The Nomination: I'd like to nominate Romance@cyberspace.not by MizzN.

This original romantic comedy is sheer brillance! MizzN’s heroine, Hallie, captures the reader’s attention right from the start. She is funny, vulnerable, a little bit awkward (one might even call her a klutz) and totally lovable. Told in a combination of IM chats and ‘real life’, the humour had me laughing out loud. I’d love to see this one played out on the big screen – but for now we'll all have to settle for just reading it.

When Matt popped out of the blue (of the computer screen, that is) , I was strongly tempted to ignore him. He had been a frequent visitor at my blogsite and expressed a desire for a more one-to-one interaction. He’d left his email address should I be interested. Seeing no harm in that at first, I responded and we emailed back and forth. But emailing, it seemed was not personal enough for Matt. When his subtle hints that he be invited to my IM chat sailed right past me, he decided a direct approach was imperative. And boy was he persistent.

Now… don’t get me wrong. I am a friendly enough person, if I do say so myself. But I try not to make a habit of liberally opening up such direct communication with any Tom, Dick or Harry who bugs me for my time. Unless I can trace their connection to any of my acquaintances or relatives, I try not to get too personal.

However, if the case be Tom, Brad and/or Yannick who’s seeking my acquaintance… well… that’s a whole different matter altogether.

Uhm, but I digress…

Back to Matt. Being that I couldn’t connect him to anyone I know, I was more than wary about giving in to his annoying request. A quick consult with a friend, CT (full-nick Coconut Tree ), on the other side of the ocean on a tiny dot of an island, I was enthusiastically encouraged to carve Matt a little time from my busy schedule of netsurfing and IMing.

Now here comes one of life’s invaluable lessons. I learn that unless you are Meg Ryan and You’ve Got Mail from a cute, albeit a little on the puffy side, Tom Hanks… getting messages in RL (real life) from a disembodied RealVinDiesel, a.k.a Matt Whatsisface, does not necessarily guarantee a romance in the making that hopefully leads to a live-happily-ever-after kind of ending.

Oh, if only reel life has a habit of spilling into real life…

After much persuasion from a disturbingly charged-up CT, I let Matt pop his nick into my IM window. Grudgingly, mind you. But Matt in real–time convo proved himself not to be the exasperating pest that I was expecting. Pleasantly surprised, it seemed my initial reservation was unfounded. And like the decent guy I’d hoped he was, Matt asked all the pertinent questions about me. Flattered, I began to warm up to him and to our conversation. He was fun, amusing and charming…

For all of fifteen minutes.

And then he dropped the bomb—

RealVinDiesel says : So… hotstuff … what’s your vital statistics like?You look hot in that pic in your blog. I’d like to meet you… you know… face to face. Maybe we can have fun together.

Needless to say, I was suitably outraged. Dream-cloud no. 9 burst. My tumble from fluffland was a heavy and cruel one.

Of all the insufferable—! What the bloody hell did he think I was!?The floozy that popped out of the cake?What was he expecting when we met? A lap dance?

I exploded with righteous feminine indignation. My slouching frame jerked up at the flagrant affront. My mind buzzed with an arsenal of verbal nuclear warhead missiles to launch into Matt’s pathetically small neanderthal brain. It had to be small, hadn’t it, if evolution had for some reason decided to bypass him altogether and left him with an intellect of a baboon ?

But Mom’s irritating censure strangely chose that moment to rebound in my head.

“Your ex wouldn’t be your ex if you’d have engaged your brain before opening your mouth! I would have had three grandchildren by now if you’d practised more tact!”

Sometimes, I wondered if it was my mom who should be having the relationship with my ex. She couldn’t seem to get over him and kept harping over my breakup with the two-timing lowlife any chance she got. Of course, I didn’t tell her that he’d been fooling around with my cousin while he was supposed to be mine exclusively.

I forced calm into my system. Engage my brain before my tongue. Sure, I could do that.

I took three slow, deep breaths…. and jabbed hard at the tabs on the keyboard.

Halle Pinyo says : Hey!!!! Great advice you gave!!!

Coconut Tree says : Hey, a hearty ‘ hi’ to you too. What’s up?

Halle Pinyo says : He’s asking me for my vital statistics! Can you believe that!!!??? He’s asking to see me personally but he wants to know my vital statistics first!

Coconut Tree says : Huh? He who? What’re you talking about?

Halle Pinyo says : He Matt, he who!!!

Coconut Tree says : Oh… OHH!…. He asked you that!?

Halle Pinyo says : *Nods angrily*. But I can’t respond to him yet. Fire’s still shooting out of my ears!

Coconut Tree says : Oh . Okay, calm down.

Halle Pinyo says : Easy for you to say. You’re not the one being insulted! What does he think I am??? A bartop dancer?

Fuming anew, I waited while the words at the bottom of my IM window read Coconut Tree is typing a message. It stopped and reappeared, several times, but still no new messages appeared in the window. Just when I was about to jab at the abused keyboard again, CT’s three words popped out.

Coconut Tree says : He’s still waiting?

Halle Pinyo says : Yeah. I’ve a good mind to ignore him and let him wait! Vital statistics, my a**!!! PFFFFTTTT!

Coconut Tree says : *sigh* Why are all guys such jerks. He sounded like a decent guy when you told me about him before this.. *sigh*

Halle Pinyo says : He was, until I loosened up a bit and he thought he’d snagged me. That conceited self-absorbed b****** — sorry, I’m just so angry!

Coconut Tree says : LOL! Np. I totally agree with you. . He’s just another insufferably egostistical male offspring of the female canine species!

Halle Pinyo says : I love how you always find the nicest way to say the nastiest things..

Coconut Tree says : Thank you. I’m basically a nice person. Hang on… here’s an idea…

I groaned. Oh God, not another one of CT’s harebrained ideas. I didn’t know why I was even seeking her input. She was as nutty as a …. a… well … coconut. By her own admission, she was a certified male repellant. Men turned tail and bolted the moment words spewed out from her mouth.

I watched another of CT’s ‘brilliant’ ideas pop up on my screen. My eyes widened in disbelief. She wanted me to ask him that!?

Halle Pinyo says : You’re NUTS!

Coconut Tree says : <--Well… duh..

Halle Pinyo says : I can’t ask him that! He’ll think I’d want to jump him!

Coconut Tree says : Exactly. This guy is too full of himself. He needs to be brought down and taught a lesson. After you’ve asked him that , then you’ll…

I read more of CT’s insane suggestions. My eyes widened further, which I thought was not possible. But they did.

Halle Pinyo says : You’re kidding, right?

Coconut Tree says : I’m extremely serious.

Halle Pinyo says : You’re nuts!

Coconut Tree says : Hehe…You said that already.

More tirades tingled at my fingertips on the verge of being zipped through cyberspace to Miss Nuts across the ocean when the loony lady’s strategy hit me like a tonne of falling coconuts. The corners of my mouth tugged upwards. I began to laugh.

Of course!… Oh the ingenuity of it all!

If Miss Crazy Tactician wasn’t so far away, I’d kiss her.

Eeuwww…!

I was grinning when I zipped back to the window where Matt was waiting. I read the few more messages that I’d ignored while ranting all over CT’s window.

RealVinDiesel says : Hey, you’re still there?

RealVinDiesel says : Are you angry because I ask for your VS? I know some girls feel that way when guys ask them that.

RealVinDiesel says : It’s just that with a pretty face like yours, I’m sure a pretty figure must come with it too. And women should take it as a compliment when guys ask them that.

RealVinDiesel says : It shows you’ve captured our interests and the fact that we are entertaining flattering images of you girls in our heads, then it definitely constitutes praise of the highest order.

I didn’t know if that was supposed to flatter me, or merely to justify his chauvinistic rubbish. But … whatever! My mind was already made up. Here was living proof of the flaw in Darwin’s theory on natural selection— Not all men evolved to adapt to their surroundings. Some human male species got stuck in their primitive primate state so much so that a few even began moving backwards. They devolved.

Poor Matt. He must be one of those devolving species.

I sucked in a breath to fan down the ire still raging inside me. Stay calm, my brain coaxed. My fingers quivered over the keys. Finally, a thin film of calm descended, and I let my fingers touch the square tabs. As if the digits belonged to someone else, I watched them tapdance over the keys…

Halle Pinyo says : Hey sorry, still here. A friend just popped up and I was talking to her.

RealVinDiesel says : Np. Is she hot. Like you? They say birds of a feather flock together after all! LOL.

Yeah, right. Just like worms of a…a… well… whatever, squirmed together— I could see Matt way down there, writhing with his fellow one-celled sludgemates…right at the bottom of the cesspool.

But I smirked as my fingers typed…

Halle Pinyo says : Haha… yeah, she’s hot. Definitely Marilyn Monroe material.

And just as ancient too. A relic… I could imagine CT’s typical response to such remark. While most women tried their best to shave off years from their real age, CT liked to pile more years onto her own. ‘That way people will be amazed that I look decades younger.’ Came her justification. I could almost hear the amused laughter in her words.

I sighed. How I wished I could pass this convo on to CT. I bet, Matt would swear off all women before she was even halfway through with him.

RealVinDiesel says : Hahaha…. I think I like your friend.

Sure you do. Because you don’t know what she has in store for you. My grin felt deliciously wicked.

Halle Pinyo says : I’ll tell her you say that.

Which I did, with a quick zip to the other window. But CT’s status had gone ‘idle’. Where’d she go? That traitor! Deserter!

RealVinDiesel says : So… are you going to answer my question?Your vital statistics?

Halle Pinyo says : Uh… yeah.. Sure… Umm… 36-24-36. If you’re interested, I was Prom Queen in both Junior High and Senior Prom. I was also Miss Photogenic in college. Recently, at a function for diplomats, I sang in front of the hall-full of guests, and nobody noticed I sang terribly off-key because people were too busy wowing my LBD with a plunging neckline all the way to the studs in my belly button.

RealVinDiesel says : LBD?

Halle Pinyo says : Little Black Dress.

RealVinDiesel says : *Jaw drops* How little? And plunging all the way to your studded belly-button? I’m totally wowing now … The visuals I’m seeing in my head… Wow, you’re super hot! Smokin’!

Halle Pinyo says : Lol. Thank you. What about you? What’s YOUR vital stats like? Are you really built like Vin Diesel. Do you bench press? How many can you do? Have you got… big feet?

I rolled my eyes and felt the hot flush on my face. I couldn’t believe I just asked that! Big feet!? I covered my face in shame. Hey, but CT would be proud of me. I prayed this wild idea of hers wouldn’t backfire. This was just too bizzare.

RealVinDiesel says : Big feet!!!? Lol. Yeah, I guess I do… but you’ll get to judge for yourself when we meet, coz I definitely am looking forward to meeting you. I do bench press, as a matter of fact. In the region of 300-400. I lift weights too. And I jog every morning. Mustn’t let this body go… you know. What God gives, we should embrace. Like they say, if you got it, flaunt it. *grins*

RealVinDiesel says : See, that’s why I think you and I are really gonna hit it off. That plunging neckline and belly-button stud… yeah, baby… flaunt it!

RealVinDiesel says : I think we’re gonna look sooo good together.

Halle Pinyo says : Lol. Yeah… so… your vital stats?

RealVinDiesel says : Ah… yes. Like my nick says—VinDiesel… bulging biceps, lean abs … the whole package. Except I’ve heard girls say I score higher than Vin in the looks department.

RealVinDiesel says : Lol. Those are not my words… just quoting what the girls say…. but you’ll be able to judge for yourself when we meet.

I bent double over my seat, stuck a finger into my gawking mouth, and mimed a gag, my tongue lolling out.

“You ate the left-over clams again?” Dad’s voice startled me. I jerked back up and whirled around in my seat. My face must’ve shown some unsavory expression. Dad peered closer. “You okay? I told you to throw the clams away. Enough of dashing to the ER for this month. The hospital’s becoming our second home.”

“Uh … I’m fine, Dad. I was uh… I was just… plucking out something that’s stuck between my back teeth.” I twisted in my seat so that my body blocked the computer screen.

“Hm…” Dad looked at me , then dropped a kiss on my forehead. “Go to bed. It’s late.”

“I’m twenty-seven, Dad. Not seven.”

Dad grunted. Then dropped another kiss. “You’ll always be seven to me. Now go to bed.” One more stern look, he turned around and headed upstairs.

I sighed and turned back to the screen. More VinDiesel attributes scrolled across my screen. I stuck my finger in my mouth again, and mimed even more violent gags. Then reluctantly returned my fingers to the keyboard…

Halle Pinyo says : *swoon* … ooh… what girl can resist that? I’m soo looking forward to meeting you too.

RealVinDiesel says : Great! Where? When?

Halle Pinyo says : You name the time and place. My schedule’s flexible.

He named a chic café downtown. We’d meet when the workday was over the next day. He even suggested dancing afterwards, and perhaps supper somewhere after that. I agreed. Then told him I had to sign out coz my dad asked me to go to bed. I giggled when there was a considerable pause before his goodnight and goodbye appeared in the window.

I clicked on the stealth status against Matt’s nick and giggled again. This was going to be fun. I decided I was going to go one step further than what CT suggested. My glee brimmed over. I sent a series of persistent buzzes and audibles until CT came back on. Elated with excitement, I related what had transpired.

I couldn’t wait for tomorrow. I hadn’t felt this naughty since twelve-year-old me dipped my brother’s toothbrush in the toiletbowl, in retaliation for snitching to Mom that I’d let Joel Estes kiss me on the mouth.

Much to my dismay CT wasn’t online late next morning when I booted up my computer. Sleep had eroded the excitement and bravado of the previous night. I needed some morale booster to rebuild my confidence for the evening’s daunting rendezvous with Matt. So, I picked up the phone and turned to the only other person I knew who was understanding enough to give me a dose of that much needed support.

In her fifties and unmarried, Aunt Vanna doted on me. I was the daughter she could have had if she had not been married to her career. She was the only one who knew the real reason behind my breakup with my ex…apart from the leech himself and my traitorous cousin, of course. The moment Aunt V’s husky voice filtered through the earpiece, I gushed out my panic at what I’d gotten myself into.

Ten minutes later, returning the receiver to it’s cradle, not only was my alarm vanquished, but a new surge of spine-tingling energy seemed to hum all over me.

I checked my IM. I needed to run Plan B by CT but she was still offline. Mulling over the altered plan again, I decided that the added strategy effectively fortified CT’s Plan A, and the modified plan was the one I was going to execute that evening. My grin felt smug and delicious.

A chat window appeared out of the blue (of the screen, that is).

I jumped. My heart pounded with the dread of seeing RealVinDiesel leering back at me.

