I don't know if I can do two stories at once, in different eras, but here goes nothing.

Author's note: No animals, real or stuffed, were actually harmed in the making of this fanfic.

~*~*~*~

My Funny Valentine

“Get out!” Winnie-the-Pooh bounced off the door frame and made two more bounces on the cream colored carpet before coming to a stop at Bobby Manning’s feet.

“Tara, it’s not what you think. I . . .”

Tara held Tigger aloft ready to launch him directly at the person she’d referred to as the man-of-her-dreams only an hour before. “You have to the count of three!”

“Tara, just let me explain!”

“ONE, TWO, . . .”

Bobby held up his hands in surrender. “Okay. Okay. I’m going.” He paused at the door, turned towards her, and almost said something. Instead, Tara’s tear-filled, accusing glare galled him. She was almost daring him to open his mouth. If that was how she was going to be, then so be it. He met her eyes stubbornly, squared his shoulders, and marched from the apartment, slamming the thin door behind him.

He was certain he heard Tigger hit the back of the door.

Another

Lorna is writing a challenge story! And I'm sure you're up to the challenge!

Now, what has gotten Tara so riled up? Can't wait to find out.

Lynn

I don't see anything funny trowing a Winnie the Pooh
Ok, seriously, what's up with Tara & Bobby??
Josy

Oh boy! I'm belted in and ready to go!

Kim

Oh Bother...!

Guess we need to go to the thinking spot, eh Tara girl... hang out out with the old buddy bear for a while?

I sure hope that he wasn't a bit rumbly in the tumbly when he hit the door.

And it's quite a good thing that Tiggerses have topses made out of rubber and bottoms made out of springs if she's going to take aim at Bobby and let Tigger fly after he shuts the door...



BOBBY MANNING!

Just what did you do...?!?!?!!!?

Any story that starts with Winnie the Pooh and Tigger is a great story!!!

I'm excited that you have entered the challenge, Oreo, and can't wait to see where we are headed!! Hopefully, this is just a lovers' spat between Bobby and Tara!!!

Joy

yikes . . .!

And what did Bobby do exactly???

Chapter 1

"Why is a computer the best Valentine?
A computer can wait for you forever.
A computer does not mind if you have a computer at home and in your office.
A computer does not compare you with its past users.
A computer won’t say let’s just be friends.
You can mute a computer whenever you want.
It’s easy to turn on a computer.
You never have to say sorry no matter what you do to it.
You don’t have to give it expensive valentine gifts, bday gifts, anniversary gifts.
You can upgrade your computer if you are not satisfied with its performance or specifications.
Then, there is always ctrl alt del."


Gathering Pooh and Tigger into her arms, Tara apologized to each of them and smoothed their rumpled coats. She tugged Pooh’s t-shirt over his rounded tummy and pressed him to her tear dampened cheek. She muttered something about Bobby which had her considering covering Pooh’s ears, but decided that was going too far -- even for her. She dropped onto her couch and fisted a wad of tissues. How could a day that started out with such promise end so badly?

This morning, she’d experienced two miracles before 7:30; she was on time and she had a really good hair day. To top things off, Bobby had shown up at her apartment bearing a double chocolate mocha caramel latte and had given her an equally delicious kiss that had her wishing they could call in sick for the month.

By noon, they’d wrapped up a case the team had worked on for almost a month, and Myles had treated them all to a celebratory lunch “out of the goodness of his heart” – at least that was what Bobby had told her.

Bobby. When she walked into the bullpen, why didn’t he march her right back out and in front of bus like any good boyfriend would do? “No, not charming Bobby Manning. He stood up and smiled at her – with that smile that belongs to me! He had the audacity to look happy that she was there. He didn’t look surprised either. He probably has been talking to her all along.”

A new thought popped into Tara’s mind. She could check his phone records.



Half an hour later, Tara had gone from broken-hearted to miserable to furious in record time. The phone records didn’t lie. Darcy had called Bobby’s house two days ago. He had returned her call, and now, here she was all tall and pretty and Darcy-ish.

Maybe she could throw water on her, and she would shrivel and die. It worked for Dorothy.

Tara swiped the tears from her eyes. “But Kansas is a long way from Washington, D.C.”

Maybe she should give Bobby a chance to explain... *Don't throw tomatoes at me*

Poor Tara! Hey, I think I could scrounge up a bucket of water if she wants to give her idea a try!

Kim

Oh dear...!

Tara sweetie. There is a new mantra for you, I think... **taps fingers against forehead muttering 'think, think, think.**

Now... Take a deep breath and repeat after me...

