lol! absolutely amazing Kav!

Looking forward to more!!

Kav I'm dying here! Your writing is hilarious! I just got to the last two posts and have been laughing so hard! There are way to many things to mention, as it is all so entertaining!

I have a grandson Little Timmy Splatter so I really got a kick out of that part! I lived it one day when I foolishly, picked sweet baby over my head to watch him giggle. You guessed it. My eyeglasses needed windshield wipers. My hair was covered, my face and clothes, YUK is right! Hysterical laughing at my own stupidity, my daughter stared at me in disbelief and said, gee Mom, I'm glad your taking it so well. Remembering the first thing I wanted to do was jump in the shower, there was nothing else to be done, and when I read that Mrs. R was at church and would have no escape, I laughed even harder!

Looking forward to more!

HEE HEE HEE!!!

TOO FUNNY!
:laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs:

I havent laughed so much for ages!

Oh my goodness! I finally caught up!! KAV!!!! Your humor is just fabulous!!!! This story is so funny, and the writing is nothing short of brilliant. I can't wait to see what happens next...there's so many wonderful threads in here that I want to see play out, and I'm sure you're going to handle each one with style and ease (and projectile vomiting, when necessary).

December 6, 2004

I think I am dying. If the cramping in my belly doesn’t kill me, I’m going to bleed to death. I thought Mom wouldn’t be very sympathetic about me missing school, but she was preoccupied with her head in the toilet and wasn’t her usual sharp-witted self. Dad tried to make me go. He’s so out of his element when Mom is sick. It’s kind of cute. Plus, he’s a push over. When he told me to go get ready for school, I turned my most pitiful eyes on him and started crawling up the stairs and I said in this very ethereal voice, “Dad, have you ever heard of a woman bleeding to death because of,…you know.” And he started to get all squirmy so I kept on “Because I don’t think Timmy Splatter’s projectiles can hold a candle to my…”

“Stay home.” Dad said quickly. “You and your mother can keep each other company.”

“Thanks Dad, because, honestly, I don’t think I could have faced algebra when I feel like someone is skewering me with….”

“Tanya! Upstairs. Now!”

So I got my pillows and joined Mom in her bed. She moaned and made me promise not to jump around. I assured her that jumping was the farthest thing from my mind just then.

The next time Mom came staggering back from puking, she dumped a gift bag at my side of the bed.

“It’s a Welcome to the Sisterhood of Women Gift from your Auntie Tish and I.” She mumbled, “Thought I’d save it for a time like this.”

If I hadn’t felt so awful, I would have quite enjoyed myself. They had bought me a hot water bottle with a woolly sheep cover, a bottle of Advil, one of those microwaveable pillows and 3 imported chocolate bars.

“Try the Advil and the hot water bottle first.” Mom suggested, trudging back to the bathroom.

“Dad!” I hollered, and he went to fill my hot water bottle. Then he held my mom’s head while she was sick again, and cleaned up the floor cause her aim was off, went downstairs and got her ginger ale and crackers and then I asked him to microwave my special pillow, so he went back down and did that.

“Poor Dimitrius.” Mom said sympathetically as she went back to the bathroom.

Dad left for work twenty minutes late with promises to check in on us in the afternoon because he has to work tonight. He gave Mom a bunch of smoochy kisses which is kind of embarrassing – I mean once you have a teenager you should really start acting your age!!! I told them so, and they just laughed and my dad did his Rhett Butler imitation only it was ruined when Mom started puking again, which serves them right for not acting their age. Dad gave me a zerbert on my cheek and flashed us the ‘I love you’ sign when he left.

Mom and I just lay there pitifully watching Good Morning America for a while. The crackers seemed to have settled Mom’s stomach and the hot water bottle started to do it’s magic so my keen observant FBI wannabe mind started putting together the evidence.

1. Mom didn’t have a fever.
2. Mom has been super sensitive to smells lately – and not just Roasted Rat.
3. Mom is puking her guts out.
4. Mom has been a little more emotional lately.

My Mom’s pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This had me all weepy. And then Mom got all weepy and we hugged and just bawled our eyes out for about ten minutes. And when we’d calmed down I asked her why we were acting so crazy and she said, “Hormones.” Then she started laughing hysterically and couldn’t stop until, you guessed it, she puked.

“Do you want to tell me what’s so great about this sisterhood?” I asked her after I had cleaned things up. And that set her off laughing all over again. I ran for cover.

Dad came home for lunch. He brought me double chocolate fudge ice cream. Wasn’t that nice? Mom says it took her a while, but she trained him well. He also brought us a DVD to watch. Emma. So Mom and I spent the entire afternoon in our PJs in bed watching the movie.

And that’s when I had my epiphany. I am going to make the noblest sacrifice of my life. I am not going to fight Sue for Jack’s affection. Not only am I going to bow out of the running; but I am going to encourage their union. In fact, I’m going to do more than encourage. Jack is moving far too slow – it’s been two years and they haven’t even been on an official date yet!!!

So, I’ve decided I’m going to get them married by Christmas.

Mrs. R’s Rules:

1. Journal – yaddayaddayadda
2. Good deed – decorated a barf bucket for Mom since it looks like she will need it on hand at all times for a while.
3. Character flaw to work on: jealousy – if I can’t conquer it I will never be able to accomplish the union of Jack and Sue. I think thoughts of Bobby’s dimples might help here.

Tanya

...Wow! That is some goal!
All power to her though ...

Great job Kav! Very cute how Tanya 'handled' her dad!

I certainly support Tanya's goal to get Jack and Sue married by Christmas! It'll be interesting to see what exactly she does to try and accomplish that! And...it sure seems like Tanya's skills of observation about her mother are correct. Definitely would be my guess.
Wonderful post, Kav!

Yeah, I have to agree with Tanya.. Bobby's dimples do help a lot in quite various situations..

Very cute chapter and dare I say best of luck to Tanya too on getting Jack to wake up in time for Christmas!

December 7, 2004

It is not my fault that Mr. Rudkoski is a narrow-minded stick-in-the-mud. I strongly feel that high school teachers require a sense of humour – especially science teachers. They should have compulsory laughter seminars and make teachers read jokes out loud to each other in the staffroom on a regular basis.

Today we got our biology tests back. We wrote it last week. Just a little one of Mr. Rudkoski’s surprise pop quizzes. Not worth a lot of marks, and really nothing that warranted the sensationalism my one little test of ten questions caused.

