This is my first story in a few months. I took a writing sabbatical before Christmas and I'm just venturing back now.


This story is based around the song "I'd Love You To Want Me" by Lobo. I've been wanting to use it for about a year now but I never knew the right way to frame it. One of us could literally just post the lyrics and it would explain the characters Perfectly. I'm finally going to put it here under the First Impressions Challenge because that's what the song is about.

Also there is a character death in the story.

Thanks everyone for reading.







With gentle care he wiped the moss that had gathered around her name on the stone. The frost from last winter’s chill had dulled some of the colour he had took so long in choosing, wanting this earthy reminder to signify everything she meant to him. Kneeling down, he placed a fresh bouquet of carnations at the base of the stone.

“I can’t believe it’s been a year. I’m trying to be strong, but I’m always fighting back tears whenever I see something that reminds me of you. I know you would tell me it’s ok to cry but you know FBI agents don’t cry.” Jack chuckled and wiped the tears that were gathering. “Remember when we would drive past a graveyard and every time you saw someone knelt to a grave you would pray for them. Well I need someone to do that for me right now because I don’t know how I’m going to make it through today.”

Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his mp3 player. “I was running this morning and my legs brought me here. I didn’t plan on coming here until later with everyone else but I needed a few minutes alone with you. On my way to pick up the flowers this song came on and I thought about you and all your wisdom. You knew all along didn’t you? You always knew. Dad still says I should have listened to you more. I know you can’t hear this but I believe, in some way, you’ll understand what I’m playing for you now because it describes how my life changed that day to a tee.”

Finding the song, he pressed the ear buds to the ground and pressed play.

“When I saw you standing there
I about fell off my chair
When you moved your mouth to speak
I felt the blood go to my feet
Now it took time for me to know
What you tried so not to show
Something in my soul just cried
I see the want in your blue eyes”

Then, out of the corner of his eye he saw a lady walking her dog, a lab if his squinting was correct, and he paused the song. “Levi misses you. Every time someone mentions cinnamon rolls he gets this sad little puppy look. I miss your cinnamon rolls too mom, and so does Sue.

Interesting but very very sad but who has passed on please dont let it be Sue
Lin

Great opening line, Star. Poor Jack is mourning the loss of his mother. Please tell us more.

Until that last line, my heart was in my throat. Then I had to read the post again to make sure. Gripping opening.

kav

Exactly.

Karen

It took me a moment to remember to blink - but not in that way I usually forget to blink.

What's been happening in Jack's life? How long has it been? Looking forward to more!

I agree with everyone else. Gripping opening.

Love to know what happened to mom. Looking forward to more!

I think I just chewed a hole in my bottom lip. That was a gripping start.

I really thought it was Sue and my heart was breaking for Jack. Now it is in a different way.

I want to know more about Jack's mom and I'm sorry she died, but I am relieved it wasn't Sue. Sorry mom. I'd rather it be me than one of my daughters in law...so you don't think I'm just mean.

Anne

Poor Jack, I assume that he is at the grave of his Mom, although I can not figure out she knows Levi and his taste for the cinnamon rolls.
As stated by others, this story has a great start, gripping. Curious for more, who is he really taking to?

Definitely a gripping start.

Lindsy

Hope this answers some questions. As for how his mother died I haven't really decided, just that it was natural or an illness (non-violent). You can fill it in.




Jack shifted to settle himself more comfortably on the ground, pulling his knees upward and looping his arms around them. “You know Mom, that’s just what it was like the first time I saw Sue seven years ago. I was sat there, having a horrible day, and in walks this beautiful woman who is giving me a verbal beating for something I knew nothing about. She had fire Mom, she reminded me a lot of you.”

He raked his fingers through the new spring grass. It was full of vibrancy and life. It didn’t seem fair that it lay on top of a woman that drew her final breath one year ago today. Turning the song back on he let the chorus flow through the earth while humming along, by heart.

“Baby, I'd love you to want me
The way that I want you
The way that it should be
Baby, you'd love me to want you
The way that I want to
If you'd only let it be”

“I could see it in her eyes, even in that first meeting. She was interested, probably because I didn’t fire back at her when she yelled at me. A big part of me wanted to believe she had fell for my, what did you call them, my “CHO: Chocolate Hudson Orbs?”