~I will not access my boyfriend's phone records without substantial evidence... I will not access my boyfriend's phone records without substantial evidence...~

And then the next one...

~I will throw Darcy D'Angelo under the next bus that passes the Hoover building myself because I do not need him to do everything for me... I will throw Darcy D'Angelo under the next bus that passes the Hoover building myself because I do not need him to do everything for me... ~

Oh Tara... maybe you should sleep on it a bit...

Bobby... how could you...!

mione -- you are baaaaaaaadddddddd...but with very good ideas! Make it one of those big, heavy duty charter buses! Oreo, you had me in a tizzy with your projectile Hundred Acre Woods characters! Luckily I read your disclaimer before hand...though I'm thinking we might have to put it in your title area -- you know like when we warn innocent readers about character death? I'm glad Tara apologized to Winnie and Tigger and am grateful to mione for pointing out the strengths of bouncing tiggers, which settled me some more. Sigh....am I rambling? I always ramble when I witness something as horrific as hurling stuffed animals. When I was a little girl and my sister was really mad at me (which was hardly ever because I was so angelic) she used to beat up my teddy bears. It destroyed me, I'll have you know...and oreo, you just gave me flashbacks!

kav

O dear!!!
Oreo, thanks for the good laugh before I start my day..what a way!!
Now, Tara, take a biiiiiiigggggg breath...that's right...and think.
Bobby cannot be THAT bad so a discussion should take place between you two
Josy

Nope... I'm not going to throw tomatoes at you. I agree with you. There was probably a really good reason for her to be there and to have called him... and for him to have called her. Maybe it all had something to do with Tara all along and she just doesn't think she can ever compare to Darcy, despite the fact that she's prettier, smarter, and has a much better personality (at least in my opinion).

Your "Valentine to a Computer" honestly slayed me this morning!!!! I have now, officially, started my day with a great laugh!!!!! Can't wait to see what happens next! Aren't Bobby and Tara fun to write?! Being a HUGE Winnie The Pooh fan (When I was little, my dad called me "GinaPooh"), I was hooked from the beginning!




Regina

Are you sure that Tigger and Pooh are okay...cuz I've got a stethoscope and can come and check on them, if need be!!!

Jill

Oh, Lorna - this is awesome! I loved the Valentine/Computer comparisons - ctrl/alt/del I am SO looking forward to more!!!

Tigger and Pooh are fine, but appreciate all of your well wishes for a speedy recovery.

Chapter 2

“Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!”

The chips were stale, the beer was warm, and every sappy television show reminded Bobby of one thing - actually one person. A beautiful, warm, brilliant, exciting, and funny woman that up until two hours ago was his. Somehow, his life had blown up in his face and he hadn’t even been given the chance to disarm the bomb.

To be honest, he had been as surprised as Tara when Darcy walked in. Sure, he’d spoken to her recently, but she hadn’t said anything about a trip to D.C. When she came into the bullpen, he forced a smile and greeted her. Their relationship had ended, but he had no intention of being rude to her. Darcy may have dumped him, but that didn’t mean he had to act like a drongo when she appeared. A man had to have some pride.

Pride. That’s what kept him from begging Tara to just talk to him. How dare she believe that he had something to do with Darcy’s appearance? Didn’t she know him better than that? They’d been in love for over half a year months. What was he saying? Their love had been growing for years, but if Tara honestly believed he would do something like that to her, maybe they weren’t ready for any of the plans he’d been considering. Maybe they weren’t right for one another after all. Maybe this was just Tara’s way of telling him his past – Darcy, gambling, Mac – was all just too painful for her.

Bobby downed the last of the warm beer and crushed the stale bag of chips in his hands. He found the cracking sound oddly gratifying, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to punch something – hard.

Ten minutes later, he was on his way to the gym. If he was lucky, a good long work-out would at least him exhausted enough to forget that Tara Williams and her squadron of flying stuffed characters from the Ten Acre Woods ever existed.

~*~*~*~*~
Sweat trickled down his back and into the waistband of his shorts, but he didn’t care. Uppercut, jab, hook – it made no difference. His muscles ached and knotted, but his anger and frustration had not ebbed.

When the familiar strains of “You Ain’t Nothing but a Hound Dog” told him his cell phone was ringing, he gave a final swing at the bag, snagged a towel from the bench, and opened the phone.

“Manning.” He felt a tug on his heart when the voice on the other end was Jack’s and not his Tara’s. The team leader was calling them all in on a terrorism case.