First, can I just point out that out of ten questions, I got nine perfectly
correct answers! I think that should have been taken into consideration.

Personally, I think Mr. Rudkoski is harbouring ill feelings towards me on
account of his hives. Most of them have flattened out and he no longer has to dot his face and hands with calamine lotion. You’d think, being a teacher in a Catholic school, that he would embrace his religion and practice forgiveness, if for no other reason then to set an example for us youth. But alas, this is not the case. It is never that simple when it comes to my education.

Part of its Jack’s fault. I wrote the test on the day he drove me to school and walked me to the door. And I’d overdosed at looking into his eyes during the car ride. He should be made to wear sunglasses as a precautionary measure.

And I might also point out that the class was Biology and the question was suggestive.

And after marking 28 tests all boringly the same, wouldn’t you think a science teacher would welcome a witty answer or two?

I’ll admit – it didn’t help that I had doodled hearts and Mrs. Jack Hudson all around the margins of the test.

The question was:

What three things do plants need to reproduce?

My answer:

1. Consenting plant parts
2. A gentle breeze
3. Mood music


Mr. Rudkoski sent me to Mrs. R.

It's official : I am a juvenile delinquint. Mrs. R. says she's keeping the test as evidence, and since she won't let me return it to Mr. Rudkoski, I get 0 on a test the first time in my life!

I hate school.

Tanya

That was too witty!

Wow, Tanya sure has it hard! Of course, I'll always made a strong effort in school, so I've never really pulled anything like that... but the poor thing got most of the test right! Sheesh, it's like she has way too many parents.

At least the idea of a baby on the way is something to look forward to. And, while her parents have been somewhat strict with her, there's nothing like a menstrual cycle to bring the family together. I'll stop there, before things get... just too detailed.

BTW, loved Tanya's comments to her dad. I know my dad would be PRETTY standoffish if I used them on him. Hey! That doesn't sound so bad. Oh dad..... jk. He's behaved himself today, so I'll save that weaponry for one of HIS delinquent days. :whistle:

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Have I said how much I LOVE your sense of humor, Kav??? Keep it coming! I love this!!!

Awwh..Poor girl can't catch a break! Wow 9 out of 10 is good...

Loved her answer though...I have to admit...it was pretty creative. Under the circumstances of her mind being elsewhere during the test (*cough* Jack's eyes *cough*)...lol

Hopefully her parents won't be too hard on her for this one...a zero on the test though...bummer...

Great job Kav!

What a wonderfully funny post!! This comment and the answer she gave on her test, as well as her reaction to the punishment had me laughing out loud. I'm loving this story, Kav!

Oh Kav!

Firstly - loved December 6th. Good to see mother and daughter bonding - father too in a skivvy sort of way. Can't wait to see how she intends to get Jack and Sue married by Christmas - she may need to recruit some help in that endeavour.

December 7th - too funny! The answer to the test was hysterical!

Keep it coming! I don't think December is going to be long enough for me - i just want this Journal to go on and on....

Kav, this is simply too funny! I just read the whole thing and I must have overdosed. I love the unusual narrator you chose to use: you have a teenage girl down pat (when are you getting a YA novel published?). Keep up the awesome work!

That was great! I just had a chance to catch up!


You are doing an awesome job with the characters! Please add more soon

Kav I just got caught up and I have to say your writing humor is a brilliant gift! Lot's of good ideas in your story too. Can't' wait for more!

Kav, I'm exhausted from laughing and crying so hard. This is BRILLANT!!!!! I'd loved for you to have Tanya keep a journal past Dec. too.

Poor Tanya,

this has me lauging all the time...bad Jack dsitracting her like that and 9/10 was fantastic

Boy am I glad I never went to her school

Where are you Kav?

Waiting patiently!


Ok not so patiently!

Come back and make me laugh some more!

I am soooo sorry that i am late to this. It's sooooo good!

It's 00.51am where i am and i am trying my hardest not to laugh out loud.
I am finding it VERY difficult.
I think i nearly gave myself an asthma attack.

you have taken me back to my childhood! :Bdaygirl:

please post soon!

December 8, 2004

I had absolutely nothing to do with the rat they found in Mrs. R.’s office today just when the superintendent came to visit, but I got blamed for it anyway. I wasn’t there, but I heard all about it from the office secretary.

Mrs. Wilson and I are kindred spirits, of a sort. I take care of her twins sometimes in Nursery at church and she is quite understanding…for someone over thirty. She is totally sympathetic about Mrs. R. and, personally, I don’t think she has an easy time of it at work. I think that’s partially why she got pregnant so quickly after the twins (because I honestly can’t think why, once you’d produced those two, you would actually want any more – especially this soon!). Anyway – she’ll be on mat leave after Christmas so she’s mellowing out quite nicely and she lets me in on some things that I otherwise would not be privy too. Like the rat in Mrs. R.’s office this morning.

Apparently, Mrs. R. had just poured the tea and offered some Christmas cookies to the superintendent when the rat (I call him Nameless One – because nobody every bothered to give him a name) decided he’d like to have a little refreshment too. He was making his way determinedly across the length of Mrs. R.’s desk when her screams actually rivaled both Maria’s and mine last week in the cafeteria. (That is gospel truth – I heard it straight from the mouths of eyewitnesses.) Well, I can just imagine the pandemonium that ensued. Makes me regret being off on my own stealth operation or I would have heard the commotion as I had Religion that period and the classroom is right down the hall from the office. Thankfully Nameless One got away – they think he disappeared down a vent in the floor (wasn’t that clever of him?) – and he managed to drag half a cookie with him!

Mrs. Wilson said that the superintendent wasn’t impressed with Mrs. R.’s explanation and is sending someone out from Physical Facilities to investigate vermin control. This, of course, is disastrous for N.O and his mice friends and has spurred me on in my R.R.R. (Released Rodents Rescue) quest. I did not send my precious fur brothers and sisters to freedom to simply die days afterwards. I know they say that the price of freedom is high – but that’s a ridiculous inflation rate by anyone’s standards!

So – do you want to know what I was doing out of religion class at the exact time N.O. made his presence felt in the principal’s office? I was in the girls’ washroom in the basement. Hardly anyone goes there; you have to be in a truly desperate state. The basement is dark and dingy and there’s just storage space – the recycling bins – and two huge washrooms down there. The girls is on the right and it smells of mildew and old, rotting things. No matter how much it’s cleaned it still looks drab and dreary and like it hasn’t been touched in a hundred years.