He had to laugh. Just as clear as day he could hear his mother warning him about turning on his charm to innocent women. Normally he didn’t but with Sue, well, she charmed him first. “But Mom, I know I was the one who fell first. I even chased her to the cafeteria for crying out loud. You’ve seen the food they serve there, and it was still the best meal I ever ate. Excluding anything you’ve ever cooked of course. I took one look at her and knew I wanted her, in the most beautiful way. But looking at a woman and seeing forever is some scary stuff. Dad said that he saw forever with you.”

"You told yourself years ago
You'd never let your feelings show
The obligation that you made
For the title that they gave"

“And those stupid rules Mom. I partly blame myself for all those lost years. I made her a member of the team and therefore, off limits. Neither of us would dare break those rules. If I had “only let it be” and I hadn’t pushed to make her part of my team we could have been married for six years by now. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for that.”

This is so heart felt. You can feel Jack's emotions.

Wonderful job! Definitely want to see where this goes.

That's sweet, Ashley. I always think Jack would beat himself up about lost time, but then have to balance it out with what good friends they were able to become BEFORE diving into romance.

Great post!

I can see Jack pouring out his frustrations to his mom on the one year anniversary of her passing. For some reason I always figured Mrs. Hudson would be a good listener. Probably because Jack usually was.

So, they could have been married for six years by now, hmmm? Care to let us in on what the status of their relationship is... exactly?

Karen

Lovely beginning!! I love the song!

Tere

I'm with Karen. I've always believed that Mrs. Hudson would have always been Jack's sounding board. And the fact that he's talking about Sue like that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. But are they married now? Or is he still holding back?

Lindsy

Love his reflections at his mother's graveside...and the direction of his thoughts, however sad it is that he can't speak to her in person.

kav

wonderful opening.
I have a thing against things labeled 'character death' but i love this. At first i thought it was sue but after a few lines it was jack's mom. I look forward to seeing/reading what jack has to say and are jack and sue married or is he still the turtle we know?

Im with you there Karen and its so sad and heartbreaking for Jack
Lin

Ashley, very excited to see more of your work! I'm hooked and can't wait to read more. I too, was afraid that Jack was visiting Sue, and am relieved that she is well and they're married...but I'm still heartbroken for Jack. I hope he won't sit alone at his mom's grave for much longer.

Sly

As he let the rest of the song flow, tears of frustration began to replace the sorrow.

"Baby, I'd love you to want me
The way that I want you
The way that it should be
Baby, you'd love me to want you
The way that I want to
If you'd only let it be

Now it took time for me to know
What you tried so not to show
Something in my soul just cried
I see the want in your blue eyes

Baby, I'd love you to want me
The way that I want you
The way that it should be
Baby, you'd love me to want you
The way that I want to
If you'd only let it be”

“It’s so weird not working with her anymore, walking into the office and not seeing her desk. I know she’s happier with her new job but for four years I worked side by side with her. Selfishly I want her to miss me, to miss the whole team, enough to come back. But the protector in me knows she is safer staying away. I think the FBI is soon going to give up on me though. They have been trying for three years to find me another partner. What they don’t get is that you can’t replace Sue.”

He pounded the grass. He hated feeling like this and he hated bringing it to his mother’s grave even more. Normally he could work through his frustrations and focus on the good, and there was so much of it in his life. However today the world was cast in a dark shadow, just like it was one year ago. “When I saw you... last, you told me to go, find Sue and tell her that I loved her. I didn’t. I sat outside your room and I cried. I didn’t know if my heart would ever work again. I was a shell of a man through the funeral. Sue tried to comfort me, Bobby tried, even Dad did but I wouldn’t accept anything. Just like I didn’t accept your first impression of Sue when I told you about her on the phone all those years ago. You said you wanted that woman to be your second daughter. Subtly was never your strong point huh? Yet you had to leave me alone, let me find out my own path. Why didn’t you push me?

“I feel so alone again and I know it makes no sense. I have such a great family around me.” Jack turned off his mp3 and put it back in his pocket. His sleeve caught in the jacket and pulled up to reveal the watch his father had given him earlier that year for his birthday. “Dad is strong as ever. He’s started building stuff again. He wouldn’t touch his workbench for months after you left, he kept saying he wasn’t ready. Now he’s making toy chests for all his future grand kids, and he’s up to seven. I think that is his subtle way of hinting at me and sis.”

He smiled as the sun began its path further across the sky. Looking up he could see all of God’s creatures that his mother had taught him to appreciate so long ago. “Those birds you love are up singing in the trees, so carefree, and I’m heavy Mom. I just wish I could hug you once more.”

Oh, Jack . . ..

Ditto...

