop thinking this should have been you instead of me. Live your life to the fullest and experience it for both of us. You have so much to offer this world, why would you keep yourself from doing what you loved most?’ She has a point, you know? You have a tendency to want to keep all the many aspects of you separate when you should embrace them as a whole.”

Sue was definitely misty-eyed after the message from Judy.

“This is something Judy would have said,” she whispered softly.

Santa smiled.

“Of course she would have; she just did.”

All 3 agents looked at once another, reticent to believe this could truly be happening. Santa didn’t happen to walk into an hospital and start spreading tidings of joy and good will… did he?

Sasha solved the problem for them in a very simple manner. Children tended to get to the heart of the matter that way.

“It’s okay not to believe, you know. It’s just more difficult to explain if you don’t.”

Bobby looked down at her and smiled, caressing her cheek.

He’s right. How can I believe in Christmas if I can’t believe in Santa? Is it so hard to imagine? Well, yeah it’s hard to imagine, but it could happen.

He looked up at Santa who had moved on to the other kids assembled in the room. From his spot here, he could see his hair take on a shine, as if a light was shining down on him.

It’s the lighting. Just a trick of the light.

Mandy laughed softly at his side.

“I can see you’re going to have a hard time coming to terms with all of this, Special Agent Manning. But for all it’s worth, it’s real.”

Bobby watched her walk away and join Santa, touching a child here and there, bringing them a totally different gift – that or human touch and kindness.

As he watched, a slow smile spread on his lips. He remembered telling Darcy there was magic everywhere, as long as you knew where to look for it. Well, tonight – this moment – was magic… and he would not let himself believe otherwise.

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered, and he’ll be damned if he did not see Santa turn from all the way across the room and wink at him.

~ THE END ~

Wow what a beautiful ending, to this instalment! Do you watch the Hallmark channel? It reminded me of the movies you sit down to watch on a winters afternoon, near Christmas. All full of hope and faith, bringing tears to your eyes.

Its been nice seeing Bobby progress in his recovery from Darcy, and progression for Jack and Sue too.

And Sasha's belief in Santa is great. Excellent, can't wait for your next story.

Beautiful, Jaycey... you outdid yourself, hon!

Loved this...

Sure, it's a Bobby story, and I loved him with Sasha, but I loved how you brought Jack and Sue together so naturally...

Beautiful, wonderful work!

I don't think we have the Hallmark Channel in Canada, but I did see over the years quite a few Hallmark Special Presentations. Borrowed Hearts was one such if I remember right and that one with David James Elliott too (I'll be home for Christmas I think?).

Thank you so much for all the nice comments throughout the story and I am glad the ending did not disappoint. Would have been a bummer to have your interest all the rest of the story only to lose it now!

Yep I agree, " Merry Christmas!" Great story Jacynthe. Brings tons of the Christmas spirit

You're an author who meets her deadlines! I'm impressed!!!
I loved the ending. It was magical and I'm glad you didn't explain away Santa -- there's too much of explaining away magic in the world. I just LOVED the ending. And you left a nice opeing there - for Bobby to get himself hitched and adopt a little girl.(atleast I'm hoping).
Thanks for such a lovely, magical Christmas story.
Kav

WOW!!
The story was amazing.
Really touching and with just a nice hint of magic.

WELL DONE- JACYNTHE

Oh Jacynthe don't be so modest! you did a great job, and we all loved it.

Awww, just got caught up with all this. That is soo good Jacey. Awesome job. I'm noly left with one question, who IS going to adopt Sasha! Will she run away!? Will Bobby always be there for her!? You know there are lots of places to go with this. Ever thought of making a sequel?

There are no words...

Absolutely amazing ending Jacynthe! This has been a wonderful story, heartwrenching at times. Made me fall in love with Bobby and see him in a whole new light. I loved the prayer Santa said at the end. I'm amazed how you took the impossible and made it possible, within a couple of days. If only you believe. Great job!

There already is...

All my stories wrap into one and intermingle. So chronologically speaking, this is how you could read my stories to make sense of them all as a whole:

Halloween Contest
Christmas Contest
(Going the Extra Myles when written)
Under Covers
(D is for Destiny when it's written)
(More than that when it's written)
(Matchmaker's heaven when it's written)

And of course any other challenge I enter might add to that list. LOL

I'm so sorry I was late reading this story. I loved the prayer Santa read I've never heard it before. This was just a beautiful story.