But it was Jerry, a cyber friend I’d spent countless hours with discussing indepth topics regarding the culinary history of the diverse cultures of the world. I was a freelance food columnist for a small-circulation magazine, and Jerry proved to be a treasure trove of information on this subject. He was a doctor by profession and travelled frequently to exotic places. On his return, he’d never failed to lavish me with souvenirs of delightfully new and exciting historical bits he’d learned about the cuisines of the places he'd visited. Information unattainable on my own otherwise, for I had not the same good fortune to travel extensively as the good doctor.

Although we’d never met, I thought Jerry was the epitome of a true gentleman. He was directed to my blogsite by a friend of a close friend because of our similar interests and we hit it off right away. As a result of my hunger for more information not within my grasp, I found communication at first with Jerry through brief messages left on my blog to be quite frustratingly insufficient. So, a year ago, I made the first move and gave Jerry my IM address. And he had never given me cause to regret that decision.

Now, seeing his nick on my screen, my alarm gave way to a pleased smile.

Doc Foodie says : Hiya… Didn’t expect to see you there.

Halle Pinyo says : Hi. LOL. Thought that’s my line. I’m the freelancer here, remember? You’re the one who’s supposed to be at the hospital playing superdoc and mending patients back to good health.

Doc Foodie says : Just got home. Day off today. Gonna catch up on some sleep. Was on my feet for 32 hours yesterday. Tour coach drove off a steep incline up in the mountains. Double-digit casualties. Driver didn’t make it. We tried but his head injuries were too massive.

Halle Pinyo says : Ouch. I’m sorry.

Halle Pinyo says : You alright?

Doc Foodie says : Yeah, thanks. Just exhausted. You’d think I’d gotten used to it by now… but watching people die… I don’t know. I don’t think I can ever get used to that.

Halle Pinyo says : Well you shouldn’t. No one should get used to seeing people die.

Doc Foodie says : <sigh>. Yeah.

Doc Foodie says : He had a 3-year old daughter. She was there with her mother when I broke the news to them. I don’t think she understood what was going on. <sigh> Wish I could’ve done more.

Halle Pinyo says : Hey Jerry, remember you’re only human. All you can do is your best.

Doc Foodie says : Yeah… I know. Thanks. I guess I need to hear that. You’re a good friend.

Halle Pinyo says : No problem. That’s what friends are for.

Doc Foodie says : Okay, since I consider myself a good friend to you back, let’s move away from my depressing day. What’s going on with you? Been three days since we last talked.

Halle Pinyo says : Oh… nothing much. Mom’s still nagging at me to look for a ‘real’ job. My freelance writing is still not considered ‘real’ <rolls eyes>.

Doc Foodie says : Explain to her it’s self-employment and brings in income, therefore, employment nonetheless. And REAL.

Halle Pinyo says : I’d have better chance of success explaining that to my neighbor’s pet koi.

Doc Foodie says : I don’t think your mom’s THAT unreasonable. Give her a chance. You just have to think of a better way to present your argument.

Halle Pinyo says : You don’t know my mom. Anyway, you’re supposed to be on my side and agree with me.

Doc Foodie says : I AM on your side. Although I don’t think I’m obligated to agree with you on everything. Kinda boring if we both think alike ALL the time.

Doc Foodie says : Look Halle, you won’t have your mom forever. Make peace. Life’s too short to quibble over petty disagreements.

Halle Pinyo says : Petty? So you’re saying I should give in to my mom and get back with my ex so she can have her 3 grandchildren asap? The nagging about the job’s just an excuse. She’s using that to get back at me for denying her her dream grandchildren. I need someone to give me a full-time job that gets me out of the house all day and out of her face.

Doc Foodie says : Ex? 3 kids? What about your present ? I’m available if you need my services.

Doc Foodie says : Oops! Sorry. That didn’t come out right. I mean if you need help with finding a job.

Doc Foodie says : Hey Halle, I know we’ve never ventured into anything deeply personal, but I want you to know that I’m here if you want to talk about … things. Anything.

For some reason, my heart fluttered at that. A flush of warmth rushed all over my system. It was true, we had steered clear of anything intimate, and I suddenly realised that I didn’t quite know anything about Jerry apart from him being a doctor, his interest in the subject of historical cuisine, and that he lived alone across town from where I was. I didn’t even know how he looked and how his voice sounded like.

Did he have an ex too? Or maybe… a present? Oh God! What if he was married?

An odd emotion settled inside me. I wasn’t quite sure what it was, but it was disconcerting.

In cyberworld anyone could claim to be…anybody. Could Jerry not be who I’d been led to believe he was? Could Jerry be… just another Matt? Could Jerry even actually be Matt? Yikes!

I shuddered and shook the paranoia away. Thoughts of Matt was certainly unhealthy for my mental wellbeing. And Jerry couldn’t possibly be Matt. Not in a million years!

Trepidation towards the upcoming half of the day returned. I needed a peptalk pronto. Darn! CT was still offline. I bit my lips and stared at Jerry’s words.

Should I?

Halle Pinyo says : Um…Actually, I could use a sympathetic ear right now.

Doc Foodie says : <grins> I’m all ears then. But if you don’t see my reply, then your problem is downright boring and I’ve dozed off. If that happens, take 2 aspirins and call me in the morning. I accept credit or cheque.

I giggled. That actually made me feel a lot better. But I’d always loved talking to Jerry. I took a deep breath and nervously opened up about Matt and my fears for the evening’s plans. I poured out everything and didn’t wait for Jerry’s responses in between. Finally, when I was done, I waited for the words at the bottom to say Doc Foodie is typing a message.

But the only words there were… Last message received...

Halle Pinyo says : <fingers drumming on keyboard> <waiting>

Halle Pinyo says : Okay, I guess I have to take 2 aspirins now.

Doc Foodie says : Lol. Sorry, assessing. Why can’t you just ignore him and block him from your IM? Problem solved.

Halle Pinyo says : I thought of that. But he’s very persistent and I’m sure he’ll find a way somehow to get to me. If not online, then personally. I need to DRIVE him away. For good.

Doc Foodie says : You should’ve told him you’re engaged or married or have a boyfriend. But seeing that you haven’t, Plan B sounds good. Need moral support? I can be there with you. Back-up, if anything goes wrong.

Strange how my heartbeat was skipping a few beats here and there, and then escalated without warning. I gasped for breath. What to do? What to say? Say yes?

Halle Pinyo says : Don’t you want to know my vital stats first? I could be hideous and drive YOU away instead of Matt. I don’t think I want to do that. I need you for my column. You’re very important to me.

Doc Foodie says : Gee thanks. Good to know I’m THAT needed. LOL. Anyway, you’re talking to a medical doctor. ‘Vital stats’ to me is a whole different thing.

Halle Pinyo says : Haha… forgot you’re a doctor. I’m gonna tell you anyway… 36-42-42…. Still wanna be there for me?

Doc Foodie says : Sure, why not? I love plus-size, hideous-looking women. Saves me from fighting off other men.

Halle Pinyo says : ROFL! Okay, I’ll see you there then. Oh… but how will I know you?

Doc Foodie says : Don’t worry. I’ll know you. I’m going to have to catch some zzzs now before operation Matt later. So see you tonight?

I nodded my head stupidly, then realised that I needed to type out the words. That done, I watched Jerry sign out, my brain numbed, my mind bewildered.

For tonight... not only would I have the displeasure of seeing BigTimeJerk Whatsisface in person, I was also going to meet , for the first time, a man whose disembodied appearance on my screen always brought a smile to my heart. Whose intelligent communication and light-hearted banters were something I looked forward to, and whose friendship I had come to treasure greatly.

Oh my. Why was I so nervous?





I put on the huge dark shades over my eyes and studied my reflection in the mirror. My nose scrunched up in despair at how the eyewear looked like it was swallowing the upper half of my face. As if it wasn’t already swallowed up under the tilted narrow brim of Aunt Vanna’s black hat. The bridge of my nose seemed to grow from between the groove of the black goggle-sized glasses. I squinted at the brownish-red lips below the flare of my nose and it seemed as if my mouth was plastered there as an afterthought. I hated to admit it, but the image I was staring at reminded me of Jeff Goldblum’s bulbous-eyed half-fly mutant face.

My despair expelled itself in a noisy sigh. How come Princess Di looked so good in the same get-up? My gaze migrated to the rest of me with the hope of finding some redeeming features to save me from the fashion police. I looked over the black leather jacket I’d worn over my prim knee-length black dress, then down the length of a pair of black net-stockinged legs, to trail the two stumps as they finally planted themselves into a black leather stilletto ankle boots, the thin spiked heels precariously supporting my freaked-out self.

Hm… Somehow, this similar ensemble looked amazingly hot and femme-fatale on Sydney Bristow.

I looked like Wednesday Addam’s botched-up clone.

I sighed. Oh well… Nothing much I could do now. I had to be out of the house in fifteen minutes.

Giving my sorry reflection one last once-over, I reached for my purse and sat at the computer to see if I could persuade CT to persuade me that this was an insane idea and abort Mission Takedown Matt. But CT was all geared up for the operation. She loved Plan B and even came up with a contingency plan should we stumble into a hitch. She peptalked me till I couldn’t be peptalked anymore and reminded me that she would be waiting at her trusted pc to hear all the gory details when I returned.

I sighed again (which I seemed to do a lot lately, thanks to no-good Matt!), then sent an off-line message to Jerry to inform him where I’d be. Both deeds accomplished, I logged out just as Mom was coming down the stairs.

I still had five minutes to spare, but I couldn’t risk Mom finding out what I was up to. Knowing Mom, everything would come back to the topic of my ‘idleness’ and/or my breakup with my ex, which she insisted was my fault, and which resulted in the lost opportunity for Target Three Grandbrats.

A horrifying thought popped into my head. Matt would be the perfect agent for Mission Grandchildren if Mom knew about him! I could taste the bile rising from my stomach. I really should make myself scarce before Mom caught me.

I grabbed my purse and flew out the door, calling out a hasty goodbye which I was sure didn’t quite reach her. I didn’t stop running until I was very certain that I’d put an unreachable distance between Mom and me.






Aunt Vanna and I reached Mona’s Café half an hour before Matt was supposed to be there. We crossed over to MacDonald’s opposite and chose a table that gave us a clear view of the interior of the café opposite through it’s lightly-tinted glass exterior. We ordered light snacks and waited to spot a self-proclaimed Vin Diesel lookalike.

“How can we know for sure it’s him?” Aunt V asked, looking all psychedelic in her retro-70s outfit. Amazingly, the clothes still fitted her after more than thirty years in storage. She’d even completed the ensemble with a big afro hairdo. I giggled at the curious stares we got from the other patrons and saluted my aunt’s sense of adventure when she didn’t even bat an eyelid at the less-than-complimentary laughter directed our way.

“He gave me his cellphone number just in case. But he was sure I’ll be able to identify him easily, given his built. But he assured me, I won’t need to look for him because he knows he’s going to pick me out without much difficulty. He said, quote…” I air-quoted with my index fingers, “…'I’m sure you’ll be the sexiest drop-dead gorgeous chick there ’…” My eyes rolled with distaste.

Aunt V chuckled. “You’re such a loser magnet. Maybe you should start thinking about some form of therapy or something.”

I glared at her. “That is so not helping, Aunt V.”

“Just V, thank you. I’m not your aunt, remember?. I’m twenty-seven today.” She glared the reminder, then dismissed the subject with a shrug. Her heavily mascaraed eyes scanned around the area, suddenly glinting when she turned towards the glass doors by which we had come in a few minutes ago. “Now that would be more of the kind you should be attracting.”

I followed where her gaze directed… at the tall Adonis in black long-sleeved sweater-shirt that made the garment redundant the way his body filled out breathtakingly inside it, the material clinging to every sculpted plane of his beautifully muscled body. My heart pounded somewhere in the region of my throat. My eyes travelled up that perfect male physique to feast upon the most gorgeous pair of eyes I’d seen in real life, rivalled only by Jack Bisson who played Yannick in that TV series.... I mean Yannick Bisson who played the TV in Jack… uh I mean— Um…never mind…

He’d just entered the doorway and was gallantly holding the door open for a group of ogling and giggling teenagers who, no doubt, would be gushing and entertaining secret fantasies about him for weeks to come. I knew I did when I saw him the first time, except in my dreams he was as besotted with me as I was with him.

“I think the needle in my hunkameter’s just shot off the scales,” Aunt V’s words barely registered in my chaotic brain. “If you ask me, that qualifies as a real Vin Diesel. You think, he’d go for an older woman?”

Thinking was hard but I managed a mumbled response. “The kind that looks like a colorful and glittering Christmas gift-wrapping with huge curly hairball on top? I seriously doubt that.”

Oh, what I’d give to be invisible at that moment. But Aunt V’s psychedelic costume was like a glaring beacon.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Whatahunk, not that I made any effort to. But… what was he doing here? He was not supposed to be in here!

He turned suddenly. Too late my eyes connected with his, but I dropped mine hastily anyway. I’d seen his eyebrows shoot up but I still hoped he hadn’t recognised me under all these hideous halloween get-up.

Don’t come this way, please… don’t come this way….

But I heard Aunt Vanna say, “I think you underestimate my chick power, because he’s heading right this way.”

Before I could stop myself, my head had jerked up. Again, my eyes connected headlong with his dark ones. And I couldn’t look away this time. Too stupefied because he was homing in on us.

“Halle?” He was there, by our table. His melting gaze alternating between Aunt V and myself.

I nodded dumbly. My tongue had had a stroke. And died. I tried to make some kind of a response from my throat, but I forgot that my thumping heart was lodged there.

“You must be the Doctor Jerry I’ve heard so much about.” I heard Aunt V’s husky voice and marvelled at how sexy she sounded. “I’d like to be Halle, but I’m not. That black statue over there is Halle. I’m her Aunt Vanna.” Her fake eyelashes fluttering shamelessly, Aunt V leaned forward towards the perfect male specimen before her, and whispered as if I couldn’t hear. “You have to excuse Halle. I think she’s left her tongue in the freezer at home. Have a seat, sweetheart.”

Oh God! Someone, shoot me now. Please!

Mortified, despaired, humiliated… These were gross understatements to describe what I was feeling as I sank lower into the yellow seat and wished I could disappear into it. Since that wish was not going to happen, I had no choice but to try and appear as poised and unflustered as I could. Sheesh! If only I’d remembered that Adonis was human after all and would need a Big Mac ... or ten, to maintan that chiselled physique, I’d taken the five minutes I had to spare earlier, and slipped into my sexy LBD. Uh… had I own one, that was.