So – do you want to know why I was down in the gross basement washroom?

Because of Grant Dilbert’s biology project. It’s been found, and its snake belly is bulging with two suspicious lumps that look rather like mice. Everyone in my science class thought it was cool. Even the girls I counted amongst my friends had this morbid fascination with it. Stacey swore she could see the mice’s movements as they were slowly digested. It was disgusting and upsetting and I just knew that I couldn’t loose another fur baby in the same way. So I vowed to scour the school for the remaining rat and 5 mice before any more disasters strike those unfortunate rodents. They were surely born under an unlucky star!

And that’s why I was down in the basement in second period instead of in Religion class. I spent a good ¼ of an hour down there, looking for signs of mice. I found some droppings, so I knew I was on the right track. I just couldn’t tell how fresh they were. I searched each tile crevice and mildewy nook for ages, but I didn’t spy so much as a whisker or a tail.

I was wandering around the loo, desperately seeking some rodent sign, when I noticed a girl all scrunched up in the big window ledge by the sinks. I said ‘hi’, but she just ignored me, which I thought was pretty rude. But it looked like she’d been crying, so I thought maybe she didn’t want to be embarrassed by being found out. I know I would be. So I told her the story of Theodora and the rodent freedom march to distract her; it was very therapeutic for me, but she didn’t say a word. In fact, she looked right through me. How very rude!!! And she refused to tell me her name or anything else about herself. I have to admit that I don’t take well to being ignored – just ask my parents – so I was about to ask why she was acting like I was some microscopic experiment when I was distracted by a flash of white fur and pink tail.

It was a mouse – one of my babies. I chased that poor little thing across the room and tried to pounce on it as it slipped along the faucets. But it scurried away like I was a barn owl or something. I tried to explain to it that I was the girl who freed it and I was trying to help it further. I don’t know if it was my imagination – but I think that little micey face looked at me in horror before depositing some droppings on the sink and then racing away again.

I thought I’d finally cornered it up on the ledge of the last stall. Just high enough to be out of reach, even if I stretched on tippytoes. It actually sat down for a rest and washed its whiskers! (I think this is ‘mouse’ for a rude hand gesture) So I practiced my stealthy moves and carefully climbed onto the toilet seat and made a valiant attempt to snatch it up. I actually felt the furry little body wriggle out from underneath my hand, but in my excitement my foot slipped and it was right at that moment that Mrs. R. came upon the scene and caught me with my foot in the toilet.

She was furious. Of course, I didn’t know yet about the whole rat incident in her office or that this had propelled her to seek me out. She just seemed to appear out of thin air like the wicked witch of the west. I couldn’t very well tell her why I was standing on the toilet seat, with one foot immersed. So I found myself squelching all the way back to her office.

That’s when I found out about the rat and the superintendent (Mrs. Wilson’s version first while I waited for Mrs. R. to calm down). It seems to me that an inordinate number of grownups take a lot of time calming down around me. I find it ironic that they are the ones always telling me that I should not be so emotional and exercise more self-control. It seems they have a hard time practicing what they preach.

When I finally went in to see Mrs. R. she had a big file folder on her desk. It was crammed with paper.

“This is the file I’ve been compiling on you, Tanya. As you can see, it’s nearly full and I’ve only been keeping track of you for about a week.”

Keeping track of me…it looked like Mrs. R. was doing some serious surveillance work and I didn’t like the sound of that at all. Then she asked me all kinds of strange questions that had nothing to do with rats or mice or my soaker. She asked me about Jack – I don’t know how she knew about him. Was he the man who had walked me into school last week? How were things going at home? When I told her things were fine, considering my mother was sick all the time and my dad was working most nights lately, she pounced on that and started writing in the file saying “Absentee father. Mother ‘sick’.” She said that as if it was my mother’s fault she was throwing up all the time. I tried to explain about the baby, but Mrs. R. brushed all that aside.

Then she called my mom – right there in front of me. And this time, wouldn’t you know, my mom was actually home! Mrs. R. likes to complicate things, as usual. She told my mom that it wasn’t a simple slip of a foot; she was looking at the ‘bigger’ picture. Apparently I am a ‘disturbed’ youth, caught in the act of peeping over bathroom stalls! She considers this ‘immoral conduct’. I could tell my Mom was protesting over the phone, but Mrs. R. just flipped through this huge Board policy binder that lists, among other things, what they can do to a student for various misconducts – apparently immorality issues can carry a suspension of up to three days. She told my mom she wasn’t going to suspend me this time, but that I had come ‘perilously close’. Then she told me that she thought I had enough to contend with at home and she thought I could probably receive better guidance by spending my days at school. She told me that she could tell I was crying out for help and she wanted me to know that she heard me!!!! If this is how Mrs. R. answers a cry for help, I would drown before accepting a life preserver form her!

Dad was working late again tonight. I could tell Mom was worried. He can’t tell us what he’s working on, but we can always tell when things are getting heated up. So we tried to occupy ourselves by baking Christmas cookies. David and Mom did the actual food handling part – I was allowed to punch out the shapes and then we all iced them together. I’m very good at the decorating part – as long as someone mixes up the icing. I got out our old play dough spaghetti factory and made ringlets for the angels. They were quite spectacular if I do say so myself. When it was time for bed, I asked Mom if we could start reading a Lion in the Box – it’s my favourite Christmas story – just because I knew she needed the distraction. We read until we heard Dad’s car in the driveway and then David and I hung back while Mom rushed to meet him at the door and I didn’t roll my eyes and David didn’t make gagging noises when Mom and Dad stood kissing under the mistletoe for the longest time.

When he finally noticed us we charged him and wrestled him to the ground, letting out all the nervous energy that had kept us prisoners of our imagination all night. Daddy was very impressed with our cookies, so we all sat down and had milk and cookies and Dad said what he always says “So kids, anything interesting happen at school today?”

It took David all of a minute to catch everyone up on his day. I had a lot more to say. Dad thought I was making it up, until Mom confirmed that Mrs. R. had called her. All I said was: “ Mrs. R. has no scope for imagination. If she thought things through, she would realize that if I was having immoral thoughts, I’d have been caught peeping in the boys washroom, not the girls!”

