hmm ok Im doing another story in BC at the same time but Im gonna give this a shot !!!!

Doubt. It had invaded her life, corroded her mind and very nearly destroyed the relationship she desired most of all even though she had been warned against doubt’s insidious attacks all her life.

“It’s the curse the women of this family have to bear,” her Nona had warned over and over again. “Don’t allow yourself to become its prey, for it will ensnare you, suffocate you, suck the life right out of you, leaving you paralyzed with fear…” Her grandmother loved melodrama, but in this case she had spoken the truth.

That was exactly how she felt lately and it had all started with an innocent jest in the bullpen. She knew better than to let it get the best of her, and yet she’d been behaving like an innocent bystander while she watched Doubt chip away at her self-esteem and then her confidence. What would be next? Loosing Nona, had been the biggest blow. The feisty lady had died in her sleep two weeks ago and her affairs had been wrappe
It wasn’t that the old lady had many earthly possessions to bequeath. She hadn’t been a rich woman and she hadn’t been prone to holding on to things that didn’t have sentimental value. She had lived in a modest one-bedroom apartment over a dry cleaners for the last twenty years. Nona had enjoyed a Spartan life style and there was very little to settle after the funeral.

Family members had gathered in the little apartment for the last time as they stoically bore the reading of None’s will which listed the distribution of her odd assortment of valueless keepsakes. To the very end, her grandmother had maintained her sense of humour.

To my nephew, Martin, I give my hand lawn mower, though the blade is nicked in three places and the handle is loose. May he enjoy the fruit of his labors as he breaks a sweat for the first time in his pampered life. May he learn the value of hard work and the priceless contribution our simple laborers make to improve our world.

Martin had been unimpressed and had dumped the mower at the local Salvation Army store on the way out of town.

To my dear daughter I leave my entire set of 1964 Encyclopedias even though most of the interesting pictures have been cut out -- by your own hand, my darling, for one project or another over your school years. This so that you may you take to heart the old adage, what goes around comes around.

To my sweet grand daughter, still intent on finding her place in this world, I leave the Family Heirloom Recipe Book. May the courage and wisdom of our numerous ancestors ease her mind and penetrate her heart and uplift her future…

She hefted the thick tome onto the kitchen counter and stared at it uncertainly. It had always held the place of honour on the top right hand side of Nona’s kitchen bookcase. She had never taken an interest in the contents, though she had seen both her mother and her grandmother adding notations along the margins of the worn pages from time to time. Now it belonged to her – this piece of family history.

She brushed her finger along the gilded edges of the worn pages. Most of the gold had rubbed off from overuse, but the luster still shone from the binding. The heart of this family lies within these pages. Guard it well and liberally add love. The leather crackled as she opened the book. As was her custom with every book she read, she peeked at the last page first and then gasped as she read the spidery scrawl of the final entry.

Darling,

For once in your life, start at the beginning. Find your connection with the women of your past and you will finally connect with your future.

Nona

Disgruntled, she obediently flipped to the front of the book, skimming as the pages fluttered by. There were many notations written in the margins. Everything from practical advice; use less flour for crunchier cookie, to laundry tips; use left over lemon juice to lift strawberry stains from baby’s bib. She laughed out loud at one of the earliest notations from a kindred spirit; note to self; pluck pheasant before braising. She stopped laughing however when she reached the title page.

Here in lie the ingredients necessary to complete your own Recipe for Happiness. Savor and enjoy!


Typical Nonna! Tara Laughed to herself ... She always knew how to make life better from a Hug to a cup of cammomile tea to double chocolate and cherry muffins... ooh wonder if that recipe is in here.... Tara thought sidetracked a little comment a note in the post when she felt low Nonna knew when Tara was sad and how to fix it.

Tara sighed sadly as she realised that , tht wouldnt happen anymore but then got the giggles as she looked lower down that title page and saw Nonna's clear handwriting spell out a Recipe for happiness

RECIPE FOR HAPPINESS

1 YOU
A SCOOP OF SENSE OF HUMOUR
A HANDFUL OF GOOD FRIENDS
A JOB THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY - EVEN WHEN ITS SAD TO DO
A LIFE FILLED WITH FAITH
A LOVING CARING TRUSTWORTHY MAN ...

TARA DARLING YOU HQAVE THE FIRST FIVE I'VE SEEN THAT BUT LOOK AND LOOKHARD FOR INGREDIENT NUMBER SIX THEY'RE VERY RARE BUT THER'E ONE OUT THERE FOR YOU FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE YOU AS HAPPY AS PAPPA MADE ME ....

YOU MAKE ME VERY PROUD DARLING
I LOVE YOU
NONNA

When Tara got to the end of the recipe note she was sobbing she missed Nonna and Pappa and mum ... she'd lived with Nonna and Pappa and they were her world but that not hurt more because though she shared most of her life with her Nonna she had never shared wahat a Recipe for Disaster her love life was.