“A pleasure to meet you, Aunt Vanna,” Whatahunk was greeting my aunt in his oh so spine-tinglingly manly voice. “Although... I’m afraid I have to disappoint you. I’m not the Dr Jerry that Halle’s been talking to you about,” he flashed a dimpled grin at my unabashedly enamored aunt. “I’m Johnny Constanza.”

“Oh…My apologies then. And you can call me V. No need to be so formal.” Aunt V giggled, looking anything but apologetic as she held on to Johnny’s proffered hand, her stiff fake eyelashes flapping brazenly. But a crease appeared between her brows. She turned to me, pondering. “Hmm…Johnny… Johnny…. Do I remember you telling me about a Johnny, Halle?”

Which made Johnny Whatahunk turn those delicious pair of hot chocolate browns on me too. My brain had to grab very hard onto my willpower to retain the ability to stay solid. My head moved in a confusion of a shake and a nod. My tongue was still resisting resuscitation. I thought I heard a squeak squeeze through my larynx. But Aunt V ‘s sudden exclamation shifted my attention.

“Ah! I remember now! Johnny Whatah—”

“Pleasant surprise !” I cut in quickly, the near-blunder shocking my tongue back to life. My heart pounded at the horror of Johnny discovering that attribute I’d bestowed on him. If Aunt V’s runaway tongue had blurted it out, I’d have to beat the fries to the deep fryer and plunge myself into its hot broiling depth to escape from utter humiliation. But I didn’t think MacDonald’s would be too happy about that. I was sure they had a policy somewhere that said ‘No Swimming In The Deep Fryer.’

Shocked out of my stupor now, I glared a discreet warning at the feigned innocence my aunt was returning, before shifting my flustered focus to my Adonis. “ Uh…to see you… Johnny. What a…pleasant surprise… really …to see you… here.”

Johhny chuckled, the duo of dark laughing eyes and deep tingly laughter sending me tumbling deeper into infatuated bliss. “Surprise? I’m thinking not. You know I love Big Macs and I live just around the corner. Oh, by the way, I got the letter for the go-ahead on the resto. And it’s all thanks to your help.” He turned back to Aunt V, “I’m opening an eatery a few blocks from here. Halle’s been helping me with the application forms and the rest of the paper stuff. I’m really helpless at those, but she’s been a treasure.”

I glowed. I was Johnny’s treasure.

“I’m sure she is. Sweetheart, why don’t you sit down here… beside me. I’d really like to hear more about this eatery of yours,” my aunt cooed.

“Ah…I’m sorry. I’d really love to...” And he really looked it. Sorry, I mean. And so incredibly cute too. “Thank you, but I have a noisy bunch of friends back at the apartment waiting to binge on unhealthy food. We’re watching an NBA game. Otherwise, I’d really love to. Hey, but … can I get you girls anything?” He eyed our meagre tidbits on the table.

Aunt V was shameless. Not missing the ‘girls’ reference, her eyelashes fluttered eagerly.

“Yes, please, sweetie. If your friends look anything like you, maybe you’d be a darling and arrange them on a platter, then deliver it here. You'd look great as the garnish. I could sure use a hunk or two tonight.” Her fake lashes fluttered some more.

My jaw dropped.

Johnny laughed, and turned to me. “How come you never told me your aunt’s so cool and such a babe?”

I shook my head. Okay. Wake up. Nightmare’s over. Time to wake up, now. Please! WAKE UP!

HELP!

“Excuse me. Halle?”

My agitated mind and eyes zipped towards the new voice, and connected with its chestnut-haired owner standing beside Johnny.

“Jerry?”

“No. I’m Matt.”

I jolted, alarmed.

He grinned. “Sorry. Can’t help that. Yeah. Jerry.”

I relaxed. A little.

Hm…Not really a Brad Pitt, my brain processed in a flurry, and certainly not as knee-jellying as the Adonis beside him, but the clear amber of his eyes captured me, nonetheless. I’d always thought only the ER of a TV land Chicago hospital was fortunate enough to be blessed with cute doctors. But I was wrong. It appeared, all this time, I’d been sharing culinary discussion and light-hearted banters back and forth with a real-life cutie ala Dr Luka Kovac, and I didn’t know it.

I managed a small smile up at Jerry, and was caught again by the golden flecks in his eyes. A memory slammed into my mind. I blinked. We’d talked briefly before, only I couldn’t remember where or when.

“Ah… the Dr Jerry …” Aunt V was cooing again, poaching Doc Foodie’s focus from me. “It is really wonderful to meet you finally.” She unclasped her hand reluctantly from Johnny’s and extended it to the newcomer.

Recovering myself enough to introduce Jerry to Adon— uh, Johnny without dissolving into a burbling mush, I watched, captivated, as the two men greeted each other. A refrain from a song gushed and reverbrated loudly inside my head.



Gosh, Mom would be delirious if she was here right now. She might even raise Target Three Granchildren to six.

Somehow, in the midst of my fuzzied brain struggling to grasp the overloaded excitement of being in the company of two very attractive men, I found myself promising Johnny that I’d join him in looking over the eatery premises the next day, and then on to a celebratory lunch after that. Then all of a sudden, he was gone… to get the promised chow for his gang.

Trying my best not to trail Johnny’s movements to the counter, I turned… and found Jerry on the seat beside me. Funny how I became acutely aware of the small space between his crisp denim sleeved arm and my own black leather one. Funny too, how I became suddenly self conscious and couldn’t think of a word to say to him, when all this past year, I’d been chatting very comfortably with his words on my screen. I looked to Aunt V and waited for her outrageous chatter, but she was silently smiling and gazing at us. Feeling awkward, I crooked the corners of my mouth into a smile, took a deep breath and— oh God… he smelled really good!

“Have you spotted your subject yet?” Jerry broke the discomfort when I still couldn’t get anything to come out from my mouth, his warm breath fanning my skin. Well… not really fanning, but close enough. Hey, a girl could fantasize, couldn’t she?

“Not yet.” I made a big show of checking my watch and looking out to the establishment across the street to hide the hot flush on my face. “He should be here anytime now.”

“So, Jerry… are you married?” Aunt V’s question came out of nothing.

I must’ve had a cardiac arrest. I swore my heart forgot to function for a few heartbeats. I couldn’t believe my aunt!

“Aunt V!”

“What?” She returned innocently.

Beside me, Jerry coughed once. “No, I’m not married. But I think target Vin Diesel has landed.”

Still reeling from the shock, my eyes swung to the street outside, only to be blasted with another.

If that was the VinDiesel wannabe, then I think I could be easily forgiven for forgetting that he had an IQ level of a babboon.

But Aunt V summed it best as she got up gleefully to get into her role for the mission. “Aiyaiyaiyaiyai… Somebody forgot to tell me it’s Hunks Night tonight?”




(*lyrics to ‘It’s Raining Men’ is the property of the WEATHER GIRLS.)

“Wait!” I reached out and snagged Aunt V’s arm. I forced her to sit back down. “Let’s make sure that that’s really him.”

I whipped out my cellphone.

“Halle, I don’t —” Jerry started.

I jabbed the speed dial for Matt’s number. The hunk outside slipped his hand into his pants pocket and fished out his mobile.

“— think you want to… do… that.” Jerry trailed off feebly.

“Why not?” I flipped my phone shut and saw with satisfaction the object of my indignation bring the phone to his ear, frowned, then jabbed at a button without talking into it. After a quick scan of the area, Matt pushed the glass door open and disappeared into Mona’s Café.

“Okay, that is him.”

“Yes,” Aunt V chirped cheerily, reaching out a finger to lightly tap the tip of my nose. “Also now, he has your cellphone number.”

I stared back at my aunt. Moron! My brain snarled, and banged its head against my skull. Jerry must be thinking I was a real dimwit.

But I shrugged and played down the blunder. “If he calls back, I won’t answer. Anyway, I’m sure after we’re through with him tonight, he wouldn’t ever want to have anything to do with me again anyhow.“

“That’s the plan, honey. And hope it works out that way.” Aunt V patted the side of my arm. “Now, let’s get mission Take Down Matt going. He’s such a dish. I can’t wait!”

“You’re enjoying this way too much,” I griped.

“Honey, the last time I dated anyone half as good-looking as that babboon was when T-Rex was still king! Now, I can’t promise I’ll stick exactly to the plan, but you can be sure that by the time tonight is over, he’ll feel the need to consult his shrink first before even saying hello to any female species… let alone asking for her vital statistics.” Covering an impish giggle behind a heavily bejewelled hand, Aunt V added, “Ooh! I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I introduce myself as you.”

“I’m thinking there’s one problem there,” Jerry intruded. “He’s seen Halle’s picture on the blog. You both do look a lot alike, but how’re you going to explain the… uh... age discrepency? He might not be as evolved as the rest of us, but I’m sure he can tell apart a twenty-something from a… um more… mature twenty-something. What if he smells a set-up and start searching for the real deal? Sorry…” He directed a regretful half-smile at Aunt V.

“Don’t be sorry,” Aunt V waved a dismissive hand, her smile back to the familiar Aunt Vanna sans her Miss Hyde personality. “And thank you for being such a gentleman. ‘Mature-twenty-something’ eh? I like that. I bet you don’t need drugs to treat your female patients. You’re intoxicating enough all on your own.” Winking at Jerry’s flustered chuckle, Aunt Vanna turned to me, “I think, the next time you decide to eat left-over clams and give yourself food-poisoning, I’ll tell your father to call Doc Foodie instead of bundling you to the ER. I’m sure you’ll get better care in Jerry’s hands.”

In pure mortification, I flickered a glance at Jerry, the same moment that he coughed and glanced my way. I thought collision in gazes only happened in movies and romance novels, but I definitely felt the rebounding of mine when our eyes clashed. My heart palpitated in delirium when I caught the flustered flush on his face which he was trying very hard to hide by not looking directly at me. Oh…believe you me, I wasn’t fantasizing this time. I’d swear it, on my pet rock’s grave too, if you don't believe me.

I cleared my throat and brought the topic back to Matt before Aunt V decided to entrust me to Jerry’s other uhm… anatomy. “That’s the beauty… or the horror… of cyberworld, depending on whose viewpoint you’re looking from. You can claim to be anybody on the net.”

“True, but…” Jerry replied to my cheek, “bloggers tend to be quite themselves. And I think that’s probably why Matt prowls blogsites. Blogs are one of the easiest places for a guy to look for a hook-up. I’d certainly do that if I’m Matt.”

I frowned at that, but reminded myself Jerry was directed to my blog by my close friend. I did a check-up and she verified the fact.

“I told Matt, I was Miss Photogenic in college. So it stands to reason that cameras love me, and subtract years off my age, as cameras are wont to do. CT suggested I make myself look old and hideous, but Aunt V came up with this idea, which I like much better. At least I don’t have to sit across from that self-absorbed, small-brained Homo Erectus and act interested.”

“Oy, I love that!” Aunt V exclaimed. “Sounds deliciously obscene! You know what, now that I’ve seen Matt, I think I might even consider keeping him.” Aunt V got up abruptly. “Okay, nuff talkin’. Let’s get this show on the road! Halle, wait five minutes before you come in. I’ll make sure he’s faced away from the door first.”

With a wave of a hand, Aunt V whirled around and exited MacD. I watched her big hair wobble precariously on her head as she strutted her way to the café across the street, the exaggerated sway of her hips, hypnotizing .

Jerry chuckled at my side. “I must say, your boyfriend’s right. Your aunt’s a babe. I’m not a fan of clichés but, what the heck— She’s so cool, she’s hot!”

I felt the blush, but kept my profile to him, and my eyes on my aunt. “Johnny’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a … friend, who I happen to be helping out because he’s hopeless and disorganised when it comes to dealing with red tapes and paperwork involved in the administrative— ”

I stopped. I didn’t know why I was explaining Johnny to Jerry.

“Of course.” Jerry replied. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be… presumptuous, but hey, the way you were looking at him, I thought —“

He broke off when I whirled around to flash him my resentment. He jerked back a little, both palms raised. “Okay, zipped. I apologize again. None of my business.”

Immediately, I felt foolish for over-reacting. Strange how I’d always fantasized Johnny and myself in a more than platonic setting, but hearing him referred to as my boyfriend, especially by Jerry … somehow, the notion seemed too … unrealistic.

Johnny was the deliciously ideal eye candy to gather wool with, but a soulmate back on solid terra firma? Nah… so not going to happen.

“Johnny’s just a friend,” I reiterated, my tone, carefully emotionless.

Jerry nodded. “Noted.”

I turned back to the view across the street. Although night had settled, the area outside was more than amply illuminated since this was the hapenning part of town. Through the glass exterior, I could see into the inside of the establishment. My aunt was being led to Matt’s table by a pretty little waitress in a prim and sober uniform, the contrast of it against Aunt V’s gaudy ensemble was sheer comic. But my eyes stayed fixed on Matt’s face. It was quite a strain, but the cosy lighting of the café was kind enough let me see his features reasonably clearly. Now, if only we had one of those pin-mics that law enforcement officers often used on TV—

Wait a minute! I’d been practising lip-reading ever since I became so besotted by Jack Hudson that I couldn’t unglue my eyes from his lips— Ah…Uhm. Strike that. I mean, fascinated by Sue Thomas’ lip-reading skills that I’d fancied myself skilled in the task too. Now seemed an excellent time to test if I could do it in real life.

I sharpened my visual focus. Aunt V had reached Matt’s table.

“We’ve made contact.” I muttered, then giggled at Matt’s widened eyes. “If his eyes got any wider, he’ll end up with two giant eyeballs for a face. This is great. I can read their lips. Ooh…He’s saying hello, and stuttering that I … uh… Aunt V cooks …liver…something something… and she packs tick? Or gig…?" I frowned. “Dig?”

Jerry chuckled. “Don’t quit your day-job. You’ll starve. Oops, sorry. You don’t have a day job.”

I rolled my eyes at him, but slumped back against my chair, defeated. “Okay, I admit, it’s not the same as reading muted conversations on the TV screen.” I rose from the chair. “C’mon, Aunt V’s managed to make him change seats. It’s safe now for me to go in there.”

“What do you want to be in there for? We can see from here.”

“No can do. I need to be close because…” I grinned my wicked grin, “I want to hear and witness first-hand Matt’s horror and torment so I can run a blow by blow account to CT.” I breathed. “You don’t know the sense of power gloating brings.”

“I see.” Jerry’s tone sounded a little cautious. “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”

I looked at him. Arggh! Mom was right. I really should engage my brain first before opening my mouth.

“FYI… I don’t tell CT every thing.” Which I knew sounded really lame given that Aunt V had told him how much I’d gushed about him.

But he merely smiled and got up from the chair. “Halle, don’t take this the wrong way, but there’s just one thing before we go in there…”

“What?”

“You do realise that the sun has set some time ago?”