My dad started laughing and then my mom started and pretty soon we were all laughing and we just couldn’t stop.

I didn’t get to bed till past eleven.

Mrs. R.’s rules

1. Journal – Proof: I have a shiny bump on my finger from holding the pen so long.
2. Good deed – I distracted Mom from worrying about Dad – and I provided comic relief for the whole family (I am good at this)
3. Character flaw: just can’t think of anything today – I think I used extreme willpower and control under dire circumstances and I didn’t beat my brother up once!

Tanya

Hooray! Kav's back! An excellent post. But I'm going to beg here. I want more Tanya and Jack! The effect of the Hudson Charm on the teenage mind has soo much potential!

Loved the bit about absent father and sick mother!


What a hoot! :laughs:


Thats british for awesome!

Looking forwards to the next post!

December 9, 2004

My pounding heart jolted me awake this morning; my sweaty palms, churning stomach and ice-cold nose were all a dead giveaway. Flu? Nah! Anyone who knows me will tell you that when I get stressed my nose turns into a Popsicle. My first thought the minute I opened my eyes was: “I have to put an entire nativity play together in less then three weeks!” Which was closely followed by: “Mrs. R. intends to play the organ for said nativity play so I will get to be in her company even more for the next three weeks.” This is not my idea of a fun way to count down to Christmas.

On top of that I am beginning to have serious doubts about my ambitious resolve to get Jack and Sue married by Christmas. This is largely due to the fact that I am stuck in school all day while they are at work with my father. I had fleetingly considered letting my dad into my matchmaking plans since he is in closer proximity to my intendeds – but subtlety isn’t his strong suite and he probably would just tell me to mind my own business anyway.

There is this teensy part of me that is actually relieved because I don’t think I have quite let go of Jack, though I am trying very hard. Whenever I start dreaming about his beautiful brown eyes, I try to interpose Bobby’s dimples over them – but this leaves me with a disconcerting image of eyes that look like they have belly buttons. It’s rather unsettling.

I feel quite tragical and melancholy today. Mom says that it’s hormones, which much of a consolation.

I am worried that my apparent inability to maintain my resolve regarding Jack and Sue is an indication of a shallowness just beginning to surface now that I am in my teens. I truly never saw myself in the role of a hoyden fighting for her man…yet the image does have it’s appeal. What man wouldn’t want to be fought over? And, if it came to a fight, I know I would win. Sue is just too nice.

Daddy was home for dinner tonight for a change and he noticed right away that I was not my usual perky self. He said, “Hey, baby, what’s the matter? School getting you down?” So I talked to him a bit without going into particulars – just that I was in the throws of a major Dilemma and I didn’t know what to do. I also asked him if he thought I was a shallow human being. He said definitely not! I fear what he would think if he could peer into the depths of my soul right now. But Dad did give me a concrete idea. He said to write out a list of pros and cons. So here they are:

Pros: Jack and Tanya

1. We both have brown eyes so I’m sure our children will have the same melting brown eyes as their father. Just think of the potential – we could repopulate the world with ‘Jack’s eyes”. It would be a kinder, lovelier place.
2. I’m younger than Sue is so I’ll live longer and be able to take care of Jack in his old age.
3. I’m a daughter of an FBI agent and I’m going to be an FBI agent so I understand the difficulties of maintaining a relationship in that profession.
4. All I have to do is look into Jack’s eyes and I go to mush – so I’m sure we’ll never have any arguments, because I won’t be able to keep a thought in my head.
5. I will require very little to keep me content – as long as Jack winks at me occasionally. (Melting at the thought)
6. My parents like him…a lot.

Cons: Jack and Tanya

1. Sue
2. Since I’m so much younger, what will it be like to be married to someone so much older? When I’m 20, he’ll nearly be 40! Ugh! There’s a good chance we’ll have 20 years of him being retired before me! Double Ugh!!
3. If I can’t keep my wits about me when Jack has his eyes open, I’ll bore him to tears and he’ll leave me!
4. If Jack has to wink continuously to keep me happy, he more than likely will develop a tick, which would then become irritating, instead of irresistible.
5. My parents won’t let me get married until I graduate from high school at least. That’s four more years. Even I know that’s a long time for a platonic relationship.
6. My father would kill Jack if…well…if it wasn’t a platonic relationship. Not to mention the law on such things.
7. The only way a relationship with Jack would be viable is if we wait until I’m in college at least. That means I run the serious risk of loosing him to another woman before then. I mean women are continuously throwing themselves at him. It’s disgusting!

Conclusion: If I’m going to loose him to another woman anyway, wouldn’t it be better to loose him to someone I pick? And know that she would be really good for him? After all love is about making sacrifices. Maybe Jack will see things clearly in time. Like maybe on his death bed – when he’s really old, like 50 and I’m just 30, I’ll go to his bedside and he will take my hand and lament the fact that I was so much younger but understood the sacrifice I made and show his gratitude because I had the strength to do what he never would have been able to do. So in the end, I’ll have saved him from himself.

Sigh. All this emoting is making me hungry. I am going downstairs to finish off the double chocolate fudge ice cream.

Mrs. R’s rules:
Stink.

Tanya

Oh, yeah!!!




Kav, I love this, I love this, I love this!!!!! Keep it up!!!

Kav!! I'm dying over here! Seriously, it's all so funny that I have no idea what to quote! But I'll give it my best shot. My absolute favorite part?

Let's see... I would think so! What a fabulous image; how in the world did you ever think of it? On second thought, maybe I don't want to know.

Awww....that's so sweet! A little weird, but then I guess that's teenage love for you. Remember how awkward we were at that stage? (Of course you do, or you wouldn't be able to write about it so brilliantly.) I had a crush on this guy who rode a motorcycle (so exicting), and I wrote the most dreadful poetry...

Okay, I quoted this one for the sole purpose of using a certain smilie:

Yep, D would burst several major blood vessels. It's a very frightening image that I'm carrying in my head right now, Kav, and it's all thanks to you!

:laughs: Good grief, were we ever really that awful? Of course we were!

There's so much more, but those were at least some of my favorites...great work, Kav!!!

Tanya has a crush on jack but what would Sue think? hmmmmmm

December 10 2004

Sue is always saying ‘When God closes a door, he opens a window.’
Well, if that’s true then I’m stuck at the bottom of a locked tower; the only window is 10 stories up and there’s no ladder!
I bet Sue would say at least there’s hope because I can see the window.