Karen

So sad. But now I'm starting to wonder if Jack really is the ultimate and has not yet told Sue how he feels about her.

Anne

You girls said it all.

that was sad...

Tere

“Daddy!” Two tiny arms flung themselves around Jack’s neck. Grinning he pulled his wiggling almost-three year old angel onto his lap. “Hey baby girl, what are you doing here?”

Wiping the hair from her eyes she looked up at him with a slight pout. “Mommy said you be here so we droved. And I am not baby, Mommy has baby.”

Feigning innocence, he crossed his arms. “Oh. Well I guess that means you don’t need a good morning kiss then.”

Contemplating his words she started to nibble on her bottom lip. “Weeelllllll, maybe a little one.” Proud of herself she flashed him her cheekiest smile displaying all her baby teeth.

“You are so much like your father.” The party of two on the ground turned around to see Sue walking toward them gently caressing her six month bump while a greying Levi stood guard by her side. Her hair up in a pony tail matched the other blonde sitting on Jack’s lap.

“She’s like me? I believe the lip nibbling came from her mother!” Blowing a raspberry onto his little girl’s cheek, Jack began to stand up.

“Uhh, scuse me, but I am Gracie Lois Carla Hudson, and I am special!” Jack tried to hide his laugh and looked pointedly at Sue. “Now who does that remind you of?” Sue ducked her head and blushed, “Ok, so maybe she is a little like me. Gracie, can you take Levi for a little walk? Don’t go too far, I’ll be watching.”

Gracie took the leash and began explaining to Levi how every person, and dog, was special and different. Except for Uncle Bobby and Aunt Tara’s babies who were the same, cause they have the same birthday. Watching her retreat Jack wrapped his arms around his other two angels and began to sign. “How did you know to find me here?”

“Would you believe a wife’s intuition?” Turning around she leaned in and kissed him tenderly. “I’m sorry Jack. I don’t have words for your pain today but God knows and he will help you. When I saw you sitting by the grave I stopped and prayed for you. All I can give you today is my heart, but you knew you had that already.”




one more post to come. Hope I didn't cause too much anxiety!

Now THAT, I liked!! I'm so glad I'm not going to have to slap Jack around for being a turtle . . . sounds like he's learned to speed things up a bit . . .

Nothing like making your feelings clear Regina. I will also admit to being a tad nervous that one Jackson Samuel Hudson was still in full turtle mode, but you put that fear to rest quite nicely Ashley. Such a lovely post.

Karen

caught up on two fantastic post but one was sad but then I just loved Jacks baby Girl so much like her Mummy so it seemed as she also has Daddy wrapped around her little finger cant wait for more
Lin

I love it!!

Tere

]“Would you believe a wife’s intuition?” Turning around she leaned in and kissed him tenderly. “I’m sorry Jack. I don’t have words for your pain today but God knows and he will help you. When I saw you sitting by the grave I stopped and prayed for you. All I can give you today is my heart, but you knew you had that already.”[/font]




Love this short piece of writing, but why do I have to shed so many tears when I read that paragraph, while loving Jack and Sue's relationship all over again:crush:

I just wish I had something else to say, but all I can think of is: Poor Jack.

Lindsy

Star, that was the perfect post to give us. Seeing how Jack was joined by his Sue and his little girl touched the heart. I loved the line about a wife's intuition.

Ashley, it's good to see you back writing and in the challenge!! I always enjoy your stories!!!

What a gripping start!! I too was afraid Jack was talking to Sue!! It's so sad that he lost his mother, but it sounds like she was able to be there for his wedding and the birth of his first child with Sue!!!

Your writing always keeps us guessing, and I was surprised and delighted to find out that he took his mother's advice sooner than later, and pursued Sue!! Gracie is adorable!!!

From now on I'm adopting CHO when I think about Jack!!! LOL

Joy

Love Gracie! and the fact that Jack and Sue are married.

kav

Except for the fact that I'm not a mother in law, I completely second that! My goodness what a start... poor Jack - somebody hug him!!

Yes, yes, I see the hands raising to volunteer...

Tina

Here is the final post. Thank you all for welcoming me back and reading this little tale. Have a wonderful rest of week, and weekend!

~Ashley




Smiling through his tears Jack hugged his wife with everything he had in him. Over her shoulder he looked back at his mother’s grave and laughed. “I’m sorry for doubting you Mom. You still know what I need before I do.” Pulling back, Sue wiped his tears. “What did you just say to your Mom?” Jack shook his head. “I’ll tell you later. How about we gather up Gracie and Levi and head home where I’ll make everyone a big breakfast?”