What a perfect choice for this option, Carrijackfan!

I can't think of a better character than Tara who has encountered so many disasterous dates. Can't wait to see where this goes!

Will the love of her life she finally encounters be Bobby? Myles? Or will you introduce an entirely new character? I bet it will be a bumpy ride and give us lots of laughs, thrills, angst, tears and, hopefully, in the end, lots and lots of warm fuzzies!

Lynn

Great begining, can't wait for more!!!!

Yay! A Tara story...fantastic choice!

This looks great hun i can't wait to read more

Love your Recipe for Happiness:

Especially love that the first ingredient is YOU! Can't wait to read more.

kav

I so love that recipe that I will clip it on my fridge.


Tara, don't despair and open your eyes

great start

cath

I love the way you started, this intro really suits Tara's character. I also really love your recipe for happiness.

Jaynie

Well Tara, looks like your Nona has sent you on a mission! Thinking about the title Looking forward to see where you take us with this!

um ok didnt expect such a good response am very pleased. thanks for all your responses

As Tara sat on the sofa hugging the book and the last remnants of all that Nonna meant to her tears shaking her petite body and reddening her cheeks when there was a knock at the door.
placing the book onto the sofa she scrubbed at her eyes with her hands and stumbled to the door and unlocked and looked up straight into a dimpled smile.

"hey sheila you need a hug?" he questioned stepping in to the apartment unasked
She nodded unable to speak for fear the tears would start again.
"the reading tough?" he asked

he remembered he knew he understood ... he was such a great friend she thought

"not exactly it was typical Nonna something that the three of us nedded to hear you know she told off uncle Martin well he's not exactly my uncle but thats what I called him when I was a little girl and had a loving tease for aunty Bella now she really is my aunty my mum Francesca' was her little sister and she ..she"

at this point Tara's voice went all hiccuppy andtears ran down her face but she took a deep breath and continued making a decision to be strong and keep going like Nonna always taught her.

"she left me the old family recipe book its this huge book a scrap book of recipes and advice and well Nonna she wrote me a message in the front and thats what made me cry cos' she knew so much about me but I never told her what a recipe for disaster my life was............" Tara broke down fullyt this time and sobbed all over bobbys shoulder but he just held her stroking her back wanting to take away her pain and knowing that in his own stupidity he had contributed to it ... he wanted to slap himself ... to turn back time ... to not have pulled away ... to have not said what he did to have kissed her and stayed with her not chased Darcy breaking her heart and his in the process ... He should have chosen her his life was as much of a recipe for sadness as hers was one of disaster .... He couldnt cook but maybe just maybe he could fix theses recipes and together they could make a recipe for happiness

Loved this line!
Bobby is really a good friend. A handsome good friend...

Ornella

i think two disasters could become one romance

cath

Oh -- I like this new math: 1 recipe for disaster + 1 recipe for disaster = 1 recipe for a life filled with happiness. Of course the ingredients have to be measured accurately -- and the blending is very important...Bobby should take note of that. This is great. I love it!

kav

That definately describes Bobby and maybe while she's going through this, she can finally see that there is more in his eyes than just friendship.

Bobby can make her see this....once he decides to try! He just needs a little push to get him to try! Maybe this vulnerable Tara is that push? Let's hope so!

Lynn

Yes, a tall, sweet, handsome good friend.

ok I didnt intend to post again today but why not!

A short while later Tara was feeling alot better and Bobby headed out and home leaving Tara muchhappier as she curled and wrote her diary.

Dear Diary

It was the reading for Nonna's will today and she left me THE BOOK the family recipe book that was the part of any family gathering and would have been mum's if she'd lived long enough..... uncle martin got her lawn mower and a telling off for being lazy and aunty bella got all the encyclopaedias that she'd mangled over the years Nonna wrote me a special message in the book and Im going to copy it here

RECIPE FOR HAPPINESS

1 YOU
A SCOOP OF SENSE OF HUMOUR
A HANDFUL OF GOOD FRIENDS
A JOB THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY - EVEN WHEN ITS SAD TO DO
A LIFE FILLED WITH FAITH
A LOVING CARING TRUSTWORTHY MAN ...

She said I had all these bar the man and how right she was Im happy in life have the most amazing friends anyone could wish for a great job and Im in a great church I couldnt be happier except it still feels like somethings missing ... A guy my love life is a recipe for disaster and the recipe looks a little like this

ARecipe for a Disastrous lovelife

Take 1 small computer geek agent with not so great looks.
Add the insanity of the Job
Add 1 long distance on and off relationship with an NSA agent
ADD 1 extremely gorgeous action megastar witha a crush on said computer geek
Add one great friend completely gorgeous Aussie FBI agent who geeky agent has secret crush on
ADD his girlfriend upsetting him and leaving for LA
Plus a handful of FBI Beaurocracy(sp)
and stir hard

and there you hae it the perfect recipe for a disastrous love life Tara Williams style!