“I’m already here, mate. Yeah, I’m working out.”

He could tell from Jack’s response that his best mate didn’t buy that story. After all, Jack and Sue had been in the bullpen when Darcy appeared, and even if Jack had missed the change in the air, Sue would not have.

“I’ll be apples, mate, and no, we won’t let it effect the case.” He paused as Jack continued with his lecture. “Yes, Sparky, I remember the promise we made when D got it okayed for us to date within our team.” He let out a long, slow sigh. “Ease up, mate, I said I can handle it.”

Oreo, your whole post was priceless this morning!! I love the Computer Valentine!! I had never thought about that before, but you are absolutely correct!! In fact, I think I'm going to print that out and post it near my desk!!!

I bet Darcy doesn't even know who Tigger is!! Tara, please take note that Darcy called Bobby first!! I agree, you really should let him explain. And, then, if you don't like the explanation, throw them both in front of a bus!!!

Joy

Ooooh, I didn't think of the ramifications of Bobby and Tara having a fight - this could get awkward quickly!

I can't tell you how many times I would have loved a punching bag in the corner of my garage or something - sometimes it's just the best way to vent some frustrations! Especially when it's too cold out to cycle!

Oreo, you posted when I posted!! Poor Bobby!! He needs to forget his pride long enough to go to Tara and discuss this!!!

Joy

And Tara needs to let him explain!

Em

Oh, oh. I feel for the both of them. Things were so very rosy and then who should walk in but Darcy. Both of them have made an error, but it doesn't look like they are at all willing to talk.

Overjoyed that you decided to enter, Lorna!

Loved this





...Though if you've seen 'Wicked' the musical...

But I do agree with Marlo - she needs to let him explain....

Also loved



As I read the line, I heard 'Spitfire prelude & fugue' in my head and had a mental picture of this little fuzzy squadron, in formation, pooh in the lead...

I know... I have a warped imagination!

Anyway... looking forward eagerly for the next chapter!

The computer/valentine analysis...


I can SMELL that one from here!!!!



And the laughs just keep on comin'...

Great story Oreo... anytime someone can keep my attention when it isn't a Jack/Sue-centric story, it means it's extra-special-delicious-good.

Tina

Thanks you Lorna the laugh
OK, Bobby forget you pride and Tara...listen...shhhhh, really!!!
Josy

Bobby's having a lovely sulk! I love the analogy of a bomb exploding and he not having a chance to disarm it! I wonder if Sue prompted Jack to call? And now they're out of sorts and they have a case to work on under a microscope, it sounds like. We still don't know what possessed Darcy to show up but at least we know Bobby wasn't overjoyed to see her. Sigh. We need more, Oreo....lots more.

kav

I think a line from the classic movie Cool Hand Luke is appropriate at this time..."What we have here is a failure to communicate."

Kim

Oh dear! Too much emotion floating around. I think we need to reign that in.
thanks for a great post,
Terie

Poor Bobby, though it does ake me wish my punching bag was hanging up in my garage. Unfortunately, it's just sitting in the corner until we can make enough room to hang it up.

And Bobby has promised that it won't affect thsi case, but has Tara made the same promise?

Too bad that punching bag can't knock a little sense into Bobby!. ......or Tara for that matter, but you'd have to get her there first, and I think she's already done enough with the heave-hoeing of Pooh and Tigger. I mean, some things are sacred. Anyway, you've set up a tension-filled bullpen!

Jill

Chapter 3

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." Eddie, age 6
"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." Derrick, age 8

Puffy eyes do not go away in thirty minutes and Tara refused to try the remedy she Googled before she left. She didn’t care what they said. Preparation H should not go on your eyes. She hurried to hide behind the computer screen, but a quick glance up let her know that Sue was on to her distress. She sighed. She did need to talk to a friend, and Sue was the best listener around. She chuckled inside at her slip. But it’s true. Quite an amazing feat for a deaf person.

She could smell Bobby the minute he stepped into the room. She didn’t even need to look to know he was freshly showered as his sportsy cologne and shampoo always smelled strongest when he first put them on. Keep your eyes on the screen. Don’t look at him. His chair squeaked as he plopped into it, but he made no cheery greetings to the group. She felt his eyes raking over her, and she wanted to run from the room, run from the Hoover Building, and run from D.C. all together.

Myles stopped between the two of them and looked first at Bobby, then at Tara. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Shut up, Leland,” Bobby growled.