“Yeah.” I said, and waited for him to make his point.

He hesitated, eyes flicking up to my head and back down peeringly into my eyes.

“Um… What you said about being hideous yesterday… I thought you were only joking.”

I looked at him blankly. “I was.”

“Oh. So…what’s with the hat and shades?”

Oh shoot! No wonder he kept responding to my cheeks.

Oh … double shoot! That meant… Johnny Whatahunk had been talking to my mutant fly face too!

Oh shoot! Oh shoot!





“Inconspicuous, huh?” Jerry chuckled softly, gently tugging the ridiculous shades off my face. He’d guided me out of MacDonald’s and steered me to a shadowed spot on the sidewalk behind a broad pillar. Here, we were obscured from view from inside Mona’s Café, and at the same time afforded some sort of privacy while being ignored by the bustling flow of human traffic .

“Yeah… You know— dark glasses and hat pulled down low over the eyes.” I slurred, my tongue not really connecting with my brain. Both organs drugged by a concoction of Jerry’s shadowed eyes that seemed to simmer into mine despite the amusement I could see in them, and his disturbing nearness. So near that I found myself inhaling his scent with every breath that I breathed.

“…And a trench-coat with turned-up collar.” I rambled on hoping he wouldn’t notice his effect on me. “But since I don’t have that, I thought my brother’s leather jacket would do.”

Unlike Johnny’s good looks, Jerry’s didn’t gush out and unleash havoc over female hearts. No. Not Jerry. His magnetism was more subdued, but potent nonetheless. I found myself flickering peeks at him just to savor the electric hum from the pleasure of beholding his classic nose and well-shaped mouth set on a clean-shaven, intelligent face. And that jaw… I’d never in my life felt this great itch to run my fingers over the jaw of any man, not even my ex. But I was feeling one now. He certainly wasn’t a contender for Vin Diesel, nor I believe, did he have any such inclination. But I couldn’t help appreciate how good he looked the way his denim shirt fit his lean hard frame. My eyes would’ve travelled south too to the snug fit of his dark jeans if that wouldn't make it seem too brazen. But brazen was one thing I knew I was not.

“Trench coat?” Jerry’s mirth rumbled quietly, rounding my mind back to the thread of our exchange. I watched him slide my sunglasses into his breastpocket before continuing, “Sure. I can easily see you all inconspicuous like that… Half your face hidden under a pair of dark glasses and your hat pulled-down until only your chin is visible, the collar of your black leather jacket turned up all the way to your ears… Yeah, I can really see you like that…just another one of those women in sexy dresses and high-heels and…”

“Okay, okay, I get your point.” I cut in crossly, the image he’d streamed into my mental screen efficiently poking a pin into the charmed bubble I was floating in. “I admit it. I’m a first-class moron. Sorry to disappoint you.” I swung my gaze away to the faceless people whizzing by, an unpretty scowl, I was sure, on my face.

But the chiding laughter I was expecting didn’t come.

“Disappoint me? Nah…” Jerry shook his head. A hand tugged my chin lightly to bring my focus back to him. “That didn’t even cross my mind. You are first class, you know…But definitely not in the moron department.” His voice was so soft and so low that its rich resonance was almost like a tangible caress.

Jerry’s gaze fixed back on me, letting me see the sincerity in it. I warmed, and was helpless to fight the irresistable pull of his darkened eyes. I’d like to know very much in which department I was first class in, but my tongue betrayed me again. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that boneless flap of flesh in my mouth was besotted by Jerry all on its own. But then, I’d have to think the same about my heart… and my lungs and…

Okay, this was weird. How could I be so enthralled by two men at the same time?

Oh boy…Maybe I was a floozy after all.

“I don’t think you need this either.” Jerry’s hand was reaching up to my face, his breath fanning my forehead.

It did. Yeah-huh. It really fanned my skin. I could feel it fluttering the brim of my hat.

My gaze trailed the path of his hand, my mind already conjuring up its warmth against my cheek … his face inching down slowly towards my— But his hand went higher and tugged Aunt V’s hat from its incongruous perch on my head. My hair tumbled down, bouncing happily at being released from its tight prison inside the headcovering.

I worked my throat, and forced the clogged saliva down. “But Matt will recognise me.”

Jerry shrugged aside my protest. Then went on to run his fingers softly through my hair, combing away its unruliness. I resisted the urge to close my eyes and purr up against that very inviting solid chest of his.

“He might.” His voice caressed.

I goosepimpled.

“But I’ll be there with you, so if he does… then we’ll just think something up.” He looked at me. “You want to lose the jacket? The night’s quite warm.”

I nodded . Jerry moved closer to my side and helped me slide the garment off.

I shivered.

He stopped the jacket sleeves from slipping out any further. “I’m sorry. You’re cold. Maybe you should keep it on.”

I’m burning hot.

My head shook. “No. No… I’m not. I was… It’s just… I’m not cold.” I tugged the jacket off roughly and draped it over my arm. Then bravely, I looked up at Jerry and willed the rest of me to stay cool. “Okay, how do I look now? Is ‘ridiculous’ still stamped on my forehead? ”

Jerry chuckled, amber eyes dancing back at me. “Don’ worry. Even if it was, you’ll still look pretty. Um… prettily ridiculous…" he grinned wryly. Then turning serious, his tone dropped so low, it became almost inaudible. “You were purple the first time I saw you, but even then, under that sickly color I could still see how pretty you were—”

He caught my surprised jolt and halted in surprise too. But before I could demand what he meant, he was already reaching for my elbow.

“C’mon, time for operation eavesdropping.”

“Jerry—“

But his full focus was centred on getting us across the street safely, and once across, before I could process properly that curious bit he’d dropped, we were already inside the door of Mona’s Café.

My mind whirled. Had I heard right? What did he mean by ‘that first time I saw you.’ ?

I bit my lip and rummaged in the storage bin in my head for that elusive memory that had slammed me earlier. I knew I had spoken to him face to face before. But where? When?

My heart pounded. Was Jerry really who he said he was, or … had he been stalking me all this while and our conversations on the IM chat was just one way of luring me into trusting him for some nefarious plan he'd drawn up for me.

If it was the latter, then I must say, he was one devious smooth-talker. And probably very dangerous too.

Oh, what had I gotten myself into?

“That was exciting,” I muttered softly from behind the menu that covered the lower two-thirds of my face. The trek from the door to the table was nicely executed, Jerry was my perfect shield. Matt didn’t see my entrance. “I almost believed I was Sydney Bristow,” I gushed on an adrenaline high.

Seated a discreet distance from our surveillance object but close enough to catch the ongoing conversation, our table was aligned slightly behind Matt’s, such that Jerry and I could comfortably spy on our subject without him being any the wiser. With Jerry taking the chair on my left, he became my cover, should Matt’s eyes stray our way.

“Fiery red looks so good on him.” I observed Matt’s face from off Jerry’s shoulder, the earlier misgivings about the latter pushed to the back of my mind. “And I’m liking those eyes all wild and darting desperately around. I bet he’s hoping someone would start a fire or something so he can make his escape. See those nervous ticks he’s having?” I turned to Jerry. “What’s your diagnosis, Doc? Mortification? Shame, humiliation or suffocation? I hope it’s all of the above.”

Jerry grinned indulgently, his gaze stayed on me, flicking only the merest of glance over at the other table. “I certainly hope it’s not suffocation.”

“Why not?”

“Because of the one obvious reason.”

I mulled over that, frowned and then let him see my bafflement. “Sorry, but I’m afraid I’m missing the obvious.”

Jerry’s grin was boyish and mischievous. I tried not to think how cute that made him look.

No… Not cute.

He was handsome. Quietly but captivatingly so. Gosh, I didn’t think I’d ever used those two words-- 'handsome' and 'captivating' to describe a man before. Sounded too Harlequin.

Careful there, girl. Hunks equal heartbreaks, remember?One ex is enough. But my heart thumped defiantly.

“If he suffocates,” Jerry’s voice yanked me back, “he’ll need CPR. And if I’m the only doctor around… Well, you fill in the rest.”

“Euww! ” I shuddered at the scenario. “You’re right. I don’t wish for option number four. Euw.”

Jerry chuckled. “Now, if it’s you who need CPR… then I’d make sure I’m the only doctor around.”

I colored, and turned away from his teasing gaze. The thumping in my chest upgraded to a deafening thundering, the tempo, all out of whack. My thoughts reeled with all the possible ways I would need CPR. But a caution bounced back in my head— He’d first seen me when I was purple.

“You didn’t mistake Barney for me, did you?” I narrowed my eyes back at Jerry.

His brows creased in question. “Excuse me?”

“Barney… the Purple Dinosaur…. You said the first time you saw me, I was purple.”

His laughter burst out. “Ah Halle… you and your aunt … you’re birds of a feather—cuckoos both of you.” But he sobered at my unsmiling face. “Ah I’m sorry. I didn’t mean —” He cleared his throat and slid his gaze away. “Look… Halle, I admit, I’ve seen you in person before tonight, but if you’re thinking I’m another variety of that Matt species, then I want you to know I’m not. You can trust me. I hope you believe me.”

“When?” I ignored his plea. “When did you first see me? How? Did I talk to you? And why didn’t you mention anything about it at all when we talked online?”

“Well, you did sort of talked to me but…it was under a… strange situation… and I don’t think you’d want to be reminded of that. You’d feel awkward and I don’t want that between us. See Halle, I always look forward to our chats online . On days especially like yesterday, you make the end of a horrible day more bearable… If I'd told you, I was afraid everything would change... and I don't think I'm ready for that.” He inhaled, “Look, after this thing is over, we’ll find a quiet place somewhere and I’ll tell you what you want to know. I promise.”

He looked so sincere and earnest, I melted. My mind warned that this could all be an act. But I melted anyway. Despite my reservations, I had this strong feeling that his explanation wouldn’t be the sinister conjectures my mind was entertaining.

I sighed. Then nodded reluctantly, and refocused on Matt. My aunt was regaling him with tales about her many illicit romances with Hollywood celebrities. I supposed the curl on Matt's mouth could be construed as a smile, but I could clearly see the distaste underlying it. Resentment stirred inside me. That was my beloved aunt he was sneering at after all.

“Poor Cameron,” Aunt V’s whiny voice floated over, “I felt very guilty when Justin chose me over her. I offered to give him up, but Justin… he would have none of that. Told me he’d die if I leave him…” The sorrowful shake of her head was pure drama. But almost instantly, she perked up again. “Do you know that Justin’s a briefs man. Looks so yummy in them too. What about you? Boxers or briefs?”

Knowing Aunt V, I bet she’d timed that question to coincide with the return of the waiter who was delivering the additional rolls she’d ordered despite the ones in the basket almost untouched . I could see the young man fighting to keep his cheek muscles from twitching and wondered if he had the strength to keep it in. I noticed Matt slouch lower in his seat, his VinDiesel built making the posture look very painful.

My chuckle spurted out. “Look at that. He’s trying to dissolve into his chair. “

But Aunt V was not done yet. “Wait! Don’t tell me. Let me guess…” She leaned a little to the side to peer under the table. “They say you can tell by looking at the size of a man’s shoes…”

I gave up all self control and let loose into my napkin.

Amidst his own chortle, Jerry shook his head. “Your aunt’s merciless. I’m having this great compulsion to rescue your boyfriend.”

I flashed him a glare. “He’s not my boyfriend and don’t you dare!”

Jerry’s hands came up. “Hey, I’d never want to get anywhere near your bad side. You’re worse than ‘Lethal Attraction’. Outright murder is more merciful than this torture and humiliation.”

“He deserves it.” I shrugged.

When I turned back, the young waiter was gone. I spotted him hastening towards the kitchen, the back of his shoulders shaking.

My attention swung back to Aunt V, who was leaning forward over the table and tugging at Matt’s shirtfront to whisper something very close to his face. Her big hair bobbed against the man’s forehead. He tried to avoid it but the hairy hive followed him. His hand reached out around my aunt for his glass of water, snagged it and brought it quickly to his mouth, successfully creating a barrier between his lips and Aunt V’s encroaching ones. But she whispered something before moving back. Matt’s eyes widened. He coughed, sputtering water everywhere and on his shirt. Aunt V was quick to react. She grabbed one end of the tablecloth and dabbed furiously at the moisture around Matt’s lips and all over his face, all the time cooing her concern. Matt was beyond red. He was positively black and waving away the pretty little waitress who’d hurried over to see if she could be of some assistance.

I had lost all self-control by this time, my laughter... though muffled, was hysterical behind the napkin. Poor Jerry had to stifle his into his own shoulder because he had to turn his head to see the comic scene. But my laughter died a sudden death when Matt rose abruptly from his seat and glared at Aunt V.

“Look, you… you... somebody’s grandmother…” Matt gnarled, his tone low and dangerous. “I know you can’t be Halle. She set this up, didn’t she? I don’t know why but I’m going to find out, then I’ll tell her exactly what I think of her!” He whisked out his cellphone and pressed some buttons.

My eyes widened towards Jerry, the same moment that Gwen Steffani crooned out If I Could Escape from inside my purse. My frantic hands rummaged inside the Bermuda Triangle, but of course things had a habit of not wanting to be found once I tossed them in there.

Matt jabbed at his phone.

Gwen stopped in mid-croon.

But Matt jabbed again.

Gwen started singing again.

When my fingers finally made contact with the little bugger and silenced Gwen, Matt had turned around and was cocking his head to tweak a glimpse at my face which I’d shoved almost into Jerry’s shoulder . But I think Matt managed get a peek at me, because he ignored Aunt V’s diversionary ploys and wended his way in my direction.

“Oh God,” I paled. My bravado poofed away. “He’s coming this way. I think he’s trying to make sure I’m me. Okay ….” My breath spurted out, my voice was now merely wisps of air. “okay … calm down. Think! What to do… what to say. I need to drive him away.” Then I remembered I was not alone. “Help, Jerry?”

Jerry took a quick peek behind him, then turned back to fix me a slow, smoldering look. “You’ve gone white. You’re oxygen-deprived.” His eyes burned into mine, a suggestion in them.

I understood. My heart found another reason to pound.

I nodded.

Jerry hesitated. And then his face descended towards mine. On its own accord, my head tilted and my eyes fluttered close. His scent drifted into me before I felt the warmth of his mouth press softly against mine. My senses came alive, but Jerry’s lips remained merely brushing. Lightly... slowly … druggingly, until his tingling taste was all that registered in my consciousness.

“Excuse me!”

Jerry’s lips snapped away. I almost cursed. My eyes flapped open to see Matt glowering over us, Aunt V behind him.

“Excuse me?” Jerry’s voice was ice cold.

Matt ignored him and lasered his glare my way. “You’re Halle.”