Too bad I’m not Sue.

I decided to put the whole Jack Tanya Sue love triangle in God’s hands and let him do with it what he may.

Sue also likes to say God works in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform. I think my life is one of God’s mysteries and we’re still waiting for the wonders.

I hadn’t been in homeroom for two minutes before the call from the office came through. “Send Tanya Gans down to the office.”

Mrs. R. has thought of new ways to torture me. She worried all night that she had been too lenient with me yesterday. Apparently my eternal soul weighs heavy on her mind. She has decided that I need to throw myself into good works in order to purge my immoral thoughts. (she didn’t say it exactly like that – but I know she meant it that way). She volunteered me to organize St. Jerome’s Annual Food Drive. This is usually run by a group of senior students. Apparently there was an unfortunate incident with the football hero and a cheerleader and a party that went out of control and now all the seniors are banned from doing anything that consitutes fun – like hauling around heavy bags of canned food.
I get to sit in the foyer of the school every morning wearing a Santa hat, ringing a bell and accepting donations of spam and other tasteless items that people just want to pitch out. Do I sound like Scrooge? That’s probably because he was a distant cousin.

I tried to tell Mrs. R. that this was way too much for me to do. But she said that I wouldn’t be alone. I would have a teacher advisor and she was sure more students would volunteer. The teacher is Mr. Rudkoski. That’s how I know it’s Mrs. R.’s revenge. She hasn’t been sitting up at night worrying about my eternal soul – she’s been sitting up trying to figure out ways to torture me legally.

Oh – and she also wanted to tell me that she couldn’t stay after school for my detention. So, did she cancel it? No, she decided I could serve my time during assembly third period. So while the rest of the school gets to go and watch a Christmas Variety Show put on by students and staff, I get to sit all by myself in the computer lab (which is right across the hall from the auditorium) so Mrs. R. can check on me periodically. It would never occur to her to pull me out of Math say or Biology.

And that’s how I ended up in exile with the girl who was crying in the basement yesterday.

She tried to ignore me again, but I wasn’t having any of it. I mean, what have I ever done to her? It took me about five minutes before I figured it out. This was an all time low, even for Mrs. R. You would think she would have told me. Not just so that I didn’t make a fool out of myself, but because it would be the decent thing to do so that the girl wouldn’t be put in an awkward position.

So I wrote a note on a paper airplane and sailed it across the room I wrote:

You’re deaf.
I can finger spell a bit.
Slow.
Tanya

I didn’t think she’d answer at first, but she started writing and then sailed the plane back to me. She still wouldn’t look at me though. This is what she wrote:

Yes.
I can finger spell too.
FAST.
Amanada

So we started zinging paper airplanes back and forth and were having a great time when Mrs. R. came in and caught us and had a freaking hairy fit and sat us at the farthest ends of the computer lab, having confiscated all our paper and our bags. I’ll admit, I was feeling rebellious by then. I was beginning to feel like Lemony Snickett was writing my biography! And then, I had the most scathingly brilliant idea. I turned on one of the computers and mimed for Amanda to do the same. Then I went to work. We’re all given passwords and we have limited access to educational applications and the internet. We are not allowed to use email at all and it’s been blocked on the system. I simply over-rode it and set us up on MSN. At last we had a fast way to communicate.

I should have been listening out for Mrs. R. I mean Amanda couldn’t here her coming. Amanda says she should have been keeping an eye out for Mrs. R. But we were so giddy with our clandestine success that we got lost in the moment and Mrs. R. caught us.

Amanda just got sent back to class – but I got sent to the office. There was the small matter of me hacking into the School’s system and changing some settings so I could set up the MSN – which is also banned on the school network. They are very strict at our school about the internet.

All too familiar scenario. Parents called. Dad was at home for the afternoon because he was going to be out in the evening again. So he came and picked me up. I had just spent a miserable 10 minutes being grilled by Mrs. R. about my home life and what my father really did for a living. She still does not believe that my dad is an FBI agent. She thinks I am making it up to increase my own self-importance. I was just waiting for my dad to come through those doors all dressed up in his crisp white shirt and standard dark suit. He dresses up real fine and I wanted her to see the successful man he was. I forgot about him being undercover.

Dad showed up with two days growth of beard, in baggy old, street people kind of clothes. Mrs. R. was triumphant. Dad told me to go outside and wait for him in the car. I assume he and Mrs. R had words. He never did say. He didn’t yell at me, and though he seemed ticked, it wasn’t at me. When he got in the car he just asked casually,
“You been hacking computer systems long?”

Now hacking isn’t the word I would use to describe what I do. I feel like it’s more a creative process with a high tech bend. And I discovered my talent in sixth grade. I just never let on. I don’t want to look any more geekier than I already am.

“So – the safety nets we’ve installed on the computer at home?” Dad wanted to know.

“Pretty much a waste of money.” I had to tell him. Then I noticed that we weren’t heading home, but driving downtown.

“You’re coming to work with me for a bit.” Dad said. “I just have to go in a catch up on a few things. You mind coming for the ride?”

Mind?! Getting out of school early on a Friday – without getting in trouble with my parents and having a chance to see HIM!!!!!! I felt like someone had just started building stairs at the bottom of my tower.

“Um – sure I don’t mind. Dad, will…Jack be there?’ I tried to act casual, but he gave me this piercing look (he is an FBI agent, after all) so I tagged on…”and Sue? There’s something I’ve got to ask them.” Phew quick recovery. He stared back at the road.

“Sure – they’ll be there.”

Okay – so maybe my stairs were getting built faster now. Maybe Sue was right – that window was getting closer by the minute.

Because Amanda and I have come up with the perfect plan guaranteed to drive Mrs. R. stark raving mad. And there’s absolutely nothing she can do about it.

There are days I’m sooo good, it scares me. This was one of them. But it’s way too late now. I’ll have to catch up tomorrow. I need to be more awake when I tell you about Jack and me.

To be continued….

Tanya

I'm so glad you're posting again, Kav--I've really been missing this story! Love the addition of Amanda to your story...as for the rest of it, wonderfully funny as always. Got a kick out of number one on the Jack/Tanya con list.

Kav you slay me. Thanks. I really needed that.

Glad to have you back Kav! This story is simply brilliant (not to mention hilarious!). I loved every bit of your last three posts. But if I have to pick a favorite bit, it would have to be this one:



Haven't we all felt this way at one point in time?