“Why don’t you two just kiss and make up so we can get on with our case?”
“Didn’t you hear, Bobby? Maybe Sue needs to sign it to you,” D added, pinning the agent with his eyes.

The added tension did nothing for the ache in Tara’s neck. She rubbed hit with her hand and watched as Jack stepped to the front of the room. “Speaking of cases, we have a doozy.” He passed out a sheet of paper to each of them. “Chatter was picked up that indicated several cities have been targeted.”

“Targeted for what, Sparky?”

“The attack isn’t specified.”

“Then, I’m guessing the cities aren’t either,” Tara added.

“Bingo. We are missing the who and the what, but not the when. According to the terrorist chatter, the attack is going to be on V-Day.”

Myles took a swig from his coffee mug. “Veterans Day? You called us in in the middle of the night to work on something that isn’t happening until next November?”

Jack’s shoulder’s sagged and Sue placed a hand on his arm. “Myles, what is today?”

“February 1.”

“And what happens on February fourteenth.”

“We get paid?”

“Leland!” Bobby bellowed. “No wonder you have a nonexistent love life. February 14th is Valentines Day!”

Myles squared his shoulders. “I knew that.”

D clapped his shoulder. “Of course you did.”

Tara held up the sheet of paper he passed out earlier. “So, let me guess. These numbers are the code for which cities they are going to hit.”

Jack nodded. “Why don’t you get started on that? Call Stanley if you need his help.”

“No!” Bobby said. To her secret delight, Tara could tell immediately he didn’t intend to sound so forceful. “After all, it’s the middle of the night. No need to wake the poor bloke. I’m certain we can all put our heads together and crack the code.”

Jack smiled. “I’m sure we can. Thanks for volunteering, Crash. You and Tara can have the conference room.”

With no soft object to throw in sight, Tara considered hefting her keyboard at Jack, but with her luck today, she’d probably break a nail.

Good thing this one doesn't sound like it requires love letters written in Arabic to Arif Dessa...

Tara'd have him attacking in no time...

Broken-hearted and attacking.

C'mon Bobby... help Tara into the conference room. ...

Sure, Myles... so you can take you're non-existent date out for dinner

Tara, I wouldn't try the remedy either and don't throw the poor keyboard, IT doesn't deserved it.



BTW, where do you get the quotes?

This is priceless !!!

Poor clueless Myles! A conference room and cracking a code...perhaps while they're in there, they can crack the code on how to communicate with each other.

Oreo, this is absolutely wonderful!

Kim

Oh, so true, Kim, and it seems to be a deepening problem as the day goes on...
Just TALK, guys!

Your chapter heading-quotes are wonderful too

This had me giggling, too


I could just hear them saying it!

Poor Bobby and Tara!

Em

Oreo, I love your quotes - out of the mouths of babes!!!

Well, this is going to be interesting - Bobby and Tara working together(?) on the code!!!

Joy

Lorna, you've captured the team perfectly in this scene. I could just see this play out and I'm crying right now because it's just so funny!

And I like how Jack made Tara and Bobby work together on cracking the code. If that doesn't get them to somehow make up, I don't think anything will... of course... it coudl just make matters worse, now couldn't it?

So, did Jack set them up on purpose, or by accident? Whichever, I wish I could be a little mouse in that conference room and listen/watch the fireworks!

Oh wait.... I CAN be in that conference room, and I don't have to grow a tail and whiskers! Right Oreo?

Tina

This is wonderful! I can't wait for more!

Sairs

O dear!!! Myles is priceless

Smart kid
Now, Tara, I agree too...that remedy, I wouldn't try either
Josy

Ch 1-P1 –

Oh my goodness, what great telepathy you have to read my mind so well!

Aw, so Tara is jealous of Darcy and that is why she threw poor Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger too! Now, I agree with Marlo, she should give Bobby a chance to explain! But, obviously, Bobby must have been trying to explain and failed miserably. Do we get to hear what he said?

Lynn

Ch 2-P2-19 – Oh, that post was so real Lorna, both in life and in Bobby’s character on the show, right down to telling Jack to ease up!

And my heart is breaking for him b/c now he's questioning whether Tara thinks she can handle his past and all his baggage. Why is it that when something goes wrong in our relationships we immediately feel insecure about ourselves. Probably no one is at fault here...it's just as Kim said, from Cool Hand Luke..."a failure to commmunicate!" Reading on to see if this gets better or worse....