I didn’t know what that was supposed to be, but it sounded very much like an accusation.

“My name is Aileen.”

He hissed. Credit to him, he kept his voice low. “You’re Halle! I recognise you. You’re supposed to be my date! I don’t know what game you’re playing but I’ll have you know there’re not many women that I feel inclined to ask out for a date. Don’t you know who I am?”

Jerry placed a hand on mine to stop my response. He took his time getting up. “Okay, I’ll bite. Who are you?” He said evenly. Which made me ridiculously proud of him.

Matt’s face blackened more. He reached a hand behind him and whipped out a magazine. Roughly, he shoved the cover at our faces. A frozen, muscle-rippling bare-bodied Matt smiled back at us. Over his hottie looks, big bold letters proclaimed loudly, “Ultimate Eligible Hunk Of The Year”.

He leaned forward a little, a sneer at Jerry. “Now… who are you?”

Jerry reached down a hand and pulled me gently up. He slid an arm around my waist and nestled me close to his side. Then he looked Matt straight in the eyes.

“I’m the man who’s going to give Halle’s mom three beautiful grandchildren.”

Aunt V’s jaw muscles went slack.

I needed CPR.

I believed Matt would’ve liked to call me by many names that were not mine if Jerry hadn’t been there, and if Aunt V hadn’t purred to him that her closest friend was an editor for a women’s magazine and would definitely love the scoop about her date tonight with the Ultimate Hunk . An embellished version, no less.

But, I must hand it to Matt. He didn’t just cower and bow down to defeat. Nope. Not Matt. In a bizzare show of utter disdain, Matt brandished his cellphone and, with a snigger and scornful flourish, deleted my number from its directory right there in front of me.

Speechless and thus publicly …‘disdained’, there was nothing I could do but thank God for Matt’s small brain. And, just to show the man I bore no grudges, I reminded him not to forget to erase everything that was me in his computer too.

“You bet I will! One day, when I’m up there with the real Vin Diesel, you’re gonna regret what you’ve wasted tonight. But you know what, I’m not gonna even think of you!” He snorted hunkily and swaggered off.

I saluted him for his pride, and thanked God again for not encumbering Matt with too much thinking power.

“Well, that’s that.” I exhaled when we were outside on the sidewalk a little later, watching Matt’s tail-lights blend in to become just one of the multitude of tail-lights in a flowing river of blinking tail-lights. “Mission accomplished,” I brushed my palms together. “You were ace, Aunt V. Definitely an Oscar-worthy performance!”

“I’m heartbroken.” Aunt V sighed, her eyes still fixed wistfully on the spot where Matt’s tail–lights were. “He was just warming up to me, you know. We could’ve been so good together. I guess I’ll just have to contend myself with the what-might-have-been.”

Her shoulders sagged— for all of one millisecond. But when she perked back up and whirled around to bounce twinkling eyes betweenJerry and me, I found my insides tensing up for whatever that was going to blast out of that cannonmouth. I braced myself…

“Well, it’s late.” Aunt V began. “And since you kids have to make three kids of your own to gift-wrap to my sister-in-law, I suggest you find a den somewhere to get holed up and get busy.” She said, stifling a yawn as if she’d just told us to run along and play quietly.

My eyes rolled. I looked furtively around for somewhere to chuck my burning face in, but found only Mona’s Café garbage bin in a corner, glaring back at me.

Beside me, Jerry coughed, chuckled and fidgeted… in that order. His sleeve brushed my bare arm, the small contact triggering a massive electric burst shooting all over my already shell-shocked self.

“I think I’d better go now. Justin Timberlake’s waiting at home.” Aunt V announced. “I hope he’s not getting bored waiting for me.”

“I’ll drive you home,” Jerry offered.

“No, sweetheart. The night’s still young for you two. I’ll grab a cab and find my own way home, although … if the cabby’s a Matt contender, I might just decide to make a detour,” her eyes twinkled anew. Then reaching up to plant a peck on Jerry’s cheek, she winked laughingly. “It’s sweet of you to offer but I’ll be fine. Thank you for being Halle’s knight in there. I like you, Doc Foodie and FYI, I’m not always this cuckoo. I’ve been known to have my sane moments. So I hope tonight doesn’t scare you away from Halle. She’s a good kid, but…” she leaned in and, covering her mouth, whispered, “for some inexplicable reason, she’s prone to end up with the loser kind. But you," she jabbed a finger lightly at his chest, “I think you’re going to break that jinx. I have a strong feeling about you.”

“Uhem!” I broke in. “Aunt V, I’m still here and I can hear every word .”

Aunt V looked at me like I’d just materialised out of nowhwere. “Of course you are, honey. Shows how excellent your lamp-post impersonation is. Well, I’d better get going. Good night, you two…” She gave Jerry her most auntie smile, then pulled me into a tight embrace and kissed me on both cheeks. “Enjoy the rest of the evening. Don’t do what I would do.”

I couldn’t help the giggle. “I won’t. Thanks Aunt V, for coming along tonight.”

She waved away my thanks, and fluttered her lashes outrageously at Jerry. Curving an arm around his, she pulled him along with her. “C’mon Sir Doc, be my knight for a bit more and whistle me my hunk-drawn carriage.”






“That was exciting.” Jerry borrowed my own words to break the sudden awkwardness we found ourselves in once Aunt V was borne away in her carriage, drawn not by a hunk, but by a disappointingly middle-aged, pot-bellied and goateed driver.

I managed a small laugh but couldn’t find anything to push the conversation forward. We were strolling away from Mona’s Cafe to a riverfront eatery which was a few minutes’ walk away. What with all the Matt fiasco earlier, we didn’t even get to make our order from the menu. But of course, I had no wish to stay in there after being publicly shamed for being me.

The awkwardness that had crept between us tried to claim a stronger presence. I thwarted it, somberly explaining to Jerry the reason behind Aunt V’s zaniness. That under all those outrageous get-up and remarks was a broken, but very caring and sensitive person. A traumatic past experience in being stood up at the altar with no explanation at all from the groom, had turned her the way she was, probably to deflect the pain of betrayal and humiliation and perhaps protect herself from future hurt too.

Jerry nodded his understanding. I was relieved but still worried over his interpretation of my aunt’s disconcerting remark before her departure.

“Jerry,” I licked my lips nervously, “I hope you’re not feeling weird about what Aunt V said earlier. About you and me …about us ending up as an item. I want you to know I don’t feel… I mean… I’m not expecting anything of the sort.”

Jerry was uncomfortable too, judging by how he couldn’t keep his eyes to connect with mine. “Ah, don’t worry about that. I’m not … I mean… I don’t … uh, don’t worry about it." He lifted a shoulder in a nonchalant shrug. But after another uneasy pause, Jerry coughed once. “So… Johnny’s really … just a friend ?”

I blinked at the unexpectedness of the question. “Yes. Just a friend.”

He tossed me a side glance . I could see that he was not fully convinced. Heck, the way my face flamed like barbecued prawns everytime I lay my eyes on Johnny Whatahunk, I wouldn’t believe me either if I were him.

“I’m bowled over by his good looks. But that’s it.” My confession blurted out. I gritted my teeth. Now… where did that come from ?

I dared not look at Jerry’s reaction. My mind groped for some way to justify that statement without making me appear like a male-crazed fluff-head.

I found one.

“Just like guys ogle at pretty girls even when they’re with their wives or girlfriends,” I clarified. “That doesn’t mean that they’re going to pursue a relationship with the girl, does it?”

But I knew how wrong that was. My ex’s face poked into my head. Men! Chances were, they would pursue any pretty little skirt who crossed their paths. Was Jerry any different?

Jerry’s nod was imperceptible. “I see,” he said, and became lost in thought.

The awkwardness returned. We covered a few more strides along the pavement in silence. I bit my lower lip and wondered what happened to all the familiarity and lighthearted bantering we shared so comfortably online.

Jerry was right. I didn’t think after tonight, we could ever go back to being just two nicks chatting in cyberspace. Jerry was no longer merely a nickname on my screen, his thoughts and views, merely letters and words. He stood now beside me in the flesh. A real, tangible warm-blooded male oozing disturbing currents that messed with the rhythm of my heart.

Here we were walking together side by side, just another two individuals among the masses. Yet, I was too conscious of only him and me, alone in this vast expanse of the night. Too conscious of my own attraction to the physical him. And too anxious at what he was thinking of me. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but his nearness and how good he smelled. My mind couldn’t stop reliving the brief kiss we shared… which however, probably meant nothing to him.

I worried my lower lip more. This was something I’d always feared, and I'd hoped wouldn’t happen. Jerry was special. He was someone I’d fallen in ‘like’ with because of his intelligence and personality. I enjoyed exchanging new knowledge about our shared interests. We communicated as fellow intellectuals. The bond that we’d formed stood on a foundation that was not influenced by the physical at all. Admittedly, although he had seen my picture in the blog, he had never once commented on it. Hm… thinking on it now, I wasn’t sure if that was a good sign… However, what was important was that I liked Jerry without the influence of the looks factor.

But now, I’d seen him. And I didn’t like what I was seeing in me.

I’d become superficial, as I had with Johnny. Worse, I was no better than my ex.

“We’re here.” Jerry’s disappointed tone brought me back to the us of the present, his eyes fixed ahead.

I trailed his gaze and became disappointed too. Elmo’s Place was not only crawling with people, but the noise level in the place was really not conducive to civilized conversation.

“We can order to go and sit on one of those benches by the river further ahead,” I suggested.

So, twenty minutes later, there we were on the bench, the food and drinks in the small space between us. I munched on fries and shrimp salad. Jerry ate a chunky beef burger. The silence shrouding us this time was a comfortable one. I closed my eyes for a moment and tuned my consciouness to the hushed exchange between the river and the trees standing sentinel along its banks, my ears eavesdropping on the quiet whisperings of the leaves to the water, and the water’s response as it secretly murmured and gurgled its way along. I sighed, enraptured by the tranquility of the soothing symphony.

“Beautiful.” Jerry’s smooth baritone seeped into my enchantment.

I opened my eyes slowly, and found Jerry’s gaze on me.

“Yes…" I breathed in the night and tilted my face towards the heavens where the stars twinkled like diamonds, just like the nursery-rhyme chanted. “I love the outdoors in the night. Can never get enough of its beauty.”

“Yeah… that too.”

That too?

My eyes glided back to Jerry. And caught his darkened gaze, a myriad of expressions swimming in its amber depths. A flickering warmth in it seemed to reach out to me in a soft caress. My breath shallowed, in response to the altered rate of my pulse. Confused, I couldn’t disentangle my gaze from his. I panicked at the emotions I might unwittingly lay bare for him to see.

But Jerry unsnagged his gaze and swung it away towards the river, and then dropped them to his hands on his lap.

I dropped my eyes too and tried to correct my breathing. My hand reached out for the paper cup to sip the coke from it. I couldn’t register its taste, my mind too busy whirring— What just happened?

“Jerry," I managed a whisper. “That first time you saw me… when? And how was I purple?”

He cleared his throat. “The first time I saw you was at the hospital… about a month ago, you barged into the men’s room and, uhm… retched into a urinal.”

I jolted upright, the memory came gushing back. Now I really couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I so remembered that day! Oh… the humiliation!

I’d been experimenting on a clam recipe that included jalapeno and mozarella cheese. It was quite a hit with my family. I’d intended for Johnny to sample it and maybe make it his eatery’s in-house special when the restaurant finally opened. But Johnny was called out of town the day I’d meant to bring the clams to him. So I had the clams refrigerated and brought to him the next day. But he was in a phone conference when I arrived at his apartment.

So during the wait for him to finish that business, I heated up the clams and nibbled a little on it while I wrote down the ingredients. It wasn’t until half an hour later that he was finally done with the conference, but by that time my digestive system was completely under attack by an army of alien bacteria. My body fought back, but the aliens seemed invincible. My stomach began disgorging its contents like nobody’s business. My eyes began tearing up and I was groaning in pain and telling Johnny to tell my parents that I loved them, but please don’t mourn my death.

Frantic, Johnny rushed me to the hospital where, upon arrival I found myself dashing to the nearest restroom to relieve my heaving stomach again. I was in sheer agony and my strength seemed to have been spewed out along with whatever that remained to be expelled still in my stomach. My eyes were blurry with unrestrained tears. Water dripped from my nose like a broken tap. My legs gave out finally and I slithered down onto the tiled floor of the restroom, my forehead leaning limply against, what I perceived at the time to be, the edge of the sink basin. Vaguely, I remembered somebody in white asking me if I was alright and the warmth of gentle hands brushing my slimy hair away from my face…

I covered my face with my hands and wished for all kinds of armageddon to befall the earth right now. But luck was not with me. The earth remained alive and serene. Slowly, I turned to the man beside me and hoped the red on my face didn’t show under the yellow glow of the parklamp.

“It was you who carried me out of the men’s room?”

“It was me.”

I swallowed and thought hard how to phrase my next question.. “Um…Did I barge in while you were… you know… I mean… did I catch you... indecent?”

His grin was flustered. “Kind of.”

“Oh.” I felt the new heat on my face, so I took a sip of my tasteless coke. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. And if you're wondering, I did wash my hands.”

The corners of my mouth lifted only slightly. The silence crept back in and we let it stay. I fixed my stare sightlessly towards the river. Aunt V’s word came back to haunt me. She was wrong. I wasn’t a loser magnet.

I was the loser.

“Jerry?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have a pen and paper?”

“Uh… No. Sorry. What do you want them for?”

I inhaled, my gaze still fixed on the river.

“To write a note to my parents. Then I’m going to jump into the river and you are not to save me. Ok?”

Silence.

“Halle?”

“Yeah?”

“Hate to disappoint you… but the river’s only three feet deep.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, you can’t kill yourself yet. I haven’t told you about the next time I saw you. You were blue. But I have to tell you tomorrow night. Alright if I pick you up at eight?”

I dropped my gaze to my hands and found them trembling slightly. Was this guy a glutton for punishment or what? What would he want to ask me out for? Wasn’t tonight enough embarrassment?

I looked inside my paper cup and wondered if the coke was spiked. My heart was thudding too loud, yet my head felt deliciously floaty. I tested my tongue to see if it had gone comatose again. It worked fine.

“Eight is fine.” I croaked. “Do you want to know my vital statistics?”

I thought I’d let CT wait until tomorrow to get the scoop on how it went with Mission Take Down Matt. I was still in a daze over Jerry , my emotions too haywire. But, it was still only a little after eleven and the coast was clear of Mom, so I had no fear of her finding out what had gone down tonight. My secret was safe with Aunt V. Mom absolutely disapproved of her sister-in-law and never ventured anywhere near the latter’s sphere if she could help it.