Great stuff!

December 11, 2004

I am not moving out of this bed for anything! I have my journal, two books and my Discman. What more could I ask for after the kind of week I’ve just had? Being grounded can be so restful. I’m going to make the most of it because I think Mom and Dad are going to cave about that pretty soon.

Side note: For someone who has been grounded for 11 days, I sure have a lot to write about. I think I would need an extra day a week just to keep up with the journal writing if I wasn’t grounded!

So – (she says taking a sip of the hot chocolate with whipped cream that her dad just brought her) – did Mom train him well or what? – wonder if I should mention, casually, of course, that my period has stopped and though the chocolate is appreciated, it is no longer a necessary staple of my diet? – carefully thinking….Nah!”

Okay – back to savoring yesterday. Though I am still confused about how both Sue and I can feature into Jack’s life. Let’s see if I can make sense of this by writing it out.

Everyone was in the bullpen when we got there. They looked busy – but not frantic and they all seemed happy to see me. Nobody asked the obvious question – like why was I not in school? But I suppose Dad has shared some of my educational woes with his co-workers.

Jack looked up and winked at me when I came in. I am so addicted to that! I wonder if he realizes how devastating that is to the female population? Then Bobby flashed those dimples and I was momentarily bemused and then he said:

“Quick, call the Bomb Squad, Tanya Gans has entered the building.” In this funny voice that sounded like it was coming over a pa system only it wasn’t. Then he winked at me too, and I was just struck with a case of butterflies that had me all discombobulated for a second, so I didn’t have a ready come back like I usually do. I covered myself pretty good by making a fuss over Levi. Everyone started laughing and tossing jokes around about the unfortunate incident on Dec. 1 involving my homemade stink bomb, but I didn’t mind. It made me feel kind of like I belonged.

“Hey – Sparky – you think we should christen Tanya today?” That was Bobby.

I was surprised when Jack answered him. “That idea has merit, Crash.”

“Wait a minute – why are you called Sparky?” I asked Jack, forgetting that I was turning all shy around him lately. So he told me about dumping his first car into the Potomac and he told the story really well – using different voices and making the siren sounds and the pzzzt of the sparks in the engine. Everybody was laughing – especially Sue.

Then Tara told me why Bobby was called Crash – because Bobby refused to say anything that would incriminate him – those were his exact words.

“Pretty impressive.” I told him solemnly, “Do you think it’s an Bureau record?”

“So far.” Jack/Sparky said.

“So – maybe I can beat it when I get my first Bureau car.”

“You want to join the FBI?” Sue asked me.

“Every since I was 7.” I told her.

“That’s news to me.” Dad said, looking worried – I have no idea why – I’ll be a good agent. I’m not going to embarrass him or anything.

“Well – then she definitely needs a nickname.” Bobby/Crash said, “How about Boomboom?”

Yuck.

“Nah – that sounds like Bambam’s little brother.” Jack said (thankfully), then he winked at me and suggested. “Bombshell.” I was glad that my dad was standing next to me; I think I would have swooned on the spot, if not for his steadying influence. Bombshell is what they used to call really pretty girls in the olden days – don’t ask me why. I liked that nickname, but Dad vetoed it.

“I won’t have a bunch of grown men calling my daughter Bombshell.” He said sternly (but he was only kidding) – so I asked him if it was okay if guys my own age called me that. Then his frown become real and he told me that I wouldn’t have to find that out until I was 16! That’s the magic age I have to be before I can date! Archaic or what? Oh well, there’s lots of ways to date without looking like dating if you use your imagination. And I have an imagination, so I don’t worry about it.

“How about Boomer, then?” Jack asked. I liked it just because he thought it up. It is positively delicious to have an absolute hunk take the time out of his busy work schedule to come up with the perfect nickname for you. I tell you, I was about ready to ask if anyone had a paper bag I could hyperventilate into. So Boomer I am!!!! And guess what is absolutely the greatest thing about this???? Sue doesn’t have a nickname!!!!! She’s been there two years and Jack hasn’t thought to christen her with a nickname! It’s just Sparky, Crash and Boomer.

Then Jack and Bobby suddenly jumped up and told my dad to grab me and before I could do anything, my dad had tossed me over his shoulder and they were heading out the door. Jack told Lucy to run ahead and check the women’s washroom. She didn’t ask any questions, just did it and when she told them the coast was clear, Bobby and Jack went into the women’s and my dad carried me in after them. “What are you doing?!” I screamed, shocked to my very toes. Is nothing sacred anymore? And Jack said – “We’re going to christen you, of course.” And Bobby went in and flushed a toilet. “Right this way Special Agent Gans – the font is ready.” Well I screamed and struggled and laughed and it’s lucky my dad is so big cause he couldn’t get me into the stall. We were all laughing so hard and when we got back to the bullpen I said to my dad – “Do you tell them everything?”

Lucy said I was the highlight of their day. That whoever gets in first puts the coffee on and then when Dad comes in they all beg him for the latest Tanya story. That’s exactly what she said. She said Jack laughed the hardest. Lucy said, “I work for the FBI and you have a more exciting life than I do!”

So then Dad hoisted me onto Tara – only it was kind of like she was expecting me, cause she had a place ready for me at her computer and she said I could just fool around on some puzzles and trivia games she had on there while I waited for Dad. I thought that was nice of her. It also gave me a good vantage point for Jack sighting….well Jack and Sue sighting…cause they seemed to have a lot of consulting to do on the case they were working on. Jack would go over and put his hand on her shoulder all the time. Now, I know that’s the polite way to get her attention, so she doesn’t get startled every time someone comes by – but I think his trips were excessive and his hand lingered a tad too long, and once he actually kneaded her shoulder the way my Dad does for my mom when they’re getting all lovey dovey. This was not a good sign….or wait a minute….yes it was a good sign. Oh darn, it depends on your point of view – and I keep fluctuating on that!

Anyway – everybody settled down to work and Tara and I just goofed around a bit on her computer. She is turning into my idol. She’s definitely a kindred spirit. We can talk and finish each other’s sentences and I totally forget that she’s an adult and she told me that she totally forgets I’m a teenager!! How cool is that? Plus she has the most amazing pens! And she gave me a sparkly pink one with a floofy feather on the end. So I had quite a bit of fun and Tara kept giving me different games to play and I kept at it until I noticed that everybody was very quiet and when I looked up they were all looking at me the way a teacher does when she’s called your name and you haven’t heard her. I kind of jumped and said, “Sorry, Dad is it time to go?” But he just shook his head.