Ch 3-P2-33 - Ah, been there, done that! It's not a pretty feeling and it doesn't solve anything! Poor Myles...is your love life so bad that in Feb V-Day means "Veterans Day"? Can't wait to read the reactions of the team on this one. Oh, the rest of this post was absolutely hilarious! Loved Myles' deadpan reaction to his snafu; loved Bobby's emphatic answer to calling Stanley in; and loved Jack assigning Bobby to assist Tara!

Loving this story Lorna! I've a feeling this is going to heat up fast!

Lynn

Whoo boy. I think that the sparks are gonna fly.

Chapter 4

After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.
What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package
and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled
"The Meaning of Dreams."

Bobby didn’t bother holding the door for her. He was afraid if he did, she’d push him through it – literally. Making the two of them work together had certainly put Jack on her bad list, probably right under his name.

“Let’s get one thing clear, Bobby Manning.” Tara set her laptop on the table with a thud and planted her fists on her hips. “I am putting up with your presence in this room because I have to. I do not want to discuss what happened today. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t even want you within a hundred yards of me right now. But I do want to go to bed, so let’s just get this done.”

“Fine. What do you want me to do?”

“Stay out of my way.”

“Fine.” Bobby dropped into a chair, propped his feet on the table, and crossed his hands over his chest. He watched her open the lap top and lay the sheet of numbers on the table. Every jerky movement she made told him how barely controlled her emotions were. Twice he started to say something, but her immediate glare silenced him. If that is how she wants it, then far be it from me to interfere. She’s the one who misunderstood. I didn’t do anything wrong.

Eyes squinting at the screen, she typed in various possibilities. A single tear trailed down her cheek but she brushed it away. He ached to wrap her in his arms, but now was not the time. They had a job to do and an office flare up could have either one of them sent to a new unit. She cast a glance his way, and he quickly feigned sleep.

“They don’t mean anything!” she suddenly exclaimed in frustration.

Bobby, who had dozed off, jumped. “Good grief, Tara. Scare a mate to death.”

She frowned at him. “Nice nap, Bobby?”

He didn’t miss the sarcasm in her voice. He scrubbed his face with his hands. “You said to stay out of your way. I take it that you haven’t had any luck with the numbers. What did you try?”

“I started with GPS coordinates, but unless they are going to attach the Sahara Desert, then that isn’t it. Then, I tried several alpha-numeric alga rhythms . . .”

“And?”

Her voice raised in frustration. “Zilch. Nada. Nothing. And don’t even pretend to know what an alpha-numeric alga rhythm is.”

“Hey, I watch Numb3rs.”

She sighed in defeat. “I don’t know what to try next. I guess it’s time to call Stanley.”

He leaned forward and took the paper in his hand. He studied the figures: 69201, 32741, 88256, 97010, 72136, 80538. As she reached for the phone, he put his hand on hers. “Not so fast, Luv. I know what these numbers mean.”



“Whoo hoo! We know what the numbers represent!” Bobby entered the bullpen waving the paper in the air.

“Give that to me!” Tara snapped. She snatched the paper from his hand and quickly sat at her computer. In a few seconds a map of the United States was on the screen. Various cities had been marked with tiny red hearts. I should have marked them with daggers dripping with blood.

Myles read the names and groaned. “Please tell me that this is some kind of Valentines Day joke.”

Bobby grinned cockily at her. She’d never noticed how full of himself Bobby could get. He stood up and pointed to the cities. “If what Intel picked up is on the up and up, then those are our targets. Valentine, Nebraska; Kissimmee, Florida; Loving, New Mexico; Bridal Veil, Oregon; Romance, Arkansas; and of course, Loveland, Colorado.”

“Are you certain?” Sue asked them.

“The numbers were zip codes,” Bobby announced with pride.

Jack passed Tara a fresh cup of coffee. “Good work, Tara. That’s quite a catch.”

Bobby met her eyes and grinned. He was going to make her admit it! “I didn’t do it,” she mumbled.

“What was that, Luv?”

“You did it!" she snapped. "Did everyone hear that, everyone? Bobby is the one who figured it out!”

Myles sat forward in his chair. “And I thought miracles only happened at Christmas.”

Tina

Tara's blowing this all way out of proportion and though I'm sure she has a reason to be so upset, it is kind of funny. Bobby's just being full of herself to get her goat.

But you know what would be really funny? If they had to finish those places and Bobby and Tara are sent to the one that really goes all out for Valentine's Day, you know the cheesy decorations and the love-is-in-the-air mentality. It would be torture for Tara, but I'm sure Bobby would enjoy every minute of it.

Good catch, Bobby - even though it didn't help the romance situation!

And I laughed out loud at

Perfect!