The quiet computer beckoned again. I knew CT was waiting there online, expecting me to log on anytime now. Our chats usually went on until the wee hours of the morning when, whichever of us who got cross-eyed first, would initiate the goodnight ritual… which could last another half hour or so.

I eyed the computer, and hovered between standing CT up while I wallowed in my current tizzy state, or furnished CT with all the embellished details of how Matt was knocked off his pedestal, which however, would drag Jerry into the retelling too. I wasn’t too eager to share that last part with anyone yet.

I hovered some more. Then sighed, and jabbed at the start button to bring my pc to life. Half an hour later, CT was all updated and privy to Aunt V’s fearless manouvres in bringing the egomaniac tumbling down from his lofty perch. Sadly however, our main objective to get Matt humbled yielded no success.

Inevitably, we came to the part that I was reluctant to divulge. Hard as I tried, I couldn’t keep Jerry’s kiss out of my narrative.

Coconut Tree says ; Wow … Jerry KISSED you!? Wow…

Halle Pinyo says; That’s the third time I’m reading those words. Will you please cut it out!

Coconut Tree says ; I just can’t get over it. WOW. So the evening wasn’t all disaster after all. You ended up in a date with Doc Yummy.

Halle Pinyo says; It wasn’t a date. He was there as moral support and back-up.

Coconut Tree says ; If moral support and back-up include liplock, then keep him in your purse. A girl can never have enough of those. Okay, okay… now, he kissed you and Matt is history. And then…?

Halle Pinyo says; Nothing. He told me he’s actually seen me in person before… at the hospital … you remember I told you about Johnny and the clams and how I got sick? Well, that was when Jerry saw me. While I was sick and yuckky.

Coconut Tree says ; And he still kissed you! That’s saying something, isn’t it? But…Wait…Ack! You were WITH Johnny then, and with him again tonight!! That’s so not good! You need to make Doc Foodie NOT think that you’re not available. But tell me more!

Halle Pinyo says; There’s no more. It was late and there was not enough time to tell me about the second time he saw me so he’s going to tell me when he sees me tomorrow. He's asked me out.

Halle Pinyo says; Oh…. and the permit for Johnny’s resto came through. He’s asked me to look over the place with him tomorrow and we’ll have celebratory lunch after that.

Coconut Tree says ; Woohoo! You go, girl! Two dates with two gorgeous hunks in one day. Is life good, or is life good!? <grins> … <face falls> Gosh, I think I need to go scrounge around for a life.

Halle Pinyo says ; Johnny’s not a date. His business partner Eric will be there too.

Coconut Tree says ; Yeah. Sure. Whatever you tell yourself. Btw, when you’re done choosing which hunk you want to keep, pack the other one and send him over to my island. And if you don’t mind, I’d like fries with that and a massive gunk of chilli sauce doused on said hunk too. I like them HOT. (Can’t believe I just said that. I’m turning into Aunt V!) ROFL!!!!

Coconut Tree says ; Which reminds me… what did she whisper to Matt to turn him into a bust-up fire-hydrant?

Halle Pinyo says; LOL. You have such a way with visuals. Ok… first, she told him how she liked her diamond to be set on the ring, and then she suggested they visit his mother right after the date to talk about the wedding plans, and that she hoped they’d have ‘broods of children’ (Aunt V’s words) coz she’s ‘sure going to enjoy the ritual of getting them made’, (Aunt V’s words again).

Coconut Tree says ; ROFL!!!!! Oh my God, that’s precious!!!! Why didn’t I think of that last part!!! Hahahaha!!!

Halle Pinyo says; Lol. Yeah... That’s Aunt V for you.

Halle Pinyo says; Hey, I’m bushed. Think I’m going to turn in now. TTYL?

Coconut Tree says ; Yeah, sure. Later.

Coconut Tree says ; Hey, Halle… just one last thing. I get this vibe that you’re a little reluctant about Jerry. You’ve been chatting with the guy for about a year now. I thought you like him. So…what’s the problem?

Halle Pinyo says ; Um…that’s the problem— I’m not really sure what the problem is. I like Doc Foodie and I don’t want that to change. But now that I’ve known him in person, somehow… I don’t know. maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to let him be there tonight.

Coconut Tree says ; Why? Could it be that after seeing him as Jerry-so-delicious in the flesh, you’re more than ‘liking’ him? And you’re afraid?

Halle Pinyo says ; Why do I have to SEE him to like him more? Isn’t that very superficial and shallow? Would I have felt affected like this if he’s… say… short and bald and maybe bucktoothed? Will I still like him then? Or will I try to block Doc Foodie from my IM chat after I’d seen him like that? What he looks like shouldn’t matter.

Halle Pinyo says ; <sigh> If his looks is affecting how I feel about him, then I’m no better than my ex. Heck, I’m no better than Matt even! And how do I know that Jerry’s not going to do what my ex did to me? Assuming that he’d want to have a relationship in the first place… Or what Aunt V’s groom-of-doom did to her?

Coconut Tree says ; Hey, stop it! Not all men are clones of Matt or your ex or Aunt V’s ex. There are good and sincere ones out there. And Jerry could be one of them. My father was a good man. As I’m sure yours is too.

Halle Pinyo says ; I don’t know. I’m so messed up. Maybe I need to think things through first before agreeing to go out with him tomorrow. Maybe I should leave him a message and tell him something comes up and I have to cancel our … outing.

Coconut Tree says ; DATE. It’s called a date. Maybe sometimes you have to trust your instincts and take a chance. You like Doc Foodie/Jerry. Just go with the flow. Don’t analyse too much.

Halle Pinyo says ; Do you moonlight as a shrink by any chance?

Coconut Tree says ; No. Just desperate for you to you make up your mind quickly and send me the hunk discard.

Halle Pinyo says ; Should’ve told me earlier you’re desperate for hunks. I’dve sent you Matt. He IS a hottie. That part he wasn’t kidding.

Coconut Tree says ; Euww!!! Bleagh!!! Yukkks!!! Pffft!! No thanks! Ugh! Good night for real this time before you decide to send me your ex too in a 2-for-1 offer. <shudders>

Coconut Tree says ; Sweet dreams (of Jerry /Johnny)! Later! Bye!

I returned CT’s goodnight, and was just about to log off and shut down the computer when Doc Foodie popped up in the middle of the screen.

My heart jolted, and wouldn’t slow down its furious beating. Talk about the handsome devil…

Doc Foodie says ; Hey.

Halle Pinyo says ; Hey.

Doc Foodie says ; You got in alright?

Halle Pinyo says ; Yeah. Thanks.

Doc Foodie says ; Just want to tell you, I had a good time tonight, despite Matt. It was great to finally actually hear your voice saying your words and not see them on my screen.

And for the life of me, I couldn’t find anything to reply to that. Every inch of me too flustered by the image of him still fresh in my mind. I could even see him on the screen right there over his nick.

Doc Foodie says ; You alright?

Halle Pinyo says ; Yeah.

Doc Foodie says ; Sure? Coz usually there’d already be strings of words scrolled across my screen by now.

Halle Pinyo says ; I’m sorry. I guess I’m a little tired, that’s all. Lol. It’s not everyday that a girl gets to completely humiliate and mortify herself in public. Not to mention get deleted from the phone by THE Ultimate Hunk of the….what? Month? Year?

Doc Foodie says ; Who cares? FYI, you look quite cute in the shades and hat. Very mysterious and intriguing. It’s the sun and the moon that are spoiling the effect.

Halle Pinyo says ; Ha-ha. Very funny.

Doc Foodie says ; <grins>Hey, you didn’t regret driving ultimate hunk away? After all, he could really turn out famous one day.

Halle Pinyo says ; I don’t care if he turns out to be the president one day. He’s a jerk.

Doc Foodie says ; I was thinking maybe you would’ve saved yourself the trauma of tonight’s Matt encounter if you’d have given him left-over clams instead.

Halle Pinyo says ; And of course, you just have to bring that up

Doc Foodie says ; Lol. Sorry. Can’t help that. On the other hand, I’m glad tonight happened. Especially with one particular part during the mission, and the latter part by the river.

Funny how the brain could go numb while the heart leapt in all kinds of dis-synchronised rhythm. My fingers remained hovering over the keyboard. No words could form in my head, the space there filled only with Jerry’s enigmatic expression when I’d shown him my bemusement in that awkward moment by the river when I’d turned around and caught his contemplation of me— a word he'd uttered hanging between us.

Beautiful.

The adjective echoed caressingly in my head. His quiet baritone making me shiver with its drugging timbre. I could still see his shadowed amber eyes locked with mine, mesmerising me with the golden flecks in them. He’d looked as confused as I was over that one word…

Doc Foodie says ; Halle?

Halle Pinyo says ; Yeah?

Doc Foodie says ; You’re not typing words into my screen.

Halle Pinyo says ; Sorry. I think I’m really exhausted. I think I’m going to go to bed now.

Doc Foodie says ; Oh. Right. Sorry for keeping you. Just want to make sure you got in alright.

Halle Pinyo says ; Thanks. Jerry?

Doc Foodie says ; Yeah?

Halle Pinyo says ; Tell me about the time when you saw me blue.

Doc Foodie says ; You’re tired. I don’t want to keep you up. Tell you that tomorrow when we meet , like I promised. 8 o’clock?

My upper teeth drew my lower lip in and began gnawing at it. Should I tell him now something had just come up and I was sorry but I was not going to make it tomorrow. But what if he ran into me with Johnny at lunch and wondered how come I could spare some time to keep my date with Whatahunk, yet could not with him?

Doc Foodie says ; Halle? You’re doing it again. Your words are not on my screen…

Doc Foodie says ; You’re not thinking of killing yourself before our date, are you?

Doc Foodie says ; Please don’t say something came up and you’re not going to make it tomorrow…

I had to laugh softly at that. What, my handsome knight in denim shirt is a mind-reader now? God, he was making this so hard.

Halle Pinyo says ; Sorry, I got a little distracted. Multi-tasking.

Doc Foodie says ; I see. So, tomorrow… I’ll see you at eight?

The tabs on the keyboard under my fingers suddenly seemed like a complicated piece of technology. My fingertips drummed nervously over the keys, my mind in a whirl. But I knew I couldn’t keep staring at the screen and remain silent.

Finally, my resolve firmed, I heaved in a huge gulp of air, then willed my digits to tap my response.

Aunt V’s ‘Hello… Good morning,’ sing-songed out from my earpiece after only the third buzz.

“I cancelled on Jerry,” I whimpered and sniffed. “He asked me out on a date and I cancelled on him!” I moaned, letting my wretched deed of last night burst forth from its brittle dam in a torrential outpouring of misery. Words tumbled out of my mouth, tripping over each other in the rush to air out my guilt.

“Honey,” Aunt V interrupted, “If you don’t stop and breathe, the only date you’ll have to worry about is with the embalmer. Now, what’s all this about cancelling on Jerry?”

I breathed, calmed myself, and renarrated my sorry actions against the good doctor.

“He was very gracious about it… or at least, his words on my screen were. He even apologised for assuming that I’d be interested.” I groaned. “I think I’ve messed things up between us. Big time!”

“Yep. Certainly sounds like you have.” Aunt V’s tone was annoyingly cheery. “On the upside, now that Jerry knows for sure you’re not interested, you can rest assured that he’ll never ask you out again. Which means he’ll not waste his time on you and can turn his attention to other girls. While you, can focus your whole energy on Johnny Whatahunk. If you need help fighting off all those other besotted females clinging to Johnny’s hard-muscled body, just let me know.”

“Aunt V! That’s not helping at all! I don’t want Johnny!”

“Oh? You don’t? Then who do you want?”

“I want Jerry !” The words spurted out before my brain had the time to even register its presence. “I mean…I-I…like Jerry… as a… friend, and I don’t want to lose him.”

“Alright. So don’t lose him,” Aunt V replied promptly.

I seethed and fumbled for a response. But couldn’t come up with any. The pause in communication was tensed, made worse when Aunt V didn’t help fill it up.. It stretched , until I thought our connection was cut off. But then Aunt V came back on. She sounded unrecognisably serious.

“Look, Halle,” she said. “Choosing the best path in life sometimes makes for a very tricky decision. But it helps to learn from other people’s mistakes, and wisdom. I’ve wasted the best part of my life being wary of letting … anyone get too close to me. All because of the action of one person. I refused to acknowledge the fact that people are made up of separate individuals, each very different from one another. Just because a person is of the same species, doesn't mean that he'll act the same way as all the rest of his kind. I built this impenetrable shield around me that keeps potential hurt on the outside, and my heart safe on the inside. But you know what? It hurts terribly more when one day, I realised that I’m all alone inside my very safe bubble. And some days, it can get very very cold trapped here all by myself.”

Pause.

“As long as one loves and cares, I don’t think one can avoid getting hurt. And if one is lucky enough to have that love returned, then the bond becomes stronger by the two-way love. Any hurt can be overcome by the strength of such a love. Consider the alternative, do you really want to be totally immuned from hurt, and miss the chance of knowing what it is to feel love and take a chance that it might be returned?” Aunt V asked then paused for a moment. “You understand what I’m saying?”

I felt an ache in my throat. My air passage became constricted.

“I think I do.” I nodded as if my aunt could see the gesture. “But I don’t know how to make things right, Aunt V,” I wheezed.

“Oh, you do.” Aunt V’s voice was back to her perky self. “First, you’re going to get a pen and a paper.”

I frowned.

“I’m going to write a suicide note?”






“Where are you going?”

I whirled around, , one foot suspended over my ankle-high boot.

Mom.

“Out.” I told her and refocussed on the task of booting up my foot.

“I can see that. Exactly where to?” Mom had that look on her face. The one that told me her radar had picked up something covert going on with me. Her suspicion was on high alert— that at least one male species had wandered into my personal space.

“Lunch. With a friend.”

I purposely kept that info short and unelaborated, my full attention on lacing up my boot. I dreaded Mom finding out about Johnny. His good looks and charming manner would definitely send Mom into a frenzy of fantasies, conjuring up how beautiful her grandkids would be if they took after their father.

Or… she could also tip the other way and be absolutely opposed to the prospect of Whatahunk usurping the place in my life that she’d reserved determinedly for my ex, still hopeful for him to become my ex-ex.

My boots all laced up, I straightened from my bent form. And gasped when I found Mom directly behind me.

“I’ve heard some noise that you’re quite involved with a certain young man around town.” Mom launched her first line of attack. “Is he the one who poisoned you with the bad clams that landed you in hospital for a week? And didn’t even have the courtesy to stay around and wait for us to arrive.”

I sighed.