So then Tara told everyone that I was basically a computer genius and I’d gone through all these levels on her tests (I thought we were just playing games) – and she said there was no doubt that I was gifted. For a minute I felt like she was a traitor, but she was only doing what my dad asked her to. And she’s an adult so I had to make allowances.

“Tanya?” Dad asked me, looking for an explanation.

So that’s how Tara got me busted. And I can’t even blame her, cause she was just doing her job. The FBI always gets her man or woman or, in my case, kid. It’s a relief in a way that they know. I’ve been trying so hard to hold back so no one would suspect. Why? I just want to be normal – and fit in. Course I don’t now anyway, but “Tanya child prodigy” doesn’t stand a chance. Everybody totally commiserated with their own high school experiences. It makes me wonder why they’re always telling us it’s the best years of our lives?

Anyway – everyone was really nice about it all and they went back to work and I just played around on the computer some more – only somehow I ended up out of the games and into Tara’s actual work – as soon as I noticed, I stopped right away, but it was too late – I’d cracked the code. Though I didn’t understand a word of it, everyone else did. Dad put me in the conference room with a laptop and told me to keep the door closed and stay put until he came for me. They had to have a meeting.

Course I didn’t.

Mrs. R’s rules:
1. Journal writing – been at it all morning
2. Good deed – provide comic relief for the masses (i.e. Dad’s coworkers) – since this is an ongoing good deed I think I should be exempt from any further ones.
3. Character flaw: too easily flustered in the company of handsome men with to-die-for brown eyes, especially when those eyes wink, oh dear, I need a paper bag – must learn more self-control. How?????????????

Boomer

Tanya must be really smart

Just love watching her crush on Jack!!! And, somehow, I have the feeling at some point in Tania's future, she will actually get this nickname!!! But for now, Boomer's working!

Kav, you continue to amaze me with your extraordinary insight into the teenage mind!

Absolutely superb! Now I know that you are a teacher, I can tell where all your observations are coming from. This is truly hilarious and I can't wait for more!

Awesome!

Very funny and cute! Please add more soon!

Oh, wow, Kav!!! This is so incredibly entertaining! I absolutely love it. Keep up the awesome work! Tanya is so real and easy to picture. hehe. I love her perspective on things, especially as it fluctuates. The funny thing about it is it's so real! Since it wasn't all that long ago that I was her age... about 4, 5 years, it's somewhat fresh. Looking back on those days (wow, I sound old. lol), I just have to laugh... the crushes, dreams, unbelievable behavior. It's so much fun just to sit and remember, since that was all we knew then, and everything was oh-so-important. Now, they're special and very humorous memories. You've captured that perfectly, except it's of the age when it is all we know, and all we deem important.

Keep up the fantastic job!!!

Once again, I have to say that I simply LOVE this story, Kav! You have a teenage girl down so very well...her crush on Jack, the insistence that nothing is her fault, the way every little thing is earth-shattering...I could go on and on but I think you get the picture.

This last post was especially fun: I loved seeing her interact with the team. The nickname was hilarious, as was the part when she "accidentally" cracked the code on Tara's computer. I especially loved this part:

Such fun!

Keep the great posts coming!

December 12, 2004

I have seen the FBI in action and I am speechless….okay – nothing ever makes me speechless – that was a slight exaggeration. But I am totally impressed with their efficiency, tenacity, determination and of course, their organizational capabilities. And get this – I am part of the operation now – I’ve got my own badge and everything. Oh – and I’m the team leader too!! And they are all taking directions from me – even Jack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And no, this is not a dream. Here’s what happened.

After having such a Jackalicious week, reality in the form of Mrs. R and Father Tom slammed me out of my warm fuzzy world pretty hard.

I kind of had a meltdown and we left church early. I had a long talk with Mom and Dad about this whole Nativity play fiasco. I told them what Amanda and I had planned on Friday and how excited we were about it. I had even gone to church early so I could talk to Father Tom, but Mrs. R. beat me to him and she planned the whole Nativity play out already – which includes her in the starring role as organist. So I was upset, and I told them that they didn’t need me to organize it because she already had. Then she made me look like a whiney brat not getting her way – only I never whine – and I’m only occasionally bratty and this wasn’t one of those occasions.

Well, I felt much better for having gotten it all out, but I was still stuck with having to work on the Nativity Play. Dad said he would talk to Father Tom and I went for a nap, just like I was in kindergarten again.

When I woke up it was time for supper and I started panicking all over again, because I’d wasted the day, but Mom and Dad were really nice and calmed me down. David had made the most delicious chili – but mountains of it. And his special double chocolate brownies with the gooey marshmallow middles that I adore – two huge pans of it and I was just asking why he had made so much when the doorbell rang and guess who was there?

JACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My daddy went and got Jack for me to cheer me up!! Jack and chocolate on the same evening!!! I truly would have swooned if Mom hadn’t handed me the tray of ice cubes and told me to fill the pitcher with ice water. That cooled me right down. I was so grateful to my mom.

And then Bobby showed up and Myles (and Gracie, his dog) and Tara and – tadada (trumpet blare) – Sue and Lucy came with AMANDA!!!!!!!!!!!

We had an incredible rowdy dinner – there was even some food throwing which Bobby started (who else?) but he kept insisting it was Myles. And Mom didn’t yell at them or anything, like she does when David and I get into pea fights. I always take that opportunity to tell her that if we had a dog, she wouldn’t mind the food fights because the dog would clean up. Maybe she didn’t mind tonight because Levi and Gracie were here to do the cleaning up. They did a very thorough job.

After dinner is when it happened! Myles went out to his car and came back with a white board on an easel and set it up in the living room. Then he boomed out: “Listen up people, we have a serious time sensitive case that’s just come up. And we’ve called in a special task force, headed by Agent Tanya Gans.”

‘Course I didn’t know what was going on when everyone cheered but I was quite willing to allow Jack to pull me to my feet and lead me up to the white board. That’s where he pinned me. Oh – it wasn’t a corsage – way better – they’d made me an FBI pin (well Sue and Lucy did) out of a real FBI badge.