Why is life so complicated and why is Nonna not here and able to fix it like she always did.

Tara



Meanwhile in Bobbys apartment elsewhere in DC he is also writing his diary

She was such a mess .. so sad her Nonna and Pappa brought her up and she misses them ... she didnt say what her Nonna had written but she was so so sad and I couldt fix it so I hugged her I didnt know what else to do and that will hardly have fixed it ... she claims her lovelife is a recipe for disaster and well it is and thats partly my fault but my life is such a mess and full of my own sadness I only seem to be able to hurt people My life has been a recipe for sadness for such long time I dont know if it can change but Im going to try and see if I can help Tara in the process

Bobby mannings Recipe for Sadness

Take one small 1/2 American 1/2 Austrailian guy
Add his idiotic criminal and deserting Dad
Add a Gambling problem
Add an ex girlfriend who broke his heart
Sprinkle in a crush on a fellow agent which cant go anywhere
Stir and bake for a very long time
and there you have it my life of sadness and deaspair

well ok to fix it
forget about mac I have pops now and he is amazing what mac did hurt but I and mom got pops so it wasnt all bad.
The gambling problem Im ok I go to GA at least once a month and Jack helps me but noone else knows and well its still a pull.
Darcy ugh She hurt me I could have had something good with her I loved her and thought she loved me I was scared to leave what I knew and the stability I had with Jack Tara Myles Luce Sue D levi ........ They're family thats important.
And last and worse I care about Tara have done for a lng time and I cant tell her I dont know why but I dream about the one brief kiss we shared and hope always for another its consuming me and I need to sort it.

I love that they both have the same feelings for each other and that they both write in their diaries. So cute!

Very cute post!!!!!! Can't wait for more, love the "recipes!"

All those recipes are amazing!!!

so sad but full of promise

cath

Love the way you're incorporating your unique recipes into this story. And at least we know that both Tara and Bobby are on the same wavelength -- at least on paper.

kav

I just caught up on your story and I love it so far!!!

I love your recipes!! And, I think that if Bobby and Tara put their two recipes together, as Kav pointed out, they will be on their way to a recipe for happiness!!!

Can't wait to see where you are taking us!!!

Joy

Great recipes, though I think both could use a bit of tweaking. I think the more time Bobby and Tara spend together, the happier they'll both be and the better their recipes can come together.

The next day (the bullpen)

Tara sat behind her desk working when Bobby walked in and seeing her came over.

"hey luv you feeling better today" he asked gently with a dimpled smile
"yes thanks Bobby lots better you really helped thanks for being there"
"no problem... what are friends for" he grinned then headed over to his desk for a day of his favourite kind of work... paperwork.

around 11.45

Tara was working at her computer when a pop up appeared on the screen

TarWil has an IM Msg from BobMan

BobMan Hey wot u doing 4 lunch

TarWil No plans y?

BobMan wondered if u wanted to join me ... Im paying aslast night was cut short thort u might still need to tlk

TarWil yeah that would be gud 12.30 good for you ... and Bobby anywhere but slappys!!!

BobMan good for me and ok its ur choice aslong as its not Myles favourite frou frou french place

TarWil wouldnt inflict that on you I dont hate you.... um the mexican on 8th is good if you can take the heat??

BobMan Iwas born to take the heat luv ... meet you by the lift at 12.30 then

BobMan has left the conversation


Tara smiled to herself behind the computer Bobby was taking her for lunch at his suggestion ... I mean he was only being friendly and it was as a friend but still........ she sat smiling and fingering the "recipe" she'd copied out on to notepaper to remind her of the good things she had and what she needed to get ... though how she was to get a man when the man of her dreams saw her as a friend he wanted to protect and there was a bundle of red tape in the way she didnt know ... she couldnt be happy with anyone else could she????

Across the bullpen Bobby was doing a rather good cheshire cat impression... he was going to lunch with Tara ./.. ok he was paying and she was probably only coming for the free food but he was still getting to spend time with her.... he fingered the folded piece of notpaper in his pocket thinking of what he'd written on it and how and what he could fix .... he couldnt tell her though not right now it would be taking advantage of her grief and anyway he admonished himself she sees you as a friend a big brother not a lover

Yes, I think it would be very good if these two talked..........really talked!!!

Joy

Loved this part!

This is great! Can't wait for more!

Em

these two really need to talk

cath

This is sooo coool! I love this story...more please

Will be interesting to see how the lunch goes...

Loved the IM conversation. They are so cute Yes, they need to talk.

Carrie, this is great! I loved their individual recipes for their lives and how they were on the same page without even knowing it.

Yeah, I don't know why, but this part just made me

Hi!