“Mom… if you remember, the clams were the ones I cooked, the ones we all ate the day before. And… he didn’t stick around because he had a very important business meeting to attend. I asked him to go. He wanted to stay. “

“Monkey business?”

“Money business!” I snapped.

“Is he the ‘friend’ you’re meeting for lunch then?” Mom tailed very close behind me to the door. I kept my silence and pretended I didn’t hear her question. Her strategy was so unvarying that I knew what was coming next.

And then it came. I didn’t even have to wait very long.

“Why is it that you can make the time to spend with this man you barely know, yet refuse to see your boyfriend who’s making every effort for a reconciliation. Remember, nothing is so huge that it is unforgivable. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re just being vindictive, flaunting this other young man around—”

“Okay, Mom,” I cut in bitingly. “You have to stop there. First of all, for me to flaunt other men around, I first have to be attached to a man, which I’m not. Secondly… I broke off with that lowlife so-called ‘boyfriend’ because he cheated on me with Cousin Anita, right here under our very noses. Thirdly, that ‘other young man’ whom I’ve been ‘flaunting’ around happens to be someone I’ve been helping out with in getting his restaurant business started and who has shown interest in placing some of my original recipes in his menu. Now, if people would get their facts straight first before flapping their mouths about, then this world wouldn’t be so noisy.”

I breathed and exhaled, and felt as if a huge elephant had been lifted off from its perch on my shoulders. Why hadn’t I done this before?

I looked at Mom’s frozen expression, her mouth slightly agape, disbelief on her face. “Your cousin Anita? That mousy little thing?” She slurred.

I laughed. “Hardly, Mom. She hasn’t been ‘that mousy little thing’ for quite some years now. Anyway, that’s all over. So, can I hope that there’ll be no more talk about me getting back together with that two-timer?”

Mom’s mouth opened, then closed.

Poor Mom. I guess it would take some time to recover from the shock of being cheated on. But for now, my main order of business was to split before Mom regained the use of her tongue and brain.

Fingering the slip of paper in my jeans pocket, I informed her, “ I won’t be home for dinner, so don’t wait for me.” Then, surprising her … and myself, I did something I hadn’t done since I was eight— I planted a kiss on her cheek, “I love you Mom. I know I haven’t been a good girl lately but I promise I’m going to change. I’m going out now and work hard to try to give you the three grandchildren you’re so longing for.”

Before she could make sense of my words, I dashed out the door and disappeared down the stairs.

You know those butterflies in the stomach that people always talked about?

Well, mine was filled with platoons of dragonflies, hovering and fltting about… Anxious and undecided one moment, then zipping agitatedly around in mass panic the next. My lungs had a hard time keeping up with these frenetic emotions, my breathing reduced to nervous gasps that left my mouth and throat more arid than the Sahara.

I squinted again at the numbers scrawled on the little note-paper, and then up at the golden numerals mounted on the apartment door — #28-C, both read.

Trust Aunt V to get Jerry’s address and phone number! The woman had more guile than Agent Sydney Bristow in a skimpy leather brassiere and skirt, the sum of both no bigger than a handkerchief.

I dithered before the closed door. The watch on my wrist showed 7:32pm. The furious gnawing of my bottom lip would’ve put beavers to shame. I was painfully aware of the risk of making a big fool of myself standing here outside Jerry’s door. Not that I hadn’t completely accomplished that already. Yet, here I was still. Did I really believe that he’d be inside there moping because little insignificant me had backed out on our date?

Sheesh! Get real!

But I’d packed away my pride and come this far. I had to make things right. No backing out. I heaved a deep breath, raised my knuckles, and knocked … three times. Then had this crazy urge to break into the song—

Knock three times, on the ceiling if you want me… Twice on the pipe, if you ain’t gonna show….

But five heartbeats thundered by.

Still the door remained sullen and closed.

“O-kaay… nobody home,” I muttered, relieved and dejected at the same time. Gingerly, I U-turned to flee from this pathetic endeavor. For all I knew, Jerry wasn’t even giving me an iota of thought right now because he was out around town somewhere having a cosy dinner with someone who was the opposite of the moronic walking disaster personified by yours truly.

“Halle?”

I jumped. And spun back around.

Jerry stood there in the opened doorway. Tall, magnetic and gloriously masculine.

“Jerry… hi.” I almost hyperventilated.

“Hi.” Puzzled surprise flitted across his face. “What are you doing here?”

“I uh…Aunt V gave me your address, and I’ve come to tell you…that um…” I breathed and commanded my mind to focus on what I wanted to say. Not give in to the temptation to swoon at how breathtaking he looked all in black. “Actually, I’ve come to apologize about yesterday. For cancelling on you.”

“I see.”

“I uh, it’s not that I don’t want to go out … with you… It’s just… You see, it’s not you. It’s me… I just—” I worried my lips some more, “I’m sorry.”

His shrug was slight, no smile on his face.

My guilt stuck around. I needed to make him understand, and maybe forgive. “You see, I have this uh… kinda phobia about relationships, and um…I guess I…you… well , I panicked.”

There! I’d said it.

I peered up at his stoic face, willing him to say something because I had no idea what else I needed to say to set things right. But Jerry was waiting for me to continue.

I racked my brain and couldn’t think of anything more that wouldn’t sound too pathetic or stupid. I had come with no ready speech planned. I dipped my head and contemplated the tip of my shoes.

“This is a mistake. I’m sorry to have bothered you. I think I’ll just go now.”

Head still bowed, I pivoted to head back where I’d come from.

“Wait! Halle…”

Jerry’s long fingers grasped my upper arm to stop my flight. Gently, he turned me around. He was too close, his familiar scent mingling with the breath I inhaled. God, did he have to smell this good all the time?

“I think we need to talk.” His gaze captured me, the earnestness in its amber depths stirring something warm inside. “I’m sorry …will you come in?”

He moved to one side and motioned for me to step into his apartment. My feet moved on their own volition and carried me across the threshold, while the rest of me was in a tug-of-war between staying and fleeing.

The apartment was spacious and decidedly male in every respect. Much like Johnny’s. However, unlike Johnny’s who, I suspected wasn’t aware of the existence of this thing called a laundry basket, Jerry’s living space was uncluttered and clean. But what else would one expect from a doctor?

It was awkward, standing there in his personal space… his disturbing presence real, not the two words on my screen. He seemed to sense my disquiet and offered me a drink. I declined. I didn’t think my stomach could cope with the function it was designed for. I took discreet calming breaths, but the nervous flutterings inside me refused to be soothed. Jerry led me to the couch. I was glad to be seated thinking my nerves would calm down when I did. Alas, they exacerbated instead when Jerry seated himself a mere elbow space beside me.

I licked my lips.“I need to explain,” I began again, ignoring the pesky niggling at the back of my mind why it mattered so much that Jerry understood my hang-ups. “I was in a relationship until about a few years ago. We were together for more than three years and it was generally taken for granted that a marriage was definite between us. To my mom, he was already the son-in-law she was waiting for. He’d become such a fixture with my family and assorted relatives, that no one took any notice when he was over-friendly with my cousin Anita. But I caught them… together … one day, in my own home…" I stopped, baffled at the absence of the painful clench to my heart that normally accompanied this memory.

“Halle,” Jerry interposed quietly, “you don’t have to tell me if it’s too painful.”

I shifted my bafflement to him. “No. It’s funny… for the first time, it doesn’t hurt at all. I feel … nothing.” I shook the bafflement away, and continued. “Anyway, the hurt and pain of that betrayal was too humiliating. I ended our relationship, of course, but kept my discovery only to myself and Aunt V… and until very recently, CT. Since my ex was loved by all my relatives and friends, the blame for the break-up became heaped on me. After all, I broke us up and I’m generally perceived as flighty and indecisive.” I laughed. “He cheated on me and I’m the flighty one. Well anyway… after that bitter experience, I became cautious and kept my heart closely guarded. I do enjoy the occassional dates now and then, but only ones that I know will not lead to a second date or anything deeper.”

Jerry shifted and cleared his throat before saying, “But it’s different with… Johnny? I uh … get the impression that you go out on regular dates with him.”

I wasn’t sure if that was a statement or a question. I was sure only that Jerry’s impression was inaccurate and it was imperative that I correct it.

“Yes, Johnny is different, but not in the way you think, I think.” My brows furrowed at that, but I let it pass. “Johnny and I are friends. Completely platonic. He’s very sincere about our friendship and he wants it to last. He’s been very forthright about that. He likes me, and I like him, but that’s as far as we’ll go— Close friends. I go out with him more than once, yes… to discuss about the restaurant business I’m helping him start. His business partner, Eric and their lawyer friend, Shauna usually join us too.”

“You had a lunch date this afternoon, with him,” Jerry stated. He would know. He was there when Johnny made the invitation.

“Yes.” I let my eyes connect with his. “To celebrate the eatery’s licence that just came through. He and Eric are persuading me to be involved in the culinary side of the business. I’m considering it, since that will be considered as a ‘real job’. Mom will be happy that I’ll be gainfully employed, at last. Although I don’t think there would be much in the way of an income at the beginning.” I paused, not sure how to explain the next part. But I plunged. “I have no reservations about going out with Johnny because, no matter how flustered I am by his good looks, I know my heart will remain free and safe. Johnny doesn’t touch my heart.”

“I see.”

I breathed, and braved a direct gaze at the brooding man beside me. “Do you?”

His returning gaze lingered and stretched for quite some moment. Then, inhaling deeply, he shook his head. “I’m not quite sure. I have an inkling but I don’t want to be wrong.” He shifted again, and dropped his gaze to his clasped hands. “ Let me see if I get this right… You have been badly hurt once and you’re wary of being hurt again. So you will never agree to go on a date with a guy whom you feel something for, because then he will have the power to cause you heartache. You’re perfectly happy to go out on a date with Johnny though," he paused, then turned darkened eyes at me, “but you cancelled a date with me because you panicked.” He breathed deep. “Because… unlike Johnny, I have the power to hurt you…?”

I wanted my head to nod, but I didn’t think it obeyed my wish. My gaze was too transfixed by the storm in Jerry's eyes that seemed to leap out and plunge into mine to create a storm of my own.

“If you keep running away, you’ll leave everyone behind and find yourself all alone in the end,” he said.

“I know. I don’t want to do that anymore.”

“So…” He moved, angling his position so that he was facing me more. “You are not going to run away anymore… and start running towards instead?”

“Yes.”

He hesitated. “One question… How many other dates have you turned down?”

I thought that over. “None.”

The storm in those amber depths intensified, the golden flecks sparkling alight. Jerry kept my gaze locked with his. I felt his hand move, it’s warmth settling lightly against the side of my face. I tingled when his thumb began a slow caressing stroke along the skin of my jawline. His eyes slid down and trailed the movement.

“That’s good to hear. Because I have an admission to make too.” His voice was so soft and low, that its seductive timbre sent waves of disturbing currents coursing through my veins and out to every nerve endings in my body.

I shivered.

He brought his darkened gaze back to simmer into mine. “I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a long time, but I was afraid to mess up what we had online. I treasure us too much. Halle… I hurt… a lot… when you changed your mind yesterday. Amazing, isn’t it? … You have the power to hurt me too.”

My heart suddenly couldn’t decide on one rhythm. It hammered away all out of tempo. I had to close my eyes and breathe deep to bring back order and quell the internal mayhem. But of course, that meant inhaling a lungful of Jerry’s intoxicating scent, thereby increasing the chaos in my chest.

My eyelids fluttered open. I didn’t make any effort to hide whatever that was revealed in my eyes.

“I’m a klutz.”

He smiled. “Yes, you are.”

My heart clamored more at the transformation that smile brought to his face. The tingling warmth of his hand on the skin area below my ears slid to the nape of my neck. I watched mesmerised as his face slowly closed the space separating us, his hooded gaze fixed on my mouth.

“I’m very partial to klutzes.” He slurred, his face beginning to fill up my whole vision. “Especially the purple, blue, white and fiery-red ones—”

“Didn’t realise I’m so colorful.” My eyes drifted close. I savored his scent that absorbed itself into me. “Jerry?”

“Hmm?” The warmth of his breath fanned my skin.

“I think I remember when you saw me blue.”

“Yeah?” His lips feathered against mine in a series of soft, slow brushes, tweaking my senses into coming acutely alive. “Halle?” He breathed.

I quivered, and tilted my face up involuntarily. “Hmm?”

“Now that…” he spoke against my mouth, punctuating the words with lingering nips on my lips, “you’re running… towards, …I’d like… to be… the one …there… waiting… at the… finish… line.”

“I’d … like… that… too.” I whispered, barely able to form the words, my mouth too drugged by the sensations of the slowly increasing pressure of his mouth. “Ver—”

I didn’t get to finish that word. My breath caught right before Jerry dragged me to him and pressed in to capture my parted lips, in a kiss so searing that there was nothing I could do but surrender my mouth to the heated pressure of his.

“You lied.” I pouted. “The water’s three metres deep. Not three feet .” I pointed to the caution sign on the embankment by the river.

Jerry and I had somehow found ourselves ambling here by the same riverwalk that we’d ended up yesternight. I’d uncancelled our date, and he’d taken me to dinner at a posh restaurant a few doors from Mona’s Café. Now, stopping at the very same bench where the mortifying circumstances behind the mystery of my purpleness was revealed, I’d leaned over the railing to capture again the whispered symphony of the soft wind, the water and the trees. That was when I spied the ‘No Fishing/Swimming' sign.

Jerry grinned at my accusation.

I fought hard to keep from reacting to how attractively boyish he looked. A pair of twinkling ambers danced back at me as he raked a lock of chestnut hair back from flopping over onto his forehead, only to have the night breeze tease it forward again.

“Well, technically I didn’t lie.” His hand went up to discipline the errant lock.

I fired him my most displeased glare. I didn’t think I quite manage to pull that off with any degree of credibility though, given the flip-flopping state of my heart.

“Yeah? If that’s not lying, then what is it?” I demanded.

He shrugged evasively. “It’s called prevarication. I didn’t lie per se. I merely… mis-led.”

I contemplated the smug grin plastered over the underlying guilt. “Just like you’ve been misleading me this past month into thinking that we’re just two faceless nicks chatting in cyberspace… when all the time, you already knew the me in person? You talked to me face to face. Not once… but twice! Yet you didn’t mention a word about it. Not one word.”

His amusement faded, leaving only an uneasy smile. “I don’t think that qualifies as ‘misleading’. I… simply chose not to let that fact be known. So, you see, it doesn’t fit in with the definition of lying.”

“It’s lying by omission. Same difference.” I insisted. “Why didn’t you tell me?” But my focus became distracted by his hand that was moving up to push the flopping hair back again. I reached out and captured his wrist. “Leave it. I like it like that.”