“That looks wonderful on your lips. I was thinking those chocolate chip pancakes with a little bit of bacon on the side, lots of syrup and a big glass of orange juice!” Sue’s eye went wide in delight as she turned to call out to Gracie and Levi. Jack’s hands once again came into her line of sight. “You sure you are eating for just two?”

Sue turned back in to him in the circle of his arms. “Was that a fat joke?” Noticing Jack’s blush and quick attempt to rectify she kissed his jaw. “I will agree, I am awful big this time around, more like a bulge then a bump. Guess we’ll find out at the ultrasound tomorrow won’t we?”

Jack swallowed hard. He had just been kidding. “You think... you, we’re having twins? But the doctors before never said anything! Why didn’t some....” He was silenced by another kiss, this time to his lips. “Jack, I’m the one who has to push them out. And doctors can make mistakes. And maybe I’m just really big this time. Either way, I’m blessed. You, on the other hand, might faint.”

Sue’s laugh warmed his anxious soul as she turned to greet Gracie and Levi. Gracie handed Levi’s leash to Sue and headed to her grandmother’s stone. Placing a kiss to the top of the marker, she whispered something and then turned and waved. Jack’s eyes misted and he looked to Sue to see if she read what Gracie said. “She said, ‘Bye Grandma Lois. I love you.’”

Jack couldn’t hold back the tears after hearing about Gracie’s words. He tried to wipe them away before scooping down and picking up his angel. “Grandma loves you too Gracie.”

“I know. Why you sad Daddy? Grandma loves you too, and mommy, and Levi, and the baby.”

“I know kiddo, I know.”

Gracie touched the tears gathered around his lashes. “Then why you cry?”

Sue leaned in and clasped her concerned child’s hand, “Remember when Uncle Myles cried when he married Aunt Lucy? Remember I told you some people cry when they are happy? Well Daddy is happy. He has you and the baby,”

“And your beautiful Mommy,”

Sue rolled her eyes, “And me, and Levi too, here with him. And he knows Grandma is in heaven watching us.”

Gracie looked back at Jack, once again nibbling her lip. Finally she gave a small shrug and said “OK.”

Jack and Sue both burst into laughter, there would never be any doubt who this child’s parents were. Gracie wrapped her arms around her daddy’s neck and settled in for the walk to the car. Jack pulled his other blonde angel to his side, leaned down to kiss her softly and began retracing the steps that a short while ago were etched in pain. Now, with the sun shining brightly on him, the birds’ music flowing through the air and the most precious people in the world holding him tight, he walked out a blessed man. It was the same blessed feeling he got every time he looked at his wife and daughter. The same feeling he instinctively had when he first laid eyes on Sue seven years ago. Gracie’s head rising from the crook of his neck disrupted his thoughts, “Daddy? You said FBI people do not cry!”

Jack kissed her forehead and chuckled his way through his explanation. Sue got Levi straightened away in the car and joined Jack in the front once Gracie was secure as well. As they drove away neither saw the robin resting on Lois Hudson’s stone, singing a song to greet the morning.


Drama
Word Count: 2234

Absolutely loved that, Ashley!!

What a great story! I'm almost sorry to see it end, but it ended so sweetly, how can I complain? Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent!

Out of the mouths of babes.

Wonderful story, Ashley!

Oh I could cry, I could shout...I just love this,what a life Jack and Sue are going to have

Such a beautiful ending to A wonderful story just loved there Daughter shes so like them both
Lin

A very beautiful ending. This was a very emotional story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Lindsy

What Regina quoted was my favourite part of the entire post. Absolutely wonderful Ashley. Love the sweetness Jack found walking back to the car in contrast to the anguish when he first arrived.

Glad you dove back into the writing pool again. Don't be a stranger, OK?

Karen

Loved Gracie! Loved the story! Very nice.

Great ending to a great story. Thanks, Star

Wonderful story!!
Thanks for share!

Tere

Little Gracie is so precious and that was a beautiful ending to a very emotional story. Thank you for sharing, Ashley.


Anne

Hey Ashley, that was beautiful work! So glad Sue and family came to join Jack at his mom's grave in his time of need. I can just picture the adorable Gracie and I love that there's a baby on the way. The whole piece was really touching and you almost got me a few times but I held it together and there was no until...


then, I guess it's time for some water sports

Lovely piece of writing. Thank you.

Sly

Gracie was just adorable.
thanks for a great story.
Terie