Just caught up on your story and already love it.

Can't wait to read more!

O'seam

The time came for Tara and Bobby to go for Lunch and they headed out and went to the restaurant and sat at the table.

"hey Juan can we have two pineapple juices please come get our food orders in a bit" Tara smiled at a rather good looking young mexican man

"Sure Tara" the waiter smiled at her with what bobby saw as a hint of longing

"So " Bobby asked "whats the story with waiter boy?"

"There is no story Im a regular here thats all... he's ,known me for years his parents are the owners and he's only 23 Bobby he's nearly 7 years younger than me yes he has a crush but thats all you dont have to go all protective on me"

"ok ... and I wasnt I was just interested cause of the way he loked at you ... and us"

"That would be because I havent come here with anyone before......."

"So Im priveleges then???"

"very Bobby anyway beef fajita's yes?"

"yeah good plan"

"your sure you can take the heat "

"I told you luv I was born to take the heat...." he flashed his dimples at her

"good " she smiled mouthed her order to Juan and then turned back to Bobby "anyway you wanted to know about Nonna and everyone....."

"yes.... I do If you want to "

"I would but could we do it tonight come round to mine for dinner tonight I'll cook we can ttalk"

"I cant" Bobby said shortly

"Why?" she asked wanting a reason doubting herself

"I just cant.... can we change the subject..."

"why not " she forced a smile on to her face... " Jack and Sue thats a safe subject"

I think Bobby is a little jealous - I know Juan is!!!

Why can't Bobby have dinner with Tara tonight - does he have a GA meeting???

Joy

That's what I'm thinking too.

cath

Oh, I was thinking about GA meeting too. Why else would he say he can't when he's been thinking about her at work?

kav

I can't think of anything else Bobby would miss dinner with Tara over and not want to tell her why, other than the GA meeting. Bad timing. Hmm, Bobby, don't change the subject, just change the date

Hmmm... he's going to have to tell her about the GA meetings some time. Maybe it could turn out to be like AA when you can bring a friend to support you through your meeting... at least, I think that's what you can do... I've never actually been to an AA meeting, so I wouldn't really know.... we could always pretend, though, right?

Yeah - Anne you're so right!!!

O'seam

The afternoon came and went smoothly though the others all sensed some tension between the two but were'nt sure why and simply put it down to Tara's grief.
The evening came and it was time to leave work and they departed in trickles .... Till Tara headed down followed by Bobby Myles had left shortly before and they were the last to go.

Tara sat in her car and tried to start it revving the engine it refused to start , so she stopped paused and started again Then sighed and rested her head in her hands fed up... the car appeared to be dead ... and she had no spare cash to get it fixed even if charlie gave her an offer as a friend she relied on a car but what could she do she had enough money t pay her rent her bills her food and have some spare but not enough for car repairs.

There was a tap on her car window and she looked up and saw Bobby. What did he want he'd blown her off for the evening didnt he have somewhere better to be... probably seeing a Darcy clone... she breathed and calmed herself... why was she gettinng jealous there was nothing between them anyway.
She opened the door and smiled at him.

"you having some car trouble luv"

"yeah it wont start and its got petrol and oil and everything it was fine this morning ...."

"hmmm Im not great with car's ... lock it up and I'll drop you home you dont want to hang around now you can call Charlie and he or Troy can come out tomorrow I'll bring you in then..."#

"Thanks Bobby I've had enough today I just want to go home" she sighed sadly.

They reached Tara's aparrtment and she smiled at him

"thanks so much for the lift your a life saver... do you have time to come in for a coffee or do you have to be somewhere?" she said with a hint of resentment in her voice.

" I dont yet know I have to be there by 8 so I'll need to leave by 7.30 but we've got time"

They went in dumping jackets on the sofa and sat chattering like they always did happily enjoying one anothers company for friendship and for deeper reasons that neither was willing to reveal.

The time came for Bobby to leave and he grabbed his jacket not noticing the folded piece of notepaper fall to the floor as he left and headed across the city.
Tara was left alone and busily started to tidy up when she saw the paer and thinking it was her own bit of paper as they looked the same she sat on the sofa and opened it to look at it.

Her face blanched as she read it and guilt washed over her for prying but as she started to reach the end she smiled then picked up her phone.]

"um hi bobby Tara here um you dropped your um recipe in my place must have fallen out We need to Talk come over when you get this message dont worry what time it is. Just come over I mean it!see you then!"

She sat head in hands they had to deal with this and well who knew what would come of it

Oh, good. They really do need to talk.

It's perfect that Bobby dropped that note!! Now they will talk!!!

Joy

I wonder if dropping the note was a Freudian slip.

Yes, talk over the recipe's. Woohoo!

Hmmm... could be... wasn't it Freud who said there are no such things as accidents? Or something along those lines? -scratches head-