He ceded to my command, but seized my hand when I would have dropped it back to my side. Interlacing our fingers together, he moved close to my side and leaned his back against the railing so that I was facing him but could still enjoy the view of the river. His free hand glided up my other arm to join the light breeze playing with the fluttering tendrils of my hair.

“I didn’t say anything because Johnny was with you each time I saw you. My conclusion was that you and him were an item. But tell me,” he asked softly, “if I’d told you… that I’d met you… how I’d met you that first time and suggested that we move on beyond chat friends, what would’ve been your reaction?”

My reaction? I let my gaze drift over to the river and mulled over the poser. My unseeing focus stayed on the serene nature before me, taking my time with my response. “I’d probably think it’s about time that we met too… and said… yes.” I lied, the memory of the misgivings of yesterday came rushing back.

Jerry let out a small mirthless laugh. “You’re a klutz, Halle, remember? You’re tripping. You can’t even lie smoothly. I’ll help you here— Let’s see… You would most probably be suspicious of my motive, and rightly so, I might add. And if I were so lucky not to have an Operation Take-down-Jerry taken on me, then you’d probably start initiating the drawing-away procedure… from Doc Foodie too, and maybe even sever the connection that I’ve enjoyed with you this past year. In fact, I believe, the drawing away part has already begun… last night. I could sense your distance. ” His gaze probed deep into mine. “Truthfully, Halle… that would’ve been your reaction, wouldn’t it?”

I had to give Jerry full marks. He was astute, I couldn’t deny that. Now, if only I could word coherently my actual fear… I drew in a lungful of honesty.

“My stiffness last night wasn’t all about you. It was more about me. I was lacking in confidence over my own judgement. I like Doc Foodie. He’s… you’re my special cyberfriend. Very special. I liked you without knowing how you looked like, how tall you were, how goo— um … how your voice sounded like. I was proud of myself for liking you solely based on your personality and intellect. But then, yesterday … we met a-and… what I feel about you become influenced by the physical. It makes me wonder about myself…how superficial I am… I’m a hypocrite. All those accusations I’d hurled at my ex…It makes me see that I’m no better. And I don’t like myself. You shouldn’t like me too. I’m nothing but an arrogant fluff-head.”

Jerry straightened away from the railing, the hand toying with my hair glided down my arm to curve around my waist, and gently drew me into his arm. He brought our clasped hands up, deposited mine over the strong beating of his heart, and dropped the now freed hand to join the other at the small of my back. I found myself encircled loosely within his arms . Toe to toe, and with a very small space between our faces, my gaze had nowhere to go but up into his eyes, becoming transfixed at how dark his pupils had become, so much… that his eyes appeared black.

“There’s nothing wrong with liking what you see,” his voice vibrated into me, the tone so low it made me quiver with its spine-tingling resonance. “I’m liking very much what I’m seeing now. And I thank God for blessing me with the gift of sight so I can enjoy the beauty He has created and sent my way. Halle… I liked you too… a lot… before we met, and I consider it an added bonus that I’ve got the pleasure of meeting you in person, like I’d always wished. And what a lovely person you are too, albeit a little purple…” his head tilted slightly, an eye squeezed in mock grimace. He chuckled softly when I rolled my eyes. But the seriouseness promptly returned. “Halle, our connection was formed sincerely by a special bond that came from deep within our hearts… your heart , my heart … so how can you say you’re superficial? What we have is too special to be shunned over something as trivial as physical appearance. We like each other for who we are… not how we look. It’d be really tragic to throw away something so precious. Wouldn’t you say? ”

I hadn’t thought to look at it that way. And I liked the sense it made. How was it that I was so lucky to have this wonderful man cross my path… or more accurately, directed to my blogsite’s path? As such, who was I to argue against such wisdom? Jerry was right. It was a bonus that he was heart-thumpingly tall and handsome. I should be grateful and count my blessings, right? The small smile that lifted the corners of my mouth seeped in slowly.

“Yes, I would say,” I managed in awed whisper. To cover the sudden wave of shyness that enveloped me, I traced imaginary patterns across the cloth over Jerry’s collar bone. “Although… I’m kind of wondering, what man in his right mind would find anything worth looking at, in a purple, puking mess of a klutz slumped against a urinal.”

Jerry’s face scrunched up in serious thought, the amusement controlled. “Hm… I’d say, the man who is already captivated by how smart, exciting, quirky and funny the klutz is through her words on the screen. The man who’s used to probing deeper into the unpleasant exterior to see the real person underneath. Even with puke all over you, I could see that that photo you put up in your blog doesn’t do justice to the Halle in person. Your beauty goes deeper than just on the outside. That makes you even more beautiful.”

Of course, my heart had to respond to that by staining the pink of my face to a deeper shade of crimson. Jerry slid a hand back up to cup its warmth over the side of my jaw, his thumb instantly swiping caressing brushes across my hot skin.

“Fiery-red. My favorite color on you,” he muttered, the heat of his gaze on my cheeks made them burn more.

“Not blue?”I tried to cover my fluster. “The time I choked on the clam—that was the time you saw me blue wasn’t it? ” I swallowed thickly when the memory of a yellow-teethed, ancient doctor’s face poked into my memory . “Jerry, please tell me it was you who gave me the kiss of life?”

He smiled. “Yes, it was … and yes, I was.” But his brows furrowed suddenly. “What’s with you and bad clams, anyway? Suicide the easy way not drama enough?”

“Ha-ha. Fun-ny.” My mouth crooked dryly but the smirk couldn’t stick around long. The smile on his face emanated too much melting power. I crumbled and caved in to the irresistable urge to brush my fingers along the skin of his chin and jawline. Although not stubbly, I loved the rough feel of his chin.

“I like clams,” I told him, and was proud that my brain was still functioning and hadn’t melted at this new intimacy. “But somehow they’re very vindictive towards me.”

He caught my roaming fingers and kissed the tips of each. “Can you blame them? I’d be vindictive towards you too if you keep putting my relatives in a pan over a hot fire. And I’m very curious to know the story behind the extremely vengeful one that choked you blue in the middle of a crowded ER. You must’ve ticked him off big time. What’d you do? Insulted his mother before you sauteed him?”

I rolled my eyes and burrowed my face into the base of his neck-column so that my head was tucked snugly under his chin. “I’m so liking this conversation. Very romantic. Makes me all tingly inside.” I spoke into his sweaterfront. Soft laughter rumbled out from his chest. I breathed in his scent, and raised my face. “You’re never going to let me live these moments down, are you?”

He was shaking his head and chortling quietly. “Nope. Never. It’ll be a story that will go down in our family’s history, to be repeated by our children, their children’s children, and the ensuing generations hence forth.”

I swallowed hard at the implication of that statement, my heartbeat pounding in wild chaos. But I pretended to be unflustered and took refuge in recounting the events that led to my being blue.

“Because of the purple incident,” I began, “ Johnny didn’t get to sample the recipe that I wanted him to. So, I made him another batch and brought it to his apartment a few days after I got out of the hospital. Unfortunately, … being the klutz that I am, I was opening a cabinet door to take out a pan to heat up the clams, when Johnny dashed in right that very second to get something out of the beeping microwave. It all happened very fast. It was so bizzare. The sharp corner of the cabinet door jammed right into his uhm… very vulnerable area… and uh… all I knew was, the next moment he was groaning and writhing on the kitchen floor and looking like he was dying.”

Jerry’s laughter exploded. “Oh, I imagine he was!”

I scowled him my disapproval, and continued wryly. “Anyway, next thing… we were at the hospital. Out in the waiting area, I got hungry while Johnny was being treated in the exam room. I went to the vending machine but that automated thief stole my money. It didn’t give me the candybar I’d paid for, so I looked in my purse for the mint candy I always have in there, and found the container of clams. But the moment I popped one of those buggers into my mouth, I began to gag because the darn thing tasted terribly acrid. How in the world I gasped when I was supposed to spit was a big mystery.”

“Wait,” Jerry interrupted amidst his laughter. “That’s when the clam lunged into your throat instead of scooting out?” His laughter erupted harder despite my annoyed glare. “So you decided self strangulation would be sweet justice to that murderous clam— If you go down , Mr Clam is going down with you.”

“I was trying to squeeze the little devil out,” I scowled. “But it refused to budge. Then I felt my middle being squeezed so hard and so painful, I guess I blacked out. When I came to, there was a face above mine, and I remembered having this weird thought that it was a heck of a funny time to be kissed… and I seemed to remember thinking that I knew that face and voice from somewhere. It was all so blurry.” I looked at Jerry. “It was really you who kissed me?”

Sobering, Jerry reassured with a nod. “I was at the nurse’s station, about to sign out from the day’s shift when I noticed you there in the waiting area. I looked around for a sign of Johnny but he was nowhere. When I turned back to you, you were blue. Then you started to gag. I rushed over and did the Heimlich on you… you know the armlock around your abdomen manouvre… the one that you always see in movies?” At my nod, he continued, “The clam shot out, but for some reason, you stopped breathing and became unconscious. So I gave you the … kiss.”

My thoughts immediately returned to the mind-blowing lips manouvre he’d administered on me back at his apartment. Delicious tingles buzzed all over at the memory of the sensation.

Note to self— choke on clams at least once a day, but please stay conscious!

“But , Jerry…” I snagged my focus back from it’s meandering, “it was a very ancient doctor, a… a Doctor Spock, I think, who treated me when I fully came round. Where were you?”

“Doctor Spike,” he corrected. “I signed out and went home when Johnny practically crawled out from the exam room, all frantic to get to you.”

My heart clenched at the shadow that darted fleetingly across Jerry’s face. But a question popped into my head. “But I went to St Mark’s Hospital. That’s not where you work.”

“I’ve been on loan there for the last couple of months, although I’m mostly upstairs in Neurosurgery.” His gaze swung away momentarily, and when it returned, there was something like guilt lurking in it. “And er, Halle… I actually saw you more than the two times I talked to you… only you didn’t realise I was looking.”

“You were stalking me?”

He jolted. “No, silly! You were at the ER so much I thought you were going to start pitching a tent and hang a door number on it.”

I slitted an eye at him. “Have you been talking to my father?” At his look of total incomprehension, I shook that topic away. “Never mind… Um, you said you saw me white too. When was I white? Did I die ?”

He coughed and had trouble meeting my eyes. “You turned white yesterday when Matt realised who you were and came to confront you. I uh… That was exactly what I’d hoped would happen.”

My eyes widened. “You purposely made me take off my disguise so that Matt would recognise me? The … kiss was … planned?”

He had the audacity to look sheepish. “Why do you think I offered to be your moral support?” His gaze sought mine when I made no response, the darkened ambers delving deep into mine.” You’re not mad, are you?”

Mad? I’d be crazy to be mad!

My head shook slowly. “I’m amazed. You’re devious, Doctor Jerry.”

“No,” his arms tightened around me, drawing me closer against his warm lean frame. “Just kinda pathetic and desperate.” His tone had dropped so low I began to shiver with the intensity of the emotions in it.

I held my breath when he leaned in and dropped soft lingering kisses on my brows. My face lifted instinctively so that his lips landed on my closed eyelids, then my cheeks and down to feather soft brushes onto the corners my mouth. I turned to catch the tantalising caress, but he evaded my seeking lips and launched an assault on the spot below my ears and the side of my neck. Shivers racked my whole body when I felt the pressure of his mouth nudge the underside of my jaw. I strained closer to his warmth. His arms tightened around me. My breath hitched.

“Jerry… I can’t breathe… You’re holding me too tight.”

His face lifted, the embrace slackening… but only just. My pulse raced anew at the pair of darkened ambers that smoldered into mine, the emotions in their fathomless depths, intense and afire …

“Then I’d better give you the kiss of life, hadn’t I?”

Which he did… very skillfully— his mouth settling firmly on mine to caress my lips with slow deliberate pressure, sending every nerve in that already sensitised area into coming even more acutely alive. My mind reeled, all functions of thoughts deserting me as I became conscious only of the intoxicating pleasure of Jerry’s lips wreaking havoc over my senses and my heart and setting the rest of me on fire.





My euphoria didn’t abate even after Jerry dropped me off at a little after midnight. His lingering goodnight kiss in the car only heightened my inebriated state. Thank goodness, the house was quiet, as always, everyone already snoring in bed. I went straight to my room, dropped myself onto the bed and stared at the ceiling to relive my time with Jerry. The pc beckoned me, but I ignored it for the time being. However, the urge to spill out my excitement to CT became too overwhelming.

I gravitated towards the pc. It whirred to life at the touch of the start button. The wait for it to boot took extraordinarily long. I took out my impatience on my nails, but got sidetracked when I felt the tender feel of my lips, still warm from the ecstatic taste of Jerry’s lips. My heartbeat reacted at the memory.

An IM window popped up out of the blue (of the pc screen, that is).

I startled. Doc Foodie beamed back at me. I savored the electric surge that buzzed deliciously all over my heightened self.

Doc Foodie says : Hey you!

Halle Pinyo says : Hey you right back!

Doc Foodie says : Got in alright?

Halle Pinyo says : Yep. My knight in black made sure of that.

Doc Foodie says : <grins> Good to hear.

Halle Pinyo says : Yeah. So how was your day?

Doc Foodie says : Incredible! Just got back from this date with this hot chick. I mean really HOT. If I’d squinted my eyes, I’d swear I was dating Sydney Bristow. Except Syd could never turn purple or blue or fiery red the way this hot chick does…

Doc Foodie says : Guess what? I’ve just discovered she’s nicknamed after that hot Mexican pepper… Jalapeno!!! How hot is that!?!?!? I think when we have children I’ll nickname them Chill Lee… Kaye Anne… Pob Belano….

I laughed and felt a new and unfamiliar emotion bubbling inside me. It felt jittery and warm and giddy all at the same time. I wondered if this was what being in love felt like. Funny , I didn’t feel like this at all with my ex…

Another IM window appeared on my screen. I giggled.

Coconut Tree says : HOY! Haven’t seen you online all day. Whatup?

I giggled again. My fingertips settled on the tabs. Happiness flowing out through them, I typed…

Halle Pinyo says : Romance@cyberspace.YES!!!

Author’s Note : To my friend whose real-life angst this work is based on— I don’t know whether to apologize or thank you for making me write this story. So, I think I’ll do both. I apologize and thank you for letting me let my imagination run loose.
(But it’s YOUR fault! I didn’t want to do it. You made me do it! )

Disclaimer: This story is a work of TOTAL FICTION. Names, characters, places and events are the product of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to places, actual events and persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
No hunks or clams are harmed in the course of this story.

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You can find this story, and several others of MizzN's stories here. MizzN's STFBE stories can be found here in her archive page. Comments are always welcome!