So there I was in front of everybody getting pinned by Jack – I was woefully aware of my inadequate bosom…I am so hoping for new developments in that area; sometime soon would be nice! But Jack was a real gentleman and made no degrading comments – the same can’t be said for the males in the ninth grade at St. Jerome High School.

I nearly swooned again, but Myles put a steadying hand on my back and whispered in my ear “breathe” which helped me focus and I don’t think anyone else noticed. Myles is quite a sensitive guy when you get to know him.

Then Bobby got up and he wrote on the Whiteboard, Operation Nativity while Myles drew this hysterical picture of Mrs. R. with green skin – she looked like a cross between the grinch and the wicked witch of the west. Myles is a very good cartoonist – the likeness was remarkable and he has never even met her! Myles said that Mrs. R. is our primary suspect – trying to take the cheer out of Tanya’s Christmas and that she must be stopped at all costs. He said it in this very television anchorman type of voice. I told him afterwards he could get a job on CNN and he seemed quite pleased.

Then we got down to business. I had to explain my vision to the whole room full of adults – which was pretty terrifying. I made Amanda come up with me – since we had thought this up together. It was great because she was able to speak with Sue there to translate. She was more animated then I’d seen her before; and happier.

Tanya’s and Amanda’s Really Excellent Nativity Play Ideas

1. Outdoor nativity pageant.
2. Church organ won’t fit outdoors (so neither will Mrs. R.)
3. Entire pageant to be performed in ASL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Amanda will be the narrator (we’re thinking angel)
5. Everyone else will just have to act – no lines to learn
6. We’ll have an ASL choir perform Silent Night
7. Hot chocolate and cookies afterwards

We really want live animals but all the adults thought that would be a bit over the top – and hard to organize last minute.

Dad talked to Father Tom this afternoon while I slept and he’s all for it. Father Tom’s assignment is to break the news to Mrs. R.

Tara had made lists and she posted them up all over the living room and then everyone on the team got to volunteer to be in charge of one area.

David is in charge of the refreshments but there was a hasty vote and it was unanimous – I have to promise to stay out of the kitchen! Amanda is going to help David (and it’s kind of cute, but I think David has a crush on her!) and my Mom and Lucy and Sue are going to help too.

Jack and Bobby are doing set design.

Myles is organizing what he mysteriously called “outside contractors” but he won’t tell us what that is – it’s ‘classified’.

Tara is doing the programs and generally helping out – though Jack and Bobby said they didn’t want her wielding a hammer around them after the football fiasco last week.

Sue says she has a friend we can borrow costumes from and she’s going to direct the ASL choir.

I have to drum up the talent – Amanda said she’d help.

We are all responsible for making sure that Mrs. R. doesn’t figure out what’s happening before it’s too late for her to put a stop to it.

And the best part of all of this – Divine Intervention. I mean, didn’t I just say a few days ago that I was going to leave the Jack/Tanya/Sue triangle in His hands? And now here He is – throwing us together all the time!!! Our house is the Christmas bullpen!!!! ‘Course Sue and Jack will be spending all their spare time together now too. That means she gets him all day and nearly all night. That’s an unfair advantage. I wonder if God is trying to tell me something?

The whole evening wrapped up by nine o’clock – but I’ll get to see Jack pretty much every day this week (and Sue too, of course).

Mrs. R.’s rules

1. Journal – I think I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome
2. Good deed – I am not letting on that I know my parent’s are manipulating the situation to their advantage – they don’t have to renege on their grounding rule – but they don’t have to feel guilty about me missing out on Christmas stuff. They’ve made sure all it’s all coming to me instead!
3. Character flaw: too swoonable when Jack’s around. Cure? None in the foreseeable future – thank goodness!

Boomer

:laughs: That was too funny. What a post to wake up to. I am loving Tanya more and more as it goes. She's just such a riot.

heheheheh maybe J/S are meant to be.............maybe not...according to Tanya..........

Kav, you have no idea how much I love this story! I end up laughing aloud every time I read it! My brother asked what was so funny (he's eleven) as I laughed about Tanya's inadequate bosom. hehe. I just said it was a very funny story, because I wasn't going to go into all that with him.

I love how the team is trying to accept Tanya and giving her the time of her life. Maybe if they knew the whole story about Tanya's misadventures, they'd REALLY take Mrs. R down. :whistling: It seems that she really does have it in for Tanya! She's definitely coming down hard, from anyone's perspective.

Keep up the fantastic job! I love how Myles stepped in to help Tanya... conquer her swoonable nature, at least for a moment. If he could pick up on it, I wonder if the entire team knows.

Anyway, I'm glad that Tanya's coming closer and closer to enjoying the idea of Sue and Jack together. It reminds me of PE class... yes, I know that was random, but let me explain. We've been doing... drumroll... HULA in my PE class (can you believe it?) and our teacher told us about what she calls 'Aloha Spirit', which is basically being totally selfless and accomodating. Her example was when she first moved to Hawaii, she asked someone for directions somewhere and they not only told her how to get there, but drove her there, all the way across down. And, the 'director' ended up being twenty minutes late for work. But, the boss didn't even care since they all are so willing to help others, that they get all excited when you say you went out of your way to do so. Anyway, what this really lengthy paragraph is getting at is I think I see some aloha spirit in Tanya. She wants to let go and let Sue have Jack, in her heart, but at the same time he is just too gosh darn handsome to do so. And, I couldn't agree more with that latter part.

Keep up the excellent work!!

Oh, and Aloha, everyone!!!

That was probably may favourite part of todays post. But its so hard to tell! Loving it all! :laughs:

I don't think I can begin to describe how much I laughed through this whole thing! Quite honestly, it is the perfect embodiment of a child in Tanya's situation. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out exactly who she was and therefore who her parents were but it worked out in the end! Awesome, awesome job. Can't wait to read some more!

SO funny! So funny!

Fun stuff! I love it that the team is pitching in to help Tanya get the Nativity play planned. And I can really picture Amanda as an angel! But this was my favorite line:

No kidding! (Kav, I'm having such fun choosing my favorite line from each of your posts! And believe me...it's not easy.)

Kav I want to thank you for making me laugh myself silly with this story. I've really needed it. Your writing is absolutely wonderful.

Awesome job! It is so funny and cute! I'm really enjoying reading this

Please add more soon

VERY TRUE!!!


KAV- this is GOOD!!!!